Places like this, they would tell us to stay away. Full with bad influence, alcohol, yeah, who would not say that. But for me, sometimes, places like this kinda helps. First time I went here, was when my mother passed away. I had been looking ways for me to numb the pain because at that point, it was unbearable. I lost the only one in my life that I could depend on. I lost a figure called father when I was in primary. I drank shots after shots and it did its magic. I felt like I was swinging mid-air, until it was time I landed on reality.

Afterwards, I realized that how hard I mourn, she can't come back. But for me, she still lived. Lived in my mind, my heart and everything I did, reminds me of her. She even supported my decision to quit my job that feeds us, just because I have passion towards photography.

"Mom, I got a job, as a waitress. It could help us,"

"That's great, honey. But ard you okay with it? I mean, you have other talents and I just don't want you to waste it," as usual, with her worried face.

"It's okay. It's only temporary. Then, I'll find a job that suits my forté okay? Just don't worry," I gave my assurance.

*3 months*

"Mom, look at this. Is it okay?" I showed my mom the picture that I had snapped that afternoon. It was a picture of a boy's reflection on water.

"It's marvellous. The lighting is okay and it's balanced. The water is calm which reflects the boy perfectly," My bedridden mother  answered honestly.

"Yeah..." I hesitated for awhile, but I thought that I should just spill the beans. "Mom, I wanna quit my job," 

"I'm fine with anything. What you wanna do next?" I heaved a sigh of relief

"There's a vacancy in one cosmetic company looking for a photographer. Maybe I could try that,"

"Yeah. It's in your blood you know. Your father used to show me his works. Back then there was nothing much technology, we can only zoom like 5 metres far. So, I kept telling him the same thing, it's nice, pretty. Stuffs like that. I'm sure that you'll do well,"

"So, you're okay with my decision?" I asked again for assurance.

"Pursue what you love, it'll be easier" 

After she said that, she closed her eyes. I take that she's sleeping. But I'm wrong. She left me. Forever.

Her words that I still hold until now. I felt ashamed and regret because I wasted a lot of moments, thinking that there would be thousands more.

Currently, I stood boldly in front of the bar. The reason why I chose a bar instead of the nightclub was, the bar seems less messy. And people in there is clothed. Its much safer, I thought. I also prepared a pepper spray, just in case any street thugs tried to disturb me. Oh yeah, a few punches and kicks too. Don't ever underestimate me, please.

This is Sabrina, who looked forward to do the weirdest things at the most weird time.

Since I'm not so familiar with the drinks, I ended up ordering the best drink they have. I looked around, there's not much people since its only 8. Probably, later people would start flooding. There's only one man who sat not far from me. He looked familiar but I could not recall who that guy is. My drink came and I finished it in one shot. 

Automatically, I sauntered towards that guy and I thought my eyes lied. It was him. The idol. The idol that girls been salivating for. He wad dead drunk by the empty glasses in front of him. I slung his arm around my neck and dragged him. He kept rephrasing the same thing all the way. 

"I'm just so sick of acting like I don't care,"

For once I thought the world was crumbling on me and only me. But now, it seems different. Behind every smile, there's always a tear or two.

A/N : Okay, I'm sorry for the late update. Will try to update frequently from now on. Love you~~