'B & S'

I stared at the ring for quite a long time. Hesitating whether I should put it on or not. Wearing it means that I still hold on to her, to us.

I missed her.

I missed us.

It would be a goddamn fat lie if I say I didn't. I kept on keeping things to myself again. Like I used to be before I met Sabrina. The quiet me, the lonely me. I was back to it.

The members knew, but like they always did, they let me have some of my own space, as if they ever talked to me, it would not bring me any change.

The dorm was so quiet as the other members were already dozing off, after having another hectic schedule. I just couldn't shut my eyes. As if it feels so wrong for me to sleep when my mind's a mess.

I ruffled my hair and heaved a sigh of frustration.

"Baekhyun ah, why are you not asleep yet? Aren't you tired?" A familiar voice passed through. I looked up and the said man took a seat beside me. I quickly hid the ring box.

"Mmm, I think I'll go to sleep now. Goodnight hyung," as I was about to get up, manager hyung stopped me.

"Wait, Baekhyun. Let's talk here for awhile. The other members are asleep, so no one's gonna disturb us," his tone was consistent. This man could be strict at times, but he does his job well. Plus, all of us already thought of him as our hyung.

"Mmm-yeah. What is it?" I scratched the back of my head. For him to start a sudden conversation with me, always had me nervous.

"Are you still mad at me because of what I said that day? You've been different since then. You started spacing out and I don't know. Become the person you were before,"

I smiled. Guess that everybody noticed that. "And how was I before?" I asked back.

"You were laughing and smiling when there's nothing to smile at. You're basically looked happy. And now you're not. Why?"

I brought out the ring box that I hid just now. Playing it between my fingers, I responded. "The same reason that made me happy, that's also why I'm like what you see now," I looked at him and observing his expression, he is clueless. I continued ,"Sabrina. My girlfriend. She's the one that made me smile. And now, she's the cause of why I'm sad. I bet you understand hyung. That feeling when you had lost the reason to be happy. It's not that I'm not happy for you guys, for EXO, for EXO-Ls. But she just compliments it. Of all the people out there, you understand our situation the most. How we couldn't lead a life like others. It frustrating, and it hit on my nerves sometimes. But when she came in the picture, she talked to me like I'm just a random person she met at the streets. Hell, she didn't even knew EXO before we got into NR,"

"So she's the girl photographer? Ahh, I've seen her. So, what's the problem?" He questioned. Ah, I haven't finished the story.

"I decided to break up. You know, when you told me so, and I go to meet her," still keeping my gaze on the ring, I answered.

It was quiet for a few seconds. Then hyung managed to say ,"Is it because I asked you to? I'm sorry, Baekhyun ah. You know how the situation was at time. I didn't think much and acted recklessly. I'm sorry,"

My heart warmed at his sincere apology. "No its not your fault hyung. At that time, I told you that I wouldn't leave her ever, even if anything happens. But when I got there, my emotions got the best of me and I said the things I dread the most. Come to think, I'm starting to regret at what I did, because I didn't get to hear any proper explanations from her. Its my fault,"

I gripped on the ring box harder, suppressing the tears that was about to roll off. Much to my surprise, manager hyung pat my back and said, "You know what, go to her,"

I looked at him blankly, while my eyes blinking in disbelieve.

"Wh-what?"

"You heard me. Go to her now. Fix what needs to be fix. Just be careful to not be seen. I'll be rooting for you guys,"

2 AM. I wonder what's her reaction would be. Confidently, I slid the ring on my ring finger before slowly twisting the door knob.

The living room was dark. Guess she's already asleep. The scent's still the same. Gosh, how I missed this place.

I creeped my way to her bedroom. Realizing her light was still on, I guess she's awake. I took a peek, her back faced the door. She was on the phone. That explains why she didn't hear me entering just now.

I decided to let her finish her phone call, before anything. Just then, I managed to listen to her conversation.

"I've done a little research but all of it said the same thing,"

"....."

"You think so? I guess I have trust the doctor then,"

"......"

I frowned at her sentence.

Doctor? What type of conversation is she having at 2 in the morning? 

That made me want to listen more.

"If the doctor said that is should be doing surgery, then I'm in no position to say no. Its for the best, I think,"

"......"

"Who else's consent do you need. I live alone. I have no other family. I'm the one has the tumor, so the only consent you need is mine,"

No. This is not happening.

I didn't listen on to the rest of the conversation as I barged into her room, scaring her.

"Baekhyun , is that you?" She take a step closer, abandoning the phone call.

"Tell me it's not true. Tell me you're just kidding," I said, trying to defy the truth.

"About what Baekhyun?" She tried to reach for my hand, but I avoid having any contact as the shock haven't washed off. How can she be so freaking calm?

"Th-the phonecall. That you're....." I couldn't finish my sentence as it was too poisonous. But then she took the pleasure of saying the truth.

"Yes Baekhyun. I'm diagnosed with brain tumor,"