At the early stage of the company blooming into a garden of cosmetic industry, we as ambassador would have lots of photoshoots. For promotions, gigantic billboards, magazine covers or whatever it has to do. I, of course didn't really fancy all of these, but having a photoshoot with then same team in Nature Republic sort of make me.....calm. Because, their team don't exactly treat us like idols even they surely know we are. We can talk freely with the staffs, and they would not overreact, or ask to take pictures. It's quite amazing, really.

Especially that girl photographer, Sabrina that I've been eyeing . But I certainly don't know the exact reason why I thanked her. Oh, whatever. 

We've had another session today but it ended early because we only had individual shots or other photography terms that I don't bother to understand. And again, I stepped boldly towards her and said the same thing. Well, I got to see her smile. It felt good. It felt really good.

We reached the dorm by evening. I was elated to know that we had no other schedules that night. Well, its good for all of us since we look like zombies, but we're not. I can see Suho hyung was dead tired from all the hustle. Chanyeol, who's the brightest among us, looks like he can't even open his eyes. The others as well. I am too, but I just wanna have a long hot shower before to dreamland. The hot liquid poured over and I stood for a fair long time. After like 25 minutes, I decided to go out before my skin looks like a 100 years granny.

Before dozing off, I just want to know about tomorrow plans' which I have to prepare myself. Physically and mentally. 

"Hyung, what do we have tomorrow?" I asked Suho hyung with half closed eyelids.

"Huh? A talkshow," he answered with the sleepy voice.

Great. Another camera to lie. Prepare your mental Baekhyun.

We had our daily practice until 5 evening or so. I can tell that my brothers were working so hard that they didn't even have the heart to really say they're tired. After simple showers, we took of to the location where I'm supposed to lie. Okay, no, talkshow. 

Usual process, briefings, makeup, bla, bla, bla. Doom, we're on air.

"Welcome to Get Close-Up show where your famous artists pour their confessions, secret and guilty pleasures that you've been dying to know,"

Or they've been nosing around about.

"So, Suho. The guardian angel, that's what they've been calling you. It must been pretty hard to control these boys right? And, you must have personal breakdowns as well. How really do you take care of your own emotions?"

Suho hyung took a deep breathe. It's been hard for him, we can tell. He's basically our parents, our strength. He was used to ignore his own feelings just to tend us. And to share it publicly was not something easy. 

"Well, to put in words, it's challenging. To take care of 5 other boys and them being boys, yeah. But, they really do listen to me when I'm serious and play when I'm not. I can't scold them like everytime because it's been a lot for us to go through. So, I'll just let them be themselves for awhile. As for my own feelings, I would rather not talk about it, only because I don't want them to feel burdened. I love my members just like my own brothers. We're literally a family, supporting each other," I just know that he meant ever word he said.

"You really  are their guardian. So, boys, please listen to your hyung okay?" The host cheer up the surrounding. 

"So, next. Kai, you must be the most hardworking one. Because you're the main dancer. And I think everyone wants to know you're guilty pleasure besides than dancing?" 

Kai with his useless smirk, as Sehun would say just gave his innocent boy look. There's no need for him to think much because even 5 of us knows what his answer gonna be.

"I don't think I'm the most hardworking, just because I'm the main dancer. We all have roles to ourselves. Like D.O hyung, Suho hyung and Baekhyun hyung, their the vocal-line. Sehun does both rap and dancing. Chanyeol hyung is great in rapping. So, we complete each other," 

"Dancing, you can say its my passion. I don't have anything else I'm good in, so yeah. I don't mind actually, because you can never get bored by doing what you love," 

The air was dead for awhile. Until the host continued. "Such an idol like answer. Now I think most of you is excited with this one. So, Byun Baekhyun. I've heard you're famous among the girls right?" 

And that sentence made the crowd go wild. I can only blush at his statement. 

"It must be a privilege to have any girl you want. Since, you know you have the looks, money and fame. What it's like being famous?" 

I hated this type of question. It traps me. Obviously, I can't tell the truth. I can't tell them that it being in this show business somehow. It when I can't have the freedom like everybody else. Yet, he said to me, how lucky I am to love anybody I want. Wait, cross that. He didn't say love, he said have anybody I want. Pathetic. 

"Yeah, I'm honored to be in such position. Thank God, I've been here. Thanks to your support and my members," That was all I could answer. Afterwards, I just couldn't process what Mr. Host said about how short my answer is, and everything. I sank into my own pool of thoughts and I've drowned. Deep.

Drinking was supposed to make you forget your problems. In my case, when I drink, problems kept haunting me. Well, nonetheless, I kept drinking. Shots, after shots, it doesn't help. I only felt numb. Numb as I tried to fight the pain in myself. The pain is in myself. In me. How would I kill the pain that's in my own self, I wonder?

A/N : Kai, you can kill people with your smirk. Okay, peeps. School is haunting and I kept running away until I've met a dead end. So, bear with me okay? Please subscribe and leave comments. I would like to know what you think of my story. See ya next week! 안녕~~