~*Your/Hye Ri's POV*~

I woke up, groggy, squinting my eyes at the sun that was flooding in through my drawn blinds.

What time is it?

With one eye opened, I rolled over onto my stomach to check the alarm clock on my bedside table.

'10:46' The numbers on the digital face blinked proudly at me.

My eyes bugged, surprised that I had slept through the morning... surprised that I had slept at all. It felt good being fully rested; the newfound energy pumping through my veins put me in a pleasant mood and I felt slightly normal again. It was a good start to the day; maybe things were finally going to get better.

Beside my alarm clock, I spied a neon pink sticky note; it was so flamboyant and bright, I couldn't wrap my head around why I didn't spot it earlier. I reached for the paper with my closest hand, stretching until I could pinch it between my fingers. I gave a slight yank and the note came loose, allowing me to withdraw my hand, bringing the note with it. I brought the slip close to my nose, blinking continuously to wet my dry eyes so that I could read what the paper had to say.

I'm going now... I hope you slept well.
Sungyeol Hyung told me he will be dropping by around noon.
Take care of yourself and call me if anything happens.
-L.Joe

He actually stayed..?

My heart warmed at the prospect and a grin took over my features.

That must be why I had such a good sleep.

With a smile lingering on my lips, I quickly read over the message again, imagining L.Joe struggling to fit his words on the tiny paper. It was enough to bring up my spirits and make my day.

That guy. And he said that he wasn't good at things that concern 'feelings' and bringing people up. Psh. Such a liar.

Giggling, with a shake of my head, I sat up and stretched my arms enthusiastically, eager to find what was in store for me. All of my happy emotions that I thought had abandoned me for good were slowly creeping back, peeking out from their hiding spots.

With a content sigh, I threw my legs over the side of the bed, pulling my hair up into a messy bun before I stumbled into the kitchen to find something to eat for breakfa- well, brunch.

I settled for instant noodles and busied myself with making the dish absolutely perfect to kill time until Sungyeol came. Being instant noodles, I couldn't stall for much time cooking them without burning something down, so I finished up with the stove and brought my ramen with me to the living room. I dropped myself onto the couch and the tv, flipping to a random channel.

Realizing how ordinary my routine was, and realizing how odd it was that I was pleased that my routine was ordinary, a smile stretched onto my face. Thing were looking up; I began wholeheartedly watching the drama that flashed on the tv screen.

I became so engrossed with the show, -every now and then I would yell at the characters even though they'd never hear me and occasionally, they drove me to the brink of insanity, making me want to murder them all,- that I didn't even realize how much time had passed. Before I knew it, an hour had passed. My doorbell was ringing, but I was too absorbed into the drama to notice. Once. Twice. It was at about the third ring when I finally realized it was about noon and that someone was at the door.

"Coming!" I painfully drew my eyes from the running drama, shuffling over to open the door. I threw open the lock, expecting to find Sungyeol's smiling face on the other side, but there was no one there. I cocked my head to the side, furrowing my eyebrows together, I was certain I had heard the bell ringing, I shrugged it off and turned to head back inside when I spotted a package that was left behind on the doorstep. I stooped down to pick up the envelope, turning it in my hands in curiosity as I brought it inside.

The envelope's white face was blank, unmarked; the sender hadn't remembered to write the recipient's name, or they purposely left it out. I bit my lip as I held it in my hand, contemplating whether or not to open it. 

It doesn't say that it's for me... but then again it doesn't say that it's not for me.

With a frustrated sigh, I tossed the unopened envelope onto the coffee table, deciding not to peek at the contents. I turned my attention back to the tv, attempting to take my mind off of the white package, but I couldn't keep my gaze away from where it was sitting, untouched. I pressed my lips in a firm line, willing myself to look foreward at the tv screen and not letting it stray. It was difficult... and so tempting to take a peek. My curiosity got the best of me. With a huff, I gave up on holding myself back and pounced for the envelope.

To be honest, my self-restraint was never really that great; I always gave in to my desire.

It must be for me, or at least related to me somehow. It was left on my porch...

I eagerly tore open the envelope and fished out a letter. 

Hye Ri-yah.

Finding my name scrawled at the top of the paper, I was reassured that the letter was for me. Relief washed over me, I was glad that I hadn't opened something that was meant for someone else. Taking my name as a green light, I read on.

It's you Choding Oppa. :)

Sungyeollie Oppa? But I thought he was supposed to...  

Are you surprised that you're getting this old-style letter from me rather than me being there? 

My mouth dropped, shocked that he was so good at predicting my emotions. I glanced around suspiciously, half expecting to find Sungyeol hiding in a corner somewhere, waiting to jump out and scare me.

How are you doing? You're feeling better from yesterday, right? I hope so. To be honest,

there's something that I have to tell you, but... it's hard saying it out loud without

embarrassing myself so I chickened out and wrote this instead. 

I cocked my head to the side, the curiosity growing in the pit of my stomach. 

Why can't he speak to me face to face? It's not serious is it..?

Don't be too upset that you don't get to see this handsome devil~ ;P 

I stifled a giggle, rolling my eyes playfully at my oppa's childishness.

Silly Choding Oppa. If he keeps joking like that, I'll be convinced that this 'special thing' he has to tell me is something silly. Knowing him, it probably is something like, 'Hi, my girl dongsaeng!~ Look behind you!' and then he'd appear out of nowhere, just like that.

I shook my head, playing out the scene, imagining exactly how everything would play out. 

Okay, I'll cut to the chase. No more beating around the bush with my jokes.

Here I go... whew. I'm nervous...

Hye Ri-yah.

I love you. 

...What?!

My eyes widened and I quickly read over Sungyeol's words, making sure that I'd read it right the first time. 

Surprised, right? But don't worry about feeling pressured to return my feelings. Ever since

the very beginning, I knew I was never a competitor for your heart. Even though I made

sure that knowledge was engraved in my brain, even though I did all I could to see you only

as a dongsaeng, I couldn't stop myself from falling for your charms. In a way, I guess I was

digging my own grave. I know that you'll always only see me as a brother, yet I always

secretly wish you would see me differently. 

Oppa...

I frowned, my own heart aching for Sungyeol's hurting heart. 

Gah. I'm rambling. It's cheesy but I can just go on and on talking about *cough* you *cough*

*cough.* But you're probably feeling a bit awkward right now so I'll stop. :P You're wondering

why I decided to tell you about my feelings now, right? 

Bingo.

Well, to be honest, I'm not exactly sure what drove me to tell. I guess it's for my own selfish

reasons. I didn't want to keep my feelings all to myself for the rest of my life. I at least wanted

to be able to let you know; it feels good to be able to get this off my chest. Thank you, Hye Ri-yah.

For listening to my confession and for being... well being you. You're special. Don't let anyone tell

you differently. 

Hugs and kissessss~

Your Choding Oppa <3

He makes it sound as if I won't be able to see him anymore... like he's leaving...

Sungyeol's letter reminded me of one that I had received a while ago. I couldn't shake the deja vu feeling that washed over me, as if the same thing had happened before. The letter, it reminded me of L's letter. I'm sure of it now. It's a dead ringer to L's. The one he wrote-

Before he left.

My eyes bulged from their sockets and my breath caught in my throat. I became frantic as I searched the living room for my cell phone.

No. No way. Sungyeol Oppa wouldn't. My Choding Oppa wouldn't. He wouldn't. There's no way.

I hastily dialed his number, praying to the heavens that he would pick up, begging for him to pick up. With each ring, my heart pumped a little faster. A little faster. By the time my ears picked up the operator's droning voice, my heart was throbbing in my chest so much that it hurt. I called him a couple times after the first try, meeting disappointment after each unsuccessful call.

Tears were threatening to spill over from my eyes, yet I still refused to believe my suspicions. I grabbed a heavy jacket that was lying around and flew out the door.

Please, Oppa. I'm begging you.

--------------------------------------------------

By the time I reached Infinite's dorm, my body was soaked throughout. My clothing clung to my skin and I was shivering. The morning's pleasant weather had quickly changed 'til everything was dismal, dull, dreary, and wet, mirroring my emotions.

My balled fists forcefully knocked on the door, calling for that one person to open the door.

"Hye Ri-yah!" A shocked voice gasped, but it wasn't his. "You're soaking wet! Hurry inside!" Sungjong wrapped his arms around my shivering figure, ushering me inside the warm living room. The instant I stepped inside, my eyes scanned the place from top to bottom, searching for that person's lanky figure, his goofy smile. I began hyperventilating when I couldn't spot him. Where could he be? I lost my footing and ended up on the floor. "Hyungs! Help! Something's wrong with Hye Ri!" Sungjong cried out, kneeling beside me. Instantly, I was surrounded by worried faces. I searched each one, yet couldn't find the one I was searching for.

"Hye Ri! What's wrong?"

"Hye Ri!"

"She's freezing."

"What were you doing, running in the rain?"

"She needs a change of clothes."

The Infinite boys were worrying, fretting over my health, yet that wasn't my priority at the moment. I needed to find him. "Wh-wh-where's S-Sungy-eol O-ppa." I managed to get out between breaths. Instantly, the boys became quiet, giving each other worried glances. "O-ppas!" My voice went up a pitch higher as I began to panic.

With a soft sigh and sorrow etched into each of their features, Sunggyu spoke for the group. "Sungyeol left, Hye Ri-yah." His voice was soft, barely audible, yet I couldn't have heard it any louder, any clearer.

"No way. No way. He wouldn't." I muttered, finally letting my tears fall. "Why did you let him leave, Oppas!" I buried my face into Sungjong and bawled.

Am I not allowed to be happy? Why is it that when L comes back, Sungyeol has to go? Why is it that when I thought things were finally looking up, that things were finally going to get better, that everything just tumbles downhill again?

Am I cursed?

Is it because life was too good before that I'm being punished now?

What did I ever do wrong?