Somehow, I had found just enough energy to pick myself up and throw myself down into the corner of the room. Huddled there with the lights out, a mess spread out on the floor in front of me, I rocked myself back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, in a rhythm. I was mumbling to myself yet again, not to quench the loneliness but to reassure that none of this was happening. It was all fake, just another nightmare that I would wake up from any minute now.

Scattered somewhere in the mess, my phone was vibrating nonstop, signaling that calls and messages were coming in, but I simply stayed put and stared blankly at the blue screen of the device, watching it blink without making an attempt to reach for it. I was afraid, afraid that it was the hospital calling, trying to brainwash me and convince me that my parents were gone.

They're not gone.

They're still on their business trip. They're working hard so you can be proud of them. They're busy so they can't come home just yet, but they'll be home before you know it, Hye Ri-yah. Just a bit longer. Just wait a bit longer. Umma and Appa will be home soon. They aren't gone. They're just not here yet.

I spent a while trying to erase all thoughts of the hospital from my mind. After some time, I thought that I had finally succeeded, but I don't know if the aftermath was any better. The thoughts of the hospital did disappear but instead, the scene involving L and Sumi replaced it, replaying over and over again in my brain.

Is that what he counts as a 'real kiss?'

I laughed a short humorless laugh as the image kept looping in my brain. It wouldn't go away no matter how hard I tried to block it out.

Stop... please. Just get out of my head... stop torturing me. I already saw it. I don't want to keep reliving it. Yeah you got me. It's painful. So please. Just stop...

I held onto my head, shaking, as I attempted to expell the image, silent tears trailing down my face.

Thankfully, it was as if someone was finally pitying me for the first time.

I was awarded with the gift of having a blank mind, allowing me to space out for moments on end, eyes fixated on nothing, thinking of nothing. Being in that state, it took me a while before I finally realized that my doorbell had been ringing. I'm not really sure how long it had been before I noticed either. I shifted my gaze to the door, contemplating if it would be worth moving to get it. It seemed like an impossible task for me to take the neccessary steps to get there and that was before I had to waste energy opening the contraption.

Deciding it wouldn't be, I laid my head back and rested it against the wall, closing my eyes while waiting for my 'visitor' to give up on me opening the door and leave.

One minute... two... three...

My eyebrows knit together as I opened my eyes to stare, slightly baffled, at the door. The person on the other side still hadn't left yet. In fact, they had persisted to banging on the door and making a ruckus in order to get my attention. A masculine voice that I'm guessing belonged to my 'visitor' was continually yelling for me, calling my name. "Hye Ri-yah! I know you're there! Hye Ri!"

Realizing that my guest had no intention of leaving, I shakily heaved myself up to my feet, taking more than just a few tries before being able to stand upright. Even after I had gotten up, I was stumbling rather than walking to the front door, holding onto whatever I could for support. It felt as if ages had passed before I successfully navigated my way through the mess on the floor and made it to my destination.

Worn out from the minimal amount of movement, I leaned against the door for a few moments in an attempt to replenish some of my energy. I hadn't cared to lock the door when I had returned home earlier so all I had to do was simply put all my strength into yanking the thing open.

"Hey! Why wouldn't you-" He cut himself off, taking in my pitiful state. "What happened? Who did this to you?" He exploded, his eyes bulging.

L.Joe Oppa... I... don't think...no. I definitely can't tell you... I know that you have a right to know, it's just... it's me being selfish again. It seems like I keep on becoming more and more selfish around you... Mianhae. But if I tell you, you'll be in same position as me. I wouldn't be able to handle seeing you like that. I don't want to see you hurting... it's best if I just hurt by myself. Just stay ignorant to it all Oppa. The pain... it's just unbearable. Don't go through it Oppa. I don't want you to go through it.

I tried my best at cracking a smile, letting out an airy laugh. "Wh-what are you talking about Oppa? No one did anything! I'm perfectly fine. Don't worry about me." After putting some thought into it, I decided to put on a tough act for the sake of the pink haired boy in front of me, not wanting him to worry, not wanting him to know about the situation.

I'm sorry L.Joe Oppa.

"So Oppa? What's up? Is there a special reason why you're here? Did I forget your birthday or something?" I made an attempt at joking, my face contorted into what was supposed to be a smile but looking at L.Joe's expression I guess that I failed miserably.

He frowned. "Hye Ri... stop acting. Tell me what's wrong. Please."

"What are you saying Oppa? There's nothing wrong. I have no reason to be acting! I told you that already! Why won't you believe me?" I argued, wanting to convince him quickly. Everything was hurting. Just standing there was taking its toll on me and I just wanted to sink down onto my knees but I have to stay strong. At least for one person, I'll stand strong to protect them. I won't simply be protected by everyone else any longer.

L.Joe shook his head, not believing a word that was coming out of my mouth. "Let me come in and tell me what's bothering you." He began advancing towards me, aiming to get inside.

"No Oppa!" I panicked, barricading the door, not wanting him to see the mess inside. I was desperately trying to convince him that there was nothing out of place, nothing bothering me in the least, but how do I get him to believe me? Racking my brain, I came up with the best solution that I could come up with at the moment. "Wait there. I'm going to change and come out." I shut the door quickly, preventing him from protesting while at the same time making sure that he wouldn't be able to slip in. I felt guilty, knowing that he would get cold out there but I reasoned that it was better than him seeing the mess inside and somehow finding the truth.

With the guilt hanging heavy on my shoulders, newfound energy and adrenaline began pumping through my veins. Determined to save L.Joe from the cold and from the bigger problem of realization, I wobbled to my room as quickly as I could, changing into warm clothes before heading back out to the living. As I slipped on my fuzzy boots, my gaze lingered on the pile of gifts that had been left untouched by my earlier wrath. My gaze softened as I stared at the presents, thinking about how much thought I had put into finding the perfect gift for each of those special people in my heart. I gathered all of the wrapped gifts up and divided them into large bags before heading out where L.Joe awaited me.

As I stepped outside, I was greeted by a cold waft of air, causing me to shiver and slightly stagger. I closed my eyes when I felt a pair of strong arms grasped my shoulders, steadying me. I slightly squinted, locking gazes with a worried L.Joe. "Are you okay? What happened?" He interrogated.

"I'm fine Oppa. Thanks for worrying about me." I replied softly. It was obvious that he still wasn't satisfied since his brows were still pinched together, but thankfully he dropped the matter. At least for the moment. His attention shifted to the load that I was carrying in my hands as if my life depended on it.

"What's that?" He asked with a raised brow.

"Secret." I put a finger to my lips with a wink. "Let's go Oppa." For the first time, I initiated the skinship and took his hand in mine, keeping him in a tight grip while pulling him along with me. Without realizing it, a smile had gradually appeared on my lips.