Chapter 23: Those 4-words

It has been days since I talked to JYP and definitely, I can say that he is very much disappointed with Mark and I. He hasn’t been talking to me since then while me, I’m doing my very best to ask his forgiveness.

I’m shy.

Kai has announced the media that literally there’s nothing between the two of us, that we became friends because of EXO Showtime and as well as because of Chanyeol. But fans never believed him. The fans started to give me death statements not only in IG but also in twitter. I decided to put all my accounts into private. I’m sorry but I have to do this.

I never thought their fans will be like this. I mean, I am not dating Kai. Yes, I broke up with Mark but that doesn’t mean I’m already dating someone else. If I’ll be dating again, I’ll think I’ll wait for the right time when all the pain and wounds are healed. But right now, it’s not yet.

Here we go again, aish. I hate myself for talking a lot about my past. How can I move on if I continue to live in the past? No. I won’t be able to move on with that. I have to forget the past.

I have to forget Mark.

“Rhianne!” our dance instructor shouted. “Are you even listening?”

Oh yeah, I’m having our training today.

I looked at her. “Yes. I’m listening.” I said. Then I lowered my head down. I’m not listening, sorry.

Bambam who was beside me tapped me a little. “You sure you’re fine noona?” he asked. I smiled and nodded at him then I started to look at the dance instructor again while she was lecturing some stuffs.

Suddenly, I saw Mark looked at me. I just smiled at him and looked back.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mark’s POV

Rhianne hasn’t been with herself these past few days. I can see in her eyes that she hasn’t even gotten a nice sleep. I wonder if she’s still crying every night. Is it still because of me? But recently, she’s been with JB. She should be happy with JB.

I looked at her and saw a very weak Rhianne. You shouldn’t be like this Rhianne. You should be happy, because me, I’m trying to be happy, with Jessica. And you should be too, with JB.

“Okay.” our instructor said. “We’re going to have dance battle.”

Dance battle?

Why did we have a dance battle all of a sudden? Our instructor picked some names to be grouped. And at the end, I was grouped with Nickhun sunbae and Suzy. Rhianne was grouped with Bambam and Wooyoung sunbae.

Our dance instructor chose who will have a battle and the first battle was within my group and Rhianne’s group. It’s going to be a freestyle dancing so everyone here has no practice.

I’m paired with Wooyoung sunbae. Bambam was paired with Nickhun sunbae. And Rhianne was paired with Suzy. They started to face each other. Then the music played and Wooyoung sunbae and I started to dance.

If the music changed, it means the next pair will be the one dancing.

Cheers from the crowd can be heard.

We continued to dance until the music changed and now it’s Bambam’s turn. The two Thai people are competing with each other and it’s great to see how Bambam improved a lot but still due to Nickhun sunbae’s body, Bambam is barely noticed.

Then now, it’s Rhianne’s and Suzy’s time. The music played and the song was ‘Pretty Girl Rock’. I was staring at Suzy as she dances. She really dances gracefully but then I heard some screams when Rhianne started dancing.

And I was shocked. When did she learn how to dance that good?

She was looking straight at the mirror with a fierce face. Sometimes, her hair was covering her face but still she managed to dance well. I looked at Wooyoung sunbae and he acted like he was dying when Rhianne made that hip .

I never thought Rhianne knows how to dance gracefully. I guess, she’ll win in this battle.

After all the performances, our dance instructor clapped her hands. “Everybody did a good job. Now, it’s time to say who the winner is. And the winner will have a special prize. You can share it if you want.”

“Hyung!” Bambam shouted to Nickhun sunbae. “Treat me!”

Then everybody laughed.

I stared at Rhianne. She laughed a bit but I can see in her eyes that it’s somehow forced.

Please be happy, Rhianne.

Suddenly, I felt someone tapped my back. I saw it was Taecyeon sunbae. He just smiled at me and shook his head. I wonder if he has something to say.

Our instructor started to announce the winner and as expected, our hyungs win over us. But then, in Rhianne’s and Suzy’s situation, Rhianne won. They hugged each other. The hyungs started to ask for their prizes. Almost all of them asked for foods. How about Rhianne, what is she going to ask?

“Ticket” she said.

Ticket? For what?

“Ticket for an amusement park.” she said. Then smiled.

I wonder why she’ll go to the amusement park, alone.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rhianne’s POV

“Ticket” I said. “Ticket for an amusement park” For one last time, I want to go to the amusement park and be with my own.

“Oh?” our instructor said. “Then who are you taking with?”

I shook my head, “I want to be alone.” Then I smiled at them. I saw JB smiled at me and I smiled back at him.

“Okay.” our instructor said then I sat down beside Yerin. She hugged me a bit.

Right now, for one last time, I want to remember everything and after that, I’ll not cry anymore. I’ll not long for the past anymore. I’ll continue to move forward and forget everything, like everything.

After a few hours, I received my prize for today’s activity and I guess, I’ll be going there today. “Here’s your prize.” my instructor said to me as she gives the ticket. “Hope you’ll enjoy.”

I smiled a bit at her as I took my ticket. I was about to go when she said something, “Smile. Be happy.” I smiled at her and started moving. I don’t want to get into traffic.

I was about to go out when JB called me. “Rhianne.” he said. Then I looked at him.

He took my hand and gave me a camera. “What’s this for?” I asked him.

He smiled at me, “Take some good pictures, the happy moments.” he said. I smiled a bit to him. “Because we may not know if that moment can be captured again. Enjoy your date with yourself.”

And by that moment, I wanted to cry but instead I just hugged JB. “Thank you.” that’s all I can say.

He tapped my back. “Well you should be going now”

I guess I should be.

I went outside and entered the van so I can immediately go to the amusement park Mark and I last went to, when we were still fine, when there was still an ‘us’ in us.

After minutes of travel, I have arrived there. When I gave my ticket to the guard, he smiled at me. “You’re 15& Rhianne, right? My daughter likes you so much.” he said.

Then I smiled at him, “Please tell your daughter how grateful I Am.” then I bowed down a bit to him.

“Uhm, can I have your autograph?” he said. “My daughter’s birthday is in a few days.”

I nodded. He gave me a pen and a piece of paper. “What’s your daughter’s name?” I asked him.

“Nana” he said.

I smiled at him and left a note.

Dear Nana,

I heard that your birthday is near and I want to greet you a ‘Happy Birthday’. Hope you’re doing well in school because your father is really working hard. Again, Happy Birthday.

Love,

Rhianne

Then I gave him the note. He bowed down to me and I smiled at him.

When I entered the amusement park, I immediately saw the first ride Mark and I went to, the one that flies. At first, I took a picture of it and wrote something on the notebook. Remember the notebook I bought? I am writing our story there. I know it wasn’t a happy ending but I guess, a great story isn’t about happy ending. It is how we learn things even if it’s hard for us to accept the reality.

Flying, sometimes we feel afraid of it. We’re afraid to soar high and reach everything we want to have. But actually, we are not afraid of flying. We are afraid of falling and see that no one will catch us as we fall. But God will never give us things that we can’t do. It’s either he’ll put a foam on the floor or give us wings so we can fly.

I immediately rode that ride and closed my eyes. I am here because I want to fly. I’m not here to fall, I’ll fly.

After that ride, a lot of people have noticed me a