THE PICTURE

Kris figured it was best not to call Alex that afternoon. She may have been talking about the wedding with her soon-to-be-husband. He went straight to his condo after his pre-recorded performance in a Tuesday music show. He already locked the car when he remembered the box that Chesca gave him. 

Each tape was labeled with a number and a date. Kris picked the case that has the number 1 on it and the dates 11/06/09. He put the disk on the DVD drive of his laptop then hit play.

Alex's face appeared on his screen. She's wearing a headband and she looks flushed. This was 21 year-old Alex; with rosy and chubbier cheeks. He heard Chesca's voice out of no where; she might have been the one taking the video. "​What would you do when you finally meet Kris Wu Fan?"

"Uhm, oh my God! I don’t know! Maybe I’d run into him and hug him and tell him he’s so handsome and I love all his songs and…Oh my God, I’m going to get crazy and he’ll get scared because I’m being such a freak and then I’ll ask for a picture…!"
 
The tape continued on with the same questions being asked at Alex over again.  Chesca must have recorded it at different dates because every take shows Alex wearing different clothes. ​"What would you do when you finally meet Kris Wu Fan?"

"Okay, I will try to calm myself. I’d approach him in a nice way and I will smile at him. And when I greet him, he’d smile back at me and I’d tell him how awesome he is plus his beautiful voice and we’d shake hands and take pictures and…before I go, I’d bow to him again and when I’m already out of his sight…oh my God, I’d scream yeah! I met Kris Wu Fan! I’m so happy!"
 
"​What would you do when you finally meet Kris Wu Fan?"

"Maybe I’d just stay rooted on the spot because he’s so good-looking and maybe I wouldn’t be able to move because I’m completely star struck and speechless. And when he’s no longer in front of me, I’d regret it because I didn’t say a single word and he didn’t know how much I love him and his songs."

It was like Kris was supposed to be shocked but he wasn't. He was more of touched, seeing and hearing all of it. She's my fan, he kept repeating to himself while watching the videos. He never expected the CDs to be video recordings of Alex. Watching them only made it worse for him because he falls deeper in love with her in every tape. He would've gotten his phone and gave Alex a call right away but Chesca's words stopped him. 'Please don't tell Alex I gave you these. Return it to me once you've finished. It's a top secret. I just thought that maybe you should know.'

Why would Chesca say those things? What even made her to think that Kris needs to see these tapes? Kris picked the CD from the furthest right side of the box. 

In his screen, Alex was sitting on the couch in her apartment. She looks thinner and there were plastic bags on the floor and a bowl of oatmeal on the table. This must be the most recent tape. 

Kris heard Chesca nagging Alex to answer her question about when and where she met him. Alex was being a kill-joy at first, trying to push the camera away. For a while she seemed to think the whole recording was nonsense and Chesca kept telling her they need to do it. Until finally Alex gave up and just answered the question. "I met Kris at the airport last October 1st. He accidentally bumped me because he was running and the things I was holding fell and he picked it up for me and apologized." Alex paused for a moment and continued, "He's really good-looking. I remember how my heart seemed to stop that time. I just...I was...completely out of words and...I-"

"Don't stop the spazz now," Chesca warned. Kris can't help himself from anticipating what Alex's next words are going to be. Seeing Alex there on his screen and by simply watching her actions, he knows that she's somewhat nervous or afraid of what she had to say next.

"He's really nice. He treats me like I'm someone special. Like I'm the only person worth spending his time with. Like the fact that he becomes this very approachable guy when I never expected him to. I thought he was self-centered and insensitive and annoying and cold and bossy but he's not any of those and I've come to like the real him. The real him that loves his family and cares about his friends. Sometimes I feel like he really is my boyfriend and I really am his girlfriend. Sometimes it feels like I'm not engaged at all. And many times I don't see it to be wrong."

She feels that way? Kris can't explain how he's feeling. It's like he's slowly tearing apart and also like he's recovering from broken pieces. Chesca stopped recording from there and Kris was left wondering what happened after Alex said those words. Did she cry? Was she hurting? Was she certain? Was she confused? Kris realized he doesn't wish to see Alex go through that strange roller coaster ride of emotions. 

But still! Alex said that she felt the boyfriend-girlfriend thing real! Kris doesn't know what to make of that. 

He took his phone out, searched for Alex's contact and stared at the numbers until he retreated. He can't call her. She's engaged for God's sake. Her finance's with her.  

Kris couldn't sleep. There were lots of questions in his head. Yes, he's in love with Alex. Yes, he wishes they could end up together instead of her and Clint. Yes, he would want to go to her apartment at this time of the night and talk to her and tell her whatever there is to say. But out of all these thoughts, the greatest that Kris wants is only for Alex to be happy. Whatever the right definition of happy is. Even if that leaves him feeling the opposite. Seeing Alex smile is almost the same as allowing himself another breath; he would do anything to have it.

The next time Kris went to Alex's apartment, Chesca was there again. Kris thanked her and gave back the box of CDs without letting her know his feelings about it. He didn't ask his questions, and Chesca didn't say her reasons. 

He didn't need to ask. Chesca told him that Alex went to Ahyeongdong Street. It's where couples buy their wedding gowns. He also didn't care whether Clint's going to be with her or not. Kris just wants to see her today. 

Kris drove to Ahyeongdong and located the shop that Chesca told him. Alex's silver BMW was parked just outside. He got out of his car and with gong ringing in his heart, he slowly walked inside.

Alex was in the fitting room. Clint didn't accompany her to the gown shop because according to him, he prefers to see Alex wearing the gown on the day of their wedding. Suzy, the wedding gown designer and owner of the shop that Alex is currently in, allowed her to choose from her in-demand collection. Alex chose a backless gown that suits her perfectly. It's like the dress was made entirely for her.

The fitting room was large. It was even bigger than Alex's own bedroom in the apartment. Inside was a long Cleopatra chair, a white-painted cabinet, and a huge mirror. Alex examines herself in front of the mirror, looking from her hair to the end of the wedding gown. This version of her looks beautiful. Her hair dyed brown and curled at the edges, her back, collar bones and shoulders bare, and her hands clasped together. Each time she looks at the girl standing in front of her, she can almost feel herself wanting to smile but she couldn't. Alex stared right into her eyes and felt herself deceived. Mirrors only show the outside. 

Alex was thankful that Suzy gave her a private moment to decide for herself. Getting into a wedding gown shop and fitting dresses were ideas that appeal to her when she was a teenager. Her reflection shines before her, copying her every move. She tagged on the waist part of the dress and adjusted the straps. When she looked up to see her face again, she saw Kris standing behind her. 

'Kris.' Her voice almost betrayed her. She have missed him. Not getting her eyes off his image in the mirror, Kris slowly walked towards her.

'Wow. I'm starstruck.' Kris said, looking at the very sight of her. Standing beside her, he whispered, 'You look absolutely stunning.'

The compliments made her smile, for real this time. She looked up at him and said, 'Thank you. How did you know I'm here?'

Kris smiled too. 'Chesca told me.' 

Alex noticed he's avoiding her gaze by looking at her dress. Trying to make a joke out of it, she said, 'Don't worry, I'm sure you'll buy a much beautiful gown for your future bride.' She made him look at her by raising his chin up. She was right in her description of him on that post-it two months ago. Even his eyes look like a galaxy. 

'Are you happy?' Kris asked, losing a bit of his smile. 

Am I? Alex asked herself. Am I happy to know that you're here and I feel something special for you? Hiding her true feelings and choosing the right choice, she replied, 'I am. Why?'

Why is a difficult question to ask. It's the question that holds so much. Kris knew that too so he ignored it. 'Then I'm happy for you.' He took both of her hands in his. The touch made the two of them break inside. 

'You are? You don't look like it,' Alex commented. 

She was taken by surprise when Kris gave her a back hug, locking her in an embrace. She can feel Kris's clothed chest against her bare skin. She wanted so badly to get away from it before she lose herself. But Kris's voice sounded serene when he said, 'Can we stay like this for a while, please?'

Alex could've said no. She should say no. Without meaning to, she said, 'Okay. Not too tight though, you're ruining the dress.' She tried loosening his arm around her waist but Kris only hugged tighter. He obviously didn't care about the goddamn dress. Always stubborn.

Mirrors only show the outside. That instance, Alex looked back at the mirror and see Kris laying his head on her shoulder and his eyes closed. She doesn't like what she saw there. Right in front of her she can see a future with Kris. She can imagine the two of them laughing and talking in the bay. She can hear him singing from somewhere within her heart. She can feel happiness in that picture. 

But that picture can't be real. It can't. And the more that Alex tries to avoid it, the more it hunts her like a sweet escape. She can almost fall into the trap. The trap of just admitting to herself that she's in love with Yi Fan, nothing less and nothing more. She wondered if Kris can hear her thoughts that very moment. 

'I just wanted to see you. I better get going,' Kris let go off her and walked to the door. 

After thirty days, here they were, not knowing what words to say. Alex was fitting on her wedding gown, looking beautiful as ever. She'll get married in two weeks. Yi Fan promised that he'll come to the wedding. But Alex has the feeling that Yi Fan being here right now means something. He looked all but fine. 

When Yi Fan turned to leave, Alex couldn't help but call him back. 'Kris?' There was worry in her voice. The singer stopped walking but didn't face her. 'I'll see you at the wedding, right?' It was like telling the words to herself; wanting a little assurance. 

It took him long to response. When he did, Kris's voice almost cracked. 'I promised you I'll be there.' He cannot make himself imagine it. What would it feel like to watch the woman you love walking down the aisle and knowing that when she reached the altar you aren't the one she's going to say her vows to? Kris closed his eyes. In his mind he was always saying the same words every time Alex was near. I love you.

He waited for Alex to speak but he heard nothing. He wanted so bad to get back to her side and hugged her once more. But what Kris realized was...

No matter how tight his embrace to Alex was, he still has to let her go. And it'll hurt. He felt his knees weak. He was hoping Alex would call him back again when he leaves. But maybe just like him, she was choosing what's better for the both of them. To just pretend like thirty days didn't happen. Those thirty days...

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Last two chapters to go! Oh my God, I'm about to cry. I'm not ready to finish this fic yet! If only I can prolong it or make a sequel or something. Thank you guys for keeping up with this story. I hope you're enjoying every moment of it. Feel free to say whatever you want to say. Don't forget to upvote! :)