Pretend

30days with Yi Fan

PRETEND

Alex was in the living room, updating her planner. She's writing down the things that she would like to do in her long break. She cannot focus though. Since the other day she's been contacting Clint but he's not answering her calls. She also sent him around twenty plus messages and he also didn't reply to that. It's so not Clint. Alex is seriously worried. Strange, how their relationship is now starting to feel real distant. 

As if Clint can hear her thoughts, a message popped in to Alex's cell phone. It's from him. 'I'm fine, runway girl. Sorry I haven't been calling you lately. I'm busy preparing something. Please don't worry about me. I can't wait to see you next month! I miss you! I've read all your messages, I'm just really tired these past few days. Sorry. I love you! See you soon!'

Preparing something? Tired? That are his excuses? Alex can't believe it. Why was it hard for him to answer her calls or reply to her messages? It'll only use so little of his time! Alex read the message one more time, trying her best to understand Clint, but she failed. She put down the phone beside her and didn't dare send a reply. Maybe then Clint will understand how she feels. 

She gets back to the matter in hand. Buy a new curtain, re-stock the fridge, learn how to drive, see Chesca and Xiumin...

It was good that Kris isn't contacting her either. Maybe he's got the whole week for rehearsals and promotions. Or maybe he's with Lexy. Maybe they're back together and Alex and Kris no longer need to pretend. What would it be like to have Alex's old life back? The life without Kris, when she can go straight home from work or go shopping. Back when she wouldn't have to remove the ring on her finger every once in a while. She still hasn't googled herself on the internet. Maybe she'll include that in her planner. What does Kris's fans think of her? 

 


On the sixth day, Alex managed to do everything that she's written on her planner. She went to the mall and buy some new curtains and linens. She re-arranged the furnitures in the apartment. She went grocery shopping and refilled the refrigerator. She enrolled in a driving school and attended six sessions. The instructor advised that it would be better if she has her own car to practice some more, or she'll just forget the lessons and the money that she paid will just go to no use. That leaves Alex planning to buy a car. She has her savings in the bank but she never really prioritized buying a car. She thought of using it for traveling abroad. She always dreamt of going to the US and being able to tour around Europe. Every time she has modeling schedules outside Korea, she gets 2-3 days of work and only one day to roam around places. 

Alex surprised Xiumin in the coffee shop. He looked good in his barista uniform. Because his manager's strict, they didn't get a chance to talk that much. There were lots of customers and Xiumin's really busy. Alex spent the hours just watching him work and by the time she leaves, Xiumin told her sorry and invited her for jogging next month. 

That night Alex went to see Chesca. She's home alone and her parents were in a business meeting. They had their usual conversations. Chesca asked her how she's doing and Alex asked her friend about school. Alex didn't tell her about Clint. But she told her that he's coming to Seoul on the 27th.

That night it rained so hard. Alex used to love the rain when she was younger. She got out of Chesca's house and got wet under the rain. Chesca didn't join her. She keeps saying that Alex can get sick. But Alex felt good. During that moment, everything went back to Alex and she didn't mind. She let all the worries and pain wash through her body. She remembers it was raining during her parents' burial. She remembers moving into the City with Flix. She remembers that she cried when Clint proposed to her. She remembers Kris dragging her and shouting at her. She remembers Lexy's question to her in the hotel. The way she looked at her from head to toe when they drove her from the airport. She remembers Clint's message. Lots of things are changing. The rain continued to drop down to her face and suddenly she doesn't know whether it was the rain or her own tears falling. Chesca ran to her, shouting, 'Alex, enough!' and she pulled her inside, with waters spilling from her wet clothes and hair. Alex looked like a mess. 'What were you thinking!' Chesca continued to scold her. 'What's wrong? Tell me what's wrong, Alex.' But Alex remained quiet. 

The next day, Alex decided to stay at home. She wasn't feeling well. It's true that she had seven days off, but now she's thinking maybe she only tired herself by doing too many stuff and not spending it by taking lots of rest. She almost regret it. 

On the day back to work, Alex has to start working as early as four o'clock. She has five schedules for the whole day and Flix was getting mad because Alex was having a fever. She couldn't give the energy that Flix wanted from her. 'Alex, you still have four schedules after this. Do you really think you can make it?' 

She managed to. But at eight o'clock, Flix had to cancel her last photo-shoot because Alex looks really ill and her temperature's too high. She gave Alex some anti-pyretics and told her to go home and have lots of sleep. Maybe they can resume working after two days. Alex knew it was her own fault. She shouldn't have gone under the rain at Chesca's. 

When she got home, she drank some milk and got something to eat before heading to her room. While she was walking up the stairs, someone knocked and she had to go back down to open it. Maybe she forgot something in Flix's car. She was wrong.

Kris Wu Yi Fan was standing there, looking fresh and without even saying a word, he pulled Alex and made her sit down in his car. Alex can't find it in herself to defy him because she's really feeling weak. Once inside the car, Alex tried to speak. 'Listen, I need to go back and rest. I'm not feeling well.' She said hoarsely. It's already too late for dinner. Kris didn't give her attention and just continued driving. Alex still hasn't changed her clothes, it was the same thing she's wearing in her photo-shoot before going home: a skirt and a pull-over. 

'You can just sit if you're tired. I just want you to meet some people.' Kris said after hitting the breaks. Alex looked outside and saw where they are. A nightclub. Alex swears she wanted to curse the person beside her. When she told him that she's not feeling well, was he even listening? Kris opened the car door for her. She glared at him before going down. I hate you.

Alex has never been to a club before. The place was too crowded she can hardly breathe because of the smoke coming from people's cigarettes. Everywhere smells of alcohol and Alex feels like she's going to throw up any minute. Kris led the way to a table near the DJs and his friends were there, too happy to see him. 'Guys, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend. Alex, these are my friends. Luhan, Lay, Baekhyun...' He went on. Alex can't keep up with the names. In the end, Kris added, 'And of course you already know Kai and Sehun. And Lexy right there.'

Kai waved at Alex. And if she was feeling okay, she could've smiled back at him. All she needs to do now is go home. If Kris only wants her to meet his friends, she can go now. She felt Kris held her in the arm, instructing her to sit and Alex wanted so badly to slap him. Saying no word, she sat down beside the guy named Luhan. She can see Lexy talking with a guy from another table. The music was getting louder and Alex can't hear what everyone around her is saying. Luhan offered her a bottle of beer but she rejected him. She can play as the bad fake girlfriend tonight.

Alex closed her eyes, feeling dizzy. Her lungs can barely take the smell everywhere. There was too much smoke and even though everyone around her seems to be having fun, she felt like she didn't belong. Definitely not in a place like this. When she opened her eyes, Kris was nowhere in sight. His friends were on the floor, dancing with random women. Alex stood up, thinking that she can now go without Kris noticing. She doesn't know where the exit was. She pushed herself out, trying to walk through the crowd, and almost felt like she's about to faint when she finally got outside. She bent down and tried to stop her knees from slightly shaking. She can feel the headache throbbing in and a tear fell from her eyes. If only she can fly the way home. She tried to search her pockets for her phone but realized that she forgot to bring it with her. She looked at the time. 1:43 AM. She hasn't slept for 21hrs! She's been working since 4 in the morning. And now her temperature's getting worse, she can feel it.

Alex tried to keep herself together. Managing to use her remaining strength, she started walking to the streets, ready to take the cab. Even outside the club there were tons of people. She needs to pee. And going inside to search for the restroom was driving her crazy. She just needs to get out of here as soon as possible. After using the toilet, she saw Kris and Lexy on her way out. They were kissing. She felt her heart froze.

Alex didn't move. She didn't break anything. She doesn't know how Kris seemed to notice that someone was standing there watching them. And when he saw Alex, he immediately let go off Lexy and his face looked guilty. Alex ran away. 'Alex! Alex!' Kris shouted after her.

She's outside again and Kris's words stopped her. 'Alex! Don't pretend like you can't hear me!' 

She turned to face him, her face red and warm. 'Pretend? That's all that I have to do every time I'm with you, right? Pretend that everything's okay even when they're not! Pretend that it's okay for you to bring me here and make me meet your friends! Pretend that I'm your girlfriend! Pretend that I'm cool about all of this! It's all pretend!! Did you know that I was working my off since four this morning? Did you know that I had five schedules to do and that Flix had to cancel the last one because I was sick? Because I am god damn sick, Kris! I told you that before we leave but you acted as if you didn't hear me! Didn't you believe me? Did you think I was just making an excuse? Did you even touch me to know if I was telling the truth? If you did, you would've known that I was heating up and need a ing sleep! Did you know that my boyfriend isn't talking to me anymore? Or that whenever I call he's not answering? Why can't you just take me home when I ask you to! Why is that so hard for you to do!?' Alex didn't care even if her voice was loud yet breaking. She didn't care even if she have just said all the bad words at Kris. He needs to wake up once and for all!

Then, with her body giving up, Alex cried. With a heartfelt plea, she whispered, 'Just take me home, please.'

She hasn't heard Kris said anything. He helped her to the car and she almost felt drained. He  helped her put the seatbelt on and gave her his handkerchief to wipe the tears that are still falling from her eyes. At last, Alex felt the car moved and knew that this time, they were heading home.

'We're here.' Kris said after some time. Alex can feel him looking at her but she said nothing. She removed the seatbelt, got out and walked to her apartment without saying goodbye. When she closed the door behind her, she heard Kris's car retreating. She got down and hugged her knees. I hate you. I just really hate you.

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We're almost there! Thank you guys for keeping up with me. This story means a lot to me. I hope you are all loving it. Subscribe? And upvote? Kamsahamnida. 

I might not update for a few days. I have to finish some things for the weekends. But! Will you guys do me a favor? While waiting for an update, please read my other fanfic. It's called Empty Keys and it's completed. It's only a one-shot so you can finish it in no time. Just view it in my stories. Or you can copy this link  https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/549095/empty-keys-oneshot-exo-baekhyun-chanyeol-baekyeol-chanbaek. If you ship BaekYeol, you should check that out. And maybe you can tell me what you think about it? Thanks again! Saranghae! :)

 

 

 

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Karenchii
100+ subscribers??! Wow! Thank you to each and everyone who's reading this story! I promise to proof-read everything and edit (what needs to be edited) soon!

Comments

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checkmate-vinchi
#1
happy new year author-nim.
kriselynne
#2
Chapter 43: Merry Christmas and happy new year too for you dear. hope u have a wonderful one ♥
cessyness
#3
Chapter 40: I loved it!!! :)
kriselynne
#4
Chapter 42: I like ur story and enjoyed it so much.
sadly the story ended in here and I'm not willing it T____T
miyupu #5
Chapter 41: this is... awesome!!! i just finished reading all in one go.. and really this is one of the best fics i've ever read..
Please keep writing more amazing story :3
rainn_ #6
Chapter 41: This is such an amazing story. Haha. Yi Fan is so sweet here. // SPAZZ. Tbh, at the last chapter when she mentioned that she will be seeing him again and that yuri came walking in and introducing her as his wife, my heart did stop for a minute and my eyes starts to get wet, cos for an instance I thought that guy was kris and that he didn't wait for her. But THANK GOD, it was Clint HAHA. I was soooooo relieved when I realised it was Clint and not kris. I had a wonderful time readying this story and I'm so glad kris ended up with her if not i can't take it; visualizing his hurt and sad smile while he sees her walk down the aisle. But then again, if she ended up with Clint instead then tables would have turned, it will leave me crying while reading from kris pov. Haha. Thank you for such lovely story!! :-) xx
kpopj3 #7
Chapter 41: Alternate ending ^^
DragonArcana #8
Chapter 41: BONUS CHAPTERS!!!
XxmcgixX #9
Chapter 41: bonus chapters!!!!! :D :D :D