RESTART

December in Korea means a month full of snow. To celebrities like Kris, it means getting busier because they have to prepare for Christmas shows and concerts. Kris had to spend hours in the studio practicing his vocals and that left his mind occupied. It's been five days now since he and Alex last saw each other and seriously he didn't expect it to have an effect on him. Maybe he just misses her awkwardness or her not-so-calm personality. Or maybe he just misses sparing some time for a person even through his hectic schedules. It's not like he doesn't have girl friends, it's just that he was never close to any of them. There's a girl in G's Ent whose name's Amber and they get along well, more like his sister. But he hasn't seen Amber for a long time because she's also busy promoting her group. In the hospital, Kris only has his Mom to talk with. Sometimes, whenever he's available, Kai would visit and take-over looking after Kris's Dad. He's that kind of friend. 

Kris has been reading the magazines featuring Alexandria that he has bought a month ago. He got three and he just finished two. Fact is, he now knows that Alex has lost her parents at a young age. But it never says in her interviews what age she did. There was never an article that says about her having a boyfriend and getting engaged. Although there were questions about her ideal types and dating. The photos were bare and Alex was paired with male models in some of them. Kris remembered doing the music video with her and how that felt like. Alex's body pressed against his, her hands on his head, touching his chest, her smell, her lips, hearing her heartbeat, her hesitations...God, he doesn't even know why he's doing all of this! 

It's just the chromosomes. He's a man. Of course he feels something when a girl touches him or if that girl is gorgeous. He remembered talking to Lexy after the MV shooting.

They spent dinner together, in the restaurant that they used to dine in when they were still lovers. Kris was staring at his plate, not wanting to eat. Things will probably never feel the same way again, with Lexy. Even if she was in simple clothes, without make-up, and looking like she was the most loyal girlfriend any guy can ever ask for, Kris might never forget the sight of her making-out with another man. 

Lexy started their conversation. 'Listen, I don't know how to start this. But, I just want to say sorry. I know that what I did was wrong and that I shouldn't have done it.' 

'What made you do it? Lexy, just give me one reason so I can at least understand you.' Kris has forgiven her, time made him. Time does that to people. It changes you through the years, even the things you once felt. 

It took a while before Lexy answered him. Kris thought that she was having difficulty thinking of a good reason. 'You were busy with a lot of other things. You stopped seeing me. You work from Mondays to Sundays and every time I came to watch you rehearse you had girls working with you.' 

Kris waited if she'll stop there. Maybe she still has more to say. When she remained quiet, he wished that he had never asked for her to explain. 'That's it? You went out with someone else because I was busy with a lot of other things? If I recall, you were also busy with your career. That was when you'll get out of the country every week because you had a lot of international offers. Even if I lost time seeing you, I called you five times a week, wasn't that enough? Every time I was at work, thinking that I wouldn't be able to finish early and drive you home, I'd send someone to do it because I was concerned about you.' His voice wasn't raised. He tried to control his anger. He was trying his best not to shout at her. Because he has long forgotten the emotions he felt after what Lexy did. He just want to leave it behind.

But Lexy won't. She touched Kris's hand on the table and with longing in her face, she whispered, 'I wasn't lying when I said that I still love you.'

Kris can see it in her eyes. But he doesn't know how to trust her again. 'I don't feel the same way about you anymore.' He said. It was the truth. There was a time when he thought he could never fall for anyone new because he loved Lexy too much. He got used to all the things about her and their relationship. But there's always a fresh start for every goodbye. 'I'm sorry, Lexy but- I'm happy with what I have now.' It was just too late for a restart. And all those times Kris thought that he will be the one who wouldn't be able to move forward. 

Before departing, Kris held both of Lexy's hands to his chest. 'There was a time when I could tell the world that I would always fight for you. I loved you in every way that I knew was right. Right now I only wish you can find someone you'll love better and who'll love you greater. Someone who'll make you happier. Believe me, there is.'

Kris smiles to himself. Every fallen relationship needs a closure. And then he laughs. His friend Kai is the opposite of him. Kai has six or seven girlfriends in the past, only two has received a closure from him. How was it to be in his shoes? 

That night Kris talked to the nurses. He never really interacted with them. They'd usually just enter Kris's Dad's room and do their jobs. But tonight, Kris asked them questions. And he wants to convince himself that it's not because he read in the magazines that Alex once wanted to become a nurse. 'Is it hard being a nurse?' He asked at the one with a name tag that says Hi! I'm Nurse Sulli.

Sulli's eyes went round, and Kris almost wanted to laugh. People have same reactions when he gives them attention. 'Uhm...at first, Sir. But it's our profession. Eventually we get used to it.' Used to taking care of patients who are not even related to them, used to get yelled at by some strict relatives of patients, used to run errands around the hospital without having the time to pee and eat, used to getting to work early and going home late because of a toxic shift, Kris witnessed it all. His Dad's been confined for ages and Kris has already seen many scenarios in the hospital. He smiled at Sulli. She came back at twelve midnight to give some IV medications. But Kris didn't expect her to bring a scarf with her.

'Mr. Yi Fan? Can I get an autograph please? If it's okay with you.' Sulli blushed. 

Kris took the scarf, wanting to make Sulli feel less embarrassed. He has a feeling that she's been thinking 'bout it all the while that they were talking an hour ago. 'Sure, Sulli.' 

Sulli was beyond glad when she got the scarf back. When she left the room, Kris heard some girls squeal. Fans. They're his fans.

Kris managed to fall asleep with his head resting on his arms over his Dad's bed. He thought he heard someone got in and there was the sound of plates. The dietary must have put the food tray on the table. He opened his eyes and-

'Good morning!' Alex was standing near the window, her smile as bright as the sunshine. 'Kai told me that you'll be here today so I thought of coming. I opened the blinds, I hope you don't mind. It makes the room look brighter.' Indeed, Kris thought. He can't help smiling. This was unexpected.

Alex moved to the bedside table. Kris couldn't see what she's putting on a plate. 'I brought some muffins. I hope you like them.' She offered. She handed him three different flavors. One with Hershey chocolate on top, one with nuts and one that's plain. He took the one in the middle. 'The nurse came and I listed down your father's vital signs in case you ask.' She waved a small piece of paper.

Alex looked rather casual. Her hair was down and she was wearing pedal shorts and rubber shoes. It seems that she has the whole day off. And she's here at seven thirty in the morning. 'Have you lost the ability to speak?' 

Kris laughed. He realized he hasn't said anything to her yet. 'Good morning.' He wet his lips. He's just really happy she's here.

Alex smiled. 'How is he?' She looked over to his Dad. Maybe she'll be a very beautiful nurse if she ever pursued that ambition.

'Still the same.' Kris also looked at his Dad. 'And you? How are you feeling?' He did not forget about Alex getting sick last time. 

'I'm feeling better, thanks.' She looks better. Alex walked back towards the window and with joy in her voice, she said. 'See that tower right there?'

Kris stood up and walked to stand beside her. She was pointing to the tallest tower, nearest to the shore. 'Ahuh.'

'Do you know what it is?' She's sounding like a tour guide, or a trivia girl. Kris shook his head. 'That's Maysan Tower. They say you can go bungee jumping from there.' 

'Really? How many floors are there?'

'Thirty plus? I can't remember.' 

Kris looked at Alex's face for a while. He saw the excitement there. And then he remembers one interview where she confessed about having a bucket list. 'So you like extreme stuff?'

She was fast to reply. 'Yup.'

'Have you tried it with your boyfriend?' 

'Bungee jumping? No. Clint's scared of heights.' She said.

Kris can do it with her. One of these days, maybe. He took a bite of the muffin in his hand. 'Hmm, this is good!' He admits he's really not into bread but this one's deliciously sweet.

Alex beamed. 'You like it? I bought it in the bakery downstairs, just outside the hospital. You should see it. They have like a bunch of them!' She looks like a happy endorser. Kris was glad that he tasted it. He never bought anything from the nearby stores. Maybe he should try some time.

'How's your promotions so far? Busy?' Alex was being talkative. It was something new to Kris. This is the first time he saw her again after six long days. And she's no longer a fake girlfriend yet she's not wearing the ring. How are things between her and Clint? Can Kris ask about that?

'Very busy. The MV's coming out, by the way.' Kris suddenly remembers.

'Today?' 

'Tomorrow night.' 

'Oh, uhm, I don't think I can watch that.' Kris can see her cheeks turning red.

'Why not?' He asked.

'I don't enjoy watching myself on TV, excluding commercials of course. I have poor acting skills,' Alex looks embarrassed. She looks more beautiful when she's humble.

'Nah, you did well. Gang Fe wouldn't have let us finish if he's not satisfied. I've worked with him in my past videos, believe me.' 

Alex only nods. No matter what happens, Kris will make her watch it. She should be proud of it. After all, it's her first appearance in a music video. And Kris is in it with her.

'Is your Mom coming?' Alex asked. 

'Later this afternoon. I have to be in a music show at six,' he shared. In fact he wished he has nothing to do all day, so he and Alex can talk till he can drive her to the apartment. Something occurred to him. 'Alex, can I ask you a personal question?'

'Too personal?' 

Kris thought about it. 'Maybe?' It depends.

'What is it?' 

'Your parents, how old were you when they died?' 

Alex was shocked. 'You knew?'

It's always best not to lie. 'I've read in one of your magazine interviews.'

Then Alex saw it. On top of the drawers, Alex caught sight of her Cosmo edition. Kris must have been reading it. How ironic. Way back she sorts of have every Kris magazine there is. 'I was eighteen.'

'What happened to them?' 

'They got into a car crash. I don't know, I wish I could've been there. The police called me and I rushed to the hospital. They were critical.' Kris can picture it. It must have hurt so much. Alex could've needed anyone for support. How many times did she cry after that? How many people came to help her? 

'You miss them.' Kris doesn't have to ask to know. Getting both of them out of the topic, he said, 'Women have this typical picture in mind wishing that their fathers will walk them along the aisle when they get married and they'll be close to their husbands' families. You're engaged, you must be feeling the same thing.'

Instead of getting serious, Alex laughed. 'Who told you that!?'

And Kris found himself laughing too. What made him say that? 'I've had girlfriends in the past, for your information. And when you're committed, you talk about marriage and all that cheesy stuff.' He hates himself for saying it. It's true though.

'Me and Clint, we never talked about getting married. To be honest, I never saw myself ending up with him. But then it happened.' Alex smiled. What is it about Clint? Kris didn't push the subject. He prefers not to go that way. It was nice having Alex here with him.

'Does this mean we can be friends? You being here today?' 

'Hmm,' Alex gave it a thought. 'Another fifteen days, maybe? Same rules, you don't count a day when you don't see me personally. But! I have conditions.' She was ready for business. And Kris knew that this time, she's the boss.

'Okay. What conditions?'

Alex began counting in her hands. 'One, no shouting. Don't get drunk when you're with me. Let me pay for my food. Hey, I'm not yet finished!' She said when Kris opened his mouth to object. 'Be nicer,' she raised the fourth finger in her left hand. Then a fifth, 'More approachable,' and they've reached counting in her other hand. 'Try to control your temper. Be more reasonable and honest. Stop the cold guy image. And!' She stressed out. Kris made a face. 'I'm just kidding, that's the last. So that makes a total of eight conditions.'

She's got to be joking, Kris thought. 'Don't you think that's too much?' He tried.

'No. It's so easy, actually.'

Kris stared at her. She can be correct. Because right now, looking at her simply made him confirm three things for himself. First, he can't see himself shouting at her ever again. Second, he can't see himself getting angry at her for any reason. And third, he can only see that he'll be happy with her. 'Okay, Alex. Count me in.'

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Happy March everyone! How's your week so far? I hope that you're going to like this update. And I'm going to have to say sorry in advance because I might not be able to update through the weekend, again. My Grandma passed away :( 

But! You can expect loads of updates by next week so wait for it please. Thank you to all who has been following this story! I can't thank you guys enough. Stay with me till the end? Fighting!

P.S. Comments and any kind of feedback is very welcome. Don't forget to upvote! :)