DAY 18: POINTLESS

By the time Alex sat in front of her computer to check the Liar music video on You Tube, it already has 110,407 views. While buffering, she read some of the comments.

Khenjji09:
OHMYGOD KREASUS!!!!! THIS IS AMAZING!!!!

Krissgirl:
the replay button!! Daebak! Kris whyy you kill me with that iness! Alex is so luckyyy! She looks gorgeous in this video, everyone agree with me pls!

BBme14f:
OMFG Kris and Alex in one video! Feels everywhere! I love them. Who's that other guy? He looks HOT! Can't stop watching this video ;)

Evergreen_23:
315 dislikes? Those people must be out of their minds! This is driving me craaaay! "You're a b*tch with some sh*t" i hope Lexy's watching this! Congratulations Kris oppa! Can't wait for the live performances! My ovaries are exploding!!! 

brilliantstar88:
Does anyone know what's the name of the other guy?

AlexIsME:
KRIS <33333 Saranghae!!!

FfyiF4441:
This is lame for a comeback. Chanyeol looked hotter than Kris and Alex's acting was really 
awkward. They don't have chemistry together. I'm sorry but I'm just saying my opinion. 

hunhanisreal:
I waited one year for this! :))

9Jbisfake:
This is GAY???

Alex stopped from there. Without waiting any longer, she clicked the play button.

The first scene was of Kris walking in the streets acting cool and rapping the first lines of Liar. The intro was brilliant, it almost looked like a clip from a movie. Kris looks hot in that gangster leather jacket and he was in the middle of traffic. Alex remembers watching him do that scene. They had to temporarily close the road at Yangdon so that they can proceed with the shooting. There were lots of fans watching behind the cameras and Kris would wave at them after each cut. Then the bed scene with Alex appeared on her computer screen.

The first thing that got into her mind was shock. The scene looks real. She almost wanted to drag the forward button because she wanted to skip the intimacy. Kris was kissing her everywhere and she can't even make herself think of how she felt that time. She closed her eyes to shut the image out. That scene ran for eight seconds. 

Then it's Kris's solo again and some random shots of things being crashed and the sound of hard breathing in the background. This should be rated 18, Alex thought. The parts with Chanyeol was a bit bearable in comparison. Alex would have to agree with some of the comments she've read; he definitely looks handsome. Maybe she's being paranoid but Alex was kind of sure that the part where she and Chanyeol had to act as if they were having so much fun looked fake. Ugh, I have to stop this. 

The strangest thing about the whole thing is...Alex was here, watching a Kris Wu Yi Fan video starring herself. Never in her past life has she imagined that someday she'll be working with her idol. She would probably be one of those fans who'd be excited over the release of this video and post a crazy comment. Now she reads them and see her name on it; she's now being paired with Yi Fan. Undoubtedly, she's one lucky fangirl.

What would it be like if she still hasn't met Kris till now? What if the proposal never happened? What if she never had to play the role of being his fake girlfriend? What if she just said goodbye to him after that fifteen days and never consider coming back to be a friend? There seems to be many what ifs now. What if she met Kris when she still wasn't engaged? What if she never met Clint? What if she said no to Kris's proposal from the very start? And then it struck her in the chest. Clint still hasn't called her. Even when she was sick last week, she heard nothing from him. 

She didn't realize the music video end. She logged out, shut the computer down and headed to her room. After using the bathroom, she went to get her planner in the bedside drawer. She opened it to the last page where she's written her bucket list. 

1. Bungee
2. Mountain climbing
3. Cable car
4. Banana boat
5. Skydiving

Extreme stuff as Kris addressed it. Getting a pen, Alex marked the first number with a check. Right after the mark she wrote 'Done- Dec. 4, 2013 / Maysan Tower / With Yi Fan'. She looked at the list one more time. Four to go.

Before going to sleep, she composed a txt message for Kris. 'Saw the MV. It's...not for my eyes. Haha. I like the song though. Congratulations :)' She pressed Send.

That night Alex dreamed of Clint. In her dream, she went back to Canada to confront him. Clint was shocked to see her. At the end of it, Alex said to him, 'I can't do this anymore'.

She woke up with tears in her eyes.

Alex slept the whole day. She was too fed up to even move. She might as well just stay in bed and do nothing. When she checked her phone at 5PM, there are two messages from Kris, one from her bestfriend Chesca and one from Clint. She decided on reading Chesca's first.

'I miss you Alex! Exam week's over!! I'm just waiting for the results. I'll see you very soon! Christmas is in three weeks! Your fiancé's coming!! Love you! By the way, I saw the video with Kris this morning! Why didn't you tell me? You were amazing! High five!'

She read Clint's next.

'Would you prefer simple or a big wedding?'

Alex can't believe this. He'd txt her just to ask a question like that? What is he even up to? Haven't they dated enough for him to know that she'd prefer a simple and private wedding? 

Feeling disappointed, she clicked on Kris's messages.

'Haha. It would be nice seeing your reaction live. Thanks.' (Sent at 12:25AM)
'Goodmorning! Mind watching me rehearse tonight? I hate rehearsing alone. Greg's busy with some stuff.' (Sent at 10:04AM)

Alex didn't reply to all four messages. But just after she has returned the cell phone on top of the table, it rang. Alex doesn't know why but she laughed the moment she saw who's calling. I can predict him now.

'What's up?' She asked at her famous rapper friend. It was obvious that she's just woken up. 

'Why aren't you replying to my messages?' At least he didn't sound rude.

'I'm feeling lazy today, sorry.' It was all she can say.

'You're not coming? I can pick you up later.' He always has his ways. 

'What time?' Alex asked, just in case she agrees.

'Nine.'

She can't possibly sleep 24hours, right? Alex was sure Kris will be nosy anyways. 'It's not like I can say no, can I?'

She heard Kris laughed. 'I'll see you then.' 

Alex finally got up from bed. Looking at the alarm clock, she saw her engagement ring lying there on the table, next to the lamp shade. She felt herself frown. Thinking of what to do, she fixed the bed and opened the curtains of the window. Putting her problems aside, she tried to force a smile on her face. Everyday can be different.

The cold guy was never late. He arrived in Alex's place at 8:30. Alex has just finished eating dinner and talked to Chesca over the phone prior. She wants to think that conversing with her friend made her feel better.

They drove to an unfamiliar road. Alex has never been to G's Entertainment building before. She once dreamed of it. She would've gone there with a huge Kris Yi Fan banner in her past life. What a smart idea.

They got down from the car, greeted the guard on-duty, and entered the elevator. 

'Wow.' Alex can't stop admiring the inside of the elevator. All three corners are mirrors with gold stones along the edges, even the door. Gregson Senior is rich, eh?

They went out on the 4th floor and there's a way to the left and one to the right. Kris led the way to the left. There are frames of G's Ent artists hanging on the walls along the lobby. After passing two doors, they entered through the third. 

'Welcome to the studio!' Kris exclaimed. Seeing Alex's roaming eyes, he added, 'First time?' 

It was indeed Alex's first time in a recording studio. She nodded. The room was divided into half. Kris opened the glass door that separates the room, going into the room with a mic stand and musical instruments. 'This is where I sing. And my manager will be sitting right there.' He pointed over to the seat that's inside the other room, with the controllers and speakers. Alex can picture Kris and Gregson having a recording session. 'This is like my second home.'

Kris took a stool for Alex to sit down. He turned the microphones on and put the headset to his ears. 'Hello?' He tested. His voice echoed.

'Are you really going to rehearse?' Alex asked, wanting to know if Kris can hear her. Who knows if there's music playing in his earphones. 

Kris answered her question by singing the chorus of Liar. His voice occupied the whole room. It was like a dream come true to Alex. She long wanted to hear Kris sing his songs live, and in a recording studio. Only difference is...Kris has no idea that she was his fan. Will Alex ever tell him?

She listened while Kris sang songs from his upcoming album. She's not trying to be biased if she says that she likes them all. It will be an all-kill on the charts soon. Kris looks so handsome with the headset on.

During the little break, Alex found the courage to ask, 'Do you write all the songs?' 

Kris took a separate stool and places it beside her. Upon sitting, he replied, 'Yes'. Alex never knew that. She thought that some of the songs in his album weren't self-composed. 

'Based on experience?'

Kris shook his head. 'Sometimes it's just random stuff that I want to write about.'

'Was Liar written for Lexy?' Alex was hoping it's okay to ask. If Kris doesn't want to answer, she will not push it. She just wants to know if what Chanyeol told her during the MV shooting is correct.

'Yes.' Kris said without elaborating. 

'Can I ask you a personal question?' Alex copied the way Kris asked that to her in the apartment. 

Kris remembered what comes next. 'Too personal?' 

'Maybe?' 

Alex has a feeling that Kris knew she's going to ask more about Lexy. He doesn't seem to mind though. 'Go ahead.'

'Why did you break up with her? I mean, it was you who asked for the break-up, right? That's what it said on the newspapers.' She can still remember that headline: "Singer-rapper Kris Wu Fan called it quits with his girlfriend of two years Lexy Carter". 

Kris was amused. 'Do you always read the newspapers?' He hates the headlines. If it's a cheap newspaper, the headlines are often just made-up stories. 

'No,' Alex lied.

'Do you always believe in what you read?' 

'Of course not! But! You had this one interview in a magazine where you said, and I quote "I never dated anyone after her". Was that true?' Alex should stop or else Kris will find out sooner that she's his fan. 

Kris laughed. 'Yes, I remember saying that. Yes it's true.' He seems in the good mood of sharing. 

'Why?' Alex grabbed the chance to understand him better.

'I just didn't see myself dating anyone else.' 

'You love her that much.' Alex heard herself say. Why isn't Lexy here with them? She saw her after the MV shooting last week. She saw her again that night in the club. They're back in each other's arms, aren't they? 

But Kris corrected her. 'Loved.' 

'What do you mean? What did she do, anyway?'

'I caught her kissing someone.' And before Alex can even react, he continued, 'i caught her kissing someone while she was in a relationship with me.'

Alex covered with her palm. That flirt. What made her do that? She dared cheat on Kris Wu Yi Fan? Kris Wu Yi Fan?

Kris removed her hand from . 'I'd like to hear what you've got to say. Even if it's not something nice.' He said.

Alex won't. She wouldn't judge Lexy because for one, she never knew her personally. All she managed to say was, 'I'm sorry.' And then she remembered talking to Lexy in Kris's room at the hotel. She might have seen the ring. Did she tell Kris when he woke up? Did she ask him if he's dating an engaged woman? Is she planning of doing something? What if she calls the press and make an interview and tell the public that everything about Kris and Alex is just a joke? 

'Is there something bothering you?' 

'Nothing,' Alex lied. 'Have you moved on? Do you see yourself dating someone else now?'

Kris's reply surprised her. 'I'm dating you, aren't I?'

When she remained quiet, Kris took back his words, 'I'm just kidding.' He doesn't look like it.

Alex poked him on the knee. 'You should not say things like that!' 

Kris only laughed. What's going on in his head? Alex swore she wished she can read his thoughts at that very moment. 

Kris stood up again to practice. Alex picked up one of the papers on the stool where he seated a while ago. It's a new song entitled "Pointless". She scanned the lyrics.

Calls from sun to moon
A shoulder, a hand
Am I that to you? 
If I part, will you follow
If I break, will you cry
Where are you
Tell me why
Everything's pointless now

The song makes her think about Clint. She put it back down and avoiding Kris's eyes, she said, 'Can I sit there?', pointing at the chair in the other room. Kris mumbled 'Yah.'

She went out to the other room and shut the door behind. She sat on the chair in front of the button keys. She examined each. There were buttons for auto tune, volume, pitch, melody, and echo. Alex can see Kris in the window in front of her. Getting her bag, she looked for the ring and placed it on her finger. Then she started circling it in her hands, playing with it. 

She keeps telling herself that Clint hasn't changed. That he's just busy preparing something she doesn't know of and that he'll be here soon. She disregarded the worries because he tells her that he's okay and that he'll call if he's not. She ignored the distance because he promised they'll see each other again on the 27th. She let go of her fears because in her heart she wants to trust her fiancee. But then she thought of his reasons. She thought of their relationship; how they started and how they are now. Can anyone tell her that she'll be a happy bride soon and that Clint will never hurt her feelings? What do you call what he's doing to her now? Was it really hard to call her or send her even a simple 'I love you' or 'I'm sorry'? Alex started to sob. Pointless. Is that how to describe what they have now? Her sobs grew louder and she's thankful that Kris couldn't hear her. What would he say if he see her crying? Maybe he'll think she's a crying baby? That she's easily hurt and she's being paranoid? It's been two weeks! If she calls Clint, what would she tell him? How can she tell him she's angry at him? How can she even speak out the words without breaking down? Kris is still singing. Alex listened to his voice to drift the pain. Until she fell asleep and the tears were all but stained water on her cheeks. 

'Alex. Alex?' 

Alex felt someone waking her up. She stirred. 

'Alex, it's time to go.' It's Kris.

She looked at him and he knelt down when he saw that her eyes were swollen. 'Have you been crying?'

She can only stare back at him. Kris shouldn't be the one to see her in that form.

'What's wrong?' Kris sounded concerned. 'Is it your boyfriend?' 

Alex laughed sarcastically. 'Boyfriend? Whose boyfriend?' She can feel the tears about to fall again. 

Kris stayed there, holding her on both arms, knowing that it's not something funny. 'Tell me. Please tell me what's hurting you.'

It's like she's been waiting for someone to tell her that for two weeks. She just needs someone to talk to. A shoulder, a hand, whatever anyone can lend. 

Alex told Kris. And he listened even if it was 2:30 in the morning. Even if he's tired from recording and even if he has a tight schedule in the following hours. When he drove Alex home, he turned to her and say, 'I'm here. I'll just be right here.'

Alex will never forget how Kris rescued her that night. He loosen the traffic in her heart. In a small amount of time, he was her escape. 

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A very emotional chapter for y'all. I'm sorry about all the fluff, drama, and wrong grammars. This update tells a lot about Alex and Kris's feelings. I hope I gave justice to what Alex is going through. Whenever I write, I always put myself in the character's situations, making sure I feel what they feel. I know some of you may be hating on Clint already even if he hasn't make an actual appearance yet, but please anticipate the next chapters. I can assure you that every chapter has its significance. Every chapter has something that is important to the whole story. 

I just want to say thank you to all the wonderful subscribers. I wouldn't be finishing this story if it weren't for your support. A single feedback can make my day. And to my bestfriend Marjorie, who's always interested in every update and story that I post, thank you. 

One last thing, please don't plagiarize. This story means a lot to me because this is my own hard-work. If you want to make a story, make it your own and do not copy anyone else's. I just have to say this before anything gets out of hand. 

Fighting! :)