chapter forty-seven

Gone

Alone. Alice was alone in the apartment. She was sitting in the living room’s couch playing. She had both of her hands in front of her and with her powers, with her spells, she was creating different illusions. Mirages of flowers, places she had been and people she had met. And it hurt her seeing so many faces. So different faces that welcomed her despite who she was. People who didn’t judge her for being a demon. People who cared for her. A person who became her best friend and Alice truly cared, Sulli. And a person who knew the real her and loved her, someone who felt in love for a demon, Lu Han.

Demon? No. Alice couldn’t use that word to describe herself anymore. She wasn’t an apprentice anymore. She wasn’t a demon-apprentice anymore. She failed. And now…she was nothing. Someone who didn’t a purpose in live anymore. Someone who failed in purpose.

Alice smiled as a mirage of a rose without thrones. Had her illusions trying to communicate with her? That flower represents without fears. Even if Alice didn’t know much about flowers and the different kind that exist, she knew about that know specifically. It was her favorite flower. It was the flower that her mother gave her every single year in her birthday. Her mother was the one who explained the meaning of such a beautiful plant.

Without fears. She had to live without fears. That was her mother told her.

Her illusion was telling her to not be afraid. And she wasn’t.

The girl hugged her sweeter tighter and stop her gaze in that flower. The weather was getting colder lately and it was raining outside. It was mid-November.

Yesterday, she didn’t tell them about her punishment. The only one out of the seven who knew was Lu Han. Alice didn’t have the guts to tell them, because of the way they welcomed her. They received her with jokes and smiles that made her heart ached. She didn’t want to make them sad, not yet.

Lu Han noticed her concern and remained silent. Alice was the one who should tell them the news despite the fact it was painful.

He was suffering too. He didn’t want to believe it was true. Alice just can’t disappear. Lu Han was afraid to forget her. He was terrorized to forget such beautiful and unique feelings he had for her. Never before he had such a feeling for a girl just like the way he had for Alice. He had girlfriends before, but no one like Alice. No one as sincere as her.

In work, Lu Han wasn’t paying attention. Sehun and Jongin joked because Alice wasn’t with them, but Lu Han didn’t react with their gag. They guessed something else was bothering. As well as Alice.

The six of them, Sulli, Kai, Sehun, Tao, Chanyeol and Baekhyun, noticed something different on Lu Han and Alice’s eyes. Sadness? Pain? They weren’t sure. But they were sure something was off.

They knew they haven’t break up, because of the kind acts of Lu Han towards Alice yesterday night. They still acted as a couple, but their eyes reflected misery.

It was something only the two of them knew about.

That day Sehun and Kai forced Lu Han to leave work early. He looked absent-minded. And before Lu Han even noticed it, he was already on his way back home. He smirked at his friends’ behavior. Sehun and Kai cared and send him home early. They were sure Lu Han wanted to home early because they caught the latter eyeing at his watch several times in just a few minutes.

What Lu Han wanted was to spend the last days, minutes or even seconds Alice had left. She hasn’t mentioned when she was supposed to leave, because she wasn’t sure. The only thing she was sure it was that her mentor was the one who is supposed to pick her and bring her back to Hell. In Hell, the punishment is supposed to take place.

Alice was preparing something special. A special gift. She was writing small but meaningful carts towards the six boys, Sulli and even the four guardians. Even if she didn’t know them well, she was thankful they accepted her. Despite Alice being a demon-apprentice, they accepted her due to her sincere personality.

In the table kitchen there was eleven different gifts. Small boxes which contained a cart and some candies of different flavor, cookies or chocolates the girl bought, because Alice wasn’t a good cooker. Cooking was one of her debilities. So she just preferred buying chocolates, candies and cookies.

Why was she preparing those presents? Because in some minutes Azazel will come to pick her up. How did she know? Because Chen contacted her three hours ago. He said Azazel will come at ten, because at midnight she’ll disappear.

Why so early? Because today it was full-moon.

She didn’t expect it to be this far. It was so soon. And she won’t be able to see Lu Han for the last time because by ten Alice won’t be there, at the apartment, to explain the other and say goodbye. She wished to see them one last time, but she couldn’t.

The only thing she could do is wished them good luck and happiness, because she wasn’t able to obtain that: felicity. But she did obtain it, Alice obtained contentment, just for a few days. She gained confident, bliss, affection and love. But soon those will disappear in a blink of eye. Because of the person she was, a demon-apprentice, those feelings were ephemeral.

Alice knew from the begging it would be temporary, but she wanted to experience those rare and unique feelings. Emotions she never felt before and that made her heart jumped of bliss.

She placed the small boxes where the boys can see them and she put Sulli’s and The Guardians’ in her bedroom. Which won’t be her room anymore. Alice took a few minutes to remember the small but comfortable room. She tried to remember every single detail she could. The bed she and Sulli shared, the small bookshelf next to bed, the single small lamp and the closed in front of the bed.

Ten minutes passed in silent and Alice left the room and there was a person just entering the apartment. She recognized Lu Han immediately. She felt contented and sad at the same time when she noticed him. She didn’t bother to ask why he was back earlier. Alice didn’t care about the reason, but treasure the moment.

Alice walked towards him and the moment he smiled at her, she felt like crying. She embraced him into a soft and warm hug. She was treasuring the last moments with him. Alice tried to remember his scent, his sweet and addictive scent, and tried to not cry.

“I’m glad you are back early,” she mumbled into his chest.

Lu Han felt weak. He knew something was off. He felt the sadness in Alice’s words despite the fact of the happy sentence he was sure it there was sorrow behind them.

He kissed her forehead softly and made Alice lift her head. And the sight of her crystalline and broken gaze didn’t please him at all. She looked so vulnerable. So weak. He took Alice face between his hands and caressed her cheeks kindly. “What happened?”

Alice tried her best to not cry. “I’ll leave today...In a few minutes,” she whispered back.

Lu Han was speechless and indeed terrible sad. He didn’t expect her to leave this soon. He wanted to spend more time with her. He wanted to go out with her more. There were so many places he wanted to take her before she leaves. He wanted to create more happy memories with her before she disappears. But it wasn’t possible anymore.

It was just as his mother. He knew sooner or later she’ll leave him. He already faced that fact. He was indeed ready for that to happen. But in Alice case, he received the news just a day ago. It was too soon. Too early to process it and faced it.

With Alice help he was able to confront his mother’s death, even if he was still vulnerable over the fact, he was strong. But when the girl disappears who will help him? Who will understand his pain? The only one who comprehended the sorrow he was going through when his mother passed away was she, no one else but Alice.

He didn’t want her to go. He didn’t want to let her go. He won’t let her go easily.

Soon there was a knock on the balcony window making both turned towards it.

Alice gaze turned wider as she saw that person, rather demon, opening the balcony window and entering the apartment like if it where his house.

She knew it was time.

“Long time no see,” Azazel smirked, “My dear apprentice”

Lu Han’s eyes turned a bit angry and possessive, but at the same time he felt uneasy and weak. Azazel’s aura was really scary and overwhelming. He compared it with Xiumin’s and they were similar, but Xiumin’s aura was rather calmer yet somber.

“Who is that guy?” Her mentor asked making Alice lifted her arms to protect Lu Han, who eyed her with curiosity yet lovingly.

“Don’t you dare to lay a finger on him! He has nothing to with you”

But he did. Azazel knew Alice loved that human, because he was informed. The Council informed it, but it wasn’t his business if his pupil falls in love. He didn’t care at all. But at the same time, he was a bit mad with her for failing and happy. Because Azazel was sure she won’t survive in a world as a demon. For him, Alice, can’t be a demon due to her determinate and warm heart.

Azazel was happy she won’t be living in pain and sadness, but at the same time he felt sorry for her, for her destiny. But he couldn’t do anything about it. It was Alice decision to fail, not his. Alice was the one who decided that fate for her. Anyone else, but her.

“He’s your boyfriend.” Azazel smirked receiving an angry gaze from Lu Han and a surprised one from Alice. “Did you think I won’t notice it? Even The Council bother telling me. Yet, I won’t do anything about it. It’s your decision to date anyone you want…even a human”

Alice nodded slightly.

“It’s already time,” her mentor whispered. Alice nodded once again.

She walked a bit but a sudden pull made her stop and turn. Lu Han was eyeing her with a broken and fragile gaze, just like hers. She didn’t want to leave him. She didn’t want it to end like this. It was painful. It was hurtful.

Alice hugged him and so did Lu Han. They inhaled both scent and treasure their last hug.

“Be strong,” Alice mumbled and sobbed, “And don’t forget me, please”

Lu Han shook his head slowly and whispered back, “I won’t. I love you”

They broke the hug and with tears in her eyes, she walked away towards the balcony. She let her fake wings appeared and she was about to leave, but she stopped and turned.

There was something she haven’t told Lu Han until now. And she wanted him to know it too. She didn’t know why haven’t she told him before. Maybe it wasn’t the perfect time. But it was this now the perfect time? Maybe. Maybe not. But who cares?! Alice has to let those three words came out from .

“I love you,” Alice said with tears in her eyes, “I love you too, Lu Han”

And with that she followed Azazel, who watched them in completely silence, but in a complete awe, back to Hell. Never before he had seen Alice in such a facet. A broken, sad, yet content facet.

Alice had changed in the months he haven’t follow her. She changed into a strong person. And Azazel noticed she wasn’t afraid anymore. She didn’t fear her punishment.

 author's note 

»  TT.TT *sobsob* Alice is leaving. I can´t with my feels for this couple <3 HanLice is too loving. And they -finally- said I love you to each other *sobsharder* TT.TT 

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