It has been days since Suzy last saw Myungsoo. She knew that he was busy with part-time work but she couldn’t understand why he had to skip classes too. He had been absent for days and to her frustration, he wouldn’t answer her calls or text messages.

“Noona!”

The loud call had disturbed Suzy’s train of thoughts; when she turned around, she was surprised with the excruciating hug of Sungjong. She reciprocated the embrace with a smile of her own, admitting that she had long missed her friend. They chatted for a little while as Sungjong narrated stories of his adventures in order to get admitted to the school he had dreamed of.

“But their academic year starts in September, right?” she asked.

“Hmmm,” Sungjong nodded, “So I’d be vacant for a few months after graduation. I’m still planning to stay in Europe though so that I’d be able to adjust before school starts.”

“That’s good,” Suzy beamed but when silence enveloped them as they walked, Sungjong noticed her worries.

“What is it that’s bothering you, noona?” he asked.

She sighed before confessing, “I haven’t been in touched with Myungsoo for days. I don’t even know where he is.”

Sungjong opened his mouth to explain but then, he shut it again with hesitation, as if he is weighing his words. But after a deep heavy sigh, he told her hastily, “Myungsoo’s in the hospital.”

“What?!” Suzy exclaimed with wide eyes. Then she started blurting, “Which hospital? What happened to him? I’ve got to go and see him!”

“No! Wait!” Sungjong grasped her wrist even before she could walk away. With another sigh, he told her, “It’s not Myungsoo who’s sick. It’s… It’s Naeun’s father.”

At the mention of Naeun’s name, Suzy chose to listen.

“Naeun’s father had a relapse. He’s worse than before,” Sungjong explained, “And uhmm. You know how Myungsoo and Naeun are kind of… in good terms now so… Myungsoo’s trying to help her.”

“I don’t understand,” Suzy averted her gaze, making Sungjong panic.

“They’re just friends,” Sungjong tried to reason out, forcing a smile out, “And Naeun really needs someone right now.”

“No,” Suzy shook her head, “I don’t understand why he didn’t tell me so.”

“Maybe he doesn’t want you to worry,” Sungjong observed her expression, and guilt slowly consumed him, thinking that he was not the best person to say the news to Suzy, “Or he doesn’t want you to get jealous.”

“He knows that I would find it out sooner or later so he should have just told me so,” Suzy sighed, “I would have preferred if he just informed me instead of pulling a disappearing act.”

“I’m sorry,” Sungjong apologized, “I think I pried in too much.”

“No. It’s okay,” Suzy responded, “I guess I’m just a bit disappointed that Myungsoo’s hiding these kind of things. It makes me worry more that he’s keeping it as a secret.”

Quickly, the days that the two were apart became weeks.

Suzy’s time was occupied with catching up with school works in the mornings and practicing with Yong Joon in the afternoons. She’d only meet Woohyun, Soojung and Sungjong during their breaks and it was getting more difficult to hang-out with them during weekends and holidays for everyone was preparing for college entrance exams.

On the other hand, despite knowing that Myungsoo was accompanying Naeun, Suzy didn’t ask him about it whenever they meet.  She waited for him to tell her, but waiting seemed to be futile for Myungsoo wouldn’t say a word about it. Worse, the time that the couple was spending together was becoming lesser and lesser. It was getting more and more difficult for their schedules to match.

Then, before Suzy knew it, it was already the day of her auditions for Julliards – the day she expected yet still dreaded. Fortunately, her music club friends, Eunji, Jieun, Jaejin, and Howon were applying as well so processing some documents were less of a hassle. However, at the day itself, each of them had brought their family members and loved ones while Suzy opted not to invite Yong Joon because of the fear that his presence would influence her auditions and cause rumors.

She looked around the area and saw that there were many dreamers alongside with her who were planning to test their lucks and gauge their talents and abilities. She knew some of them who came from a prominent family of musicians, some who have competed in musical competitions in Korea and abroad and some who have already performed in concerts.

As she waited for her number to be called, Suzy felt like she was becoming smaller – as if she was a candle melting in a struggle to keep her light. Her insecurities about her preparations and abilities were slowly creeping inside her mind, causing fear to crawl in. She had spent most of her days practicing and preparing but the anxiety that engulfed her was almost unbearable.

She kept looking around as she yearned for a certain person – the person whom she knew would banish all her fears, the one who would cast away all her insecurities, the one who would shower her with compliments and encouragements to boost her confidence and the person who promised to be with her.

“Don’t worry. I’d accompany you in your auditions.”

“It’s okay,” Suzy kept saying to herself, “Myungsoo’s coming. He’s coming anytime soon.”

However, time kept passing with no sign of Myungsoo. When it was only ten people before her, Suzy had finally opted to call the male. She had numerous attempts to reach him before he finally answered her call.

“Myungsoo, where are you?” Suzy asked, not even bothering to say ‘hello.’

“I’m… “ Myungsoo’s voice trailed, “I’m in the hospital, Suzy.”

She could feel that a lump was forming inside .

“I’m sorry, Suzy,” Myungsoo whispered, “Naeun needs me right now.”

“Okay,” Suzy replied before ending the call right away, afraid that Myungsoo would sooner or later take a hint that she was about to choke on her tears.

She could feel that a burning and stinging sensation was slowly travelling towards her eyes. She chewed on her lips hard as she tried her best not to cry.

“Not today, Suzy. Today’s not the day for tears. Not today. Please.”

But the more she tried to pretend that she was okay, the more that the pain was consuming her. She chuckled weakly as she thought of how odd it was that Myungsoo was able to erase her nervousness but only to replace it with a different yet worse feeling.

Suddenly, her phone started ringing and absent-mindedly, she pressed the ‘answer’ button before placing it against her ears.

“Hello?”

“Are you crying?”

A tiny smile formed on Suzy’s lips as she mumbled, “Yeol.”

“Are you crying?” he repeated.

Tears started falling dow