Myungsoo held the cup of Americano Naeun’s mom had ordered for him. He let his fingers envelop the warmth of the cup, desperate for anything to make him feel for the silence and the thick air around them was numbing. His gaze was glued to the table as he refused to meet the eyes which had always looked down on him. They were sharing short and casual conversations on their way to the café and the soft tone in the voice of Naeun’s mother was very unfamiliar to Myungsoo; before, she had nothing for him but profanities, discrimination and biased judgments. Almost two years might have transformed a person but Myungsoo still found everything odd and the most eccentric of them all is that while Naeun’s mother changed, his hunger for answers didn’t.

“As you’ve seen, he’s sick,” she started, “My husband – Naeun’s father.”

Myungsoo out of courtesy, met her gaze and saw the sadness in her eyes. He cleared his throat and sincerely said, “I’m sorry.”

“I should be the one saying sorry,” she replied earnestly, “For I used my daughter to save my husband."

His grip on the cup tightened but the stinging pain on his palm could not distract him. He kept silent as he waited and the lack of his words had urged the older woman to start explaining, “It has been two years since he was diagnosed with Chronic Kidney Disease, only six months after our business had started crumbling apart.”

“We already knew that our business did not have a positive future ahead of it and you knew how desperate was I to separate you and Naeun so that I could marry her off to someone who’d save our business,” Naeun’s mother whispered.

Myungsoo remembered those days – the countless times Naeun had to ditch marriage dates; sometimes she’d meet the bachelors her mother arranged for her just in order to say that she was already in love with someone, with him. He knew the various times Naeun fought with her parents and he remembered the instances that he had been slapped and humiliated but through it all, their relationship fought to survive.

“But I guess you love each other too much; you two were fighters and so was your love,” Naeun’s mother’s lips curved into a small smile, “Naeun used to remind us how we could survive without our luxuries in life. She was determined to spend the rest of her life with you, Myungsoo. She would always insist for us to love you for she said that you are the new owner of her heart and her future.”

Myungsoo lifted the cup and sipped some coffee for his throat had started feeling dry. His tongue burned but the pain in his chest was greater for him to even notice the former. He remembered how Naeun would always shower him with love, how she smiled through all the hardships, how she provided their relationship with assurance of their forever but everything suddenly ended and now he was discovering why. For long, he was forced to believe that she stopped loving him, that she had finally exchanged him for wealth, but now, he was knowing the truth behind their end.

“It became a different story when her father’s health started failing,” Naeun’s mother whispered, “It is a fatal disease and we had no more riches to support him. All we had left was ourselves and our prestige. However, prestige was enough for another marriage proposal.”

Myungsoo looked at her once more and saw in her eyes nothing but honesty and sincerity.

“Naeun did not leave you because of money, Myungsoo,” she added, “She was willing to lose all our wealth and our prestige, but not our family. She agreed with her engagement with your brother in order to save her father.”

A bitter smile formed on Myungsoo’s lips – he could have saved Naeun as well if only he was a legitimate child of the Kims.

“The Kims have provided for us – they have revived our business and they are the ones financing the medical expenses of my husband,” she explained, “However, lately, Naeun has been working hard. After school, she’d take on numerous modelling jobs and the only rest she can afford is when she’s here in the hospital to look after her father.”

“I know that she’s doing it for us but the other reason that I could think of is for her to be able to break her engagement; we both know that she would only be able to do that once our family becomes financially stable,” she continued, “I’m ashamed of myself for I am giving the burden to my only daughter so I as well, is trying hard to make our business stand on its own.”

“Why…” his voice had become hoarse so he had to clear his throat again before asking, “Why are you telling me this?”

She sighed before answering, “It would still take some time before we could get back up on our feet but I hope that by the time we could break off her engagement, you’re still there for her.”

“W-What do you mean?” Myungsoo stuttered.

There was plead in her eyes when she met his gaze and added, “Would you please take back my daughter in your life?”

Myungsoo was flabbergasted by her request so his lips remained sealed but Naeun’s mother continued, “It was not her choice to leave you, Myungsoo – she was forced by the circumstances. But I know that she still loves you and if given the chance, she’d come back to you.”

Despair was painted all over her face as she told him, “I’d give you the blessings that I have deprived you of. I’d fully support your relationship – as long as you can make her happy again.”

“Are you your girlfriend’s first?” Suzy asked.

Jongin looked at her oddly before sheepishly saying, “But we haven’t done it yet…”

Suzy widened her eyes before slapping his arm, “I was not talking about that!”

“Ouch!” Jongin rubbed his arm before asking, “What do you mean then?”

“I mean, are you your girlfriend’s first boyfriend?” Suzy clarified.

Slowly, Jongin shook his head, “How about you? Is he your first?”

“He’s my first but I am not his,” Suzy whispered.

“Why’d you ask?” Jongin questioned, “And what’s this gloomy aura around you?”

“Have you…” Suzy kicked the dirt beneath her feet, “Have you ever felt scared of her being in love with her past more than with you?”

I need not to feel scared, I already know, Jongin wanted to answer but instead of confessing, he swiftly directed the question back to Suzy, “Why? Are you scared?”

Suzy looked at the ground before slowly nodding her head, “I think I am.”

Jongin sighed and he knew that there was an objective basis of her anxieties. Thus, he ruffled her hair in a comforting manner before saying, “Don’t let insecurities get into you and distract you from loving him.”

Suzy then met Jongin’s gaze and he continued, “Instead, shower him with love so that he’d prefer to make not his past but his present with you to become his future.”

A smile formed on Suzy’s lips but instead of thanking Jongin for the advice, she , “Such a love guru you are. You must have had an amazing love life.”

Jongin glossed over it with a smile and replied, “I prefer to be called an amazing friend instead of a love guru.”

Suzy chuckled in reply and acted as if she was giving him a medal and pinning a pin on his shirt as she said, “By the power vested in me, I award thee, Kim Jongin, the amazing friend title.”

The both of them smiled and Jongin wished for their friendship to last, for Suzy to still accept him wholly once she finds the truth about his family.

After the conversation with her mother, Myungsoo opted to be alone as he spent hours absorbing what he had heard. All the truth that he had always sought for came rushing like waves crushing his being. He was drowning in confusion but still, he found himself walking towards the room where Naeun’s father stayed.

He softly knocked on the door and soon, it revealed a tired Naeun. At first, they just stared at each other until Naeun spoke, “You’re still here?”

“Your mother had requested for me to help you,” he lied. He knew that she wouldn’t be able to sleep by herself for her mother had already gone to work.

“I never thought that you two would be friends,” Naeun said underneath her breath with a chuckle but upon realizing that she shouldn’t be talking about their past, she stopped. However, when she looked at Myungsoo, there was also a grin plastered on his face.

“I’ve never thought that too,” he replied with ease.

Naeun beamed again and opened the door fully for him, “Come in.”

She offered a chair and Myungsoo pulled it towards the bed where her father lie. Myungsoo remembered him as a sturdy man who had great strength and vigor but now, Naeun’s father was far from that – he grew thin, he had lost his hair and there were numerous tubes attached to him. He seemed to be sleeping soundly but Myungsoo bowed in greeting nonetheless.

“Is there anything that you want?” Naeun asked as she tried to rummage through their stuff and the fridge.

“I’m fine,” Myungsoo replied, “You can sleep now.”

Naeun looked at him but Myungsoo just gave her a small smile and added, “I know that you haven’t slept since we arrived last night. It’s already 4am.”

“You haven’t slept too,” she retorted.

“I did. I’ve been away for hours, right? I’ve had some sleep,” he lied, “Now go and sleep. I’m fine.”

“As you say so,” Naeun nodded for she was already too tired to even resist. However, she gave him a book as his companion to kill time, “I know you have your own Paper Towns in your shelf but this is the only one that I have.”

He accepted the book without word and silence surrounded the room as Myungsoo started reading while Naeun prepared herself to sleep on the sofa near the bed. She called his name and she loved the way it passed through her lips with ease, “Myungsoo.”

“Hmm?” he hummed and looked at her. Her eyes were already close and she was soon to drift asleep yet there a smile on her lips.

“Thank you,” she whispered and it didn’t take long before she fell into a deep slumber.

Myungsoo watched her sleeping figure and then he closed the book. He pulled his hair in frustration because the missing pieces of his past were already given to him, but as he had completed the picture, it is now meddling with his present.

Jongin rushed to the hospital. He dialed through all the relevant contacts in order to make sure that everything’s alright and the doctors of the hospital assured him that everything was already in control. However, he still chose to visit in the morning with a bouquet of flowers in his one hand to welcome her return and a basket of fruits on the other to give to her parents. He hit his pocket and smiled upon making sure that he had brought his gift.

It was their engagement’s first anniversary and his mother wanted to throw a party or to even celebrate outside but he protested upon knowing the emergency. However, he chose to still give her his present.

I hope I can make her smile this time, Jongin thought.

He was walking through the corridors of the hospital and his heart hammered against his chest in nervousness but when he was near the assigned room, the door suddenly opened and revealed his brother, Myungsoo, followed by his girlfriend, Naeun.

He quickly hid himself and silently watched them from afar. He couldn’t hear the two but he could clearly see the smile in Naeun’s lips as they shared a conversation – the smile that his presence and his gifts would never be able to elicit.

Of course, I should have known that I am not her happiness, Jongin said to himself.

A bitter smile formed on Jongin’s lips before walking back and leaving the hospital. All that Naeun saw that day was a basket of fruits the staff said was delivered for her father.

Myungsoo went home the next day as soon as Naeun had enough sleep. The girl thanked him once more before letting him leave and numerous thoughts ran in his head as he travelled back to his apartment – the things that could have been if he was not separated from Naeun.

However, as he entered his house, what welcomed him was the sight of Suzy and his table filled with various dishes. Her head was lying on the table as she sleeps and he walked towards her tucked some hair behind her ears which stir