{Donghae's POV}

I stand where she left me, outside her apartment. She just pushed me outside and told me that I should forget her. How can I when she's all I think about?

I looked at the gifts he threw at me. Besides the restaurant dinner that we were supposed to have, I looked at my brithday gifts. I opened the soft gift, and saw that it was a shirt that says, 'World's Hottest Teacher'. At the back of it, it also says, 'Too bad he's taken by me'. An arrow was pointing to my right, where Jieun would usually be. She even designed it for me. I smiled with tears at the cute shirt. I want to wear it when we go to one of our dates in the future... If we'll have again.

I saw another box and curiously eyed it for a while before deciding to open it. I gently removed the wrapper and saw a box with the name of a branded watch that I had always wanted. (Chapter 12)

She saved all her money for this watch. She must have even gotten a job. just to buy this, and what did I do to her? I feel so bad and guilty. I'm so sorry, Jieun, so sorry.

-----FLASHBACK-----

When Jieun left, Yoona took my attention. "Oppa, you aren't busy right?" I wasn't able to answer her when she already pulled me away. "Yoona--" "Oppa! Happy Birthday! I'm gonna take you to places I want for us to go!" She yelled and smiled. She was practically dragging me out. "Don't you want to take my car?" I asked and I saw her eyes sparkle. 

We drove to the restaurant she told me to go to. During most of the ride, she did all the talking. Even at the restaurant, I kept it simple and boring. I want her to see my boring side, but she seems blinded and only sees a good side of me. "Yoona--" "Oppa, I know that this will be sudden, but do you have a girlfriend?" She asked me. I can't say no, because I have, but I also can't say yes because she'll interrogate me more. "Why do you ask?" I asked her back. "Well, you seem like to have a girlfriend, but since you're not saying anything, I'd like to be in that position." She batted her eyelashes and I gulped. "I--"

"Have a girlfriend? I thought so. I just want to have a good time with you. I even treated you dinner," she said and sighed. "Yoona, things are complicated. Work is important right now, and I don't think it's polite to say those words. It makes you sound like a ." I widened my eyes when I found out that I accidentally said those words. I looked at her with her surprised expression. "Yoona, I--" She stood up and was about to leave when I grabbed her arm. "I'm sorry. I want to apologize. Let me take you home, please." I know I was wrong. It was so rude of me to say that.

The ride on the car was awkward. I know I had to apologize. "Yoona, what I had said, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say those words." I said and sighed. What was wrong with me today? "It's okay Donghae. I really shouldn't say those words," she said and just smiled. Now I know why she's a model. She has a beautiful face. 

"Well, good night, Donghae oppa." She said and went out of the car. "Good night, Yoona." I said and drove away. I went home feeling so tired. I closed my eyes thinking of something disturbing. Why do I feel like I've forgotten something?

-----END OF FLASHBACK-----

I hate myself. I have forgotten about her. Why did I get into Yoona's temptation.

{End of POV}

What is life without you? I feel so lost and empty. I looked at the clock beside my bed and saw that it was 1:43 a.m. I wanted to sleep already, but I can't. My face was filled with my dry tears, since I couldn't cry anymore. I curled my body and hugged my knees. He's my first love, and my first heartbreak. I'm sure that I won't love any other person besides Donghae.

I sat up and groggily went to make some hot chocolate. While waiting for the water to boil, I took my laptop. I opened it and my wallpaper showed. It was the picture of me kissing Donghae's cheek, with his thumb up. He had an expression that was saying, 'I got first place, and I won the best prize out there'. I chuckled to myself as I remember his cheekiness. Is he really 5 years older than me? Because he seems to act like a 5-year old, and I feel like his noona or baby sitter. But nonetheless, I love him.

I sighed and opened a window just so I couldn't see my wallpaper anymore. It hurts. It freakin' hurts everytime I see that reminds me of him, which is almost everything. I took my cup of hot chocolate and sipped. I opened my blog and began writing. No one knows who I am. In the cyber world, I am not Jieun, but I live with a username of bluepoet09. I get quite enough number of comments, but I only reply to a few.

October 17, 2:26 a.m.

I'm still awake like how God is awake in this time. I'm wondering if there are those who also feel the same way. Three days ago, I was in heaven being in his arms. He was all I need. He defined who I am. I found light in the form of 'him'. Every positive feeling I felt before was caused by him. His presence made me feel so important as if I WAS the best thing that had happened in his life. In my life, he is the best thing that had ever happened. 

Yesterday, or two days ago, was supposed to be one of the best days for us. I prepared everything for him. I worked hard for his gifts, secretly having a job just to earn the gift that I bought for him. I went home late, and I even have to study. Even when I feel so tired, just the sight of him will make me gain my smile. But he has forgotten about my existence at that one night where we were supposed to be alone by ourselves. I guess I'm not that important to him.

Today, or hours earlier, we talked with each other. Certain incidents happened which lead to our destruction. The images of what used to be a happy and loving couple is gone. Just memories of us. I want to believe that this is all a dream, but I know that I never lived in a dream world unlike everybody else. 

Apparently, you really can't have all that is good. He was the best out there. He had everything I never thought a guy could be. He was nearly perfect. I love him. And he used to be mine. I used to wake up knowing that I will see him and smile at me. But tomorrow, or later, I'll wake up without knowing direction and light in my life because he is gone.

I resumed into drinking my hot chocolate, which had eventually cooled down. I washed my cup and went back to my laptop. To my surprise, someone had commented. 

'superfishy09 said: You must have a tough time. I guess we're the same.'

I replied, 'So you have problems with your boyriend too?'

superfishy09: Not boyfriend, but girlfriend. I love her so much that she means everything to me. I don't know how am I going to live now without her.

bluepoet09: You must love her then. She seems to be a lucky girl.

superfishy09: I don't know. I hurt her, and I'd rather die than see her in pain.

bluepoet09: Tell her your sorry then. Explain to her how you feel that you miss her and that you love her.

superfishy09: I want to. But I think she isn't ready to forgive me yet. The pain in her heart is probably still fresh.

bluepoet09: Well, try to do something sweet for her. If she does love you, then she will forgive you.

superfishy09: I'll try. Thanks for your help. Your post really reminds me of my girlfriend. I love her so much and she's probably going through a hard time without me. I know I can't live without her. Anyways, thank you for your time. Good night.

I sighed as I read him. He reminds me so much of Donghae. Superfishy09. He loves fishes and his jersey is number 09. Donghae, I really miss you already even if it's just for hours.

{Donghae's POV}

I closed my laptop and sighed. Chatting with some random blogger made me realize about how I miss my Jieun. The name even resembles her. Bluepoet09. Jieun loves poetry and literature, but I don't want to assume. I wanna win her heart. And that's what I'm going to do.

{End of POV}

It's short, and Donghae's part was somehow crappy. Please forgive me. This was supposed to be out last Wednesday, but I got a lot of school work to do. Luckily, this week will be college week, and it's just full of events and no formal classes will be held. :p

Also, a cause of my sadness is Heechul's enlistment. How can you be fine when your ultimate bias went to the army?! I know we'll still see him after one month, but two years of not performing on any show is hard. I don't even know if we will able to see his picture unless he tweets. *sighs*

He took my heart with him to the training camp.

Oppa, please be healthy and take care. I will miss you until you return. Love, your loving wife fan.