Chapter 67

“Omo… Dara-yah,” My makeup artist unnie shakes her head while applying concealer below my eyes, “Did you not sleep well last night? Your black circles under you eyes are much worse.”

“Ah, sorry unnie…” I say with an apologetic smile, “I was a bit nervous last night and couldn’t sleep properly…”

“Aigoo… what’s there to be nervous about! You’ll do great, like you always do.” She continues to blend in the makeup on my face as I think about the real reason I couldn’t sleep a wink last night.

~*Flashback*~

As my hand connects with Sohee’s cheek, I can’t help but note that this is the second time I had slapped my cousin.

We were standing just in front of the door inside my apartment, I had brought her inside since she had started yelling at me from the moment we saw each other. But now I just wanted her gone.

“Get out. Now.” I say with a deadly glare.

“W-What?!” She replies, while covering her cheek with her hand.

“I don’t want to deal with this any longer, Sohee.” I start, but the anger and frustration that I had locked inside of me for so long made me keep going. “You come here, to my house, using the set of keys I had given you long ago, uninvited, and to what? Tell me how much of a horrible person I am for ruining your life?”

“You are ruining my life!” Sohee talks back, not seeming to hold back at all, “First, you still my rightful spot next to Jiyong oppa. And now you do that ing interview to rub it in my face?!” Surprisingly, tears start to form at the corner of her eyes.

“Why did you even mention me in that interview! Do you know how much trouble you have caused for me?” She begins to break down, but manages to tell me what’s been happening.

Apparently, my interview ended up working just as we had all hoped. It had produces fans and died down the hate I was originally getting, it helped people believe in me and connect with my story and background. However, it also caused some to dig deeper into the truth, discovering Sohee’s real role behind all of this. Somehow, they put two and two together, discovering that Sohee had also auditioned to become Jiyong’s backup dancer from the third and final contestant that auditioned with us. With this, “netizens”, or what Sohee called them began harassing her online and even showing up at her school causing her classmates to ostracize her.

As I watched my younger cousin break down in tears in front of me, hearing those words and the outcome of my interview hurt my heart. Although, I wanted Sohee to learn her lesson, I never wanted her to be bullied to the extent that she had to drop out.

“My life is a living hell and it’s all because of you!” She screams before wailing again, making my ears hurt.

“You’re right.” I finally say with a sigh and brush my fingers through my hair, “It is my fault.”

This silences her and she looks up at me in surprise. Surprise that I agreed with her… for now.

“It’s me, auntie and uncle’s fault for spoiling you so much that you can’t even see karma when it slaps you in the face.” I continue and cross my arms, trying to stop myself from shaking, “Sure, you may be thinking that me, Jiyong, or even YG sajangnim had caused you this suffering. But how about think of this for a change? Who was it that began to lie from the very beginning? To all of us? Who was the one so selfish that she used her cousin for her own personal gain? Who was the one who went behind all of our backs, pinning us against each other, and to only be found out in the end? Was that all me? Did I insert into that tiny head of yours that you should be a b*tch and turn your back on the one person who actually cared about you?”

For a moment, things were silent as I stared back at Sohee who was at a loss of words. I felt the threat of tears building at the rim of my eye, but before they could fall turned away so that my back was to her.

“The only thing I am guilty of was loving you like a sister.” I try to say steadily, “Now get out of my house.”

To my surprise, after a few minutes and some sniffles, Sohee stormed out without another word.

~*End of Flashback*~

“There we go…” The make-up artist unnie’s voice brings me back to real life and has me look towards the mirror, “You’re all done. Time to get changed.”

The make-up was lightly done, with eyeliner and mascara and a bit of blush. But my face looked awfully pale, more than usual, but I remember that this was part of my role. I was supposed to be a girl who is sick and getting closer and closer to death.

As she gets my stylist, I shiver with nerves as I try to refocus and get my mind away from Sohee and Jiyong. After last night, the one person I wanted to call more than anything was Jiyong.

After that text I sent, he had been considerate in not contacting me at all, much to my dismay and relief. I wanted to call him, to tell him that Sohee had came and that I once again turned my back on my family. I wanted to hear him tell me that I did the right thing and that Sohee needed to get a taste of her own medicine. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. But, I did miss him. A lot. To the point that Kiko didn’t even matter anymore.

“Ah, there’s my girlfriend.” I hear TOP’s voice come from the door, just as I had finished changing into a simple dress and cardigan. “Looking as deathly as ever.” He smirked. His hair was down, slightly covering his face, and he was wearing a leather jacket and jeans.

“That’s horrible.” I reprimanded him while slapping his arm, “Did you just finish your first shoot?”

“Yeah! The motorcycle scenes are done. Riding a motorcycle is really cool.” He says with a grin.

I look at him skeptically, “Were YOU really the one who rode it?”

He paused then sheepishly admitted, “No… BUT, apparently we are going to ride it for real in the later shots. So be excited.”

“Ugh. No way. I didn’t know the end of my life would be so soon.” I pinched my nose bridge and sighed while shaking my head.

“Whatever, your loss. But anyways, Director Lee is calling for you.” He places a hand on my shoulder and winks, “It’s showtime.”

~*Jiyong’s POV*~

My finger hovered over the call button as I stare at the name of the contact. ‘Dara’. ‘Dara’. ‘Dara’. But like always, after an eternity of wasting my time, I toss my phone to the side, unable to pull through.

I lie backwards on my bed and stare up at the ceiling. It’s killing me that I can’t talk to her, hear her voice, see her face, or even say her name. What could she be doing? Is she eating well? Is she crying or hurt?

Each question led me back to our fight the night before all hell broke loose with that article on me and Kiko. How we both acted that led us here. Slowly, I kept doubting if she really did believe in us. Did she think I was cheating on her with Kiko? The mere idea of it sent daggers to my chest. I couldn’t even come to imagine how’d she ever believe an absurdity such as that. And it made it worse thinking that it could be the reason our relationship ends.

That thought alone was enough to push me to call her. I couldn’t stand letting her think that such a thing was even a possibility. But as soon as I reached for my phone, it began to ring. Hopes rose then quickly fell as soon as I saw who was calling: YG.

“Hello.” I answered, trying to be polite. But in all honesty, I was as pissed as hell.

“Ah Jiyong. You sound good.” YG’s voice booms through the speaker. “Have you been eating well?”

“Why are you calling me?” I reply, uninterested in making small talk.

“Just checking in on you, of course. See if you are keeping to your schedule.” He pauses as if waiting for me to say something, anything. But I don’t. “Well then, have you seen Dara-sshi’s article yet?”

I grind my teeth at the mention of her, “No. Why?”

“Ah, well, I don’t know if you’ve heard but it went quite successfully. It seems like she’s wowed everyone over with her bubbly charm.” He lets out a small laugh, “She really did a great job.”

It was something I had already known. Since the moment that article came out I reread it over and over and over again, to the point that I could still see it in my head. I even went through all the comments, ensuring that there was nothing but good to say about her. YG was right that she did a great job, and yet I had doubted and reprimanded her for it.

“That’s great.” I reply, growing tired of talking to him, “Well, if all is fine. I’d like to get back to work.”

“I understand, Jiyong. I’ll let you go then.” YG replies curtly, “Oh and say hi to Kiko for me when you see her.” And the line goes dead.

It took all my might not to throw my phone across the room. With that last sentence, it had confirmed my suspicion. I quickly dialed the number of my manager and as soon as he picked up, barked into the phone, “So? What did you find?”

“You were right, Jiyong. The company that released the article about you and Kiko… they were paid a big sum of money to release it…” My manager said quietly into the phone.

There was no mistake now. From the moment that article came out, I had a growing feeling there was something wrong. Usually, when I come to Japan, YG makes extra certain that nothing comes up when it comes to Kiko and I since he knows there’s a chance of us meeting… It got to the point that certain magazine and new sites already disregard any pictures of us together, since YG always pays them a great sum of money to keep quiet and not stir trouble. One of those news sites includes the one in particular that released this article…, which could only mean one thing:

“Let me guess… the person who graciously paid them off is none other than…”

“Yes… Yang Hyun Suk sajangnim…”

My hand tightens around my phone as I start to see red, “Thanks, hyung. And remember… don’t tell anyone about this.”

“Understood…”

~*Dara’s POV*~

“CUT!!” I wince and feel even more defeated as Director Lee screams through his megaphone for the hundredth time, “Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. CUUUUUT!”

I watch him angrily push himself out of his chair and stomp towards me. I gulp knowing what’s coming next, just by looking at the anger and frustration in his eyes.

“Dara-sshi.” He begins as he begins all of his rants. “How hard is it to talk into a phone? Hm?” He points at the payphone that we are standing right in front of. “TALK into it. THINK of your boyfriend who you had left because you’re DYING. FEEL bad for leaving him without a word.” He emphasizes every word with hand gestures, waving them in the air sometimes. “Can you do that for me? Can you at least have some emotion on that pretty face of yours?!”

“Yes…” I bow my head, “I’m sorry, Director Lee. I’ll try it again… I’m sorry.” I apologize profusely and curse my tears from threatening to fall.

“No she’s not.” I hear a deep voice call out from the side and look up to see TOP coming towards us, “Director Lee, let me get a chance to speak with her. This is her first time after all… It’ll only take a minute.”

The director looks from me to him before scoffing and throwing his hands in the air again, “This girl. Always causing trouble for EVERYONE! Fine, but after she better do it in one take or else we’re moving on without it!” He mumbles nonsense to himself before returning back to his seat.

TOP grabs a hold of your arm and pulls you off to the side, away from all the lights and cameras.

“I’m sorry… TOP… I-“ I begin but he quickly turns me around and grabs me by the shoulders.

“Stop saying sorry.” He says firmly, “Just breathe. Relax.”

I do as he says and take in a deep breathe, but as I let it out I just feel my whole body shake with nervousness. “This is… so much harder than I expected. I-I thought there would be a script of some sort. SOMETHING for me to base it off of… I don’t know what it feels like to know that I’m dying!” I stop myself, not wanting to be one to complain and bother him more.

“I know. It’s hard. I had to get used to it before too.” He says with a kind smile, “Think of it this way. Maybe you aren’t dying, but think of something, anything, that could bring you close enough to feel something. Enough to make you emote. If you can’t generate the emotions on spot, think of something sad instead. Maybe your puppy dying or something.”

“I never had a puppy.” I can’t help but correct him.

“Well, whatever! You know what I mean.” He says with a sigh but pats my head, “You can do this. Just relax and stop thinking so much.”

That phrase repeats in my head, thinking of the time Youngbae said that to me after my tryout days ago. I guess some things never change.

“Oh,” TOP’s eyes lighten up as he rummages through his pockets. He pulls out his cellphone and hands it to me, “This might make you feel better. I know you guys are in a fight, but try having a listen. Maybe you’ll find inspiration from it.”

I give him a puzzled look before checking his phone. On the screen, I see Jiyong’s name under ‘Voicemail’ with a play button next to it. I look up again at TOP and he nods his head before pressing the button for me. I slowly bring it up to my ear, not sure of what to expect.

“Oh, hey hyung. It’s me Jiyong.” I hear Jiyong’s voice and instantly my heart beats faster. Oh god, I missed him. “Sorry for calling you so suddenly. You’re probably busy with who knows what…” He laughs awkwardly, the tension is clear over the phone, “Anyways, I’m calling because… well, Bom got annoyed with me for calling her so much about Dara. She threw a fit and told me I should call you instead… Have you guys been hanging out recently? Is she doing okay? What have you two been doin—aish,, nevermind I don’t want to know.” I raise a hand to my mouth, wanting to answer him to tell him I was fine but missed him. “She… told me not to call her. So I don’t want to bother her and make her more upset…but I can’t help but worry about her, you know?” I hear him sigh on the other end, “Anyways, if you guys are hanging out, make sure she’s eating right… don’t let her skip meals… she tends to do that when she’s working too hard. And if she ever doubts herself or is down because of work…tell her that she’s the most capable and hardworking person you’ve ever seen… and that she is what makes the impossible possible…” My heart flutters at his words. This whole time he’s been worried about me…

“Ah! But don’t say it’s from me! Just say it yourself. But don’t take too much credit if she’s touched by it! Remember that I’ll come back from Japan soon, so don’t even think abou—“ The message suddenly cuts off leaving me craving to hear his voice again. I look up at TOP before handing him back his phone.

“That idiot talked for too long. I guess he doesn’t know that there’s a time limit on voice messages…” TOP smiles while shoving it back in his pocket, “So? How are you feeling?”

“Better.” I reply honestly, “Thank you for sharing that with me. Even though you probably weren’t supposed to.”

He shrugs, “It’s his fault for being stupid enough to leave a message.”

“PARK SANDARA!” The director’s voice echoes, “Are you ready to begin?” He sounded much calmer now.

“Yes!” I reply and quickly run back to set.

“Good luck!” I hear TOP call out to me as I wave back at him before arriving in front of the payphone.

“I’m ready, Director Lee.” I say and give a polite bow before picking up the phone and placing it behind my ear. In no time, ‘action’ is yelled and the whole area around us goes quite.

Slowly, I can hear the song playing in my head, Gummy sunbaenim’s voice echoing the words ‘I’m sorry’… ‘I’m sorry’. My mind flashed images of Jiyong’s face… worried, happy, upset, angry… and seeing him in some apartment staring at his phone in the dark. What he must be thinking… feeling… not knowing what I’m doing and if I was mad at him. My heart burned at the thought of him, and that burn slowly crept up my chest, into my throat, and eventually to my eyes, pushing out a few drops of tears down my cheeks.

“I’m sorry…” I whispered softly into the phone first. My voice cracking just a little, “I’m sorry…” I close my eyes, releasing more tears down my cheeks, “I’m sorry….”

A few seconds pass before finally, I hear ‘cut’. I look up from my blurry eyes towards the direction of Director Lee, his lips formed in a straight line. He was silent, the most silent I’ve ever heard him, until finally I see a twitch at the corner of his lips.

“Alright, moving on.” He grunts and pushes himself out of the chair, moving towards the direction of the next location.

Slightly, unsure of what was happening, I turn to look at TOP who has a smile set on his face before giving me a thumbs-up and mouthed ‘You did well’.

The rest of the day goes well in terms of filming. Majority of the scenes are just on our own in two different locations, so after the telephone scene TOP and I rarely saw each other. My scenes run smoothly and quickly, with getting it down in one or two shots depending on the angles. The director even suddenly mentioned that there was an extra clip he got of me; apparently during the time I was on break and looking out into the water from the beach. The waves and sand reminded me of the beach date Jiyong had took me to, before he left, bringing back memories of better days. The scene was ‘perfect’ and the director had it recorded without me even knowing.

But as I change outfits, my newfound confidence begins to diminish as I think towards the scenes we are about to shoot. As I exit the changing room, I slowly make my way to the set, which was a huge garage-like sort of room. Tables, chairs, a bed, and a couch were set up, aligned with a bunch of gadgets all over the place, making it look like a real room. I glide my hand over the motorcycle parked on the side and run the scenes we will be recording in this room.

As soon as TOP joins us, changed into a new outfit as well while sporting glasses, we begin filming immediately. It took us a bit of time to warm up to each other and get rid of the awkwardness we both naturally had towards one another. Wrapping my arms around his neck, hugging him, holding onto his arm, we had to do all the things that made us look like a real couple. The director gave us little guidance on what to do, so most of it we just came up with ourselves. Although this was all acting, I couldn’t help but wonder how Jiyong would react… once he saw this video.

“He’s going to kill me.” TOP suddenly says as he holds onto my arm as I hug him from behind, “He’s going to absolutely rip my head off.”

I chuckle nervously, “No, he wouldn’t do that…” I say but suddenly not too sure. I have yet to see a jealous dragon… and who knows what that’d be like.

TOP and I look at each other ‘lovingly’ but just end up laughing to ward off the awkwardness of it all until the director yelled ‘cut’.

“Alright. Kiss scene next. Dara, TOP sit in front of the bike. Who has the rings?!” Director Lee yells into the crowd and I watch as a bunch of people scatter to find the rings. A knot begins to build in my stomach as I sit next to TOP, getting as close to him as possible.

“This is it. The big scene.” TOP whispers towards me as someone hands him two metal rings. “You nervous?”

I nod and give him a weak smile, “Yeah… sorry. I had garlic for lunch earlier.”

He chuckles and gives me a goofy grin. “We had the same lunch remember? So garlic and garlic cancel out.”

I laugh as I watch him put on before asking, “Aren’t you nervous?”

“Yeah.” He replies honestly and looks at me, “I always get nervous when it comes to kissing scenes.”

“Alright! TOP get ready, Dara have your hand out… and ACTION!”

My minds spins at how quickly we were jumping into it, but I have no time to think as TOP was already moving. He slowly places the metal ring into my finger and looks at me. I try to appear happy, but the knot in my stomach just gets tighter and tighter. With shaky fingers, I slowly slip it onto my finger and admire it before turning back to him. I almost scream when I see his face getting closer, his arm wrapping around my shoulder…. Pulling me closer… and closer… and…

“CUT!” The director yells before our lips touch, “SANDARA! Don’t look so constipated!”

The whole set burst out laughing, including TOP as I look around horrified he had just said that. I bow my head and hide away in shame into TOP’s arm, wondering if I really did look that bad.

“I could barely hold it in!” TOP keeps laughing while slapping his knee with his hands, “You looked so terrified!”

“Shut up!” I hit him again and again. “You’re making me nervous!”

“How? I didn’t do anything!” He says with an innocent face.

“It’s those eyes of yours! Are you trying to give me a heartattack!?” I retort.

“I was born with these and will have them until the day I die, so stop complaining!” He talks back before turning to the director who was clearly enjoying himself, “Director, Dara will stop looking so constipated, let’s continue!”

“Augh! Choi Seunghyun!”

The director calls action again and we are thrown into the scene once more. This time I’m more prepared and begin getting into character. What would I do if I received a couples ring…? I asked myself and the giddiness instantly filled my chest. I turn and give a wide smile to TOP, after just receiving the ring, happiness and joy projecting out of me as I lean into him and snuggle my head against his shoulder. I feel him stiffen a little before finally he reaches up to my chin, brushes my hair aside, and brings me to look at him. We stare into each other’s eyes for a second more before he gets closer. I slowly close my eyes and stay very still, expecting to feel his lips and then…

There they were. It was soft and warm but only lasted for a second before the director yelled cut. I open my eyes and see TOP had already pulled away and was blushing slightly. I, too, felt my cheeks heat up but try to shake it off.

“One more time!” Director Lee calls out while looking at the screen beside him. “TOP grab her by the arm again and pull her in. And hold the kiss for a little longer.”

We run the scene again… and again… and again, each time ending with a kiss. It felt strange, to be honest, feeling someone’s lips whom I didn’t love on mine. There was no spark, no burning desire, or giddiness that surfaced like when I kissed Jiyong… it was just a kiss with TOP and nothing more.

Finally, after a few more takes, the Director was satisfied, letting us relax and breate a sigh of relief.

“Sorry.” TOP suddenly says with an awkward cough, “Sorry for… kissing you so much…” He shifts his gaze away from me and plays with his fingers.

I look at him in surprise, since I had already gotten over the awkwardness of it, “It’s fine… nothing to apologize for. Don’t get awkward with me again! We still have more scenes to shoot!”

A smile appears on his handsome face as he nods, “Alright, alright. Let’s get going. I’m excited for this next scene.”

“Why? What is it?”

He gives me a devilish grin with crazed eyes, “We’re taking the bike for a spin.”

Oh God, watch over me.

~*Jiyong’s POV*~

I collapse onto the couch as my whole body molds into the cushions, parts of my back and legs aching like no other from the modeling jobs I had to do today. I let out a deep sign into the air as I stared at the ceiling, once again imaging what Dara would be doing right now.

The more I thought about her, the more I remember the discoveries I’ve made about YG. I didn’t know how I was going to handle it or confront him. He is as close as an uncle to me, someone I consider family, but it’s times like these that make me despise the lengths he goes as a businessman. Like Kiko had always said, he’s a businessman who makes the tough decisions…

Which brought up another hard question, was whether or not I should tell Dara about this. About YG’s plan? It’s clear that he either knows that Dara and I are still seeing each other or he’s set on keeping us apart. But why?

But whatever the reason, one thing was for certain, I had to figure out a way to get back to Korea as soon as possible, or else I might die from missing her.

Suddenly, my phone rings in my pocket. I lazily fetch it out and place it against my ear without looking, still preoccupied by my game plan on getting me back home to Dara.

“Hello?” I speak, expecting it must be either my manager or Kiko. But the silence tips me off that it is neither.

“Hi.” The sweet soft voice I had been missing jolts me awake as I suddenly push myself up into a sitting position. My mouth is unable to produce words as I wonder if I’m dreaming. If I was imagining things. “Am I bothering you?”

It was really her, it was my Dara.

“No! You aren’t! You aren’t bothering me. I was just surprised…” I let the words spill out of my mouth as my lips curve into a smile, “I thought you didn’t want to speak with me.”

“I didn’t…” She responds instantly, hitting me hard in the chest, “at first…” She continues and silence again, “But I missed you.”

My heart sings at her words and my smile grows wider as I lean my back against the couch, thanking the heavens that things aren’t over. That she still loves me.

“I missed you too, Dara-yah…” My voice cracks as I feel tears threatening to come out. “I miss you so much….”

She’s silent again but I don’t care. Just having her on the other line was good enough for me, even if she doesn’t say a word.

“I just wanted to call you… to tell you I was fine.” She speaks again. “That you don’t have to worry too much about me… I’ve been busy, but I’ve been eating. And everyone’s been looking out for me.”

I nod to her voice and close my eyes, “I’m glad…” I try to think of more to say, but nothing comes. It’s been so long that I forgot what it’s like to talk to her normally.

We both remain silent, listening to each other’s breathing. I can faintly hear her footsteps in the background, making me assume she must be outside or on her way home. But suddenly, a topic pops into my head and the words spill out instantaneously.

“Ah, about Kiko…” I begin, as I know I’m treading on thin ice by the mere mention of her name, “there’s really nothing between us. Nothing at all. What you saw or might have heard, it’s not the trut—“

“I don’t want to talk about it.” She suddenly cuts in, leaving no room for more. I deflate a little inside, not being able to explain to her and not knowing what she’s thinking.

“Just not right now.” She continues and adds a heavy sigh, “I’ll wait to hear it when you come home, Ji.”

Now it’s my turn to sigh, “Alright…”

There was the silence again. I hated the awkwardness that was happening between us. It was frustrating not being able to speak everything I wanted to say, not knowing how she might take it or if it’ll lead to another spiral of fights and hurt feelings.

“Please come home, Jiyong…” I hear her plead, tightening, “Please just come back.”

My heart breaks at the desperation in her voice, the same desperation that mimics mines to be with her right at this moment. But what was more torturous was that I couldn’t give her the answer she was looking for.

“I’m sorry… It’s not that simple…” I welcome her silence as I curse everything that led me here. To be away from her.

“Soy sauce crab paste?” It was as soft as a whisper through the phone. I closed my eyes and let out another sigh while gritting my teeth, remembering that these were her special words... Words that I promised to obey, no matter what. I wanted more than anything to fulfill her wishes.

“Dara… this is no time for games…” I say regrettably and was about to explain to her the situation with YG when the line went dead. My body froze as I slowly bring the phone in front to see that the line disconnected. Without another thought, I tried calling her again, but it went straight to her voicemail.

“Sh*t…” I cursed silently to myself and buried my face into my hands. Things were getting better. She even called me herself willingly and in the end I ruined it. Why couldn’t I just say ‘yes’? Why couldn’t I just drop everything and tell her I’m on my way home?

~*Dara’s POV*~

My phone falls from my hand, hitting the gravel floor hard, shattering it instantly.

But that wasn’t what mattered at that moment.

Two figures. Standing in the parking lot in front of my apartment. A middle-aged man with black short hair and glasses, fairly tall and thin. Next to him, was a woman around the same age. Her hair just as black that hung down to her chin, a chin that was pointy and defined. A nose and eyes that resembled my own. Both just as shocked to see me as I was once I realized who they both were.

After all these years… They were finally here.

My parents.

*BlueNote*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Omo. What is this? Another update only a DAY after the last one?
Must be a miracle!
But yes, I hope you enjoy it!
Is this constant updating going to last?
I have no clue honestly. But I will try my best.
TBH, your words/comments have given me that much more of a push to keep writing!!
So thank you guys for being so supportive an understanding!!!
I hope to not let you down.

Until next time's update (which will hopefully be soon)

*If you are confused about layout/weird details that seem wrong+right at the same time, please read the story description!*