Chapter 28

“So… what’s going on?” Youngbae asks while keeping a firm gaze.

I look down at the tray of food in front of me not knowing where to begin, what to tell, what not to tell. I glance around the YG cafeteria and see that no one else is around. Even though we were alone, I still felt uncomfortable saying anything.

“What do you mean?” I try to sound nonchalant but clearly I am nervous.

He sighs and puts down his chopsticks, “You know what I mean… C’mon Dara, tell me what’s going on. Don’t I deserve that much?”

I look at him and feel guilt. You do. I know you do. You have been there for me all this time… and supporting me. Without you, I would’ve been nothing. Without you, I wouldn’t have been here today. I wanted to say all of this to him, my very special person. But… what about Sohee? I’ve hurt her, I’ve betrayed her trust… of course, she’d be mad at me and of course, I’d have to pay the price. If I told him everything this moment, it would ruin her.

“I don’t know where to start…” I say as I pick at my food.

“Okay. Then let’s start with the extra practice session with Jiyong.” He offers, “You do realize everyone is still paranoid from the last backup dancer right? When we hear stuff like that, although it might be over the top, we get anxious and worried that we are going to have another situation again.”

I look up at him with realization of how I must have appeared, “I-I had no idea…”

He smiles a little and continues, “I knew you wouldn’t. And I know why you asked Jiyong too. It’s because you felt that since he is your partner in the choreography, might as well practice with the real deal, right?”

I nod surprised he knew my exact thoughts. “Dara, I like to say I know you pretty well. But the thing is, not everyone else does. They don’t understand the way you think and how much you strive for perfection. Your actions appear differently to others than to me. So although it may be silly right now, you should probably just keep that in mind and be wary about what you say and do. At least until everyone knows you better.”

He smiles at me and I can’t help but wonder what I did to have such a great person by my side.

“Next, why did you so easily give up your part to Sohee?” I immediately tense up at hearing my cousin’s name. “Knowing you and Jiyong, you guys would’ve practiced until dawn to make sure you perfected it. So I know it’s not true that you weren’t ready.”

Once again, nothing can get past Dong Youngbae…

My mind is working like crazy to come up with a plausible excuse, anything to drive attention away from the fact Sohee and I do know each other and in fact are cousins. I can’t let him know Sohee’s true feelings for Jiyong. I can’t let him know. I need to protect my baby cousin, it’s the least I could do after what I did.

“Well…” I begin, trying to form the remaining of my sentence, “It’s true I was ready and comfortable with the choreography… but… the thought of being on live TV with such an important part, scared me. I felt that I haven’t been trained enough to know what to do on stage in front of so many people. So, when the opportunity came, I took it.” I try to smile to seem more convincing. “Besides, Sohee-ssi was originally the one who got the audition, she should have more stage time than myself.”

Youngbae is staring at me, once again, digging into the depths of my soul. It’s obvious he doesn’t believe me but I try my best to stand firm and not show my wavering eyes.

“Really…?” He asks skeptically.

“Yep.”

“That’s really the reason?”

I nod and smile, “I’m not as strong as you think Youngyang.”

He ponders my answer for a bit, still not believing it but he soon gives up. “Well, we are going to have to fix that, YG trainee.”

I sigh in relief and smile, “I’ll work hard!”

We both laugh and continue eating our food.

“You sure there’s nothing else you want to tell me?” He asks between bites.

I keep my head down towards my food but make it as clear as possible, “Yep, nothing!”

~*Jiyong’s POV*~

“What?”

“Sohee and Dara switched parts for Music Bank.” Jae Wook repeats while stretching.

“But… Wait, do you know why? What happened?” I ask, completely confused at this new arrangement.

“Well, Dara worried that she wasn’t ready for the performance. She didn’t go into detail about it or anything. She just said she was sorry and that she didn’t feel ready.”

I think back to last night when we were finished practicing. That’s weird. She was the one who said that she was ready. I remember her saying that she felt really good about it and knew what feelings to portray.

‘Thanks to you, I finally understand how to feel it. At Music Bank, I’ll blow everyone away!’

Her smile and silly gestures are still fresh in my mind. Why would she back out of it so suddenly?

“I know what you’re thinking. Weird right?” Jae Wook cuts into my thoughts. “I thought the same thing… definitely not how I’d thought she would be… But I guess everyone has their vulnerable moments.”

I can only nod, still not fully sure that it was a moment of vulnerability or doubt… The Dara I practiced with last night was not someone who possessed those qualities. There must be something more… something that I can’t seem to think of.

“Ah, also, I heard she asked you to practice with her last night?”

“Yeah, after practice she asked me for help.” I answer as I make my way over to the middle of the dance studio and begin stretching as well.

“Didn’t you have to work on the songs for your album?”

I shrug, “Yeah, but it wasn’t a big deal. I was almost done with them anyways.”

“Hmmm, is that so…” Jae Wook’s tone caused me to look at him questioningly.

“What?” I ask.

“Nothing… Well, not saying that I think Dara is like this… but I was reminded of what she said at auditions… about her reasons for being here.”

I immediately know what he is referring to. Dark thoughts began to spread throughout my body and mind. It felt like poison.

“Well, I am not one to make hasty judgments but I know that the others are speculating and feeling a bit uneasy. Just keep in mind the hardship we went through last time.”

I’m unable to respond as my mind fights off the poisonous thoughts. It can’t be something like that… I got to know her. It’s not like that.

I feel Jae Wook’s hand on my shoulder, waking me up from my mental battle.

“C’mon. No need to worry about it now. There are things we don’t know and understand but eventually, the truth will come out. But until then, we have to work with what we have.”

Somehow, his words put me at ease and I nod, “Thanks hyung.”

“No problem, kid. Now, let me show you the new choreography.”

As he prepares the music, I stare at my reflection in the mirror thinking about what Jae Wook said.

The truth will come out.

*BlueNote*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
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