Chapter 29

~*Two Days Later*~

“Alright everyone! G-Dragon will be going on in 10 minutes, please be prepared!”

I look straight ahead at the mirror in front of me. The outfit I am wearing is definitely not what I’m used to. I scan myself from head to toe, my hair is down and slightly curled at the end, my eyes have a smoky look to them with winged eyeliner. I am wearing a simple black shirt that cuts off just above my belly button, and a light pink high waist shorts with blank knee high boots. How am I going to dance in this?!

I notice the other girls’ outfits and notice that they all have the same color scheme and ‘bareness’ as me. Facing back towards the mirror, I look at myself one more time before giving up. This is the outfit I was given, guess I just got to get used to it.

My attention turns towards Sohee who is chatting away with Bom and Minzy, not even bothering to acknowledge me. It’s been like this for the past two days already. The most I’ve ever gotten from her was a glare. I look down at the bracelet around my wrist and wonder what more I should do. Have I really hurt her that badly? Even though I’m family to her? My heart feels heavy at the thought that although we are family and we’ve supported each other for so long… this is what it has come down to, over a man.

I then realize that I haven’t gotten to really see or talk to Jiyong since our late night practice together. He’s been busy with recording, photo shoots, and even commercials while I’ve had manage practice and secret training with Jae Wook. The only time we finally saw each other was when we arrived here at the set of Music Bank. We passed by each other in the hall, our eyes met, and I wanted to apologize and thank him for helping me but there was no time. He was rushed away and I was left standing alone in the hallway.

“G-Dragon’s backup dancers, five minutes!”

I move towards where the rest of the girls and guys were gathering and smile, “Good luck everyone!”

As usual, Sohee ignores me and I’m not surprised by the awkward and insincere smiles the rest were giving me. Since two days ago, all they’ve been were polite and awkward around me. Even CL. I still try to keep a smile up but it’s hard when almost everyone has changed. Well, almost everyone.

“Good luck! Let’s do this!” Youngbae says while putting his arm around me. I blush at the contact but immediately feel warm inside. Youngbae is still at my side. Seungri, TOP, and Daesung all cheer and bring in everyone for a group hug.

We then begin to make our way to the back of the stage where we meet up with Jiyong. It should be no surprise at how different he looks when he’s about to perform but I just couldn’t keep my eyes off of him. His hair was spiked up in the middle and he was dressed in a white jacket and pants with a white graphic tee on the inside. Seeing him like this reminded me that the Jiyong I’ve practiced with and gotten to know was indeed G-Dragon. The G-Dragon that I admire.

We all gather together in a circle with our hands in the center as we wait for Jiyong to speak. He looks at each of us until finally his eyes are on me.

“This is our first live performance with a new team… with a new family.” My eyes immediately glance towards Sohee when he says the word family, but I get no response. “We’ve worked hard together, and I believe that we will have many successful performances from here on.”

I see everyone is nodding and smiling at Jiyong. “But for now, let’s rock the stage tonight. Let’s do this!” Jiyong smiles and raises his voice.

“1, 2, 3, Fighting!” We all cheer while throwing our hands up.

Even though it was just a few words, I was filled with encouragement and energy. He is even a great leader. I watch from afar as his make up assistant dabs at his face. Suddenly our eyes meet and it’s too late for me to pull away. So instead, I smile and mouth ‘good luck’ to him and give him a thumbs up. At first he just stares at me until finally a small smile forms on his face. He mouths back, ‘you too’ and winks before turning away towards the stage. I felt a hard pound in my chest but just shake it off, my nerves must be getting to me…

I begin to run my part in my head making sure I knew when to get on and off. Just as I felt like I was ready, I feel a tap on my shoulder.

“How you feeling?” Youngbae pops up from behind me. “Nervous yet?”

I pout, “I don’t know. Maybe a little?”

He laughs and pinches my cheek, “Only a little? I was going to comfort you because I thought you were shaking in your boots but I guess not.”

I lightly punch his arm, “Aigoo, being such a gentleman.”

“When am I not?”

The sudden screams of the crowd interrupt our conversation, giving us the signal that G-Dragon has appeared on stage.

“Well, that’s our cue. Good luck.” He smiles and pats me on the head. I wish him luck back and make my way to my position on the side of the stage.

“Oh, and you look good.” He whispers at me before running off to his place. I blush immediately and try to calm my beating heart. Aish, is he trying to kill me with compliments!

Finally, the familiar tune comes on forcing me to focus and get in the zone. From the sidelines, I watch as G-Dragon makes his way to the center of the stage looking out into the crowd.

I find myself completely entranced in his performance again once he starts singing. Hearing his voice, I can’t help but be reminded of our time in the studio together a few days ago. I remember the lyrics that he sang to me, the feelings that I was supposed to feel while dancing with him. But it was different now. It was a different part with different feelings. I am no longer the girlfriend… but one of the other girls.

Before I knew it, it was my cue to go on stage. I make my way on with CL, Bom, and Minzy as we surround him, CL and I in the front and Minzy and Bom in the back. I let my body move to the song as choreographed and scan the audience before us. It was an amazing rush to see that many people watching us, watching me. To see everyone cheering, smiling, and screaming… even if it wasn’t for me, I wished it was. What an amazing feeling and an amazing chance to perform and entertain for all these people.

Then in a blink of an eye, I notice the guys making their way towards us, signaling for us to exit the stage. I take a quick glance at Jiyong who I see glances back at me before returning his gaze to the audience. When we make it off stage, I standby to watch the guys perform. The power and strength when they moved looked even better on stage with all the lighting and effects. They all looked like they were having the time of their lives. My eyes are drawn to Jiyong once again and watch his every move.

Finally, I see Sohee’s figure move across the stage towards Jiyong for their duet… our duet. She is dressed in a short black skirt and a white frilly top. An outfit different from me, CL, Bom, and Minzy. She still looked y but also girly and sweet. I watch as she performs the moves I perfected that night, with the man I perfected them with. I watch as he puts his hands on her the way he did with me. I watched as he looks at her the way he looked at me. I watched all this with the realization that they looked good together and wondered why it made me feel so horrible inside.

I feel a hand on my shoulder bringing me out of my torture. I turn to see Youngbae’s smiling face, which surprisingly does nothing to relieve the pain in my chest. Noticing that I’m not smiling back, his smile disappears, “Are you okay?”

I look back at the couple at the center of the stage before looking back at Youngbae, “Yes. I’m fine.” I lie.

“C’mon, we are about to go up soon, partner.” He rubs the small of my back. I give him a weak smile and nod before preparing to enter. Once we see Sohee walk away from Jiyong, we make our way onto the stage with the rest of the pairings and begin to dance the final chorus. It was undeniable that dancing with Youngbae was different. In the past two days when we’ve practiced together, I felt there was something off but couldn’t put my finger on it until now. Dancing with Youngbae was how it is when we are spending time together: fun, relaxing, and comfortable. There are moments of surprise, warmth, and support but other than that, it was nothing more and nothing less.

Dancing with Jiyong, however, was completely different. Dancing with him is exciting and scary at the same time. He makes me feel so in control and yet so vulnerable. With him as my partner, I feel lost but safe. Even from the time when I first danced with him at the auditions until now, there is an extraordinary connection between us that I can’t describe. When I dance with him, I can feel myself change for the better and dance in a way I’ve never danced before. It is a connection so strong… and so different that I was sure he could feel it too…

But looking at him now… watching him dance with someone else… with the same looks, the same movements, the same lingering touch… it seems that I’m wrong. It seems that it’s just me.

The choreography comes to an end and is time for us to leave Jiyong and Sohee on stage. Once I reach off stage, I glance back and watch as he drops to his knees, his back facing me while reaching his hand out towards Sohee who was walking off the opposite side of the stage.

“Only look at me…” he sings to Sohee… not me.

“To G-Dragon!” Everyone cheers happily as we gather around in a circle back at the YG dance studio. I watch as the guys surround Jiyong and pat him on the back as he holds the Music Bank trophy.

“Thanks everyone.” He bows and has a huge smile on his boyish face.

“Oppa is number one!” Sohee calls out with everyone chiming in with their own praises for him.

He blushes but uses his free hand to cover his eyes but not his smile. I couldn’t help but smile as well seeing how happy he was. It was an amazing performance and he definitely deserved. But why do I feel so upset?

As everyone began to chat amongst themselves and bounce around the room, I quietly slipped out to be alone. I let me feet lead me as I try to make sense of my feelings. This calls for such a celebratory mood but why do I feel so unsatisfied…?

My feet stop in front of one of the small dance studios. The one that Jiyong and I practiced in that night. I walk towards the center of the room as the lights flicker on and look around. My eyes play phantoms of Jiyong in front of me dancing, singing, and smiling at me. I can almost hear the song that he was singing… the one that I’ve never heard before… the one that I wished was for me.

“So you end up coming here.” I turn to see Sohee standing at the door, her arms crossed in front of her chest. Her eyes are still as cold and unforgiving as the past few days. “Here to reminisce your romantic moment with MY Jiyong oppa?”

“Sohee-ah.” I begin but she cuts me off.

“Don’t ‘Sohee-ah’ me.” She slowly makes her way towards me, her gaze still dead strong. “It makes me sick when you call me with such endearment.”

My heart hurts at her harsh words. She now stands in front of me, just inches from my face. “Why would you say such things… we are family, Sohee… Aren’t we?”

She scoffs at what I’ve said and pokes my chest hard.

“You? My family? More like an annoying babysitter that I could never get rid of.”

I feel the air knock out of me. Annoying babysitter? Images of Sohee and I flash before my eyes and all just shatter to pieces.

“But… I love—“

“Why are you here, Dara?” She cuts me off.

“What?”

She rolls her eyes, “Why are you Jiyong oppa’s backup dancer? How did you do it? Why are you trying to steal oppa away from me?”

“Why are you acting like this?” I retort, feeling heat and anger building up in me. My body was shaking as I clenched my fist. “Jiyong is not something that you can own! He’s not yours, he’s not mine, he’s not anybody’s! Why are you acting like… like a child?!”

“A child?!” She raises her voice at me, “I’m acting like a child?! Oh, well I’m SORRY. I guess I should act more like an adult like YOU! What should I do, hmm? Oh, I know! Maybe, next time if I don’t get what I want, I’ll go SLEEP with someone! That’s how you got here in the first place right?! You slept with YG sajangnim to get here since that’s the ONLY way you could’ve gotten here today! Should I be an adult like that?! Be a like yo—“

I can’t stop my hand before it contacts hard with her cheek. Her shriek echoes throughout the room as I watch her fall to the floor covering her face, my hand still mid-air.

And as if things couldn’t get any worse, the door of the studio swings open and there stands the last person I wanted to see us like this.

“J-Jiyong…” I say almost as a whisper.

His wide eyes move from me to Sohee who was on the ground cradling her cheek.

“What is going on in here?”

*BlueNote*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
O_O Please don't kill me. Please please please!
Another update for tonight... It's a bit late and I don't know if I will be updating again for the night...
BUT please have faith! Things will be okay in the end, I promise!

But for now, just let it all out in the comments below! 
I look forward to reading all of your reactions and thoughts!
Despite what has happened I still hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Love you all, please don't kill me <3

*If you are confused about layout/weird details that seem wrong+right at the same time, please read the story description!*