Story: Abandoned, Yet Again

Author: kariwinn

Genre: Angst

Reivewer: cherrylisa

Story title (3.5/5):

About your title, it’s not that eye-catching nor does it easily lure people in. Well, it does perk one’s curiosity but it doesn’t lure in people immediately. Your title, ‘Abandoned, Yet Again’ is fine, and if you did exclude the ‘, Yet Again’ there’ll be a lot of samples of stories that has the same title as yours. So simply I could say is that you created your title very well.

It contributed a lot to plot and was given emphasis which is a great sign that the title does have relation to the plot at all and not the other way around.

Appearance (6/10):

For the appearance, let me deal with the poster first. The poster is okay but could have been better. Let’s talk about the genres first shall we?

Genres: Your only genre is angst? I don’t think so. I guess you have also thought about psychological genre? Because, my dear, this one simply fits the category, and talking about angst, you did a great job in making it. You’ve created a mild angst and that’s good since psychological genre ties it well with angst.

Now that we’ve talked about the genres, let’s proceed to the hue.

Hue: The hue was fine. Totally fine and totally okay. No problem at all. The collision of colour was perfect, it fitted the genres perfectly. Angst and psychological genres fitted the light hue of red and gray. Although I would prefer blue and red in collision, gray is fine.

Pictures: The pictures are great, but could be better than that. The blending of the pictures wasn’t great with the background that was used. It was blended but it should have been blended more with the background.

Collision of everything: The collision of everything is okay, but as I have said, the poster could have been better than that.

The poster is great and lets out the vibe that is needed. It slightly attracts readers and delivers out the slight feeling of emotion that should be delivered out to the readers.

So after that, let’s talk about your writing style.

Your writing style is okay, descriptive and is in the first person POV. You’ve played out Yumi’s POV very well concerning how she describes her life and all. Your style of writing gives of the emotion, the angst and the sickening twist, but you could have dealt with the emotions more. You could have let Yumi describe her life more, in more descriptive way.

And as I have always stated, angst needs to be credited and because you have the psychological genre, you should have made it more descriptive, to fulfil the will of the genres and the emotions you wanted the readers to feel and take in.

The collaborations of your words are great and the structure too! So I guess that wraps it up well.

Description (8.5/10):

The description was simple and neat. Only told what should be told and what is needed to be thrown off to the readers. It didn’t throw off the whole plot except for the abandonment which states that she’ll experience it, but that’s cool.

It does lure readers in and makes us anticipate the story and what will happen in the plot because the description is that great!

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