Your POV

I woke up at noon and decided to finally get active and stop procrastinating for once.

I looked in the mirror and looked at the reflection. I touched my arm, my stomach and my thighs. I look like a decent girl, but that's because I'm tall. Anyone would tell me that I'm beautiful, but how many of them would be telling the truth?

I lifted the side of my shirt up to reveal my disgusting scars. People create scars for themselves by cutting, to relieve stress. I make my own scars to, but unconsciously. They're stretch marks. These stupid marks limited me from wearing bikinis, any shirt that isn't longer than my waist, and even changing infront of others. But like I would do that anyways. Not in this body anyways.

That's it, I'm going to change, and going to finally get rid of this stupid self and bring on the new MiYeon.

I walked into the gym and tried to just stay in the corner. I stared running on the treadmills and went to the bikes and other equipment. But all the while, I kept thinking of Myungsoo. As if I wanted to change for Myungsoo. As if me changing would make him notice me a little more.

Why does a complete stranger have so much impact on me? And someone who I barely know at that, not to mention that he's taken. This is wrong, but if he's my motivation, then I may as well use him to get the best out of me right?

"I never knew you liked to go to these places." someone said as they got onto the treadmill next to me.

I turned around and saw Woohyun with some other girl, ready to work out.

"It's time for a change I guess." I said and switched the machine off and went to lift weights.

"Are you sure a girl like you should be doing weights?" he asked.

"Are you going to stop being a nuisance?" I asked.

He shook his head and started doing weights as well.

I took in a deep breath and moved onto something else, yet he still follows, alright, if he wants to follow, then follow. I will stay here for so long that he just has to leave.

I turned my music louder and closed my eyes and began working out again.

When I opened my eyes he was still there, doing the same excercise.

I looked at my ipod and it's been two hours since I've been here. I guess he really did push me to work out more by ignoring him. i guess he isn't so bad, well at least just for this.

I went back to the treadmill and decided I will just spend the rest of the time on there.

I finally went to change and got out.

"You took a long time to change." he said.

"Wanna go to movies?" he asked and slithered his arm around my waist.

"It's ok. I need to go for a swim." I said and pointed to the swimming pool next to the gym.

"You know that working out that much in one day won't actually make you lose all your weight right?" he asked.

"Yeah I know." I said and went inside the pool area. 

I set my bag down and stripped my clothes off before placing on my goggles [ you already have your swimwear underneath lol].

I slipped in the pool and began swimming. It's been a while after I swam, not after when Hoya drowned. Hoya's my oldest brother, and he taught me how to swim before he was to leave for military training.

But, things just happened. I was too small to save him, and I think that's the reason I was sent to study all the way in the city.

I've been scared of the water for so long that it feels weird to get back into the pool.

Images of my parents screaming and my grandparents crying rushed through my head. But on the other hand, I could hear Hoya cheering me on. 

Since Hoya's death, I could never really talk to anyone at all. He was the only person I actually communicated with besides Woohyun. Actually, not even Woohyun. I barely had time for him, more like he had too much time with Sohee he didn't know about me.

I wanted to talk to someone about how much I miss Hoya. About how much I want him back, and how much I would rather take his place in death. But who would listen? All they're going to do is pity me, and give useless advice.

Useless advice isn't going to bring back Hoya.

I swam and swam and my arms seem to never tire.

I stopped for a little rest and looked at the time. Woah, that sure went fast didn't it? Maybe it's because I haven't been in the water so long that I didn't notcie time had passed.

I got out of the water and placed a towel over myself before walking to the changing room.

After showering, changing and putting on make up, I finally finished and got out of the gym at around 6pm. 

My stomach rumbled and I turned a bright crimson when people started to look at me.

I walked out and went to one of the sidewalk's stall and ordered some meat to refresh myself.

I ate whole heartedly until some people came to sit next to me. And you guessed it, those people were Myungsoo and Sohee.

"Fancy seeing you here." Sohee said and made sure that Myungsoo didn't sit next to me.

They ate while I awkwardly finished off my meal.

"Let's walk home together?" Myungsoo offered.

I nodded and paid before tagging along behind the two.

They intertwined their fingers and look so happy.

I walked slowly with my head down.

"Appa! Are you alright? i'll be there right away!" Sohee panicked.

"What's wrong?" Myungsoo asked.

"Appa said that mother just fainted. I have to go. I'll see you at home later." she said and for a moment hesitated to leave, in case I do anything with Myungsoo.

"I guess it's just us now." he said with his hands in his pockets.

"I guess so." i said and walked to the swing that was empty.

After the hectic work out, my body aches as if it got trampled over.

He sat on the other swing and gently swayed.

"What does it feel like to hold hands?" i wondered aloud.

"Didn't you date Woohyun for some time? Wouldn't you know all these things?" he asked.

I'm embarrassed to admit that I don't know any of these things, and I'm not sure if I should tell him or not.

"Woohyun, he, he, he likes to hold other girls hands." I said hesitantly.

"Why's that?" he asked calmly.

"Because he didn't have enough time to spend with me." I said and swung harder.

"He had time for other girls, even though you two were dating, and yet you still held on to him? Why would you do that?" he asked, as if I'm some crazy person.

"Because he gave me hope. Hope that I really did find love after all, that he was my love. The time that I held onto to him, was like holding onto air."I said and slowed down my pace on the swing.

The atmosphere was quiet and awkward.

"So, how does holding hands feel like?" I asked him, trying to brighten the atmosphere.

"While you were with Woohyun, have you two kissed? Hugged? Any contact at all?" he asked, concern in his voice.

"Not that I know of, no." I said.

Why would we do that? Woohyun and I were in a down low relationship, of course we wouldn't do that.

He stopped swinging and began to push my swing instead.

"You poor poor child," he muttered.

"You still didn't answer me." I said.

He stopped the swing and moved infront of me and kneeled down.

"Why did you wait at the cafe?" he asked suddenly.

"I wanted a coffee." i lied.

"Then why did you go around Seoul after you waited an hour?" he asked.

"I wanted to buy some things." I said again. This is true, because I did buy something.

"Did you think that I forgot?" he asked.

"Erm, no." I said.

"And that's why you waited right? You stupid kid." he insulted.

"Well, I'm sorry, it's not my fault that you didn't turn up. it's not my fault that I still had hope and waited but you just went off somewhere else. What did you want me to do?" I said.

I kept my head down after realising what I just said.

AIsh, I just showed the stupid side of me to him.

I want to just slap myself to another country or something so I can hide.

He helped me stand up and joined his fingers with mine.

"What do you think of holding hands?" he asked.

"It's..comfortable." I said.

I honestly don't want to let go of his hand. It feels so secure and safe. Like a solace place that I can come to when I need it.

But I know that any moment now, he would let go. But he didn't.

He walked me home and talked about random things and swung our hands a little when we were walking to the lift.

He opened the door with one hand and lead me inside.

I turned the switch on and he walked me to the couch. Suddenly, everything just became black.

I screamed and I wanted to hit myself when i realised it was just a typical black out.

Myungsoo held me tightly in his arms and this 'hug' seems nice and warm. Something I haven't felt since Hoya left.

"I'm sorry I didn't come yesterday." he whispered.

"It's ok." I said softly.

"No, it's not. I said we would have our first date. And I ruined it." he said apologetically.

"What were you planning to do on the date anyways?" I asked.

"This." he said and I felt something soft on my lips.

Er, what is that.

After a little while. He started to crack up laughing.

"You're so innocent. You didn't even know I kissed you." he laughed.

"I did know! I just didn't know how to react alright!" I argued.

"I bet you're so red right now!" he laughed.

"I am not!" I said, just in time for the lights to be back on.

"See! I told you you were red!" He laughed.

"So how does it feel to be kissed, hugged, and held hands with by me?" he winked.

"It didn't feel that great." I said and stuck my tongue out.

"Oh yeah? Do you want me to do it again huh?" he laughed and tackled me onto the bed.

"I'm sorry, once again for yesterday. But today could be our first date ok!" he said and he kissed me once again.

This kiss, hug and holding hands thing feels alright actually. Maybe it's because it's with Myungsoo.

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a/n: hi . if you're reading this, then i love you.