Well, I was thirty-five weeks, and it was official: I was on bed-rest.

I was on bed-rest because apparently my blood pressure was getting high. I was only allowed to get up when I could go shower or use the bathroom. It .

Vinny kept me company a lot. I had him camp out on the chaise in TOP and my bedroom. He could use the bed if he wanted to. It was king-sized. But Vinny insisted the chaise was fine.

TOP was officially in America. In California, that is. He and Seungri were shooting their movie, which turns out is an American version of the movie they did in 2009, Nineteen. I couldn't believe the make-up artists could make either of them look nineteen again.

Today, Carly, Julie, and Kelsey were coming over with some kind of "Art Project". They knew I was on bedrest.

The doorbell rang, and Vinny must have answered it. I sighed and pushed back my straightened hair. I was wearing a pair of sweats and a hoodie, which was fitting around my abdomen. I was HUGE.

"Nat!!" Carly roared as she, Julie, and Kelsey bounded up the stairs. I laughed and squealed as Julie dove on top of the bed, Carly on top of her.

"You guys are insane!" I laughed. Kelsey simply sat down next to me. I pressed pause on the video I was watching on YouTube. Vinny had hooked the computer up to the plasma in my room, so it acted as a monitor. I was watching a performance of Fantastic Baby. TOP, unknowing to me, had dyed the sides of his hair black, while the rest stayed blue.

"Watching your boo?" Carly asked, taking stuff out of her bag. She looked like she was white, but she was actually half-Mexican. She had long brown hair that almost went down to her but, and had the biggest s out of all of us.

I nodded. "I sure am. He dyed his hair again."

"Nuh-uh!" Julie exclaimed. She looked at the screen and I clicked play. Julie had long blonde-brown hair, and was super skinny. She was so funny and ditzy.

"If someone would have told me three years ago you would be having Top's children, I so wouldn't have believed them." Kelsey commented, watching the video. She was my best friend in high school, and had blonde hair that stopped right below her shoulders.

"Believe me, I wouldn't have believed it either." I sighed.

"I got the pictures." Vinny said, walking into the room with a huge box. He set it on the bed and sat across from me.

"What are we even doing?" I finally asked.

"We are making scrapbooks of your high school years." Carly smiled, taking out a huge blank scrapbook. "You know, so you don't forget us little people."

I laughed. "I could never forget you guys!"

Julie took out sparkly markers, glue, and glitter. "Well, just to make sure. Now, say cheese!" she took out her camera, fell back in between Carly and I, and held the camera in front of us. Kelsey and Vinny dove into the picture, too.

We all smiled, and Julie too it. I looked at the picture and laughed. "Hey! You cant tell I'm pregnant because it just shows our faces!"

"Facebook!" Kelsey smiled. "SO going on Facebook!"

Vinny took out some pictures. "Aight, so we got Nat before," He held up a picture of me in my volleyball uniform freshmen year. My hair was a lighter brown, I had no layers, no bangs, and i was my chunky size thirteen self. I also had only eyeshadow on.

"Ewww!" I squealed, snatching the picture. "Never mention that time!"

"And we have Nat after." Vinny continued. It was a picture of my senior year volleyball picture. I was skinny, my hair was dyed a chocolate brown, had layers, and bangs, and I was wearing full make-up.

We started looking through pictures. "Oh, Nat! Look at this!" Vinny snickered. He held out a picture.

I took it and laughed. It was a picture of a robotics competition. We were all wearing our camo Metal Militia (Name of our team) shirts, except mine was pink camo. It was most likely when AJ and I were dating, because he had his arm aound me. We were with our three of our other teammates, Collin, Daniel, and Zack. I had another arm around Zack's neck, and since he was taller than me, it made him slouch down. I was in the center of the picture, and we were all wearing clear plastic safety goggles. I was smiling wide-open mouthed, my tongue hanging out, and I was showing the rock on symbol with my hand. The guys were making the same face.

"That was such a fun day!" I laughed. "Do you know how many nerds were mesmerized by me? It was ridiculous."

Kelsey handed me another picture. It was at Brett and Madeline's house. We were with a bunch of Brett's friends in their living room, and I was sitting in Elliot's lap. We were all smiling at the camera. Must have been a movie night.

"Oh, I remember this!" Julie said, handing me another picture. It was my junior year, and I was in my softball uniform, and I was pouting. I had a cast on my wrist.

"That was two days after regionals!" I remembered. At the Regina softball game my junior year, there had been a hard hit between me (I played first base), and the second basement. I had dove for it and gotten it, and the runner going from first to second had stepped on my wrist with her metal cleats. Though I was in pain, I had swung my leg over and touched first base to get the other runner out. I had insisted to my coaches that I was okay despite my swollen wrist, and played the rest of the game. After the game, I went to the E.R., and it turns out I had broken my wrist.

Carly suddenly busted into laughter. "Oh my God! Oh my God!" She laughed. "I'm showing this to Top!"

"What?" I asked, snatching the picture away. I laughed out loud. My sister had gotten me a life-size cardboard cut-out of TOP during his Koe wo Kikasete days for my 17th birthday. I had my arms around his 'neck' and I was kissing him on his 'cheek'. "That is hilarious!"

Memory lane The next picture we found was of when AJ had gone camping with my family. He was sitting in a chair, I was in his lap, and we were roasting marshmallows with a blanket over us. I was wearing his hat, and he was leaned in towards my ear like he was saying something. He was smirking, and it looked like I had been giggling. My mom had taken the picture without me knowing.

I sighed sadly. None of this would happen again. No more freedom. No more late nights with friends.

"What's wrong, Nat?" Vinny asked.

"It's just.... None of that will happen again. Now, it's going to be me watching my kids grow up. I'm done growing up. I'm done having freedom. It's all about them, now...."

"Well first of all, we lost that freedom the day we signed with YG. We sold our souls to the devil. A really nice devil, but you get what I mean. And it's not like you would've gone camping wit AJ again, or had a movie night at Brett's. You're with Top. Big Bang."

"What if you never met them, Nat?" Kelsey asked.

I sighed and thought for a moment. "I obviously wouldn't be pregnant. I'd probably be at college, going into pediatrics. I'd work part-time at Dad's restaurant."

"Do you think you and AJ would have gotten back together?" Julie asked.

I looked at the picture of he and I camping. We were good for each other. I was uptight, he was stress-free. We were such good friends. I finally nodded. "Probably. Not gonna lie. I'm glad we're still friends, though."

I sighed and leaned back. I put my hands on my stomach. "Life's all about choices. With the choices I've made, this is what I get. I can't change it now. This means I'll never truly have privacy. I can't have the typical family. My kids won't have a normal life. They'll be between two countries all the time. It'll be an adjustment, for sure. I need to stop thinking about what ifs in the past, because those aren't going to happen."

I looked at the TV. A performance of Blue was now playing. I paused it on TOP. There he was. The man I would be with for the rest of my life. The man who was the reason I wouldn't have a normal life.

I was beginning to doubt I could do any of this.