Torn
I Was Completely Okay... Until I Met the Choi Brothers
Torn
I looked at Mr and Mrs Choi. "Are you kidding me?" All of this was on me?
Mr Choi nodded. "I'm serious, Emma. If you decide not to do a case against your mother, if she decided to move back to Florida, you'd have to go with."
I didn't know what to say, so I looked down at the shirt sleeve I was wearing.
TOP cleared his throat. "I don't really think she wants to discuss this anymore right now..."
"And she doesn't need to. Why don't you kids go up to bed? You've been through a lot. Go on now." Mrs Choi told us.
I was the first to get up and go. I hurried up the stairs, and I turned to open the door with Ayden and Alexa in it, but a hand grabbed my arm.
I turned and looked at TOP.
"You're not going in there to sleep. I know that. You're going in there to think. So come on." He pulled me across the hall to his room.
He shut the door behind us, and the light. He let go of me and walked over to his bed and sat down. I stood where he left me, my arms crossed, looking down at my toes. How was I supposed to decide this? Be a broken home? The chance that Alexa and Ayden won't have their mother? Live in a country I still knew barely nothing about.
"Emma..." TOp said quietly, noticing my distress.
Slowly, very slowly, I made my way over to him. TOP stood and tightly wrapped his arms around me. Not in a way that a teenage boy would with a girl in his room, but in a protective, comforting way. He pulled me down with him onto the bed, and moved so he was leaning against the headboard, holding me in his lap.
I sobbed in his arms, my head against his chest. Why? Why was this all up to me? I couldn't decide the well-being of three kids and myself!
TOP held on to me. No kissing the top of me head, no rubbing my back. He just held me, as if to let me know he was here but wasn't going to say anything unless I wanted him to.
How could I decide this? How could I make the decision of my siblings not having their mother?
"I... I can't do this. I can't decide this. I'm seventeen! I'm a kid! I can't make decisions like this!" I finally exclaimed.
"I know, Emma... I know." TOP said softly.
"I know she's done terrible things, but she's my mother! She's Alexa and Ayden and Mason's Mom! No one can replace a mom! I can't either! I still don't know what I'm doing with my own life. How can I take care of three other people too?"
"You don't need to. It's not your responsibility." TOP told me.
I looked at him. "But I feel like it is! I feel like everyone is looking at me for an answer, and I don't have one! I can't do it! I don't have a job, I have a year left of high school... It's too much!"
TOP nodded. "I can't imagine being in your situation, Emma. It's a really intense and I'm important decision."
I nodded, and slid off his lap so I was sitting next to him. "I just... If I don't do the lawsuit.... I feel like... Like..."
"You will be losing a lot of friendships?" TOP asked me.
I nodded, and looked at him. "You guys have done so much for us. It would tear us apart if we left you. It would break my heart if I left all you guys. You, Dae, CL, Jiyong, Seungri, Youngbae, Dara, Minzy, Bom... Minho and Siwon... I don't know."
TOP nodded. "I can't tell you what to do, Emma. I don't even know. If I was speaking selfishly, I would tell you to stay here. But that's not what a good boyfriend would do. They'd look to see what is best."
I sighed and put my head on his shoulder. "It's just... She's my mom, you know? We used to have good times. I used to idolize her. And she wasn't the one that hit us."
"But she didn't stop it, either." TOP reminded me.
I nodded. "I...I know. But still... She just... Needs to get away from my dad. Nothing is going to help him. She doesn't realize that."
TOP nodded. "Moms are a very important person in a child's life..."
I nodded. "And I can't raise two kids on my own! That's terrible, and Ayden and Alexa... I'd be afraid I wasn't raising them right..."
TOP stayed silent.
I sighed. I just didn't know what to do. I'm just a kid. We were talking about my family. Their lives would be altered depending on my decision.
But then there were all my friends. Believe it or not, they were better friends than the ones at Florida.
And then there was love.
I had so much here, but I was t comfortable with this place. I didn't know the language. I barely knew the money system. It made me worry every day.
I was so much more comfortable in Florida.
TOP put his arm around me. "I love you, okay? You know what I would want you to do, but that may not be the best choice. But I can tell you I will support you and love you with whatever decision you chose. Okay?"
I nodded, and sighed. How was I supposed to do this?
I knew both choices would hurt someone I cared about in the process, but who was I willing to hurt more?
...
Deep down, I knew the answer to that question, and I knew the outcome would cause a lot of tears.
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