I Can't
I Was Completely Okay... Until I Met the Choi Brothers
Next Day, sure enough, TOP was back over at my house. Mom was out at the market with the kids, and Mason was somewhere with Minho.
We were both clearly bored, siting in my living room. I sighed and looked at TOP. "Want to go see what movies I have in my room?"
TOP looked at me, one eyebrow raised. "In your room?"
I nodded and stood. "Come on."
TOP followed me up the stairs and into my room. Since my dress was hanging on the outside of my door in its bag, TOP noticed it. "So this is your dress? I wanna see..."
"Nope!" I said quickly, slapping TOP's hand away and shutting the door so my dress was out of my room. "You cant see it until the dance."
"Why?" TOP whined like a little kid. "It shouldn't matter."
"No one has seen it except 2NE1 and my mom. Siwon almost saw it but-"
"Siwon?" TOP asked, looking at me.
I nodded. "He ran into us at the mall. We talked for like a second. He apparently thinks you and Bom are getting back together."
TOP groaned. "He's saying that to make you think I won't be available! I promise you me and Bom are through after what she did to me."
"I know. From what Bom says, she has no desire to be with you. She's dreading the dance. But she doesnt hate you."
"That's what I get for dating a girl in Siwon's class." TOP sighed, running his hand over his hair. He looked at me. "Do you even know why we broke up? She-"
"Kissed Siwon, I know." I finished his sentence.
TOP looked at me, confused. "How did you-"
"Siwon told me." I nodded.
TOP sighed heavily. "I can't believe that! Why would he tell you?"
"Because he wanted to make sure I know the bad and good about him."
TOP let out a frustrated sound, and fell onto my bed on his back. "Why do you even like him? He's a jerk and a poser!"
"Hey!" I snapped, wagging my finger at him. "Don't question affairs of the heart. He's just... Really nice. And protective and-"
"Yeah yeah yeah he's got the height and six pack abs too. I know, that's what all the girls fall for." TOP sighed, covering his face. "You know, I'm tall. And I'm working on the ab part."
"That you are." I smiled encouragingly, patting his hoodie-covered stomach. "Just... I don't know what it is. There's something."
TOP looked at me. "And why Minho? He's young."
"Just a year younger." I pointed out. "And he's really funny and cute when he wants to be and... Why am I discussing this with you?!" I exclaimed, shaking my head.
"I asked. I just want to know what I'm up against." TOP innocently shrugged and sat up.
I shook my head. "It's too awkward to talk about."
TOP sat up. "We'll, I say it's not. There's a reason why you havent chosen any of us yet."
"Because I like each of you in a unique way." I nodded, rummaging through my DVD shelf.
"Why do you like me?"
I looked at TOP, surprised he asked this question. I thought for a moment. "Because you didn't fall for me as soon as I bumped into you on my first day here. Because you were a complete and rude. Because you made it seem like a chore to lead me through crowds at my first Idol-Off. Because the kids love you."
I sighed and walked over to him slowly, counting on my fingers. "Because you seemed annoyed whenever I would ask what something meant in Korean. Because you totally ignore me when I'm around Siwon. Because you love talking in Korean to irritate me. Because I can read your eyes like a book. Because you're always there for me. Because you can make me smile even in the darkest times." I smirked and playfully pushed his shoulder. "Because you're a total teddy bear inside that bad- exterior."
TOP chuckled and grabbed my hand. He stood and smirked playfully. "Because I can totally take you down in a tickle fight."
Immediately, one hand held my wrist while the other went for my stomach.
I squealed and tried to jerk away. I started laughing uncontrollably. "Dude! Stop!"
TOP kept at it, and I fell onto my bed. Trying to catch my breath, I finally managed to overpower him, flipping over on top of him. I straddled his torso and managed to hold his arms AWAY from me. "Enough!" I giggled, my hair falling over my shoulders. "You know I hate that."
TOP grinned cheekily. "But you know what I know you love?" he placed his hands on my bare thighs, since I was wearing shorts.
My skin heated up immediately. "What?" I managed to ask, super nervous.
"This." TOP suddenly flipped over so I was laying on the bed, and I let out a surprised squeal. He put either hand on the bed on either side of my shoulders so his weight wasn't on me.
My heartbeat quickened as we locked eyes. His stare was so intense, but I couldn't look away.
Slowly, TOP leaned in and kissed me. It was longer than any of the other times we've kissed, and more... Wanting.
I put my arms around his neck and pulled him closer.
TOP parted from me for a second, looked at my expression, and I pulled him back in for another kiss.
I parted my lips, and TOP immediately complied. This was the first time we had ever made out. Before, it was all him teasing me for a little peck on the lips.
I felt one of his hands lightly go up the inside of my shirt, and my nerves went haywire.
When TOP stopped kissing me and moved his lips down to my jaw and slowly to my neck, I felt pressure in the back of my belly button.
This was all too much.
"S-stop!" I stuttered immediately.
TOP immediately stopped what he was doing, and I rolled out from under him and sat up. I immediately pushed my hair back. "I-I can't. I can't do this."
"Emma..." TOP said quietly.
"It's not your fault." I shook my head. "It's mine. I've screwed everything up. And I'll keep screwing it up." I looked at him. "I did like it, okay? I really did. I just think we need to... Wait until I figure everything out."
TOP thought for a moment, and sighed. He laid back against my pillows. "You are so lucky you're cute." he muttered. He nodded to my DVD case. "Go pick out a movie so I can focus on that."
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