“What do you want me to say?” I ask after going through the documents and realizing Jennie still had one more piece of the puzzle missing.

 

“Whatever it is that’s running through your mind right now.” She replies softly.

 

“I...I don’t even know.”

 

Silence passes over us again. But I already know what I need to do.

 

“Chaeyoung and I were adopted from the same orphanage. She was like a sister to me.” I gave her the last piece of this puzzle.

 

“What?”

 

“We were both orphans...I didn’t even remember her until I found out about her secret. It unlocked memories I had forgotten...I was her little moon and she was like my sun, the light in my dark world at the time. Chaeyoung treated me like a sister and when her parents adopted her, she promised me she would find me again...funny how the universe works sometimes.” I trail off.

 

“Why are you telling me this?” Jennie asks me, her eyes unable to meet mine. It hurt, but I also understood.

 

“Because you deserve to know. You deserve to know it all...everything, all the details.” I reach my hand out, slipping a finger underneath the chain of her necklace she always wore, pulling it out, the diamond ring shining brightly, “You deserve to know everything about the person who gave you this, about the person who promised you forever.”

 

“Rosie.” She placed a hand over mine that was holding on to her necklace.

 

“In the back of my mind I knew that you still hadn’t fully let her go. That you still needed to accept, mourn, grieve...in the last 8 years you never gave yourself that chance...you just kept holding onto whatever small fragment of her. Be it this necklace or this heart.” I pulled my hand away from her and placed it on my heart.

 

“You know that I care for you...right?” She asks, finally looking me in the eyes again.

 

“I know..and I care for you too. That’s why for now, we should take a step back.”

 

“A step back?”

 

“Yeah..” I get up, and take a literal step back, “We need to go back to the time before any of this happened.”

 

“Are you leaving?”

 

“I’m not leaving. But we can’t be friends..we can’t be anything.”

 

“What about work? Our friends? We can’t avoid each other forever you know.” Jennie asked. The fact that she isn’t fighting this….should I be hurt or be glad.

 

“Don’t worry.” I smile, “Just make sure you take care of yourself.” I turn away. Staying any longer wouldn’t do us any good?

 

“Rosie.” Jennie calls out to me as I’m about to leave her condo once again.

 

“Hmm.” I hummed, my back still turned away from her.

 

“Just for a second.” Jennie softly says. Soon, I feel her arms wrap around me from behind.

 

“You know..” I sigh, “If you wanna hear it beat again, you're on the wrong side.” I try to make light of our situation, turning around and holding her close to my chest. Making sure she can hear how loud this heart beats for her, even though it isn’t me she sees.

 

“Maybe one day if and when you’ve really moved on this time...maybe then we can take a step forward together again.” I whisper.

 

No matter how much my heart was breaking, now matter how much I knew I was breaking hers...I tried my best not to cry, I need to be strong for me and for her.

 

We both knew, although didn’t want to admit it, that if we kept this up we’d both end up hurting each other more in the future.

 

And when Jennie and I pulled away from each other, as I walked out that door. I could only hope that she could finally take that step forward..on her own.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

“That bad?” Lisa asks, the others looking at me with sad eyes.

 

“What are you all doing here?” I asked, I just wanted to be alone right now.

 

“Nay told us you were going to tell my stubborn best friend today...we figured if you came home then it didn’t go well...so we brought pizza, ice cream, all the comfort food you might want...then we can sto..”

 

“Chaeyoung and I were both adopted at the same orphanage in Sydney.” I interrupted Jisoo’s rambling.

 

“What?”

 

“She was like a sister to me and she had promised to find me again...so her big secret was looking into her adoption and trying to find that little girl that used to whine and follow her around everywhere.”

 

“What the...and you..I..” Yeri and the boys were mumbling incoherent sentences.

 

“Does Jen know that too?” Seulgi asked.

 

I chuckled...to think I thought Lisa and Jisoo were the first to know.

 

“She does now...adding to her previous knowledge of the transplant.”

 

“WHAT?!”

 

“We heard right? Jen knew about.” Moonbyul motioned towards my chest.

 

“Yeah..she’s known the longest out of anyone in this room after Lisa.”

 

“Rosie…” They all looked at me.

 

“What happened?” Jisoo asked.

 

“We took a step back...to before any of this…”

 

“Rosie time machines don’t exist.” Seojun says.

 

“You idiot she didn’t mean literally.” Jackson hissed.

 

“She still hasn’t moved on has she..” Jisoo placed a hand on my shoulder, I shook my head no.

 

“She’s always tried holding onto Chaeyoung in any way she can.”

 

“When I get my hands on her I swear.”

 

“Lili.”

 

“Babe.”

 

Jisoo and I quickly held Lisa from storming out of my place.

 

“It’s okay Lili...if we had stayed together, it would have just hurt us more in the future. Especially with the two of us knowing our truths.”

 

“So now what? You're going to leave?” Jackson asks.

 

“No..I’ll just work remotely from Lisa’s studio and try to limit our interactions.”

 

“What about when we hang out?”

 

“Simple, I just won’t come. Look..Jen needs to take the first step herself, she needs to come to terms with everything that’s happened for her to finally move on. To stop holding onto someone that’s gone. But it won’t be easy for her...she’ll need all of you to remind her that no matter how hard it gets..no matter how much it hurts..that she will always have you guys to help keep her going.”

 

“Why can’t you help her too?”

 

“Because right now, I’m another fragment of Chaeyoung she’s holding onto.”

 

“But you make her happy Rosie.” Joohyun gives me a sad smile.

 

“I don’t want to argue about this..Jennie and I have already made it final.” I give everyone a smile, “So let’s just enjoy the pizza and ice cream.” I try to lighten the mood.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

“Roseanne.” Lisa settles herself on the couch in her office, which I have taken over since the whole thing with Jennie 4 months ago.

 

“Lalisa.”

 

“Are you sure you’re fine?”

 

“What do you mean? I’m totally fine Lis.” I chuckle.

 

“I meant this.” She pokes my chest.

 

“Emotionally or physically?”

 

“Emotionally..and I want the truth.”

 

“….it’s difficult, but it’s what we both need. Remembering our past has made me realize the once bright light I sought after as a kid has grown so bright that it’s blinded me. Pushing me into the shadows unknowingly. I don’t know why our destinies are so intertwined like this, but I need to figure out who I am again. I need to be my own light.”

 

“Do you really think that avoiding everyone we know here is the answer to that?”

 

“I’m not. I’ve hung out with them…”

 

“When?”

 

“Uh….oh Seulgi, Nay, and I had lunch the other day.”

 

“Yeah for work.”

 

 

“Hmmm oh I hung out with Jackson and Seojun last Friday.”

 

“Again, for work.”

 

“Ah I know...I’ve been hanging out with Suzy a lot.”

 

“Yeah that I definitely know.” Lisa rolls her eyes.

 

“Okay what’s with the eyeroll?”

 

“You say you want to find yourself and you’ve pushed everyone with a connection to Chaeyoung, except Suzy.”

 

“Suzy is helping me.”

 

“Is she though?”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I furrowed my brows.

 

“It means, be careful Rosie. I know Suzy cares for you, but she also cared for Chaeyoung.”

 

“Yeah everyone cares for Chaeyoung.” I sounded more bitter than I wanted.

 

“Rosie?”

 

“It’s nothing. Look Lis..I..Agh..” I groaned. not again…

 

“Rosie, what’s wrong?” Lisa quickly came to me.

 

“It’s nothing.” I smiled at her, thankful the attack didn’t last long this time.

 

“This isn’t nothing Rosie...what was that? I asked how you are emotionally..but how about physically?”

 

“I’m fine..just a little sleepy.”

 

“Roseanne.” Lisa’s voice was stern and demanding.

 

“Lili, please.” I rubbed my temple.

 

“No Rosie...how many times has this happened?”

 

“I don’t know.” I shrugged, “I lost count.”

 

“Lost count?! ROSIE!” Lisa yelled at me.

 

“It’s nothing...I’m probably just stressed.”

“Please tell me you consulted Dr. Barlis.” Lisa’s eyes were pleading, begging for me to say yes.

 

“Yeah, he says too keep an eye out on it.”

 

“You’re lying to me.” Lisa saw through me.

 

“Dr. Barlis wants me to return to Melbourne.”

 

“Why?”

 

“He just wants to run some tests.”

 

“For?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Okay...when do you leave?”

 

“I haven’t booked my flight yet.”

 

“Rosie!” Lisa gritted her teeth, and I can tell she was pissed at me already. Rapidly tapping on her phone, “We leave tonight.”

 

“Lili you and I have work..we can’t jus..”

 

“I already texted Chu and Seul..they’ll know we’re going.”

 

“Please tell me you didn’t tell them it’s be..”

 

“Of course not, those guys would all come with us if they knew. I just said there was a family emergency.”

 

“Fine.” I agreed, because I know Lisa. Whether I like it or not, she’s going to drag my to back to Melbourne.

 

~ ~ ~ ~

 

“Roseanne how are you?” Dr. Barlis greeted me with a smile, “I told you to come here after the 2nd incident but you waited 2 months…”

 

“Is it that bad?” I ask.

 

“It’s bad because I don’t know how it could happen.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“It’s been 9-10 years now but your tests are showing transplant rejection.”

 

“What? But how?”

 

“I don’t know...I’ve never seen anything like this. But the heart is healthy and your other tests still show perfect compatibility.”

 

“What am I supposed to do?”

 

“We’re putting you on the transplant list at the top, because I have no time frame on when your body might reject the heart. With that said I want you to meet with me weekly and I also want you to meet a therapist.”

 

“Huh? For?”

 

“Sometimes our minds and emotions are much more powerful than we think...this could be psychological Roseanne. Physiologically your body and heart are compatible, but it could be your mind causing the rejection. With that said, be careful Roseanne. Try not to stress yourself out both physically and emotionally. You’re lucky the last one didn’t cause you to lose consciousness, so be careful.”

 

~ ~ ~

A/n: I’m really super happy that everyone seemed to realize that Jennie hasn’t fully moved on from Chaeyoung. Especially because I tried to do it explicitly, which I thought I failed completely... I mean she held onto her for a decade after she passed, a few months isn’t going to erase that right?

 

This is part 14...and I know I said Memories might be ending soon, but I think that it really might be 20 parts lol.

 

Anyways, leave your thoughts here, through my DMs, CC, twitter...wherever and I’ll do my best to answer everyone.

 

Ah...in case you worry..don’t worry too much okay? I’ll be careful with her heart. Let’s go for a happy ending! Hopefully

 

Ciao