Hongbin couldn’t find it in himself to look at the arm Wonsik had made for him. Every time he did, memories flooded him mind. Memories of what had happened, of how it felt. He remembered what it was like to lose his arm.

It all left Hongbin feeling so lost and alone.

Which was a little bit crazy. Sanghyuk and Shownu made a point of stopping by his room several times a day to check on him. Hakyeon and Taekwoon visited whenever able, but found it hard since they blamed themselves and Hongbin kind of did too. Minhyuk, Kihyun and I.M tried to stop by often too, bringing games and junk that they hoped would cheer their friend up. Wonho and Wonsik had made him an arm. Actually, they’d made a few, trying to make one that fit perfectly and did everything Hongbin wanted and needed it to do.

What Hongbin wanted was his old arm back.

What he wanted was for that mission to have never happened.

He wished with all his heart that Sanghyuk was able to rewind time in such a way that would return his hand.

But Hongbin couldn’t get his arm back, that mission did happen, and Sanghyuk couldn’t pull something like that off.

He shut his eyes and remembered everything. Hearing Hakyeon’s order for a med team. Finding a badly wounded Jackson trying to stop an even worse off Yugyeom for bleeding out. Stitching both up as best he could before the rest of the med team arrived. And just as the med team was leaving, a bomb was dropped. While Jackson and Yugyeom where thankfully fine, the med team and Hongbin weren’t as lucky. One of the med team died, another lost the ability to talk, and Hongbin’s arm was so badly damage that it had to be removed.

Hongbin shuttered at the memory of waking up without it and then hearing about the rest of the med team’s condition.

He just……he had to move forewords.

That’s what he’d overheard someone say when he tried to visit the cafeteria a few days prior. They’d said that lots of other Overwatch members had lost things and hadn’t had the……withdrawal that Hongbin was going through. The person they were eating with had scolded them for being so insensitive, but the agent had scoffed and reminded their friend that they were Overwatch. That they needed to be out there, pushing past their damage, because the people needed them.

It was a cold way of talking and Hongbin didn’t like it but……..the agent had a point, didn’t he?

Hongbin had a job to do. He had people he needed to protect, needed to save.

It was only a matter of time before someone needed his skills, either an innocent person caught in the crossfire or an Overwatch member. Maybe even one of his friends. He was one of the best doctors Overwatch had, maybe even the best if Junsu’s praise was to be believed.

Hongbin slowly reached out for the arm.

Then he pulled back, not yet ready for that step. One day he would, but right then……

Sanghyuk had suggested he talk to someone, a professional who could help him work through everything he was thinking and feeling. At the time, Hongbin had snapped at him and told him off, told him that he didn’t need any help. But now……..maybe that was a step he was ready for.

A/N: so, it’s honestly a little bit hard for me to write about Hongbin’s struggles with losing his arm. I mean, it feels like something I just……don’t fully grasp because I’ve never lost an arm or leg. Like, you can do all the research and talk to people who’ve lost arms/legs/hands/ect. and stuff like that, but…….it’s one of those ‘you don’t really know what it’s like until you go through it’ things I think. Anyway, I just hope I did a good job conveying a part of what Hongbin is going through.