55 | The Excuse
My Perfect Stranger
✗ Lee Gikwang ✗
My heart aches just by looking at Rima. I don't know how to tell her everything. Unfortunately I'm never good in hiding sadness because she finally asks me if there is something wrong.
I never thought that I would meet Rima here at the rooftop for the first time to have such a conversation. I even haven't fulfilled my promise to go with her somewhere together.
"Rima, I... It's...," I pause for seconds. How could I tell her what I don't want the most?
"Are you looking for me?" I closed the door behind and stepped inside while the President was checking some documents.
I just finished my dance practice before I went straight ahead to the President's office room. I wondered why he wanted to meet me all of a sudden.
"Ah, Gikwang," he stopped reading and looked at me. "Please take a seat. It won't take long. Don't worry. I know you have a schedule later."
Since he knew that I still had a schedule, this must be really important. I bowed politely and took a seat in front of him, taking a deep breath while waiting for him to start the conversation.
"It's actually about Rima," he started and my heart skipped a beat when I heard her name. What was it? Did he find out about us already?
I had not planned to tell anyone. I didn't even tell the other members yet.
"From all I know, you are the closest one to Rima. Am I right?" the President asked and I gave him a slight nod, still trying to calm myself. "There is one thing I want to ask from you."
"Rima doesn't have a really good history in entertainment world. Perhaps not yet. What public know is she is Junhyung's ex-girlfriend. If public find out that she is working along with BEAST this time, I don't think a good news will spread," he explained his favor.
"However Rima has a great talent and I know that it's her dream. That's why I allow her to work as long as she uses an alias," the President smiled softly. "Can you please tell me if there is something occur between Rima and Junhyung?"
My heart felt a pang; the President never knew that I also had a history with Rima. I clenched my fists silently, unsure about what I should say.
"Rima's future is in BEAST's hand. I ask you because you're close to both of them. Can you help me? No, can you help them?" he stared at me. "I'm sure you want the best for them as well."
Was it possible for me to say no? I cared for them; I loved Rima and Junhyung was already like my real brother.
All I could do was to give the President a nod, a sign that I would do his favor.
"I think we're not meant to be together," the words finally come out from my mouth. I clench my fists to hide the fact that I hate to say it.
At first I thought that I could hide our relationship. However everything is impossible to read. What if one day someone find out about us? What will people think about Rima?
It's better if I draw a distance with her before whatever worse happens. I'm doing all of these for her sake.
"What?" Rima frowns with disbelief. "Did you bang your head somewhere?"
How can I tell her that this is all for her good?
✗ Kim Rima ✗
"Rima, it's... I don't think the President will approve our relationship," he mutters. "Perhaps not now. Perhaps it's just too fast for us."
"The President or you?" I blurt out the question with sarcasm. He blinks, surprised with my sudden rhetorical question.
This is not real. Days ago everything was perfect. Every little thing.
And now he appeared just to crush the perfect life into pieces.
"Rima, don't take this wrong," he steps forward, reaching out his head to touch my cheek but I quickly toss his hand away.
I bite my bottom lip, feeling that my tears are threatening to fall. Why do I need to cry again? Why does he need to make me cry?
"Even if my father doesn't agree, I will fight for you," I murmur vividly, avoiding his eyes. "Don't give me that kind of excuse, Gikwang. Oh, maybe it's not your fault. You're an idol and I'm no one."
"If you just want to break my heart, it's me who is a fool to give mine at the first place," I step backwards, ready to leave. "If you mean what you said just now, don't chase after me. I need to be alone."
I turn around and leave the rooftop. For seconds I'm hoping that I will hear the footsteps behind me, that he will run after me and apologize to me...
...but, no, I'm all alone.
I stop my steps when I have reached the elevator. I lean my back against the wall and look up, preventing my tears to fall, "You're a fool, Rima..."
For me to believe that everything will be alright in time. For me to believe that Gikwang is the one for me. To think that coming back to Seoul is the best decision.
Perhaps I'm just looking for an excuse to make myself happy.
When the elevator door is opened, I storm out and leave the CUBE Entertainment building, hoping that no one will recognize me, holding back my tears.
Once I arrive at my house, I lock myself in my room. However I don't throw myself on bed, crying my eyes out; it will not help me even for the slightest.
I glance at my phone but there is no new notification as well. Why do I still put a high hope that he will call me or, at least, send me a text message?
After sitting on the edge of my bed for minutes, I stand up and leave my room, heading to the music room.
Music is the only thing that will be there for me whatever my mood is. Instead of crying a river, it's better if I channel my sadness into music, right?
I place my fingers on the piano tunes, closing my eyes as the image of Gikwang crosses my mind again. My heart aches when I remember his words that we're not meant to be together.
I don't get it. I don't understand.
For at least twenty minutes, I let myself to play the white tunes and black tunes in harmony. It turns out to be a ballad song.
"Promise...," I scoff and stop to play the piano. I take the blank paper and a pen I always put on the piano.
I stare at the blank paper for a while before I write the words which come from my heart.
"It would be alright, you whispered
We would be together, you said
Then why did you leave?
Why did you say goodbye?
I was the fool who believed you
Who believed all your lies
Goodbye"
My defense breaks down when I finish writing the random words; a tear escapes and I quickly wipe it away.
Why can't you be a reason for me to create a happy love song?
__________
Author's Note:
As much as I want to end the story with a happy ending now,
I'm trying to think as realistic as possible about Rima's position.
Ah, I'm being too random, eh? kekeke~ :3
But I wonder, will you do the same if you're the President?
What will you do if you're on Gikwang's position?
Well, all I can say is: thank you for reading this story up until this moment. :)
__________
Author's Note:
As much as I want to end the story with a happy ending now,
I'm trying to think as realistic as possible about Rima's position.
Ah, I'm being too random, eh? kekeke~ :3
But I wonder, will you do the same if you're the President?
What will you do if you're on Gikwang's position?
Well, all I can say is: thank you for reading this story up until this moment. :)
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