34 | The Guilt
My Perfect Stranger
✗ Kim Rima ✗
I follow Gikwang's movement as he bows to the director of the video, thanking him for his guidance through the recording for the video teaser for their upcoming album. I unconsciously take a glance at Junhyung who is wearing his shades to hide the dark circles under his eyes.
My eyes move to Sora who is sitting next to me, taking pictures of the members in silence. She lowers her camera when she notices that I'm staring at her.
"Is there something you want to ask?" she tilts her head to the other side, studying my expression. "Are you bored?"
I shake my head and throw another glance at the BEAST's members again, "It's not like that. I'm just pretty new with all of these..."
Five days have passed after the public announcement of my relationship with Junhyung. Other than harsh comments I receive on the internet, there is nothing worse actually.
Except if the conversation between me and my father is counted.
"Yujin has explained everything to me," my father looked at me directly with straight face. "I just want to know if you know the consequences of what you're doing."
My father returned to Seoul the next day after the announcement was made. He demanded me to meet him in his room as soon as he arrived and I knew he wanted to talk about the relationship issue.
"I know the consequences," I answered him calmly. "It's just a month and everything will reverse to normal."
He exchanged looks with Yujin before cleared his throat awkwardly, "Do you want me to give a comment as a father or as a man?"
I raised my eyebrow and retorted, "Is that a question with choices or you just want to answer with both point of views?"
"Fine," he sighed and then gave a sign to Yujin. "Yujin will represent me from my point of view as a father. I've talked with her before."
"Well...," Yujin looked confused for a moment. "Yong Junhyung is too bold by kissing a daughter of Kim family in front of the public. Not to mention that two of you are not in a relationship. You are not supposed to be dragged in this issue. You-"
"I should have let him solved this problem alone," I continued the sentence. "Unfortunately it's not only his problem."
"As for my point of view as a man...," my father ignored my reply, "...I don't think you can continue this whole act with simple consideration."
"And why can't I?" I asked him back, totally had no idea what he was talking about. Everything should be easy and simple as long as I didn't slip out the fact that I was only his fake girlfriend.
"I'm sure he doesn't only think of you as a stranger, considering of what I saw in the picture," my father looked uncomfortable when he mentioned about the picture. "If you don't have any special feeling for him, you will end up hurting him, Rima."
I blinked, surprised to find out that my father could say those wise words to me. He continued again, "I can't do anything to stop you but I just want to warn you."
My father gave me a serious look, "Every lie has its own consequences."
Due to President Hong's suggestion, I follow BEAST for their schedule today for the recording of their new album teaser. This way public will lessen their assumptions about what happened between me and Junhyung.
I do nothing actually. I just follow Sora, watching BEAST to work their schedule. I barely talk with Junhyung and Gikwang since I met them this morning.
Actually I haven't talked with them at all since the day Gikwang hugged me. They're busy, Sora told me. They are in the middle of preparation for their new album.
"I'm done!" I hear Gikwang shouts out loud with excitement. He does a high five with Dongwoon since it's his turn to record individual video teaser now.
Looks like the only person who doesn't seem to enjoy this filming is Junhyung.
When Gikwang is walking to me and Sora, I notice Junhyung talks with Doojoon and then walks away from the site alone.
"We're going to order for lunch," Gikwang gives us a bright smile. "What do you want to-"
"Anything will do," I answer him even before he finishes his question. I stand up and walk pass him, "Excuse me."
I approach Doojoon while he is watching Dongwoon's recording. I fake a cough to grab his attention, "Where did Junhyung go?"
Doojoon raises his eyebrow, "Why? Are you concerned with your boyfriend?"
Feeling slightly annoyed by his joke, I scoff and walk away from him, leaving the site to find Junhyung without his help.
I walk around to find where he possibly is. It's not that I grow my concern about him more than just a friend but I'm actually worried since he doesn't look really good since the filming start.
After wandering for a while, I find a dance practice room nearby and the door is not closed. I open the door slightly and my intuition is right.
Junhyung is inside, sitting down with his back leans against the mirror.
✗ Yong Junhyung ✗
When Dongwoon's turn comes, I check my phone and decide to leave the filming site for a moment.
"I'm going to the dance practice room for a while," I excuse myself to Doojoon. "I'll be back in fifteen minutes."
"What are you going to do?" Doojoon asks me as I notice Gikwang walks to Rima's place. "We don't even have a dance practice schedule yet."
I try to avoid looking at Gikwang and focus on Doojoon, "I just need to clear my head before my turn. It's Dongwoon, Yoseob, then me, right?"
Doojoon doesn't say anything for seconds, thinking whether he should let me go or not. He finally nods, "Fifteen minutes."
"Thank you," I mumble and then walk pass him, heading to the door. I turn to find an empty dance practice room and walk inside the room.
I stand alone in the middle of the room, staring at my own reflection on the mirror. I don't bother to take off my shades, sitting down and rest my back on the mirror.
Today we have a schedule to film our individual teaser videos for our new album in CUBE Entertainment building. I was happy when I knew that Rima would come along with us.
When I found out that she was doing it according to President Hong's suggestion, my happiness disappeared. What did I expect? For Rima to come by her own will?
For the past five days I haven't talked with Rima since we're really busy with our current schedules. To make it worse, I haven't talked with Gikwang either except it's about work.
I don't like the tension between me and Gikwang. For an unknown reason, I think he already knew that I do have feeling for Rima. Well, I think everyone knows about it.
"Junhyung?" a familiar voice calls my name, causing my heart to skip a beat as her footsteps fill the room.
Why does she need to look after me?
Rima stops right in front of me, tilting her head. I don't give any reaction, pretending as if I don't see her.
I was trying to avoid her because my heart is not ready enough if I need to be alone with her. To remember that she will not accept my heart is hurting me enough.
If in this one month I can't change her heart, I will end up hurting more. Am I ready to be hurt?
"Yah, Junhyung," she kneels down right next to me. "Don't sleep here. Aigoo... You even wear the shades to sleep..."
Because she thinks that I'm actually sleeping, she reaches out her hands to take off the shades from me. The moment the shades are removed from me and our eyes meet, I cup her cheek and pull her closer to me.
I circle one of my arms around her waist and lock our lips together.
I carefully lay her down without breaking the kiss. She clutches my shirt yet she doesn't kiss me back.
"Rima...," I murmur her name between the kiss, trying to ignore how hurt my heart is at the moment, knowing that she doesn't want to return my affection. "Will you give me a chance?"
This time I kiss her really gentle.
I don't want this moment to end. I want the time to stop even for just a moment because, I don't know if I'm imagining things, but Rima finally kisses me back slightly.
"Junhyung, are you insi-"
Somone just stepped in the room and he stops immediately when he finds Rima and I together in a really awkward position.
I pull away from Rima as uneasy feeling strikes my chest when I see the shock on his face. Rima sits up and she lifts her hand to cover her lips nervously.
"Looks like I just interrupted you two," Gikwang gives a forced laughter. "I-I'm leaving then..."
He doesn't wait for our answer; he leaves the room, slamming the door behind him.
"G-Gikwang!" Rima stands up and quickly follows Gikwang out from the room, leaving me alone in the dance practice room. I don't even try to go after her.
My heart is clenching.
I am speechless, overwhelmed with guilt as I remember Gikwang's face.
Is it because I forced Rima into a kiss when I know she likes Gikwang?
Or is it because I know that I just broke Gikwang's heart into pieces?
Comments