19 | The Conversation
My Perfect Stranger
✗ Yong Junhyung ✗
I heave a sigh and bangs my head to the wall lightly, feeling like a really complete idiot. I've been staring at my Mac for hours but I did nothing either.
My mind is not working properly at this moment, thanks to the scene I saw two days ago. If only I didn't see it, maybe I won't act like someone who just has his soul taken away.
I was thinking to talk with Rima after my confession the day before. Thought about it, maybe I was crossing the line by my bold actions. I didn't think it was appropriate for me to kiss her like that.
I needed to apologize to Rima and confessed my feeling properly to her. I didn't even ask anything to her. I just simply told her that I liked her.
However I had not made up my mind yet. Though I was sure that I liked her, did I want her to be my girlfriend?
Honestly speaking, that question had not went through my mind until I saw her and Gikwang just returned from somewhere. They were talking in front of Rima's apartment door until Gikwang was ready to go.
I was panic and my instinct told me to hide, which I didn't know why. Before I could even hide myself, Rima suddenly hugged Gikwang.
I froze on my feet. My mind stopped working for seconds before I was finally snapped back to my senses; I knew it would be really awkward if they knew I was looking at them.
Gikwang wrapped his arms around Rima and returned her embrace; that's the moment I finally turned my body and went back to my room without a word.
I couldn't even find a word to describe how my heart was breaking into pieces. I did know that Rima had a crush on Gikwang but I never, never, and never expected to see them hugging each other right in front of my eyes.
Did Gikwang also like her?
I walked to the shelf where I put the ring I was supposed to give to Hara months ago. I stared at the ring, wondering whether I would meet Rima or not if Hara accepted my proposal.
"Hara," I murmured to myself, feeling my heart ached just by the thought of Rima and Gikwang, "can I fall in love with someone else?"
"I need to talk to her," I convince myself and straighten my body. I repeat that in my head, heading out from my room so I can meet Rima in her apartment.
"Ah, Junhyung," my heart skips a beat when I see Gikwang is wearing his shoes, ready to go out. I haven't met him since yesterday because he had personal schedule yesterday. "Good to see you."
I don't know what to say to him so I just walk slowly to wear my shoes. He asks me another question when he has finished with his shoes, "Are you going to meet Rima?"
"Hmm," I hum, pretending to be busy with my shoes. I don't know why I feel awkward just to look at Gikwang.
I'm pretty sure that I have warned him not to give Rima false hope, in case he doesn't have any special feeling towards her. It's whether he is really dense or he actually has a feeling for Rima if he hugged Rima back.
"I'm going there too actually," Gikwang exclaims and opens the door for us. "You do know that she hasn't met President Hong yesterday, don't you?"
"Hmm," I hum again, stepping out from the apartment. Yesterday Rima supposed to meet with President Hong so he could tell us whether Rima could perform or not on the charity event after us.
When Gikwang told the idea to us, I already had a feeling that there's something between them. I let it slide since I also wanted to see Rima's performance. Now I feel that there is something they hide from us... or at least from me.
"Junhyung, are you alright?" he asks me as we take an elevator to Rima's floor. "Is everything alright? You know you can talk to me if there is a problem."
Can I tell him that he is the problem? Of course I can't, right?
"It's nothing," I murmur, not even bothering to look at him. The moment elevator opens up, I step out and go to Rima's apartment, hoping Gikwang will not ask me another question.
"Yah, Junhyu-" Gikwang is going to complaint but he stops when I freeze in front of Rima's door. The door is slightly opened; it's not locked.
Without even thinking twice I open the door with panic rushes in my mind. Why didn't Rima lock the door? What happened to her?
Both Gikwang and I rush inside and I sigh in relief when I see Rima is sleeping on the sofa. She must be fell asleep because her notebook is still on and one of the songs we created together is playing. She even lets her television on.
"Kim Rima, who is just officially being engaged with Eric Hazelwine will celebrate her 23rd birthday party in three days..."
I turn off the television and turns to look at the sleeping Rima. She looks really tired somehow and I don't understand why.
"She forgot to lock the door again," I hear Gikwang mumbles behind me. I turn and shoot him a glare, making him to flinch a little.
Again? Did he just say 'again'?
"Rima," I shake her shoulder slowly. She rubs her eyes reluctantly while I sit next to her, "Yah, wake up. You didn't lock your door, you know."
"I did?!" she shots her eyes open wide. She looks around and blinks when she finds me and Gikwang in her apartment. "I... did?"
"Yah! What happened if it's not us who came here?" I scold her right away. "You should have locked your door! It's not even closed, Rima!"
Rima shifts backwards due to my sudden anger. I'm not mad at her actually. It's more like I'm worried that something bad happens to her. I just scold her due to spontaneous thought.
"Junhyung, you don't need to be that harsh," Gikwang calms me down, patting my shoulder. "She doesn't want it to happen too. Let's just talk calmly, okay?"
The first thing I do to the girl I just confessed days ago is scolding her in front of the man she likes.
What a great record for me.
✗ Kim Rima ✗
Junhyung sits across from me while Gikwang sits next to me. Minutes passed but Junhyung still refuses to say anything due to my reckless act: I forgot to lock my door.
I think I did it after going out to buy some stuffs. My hands were full so I just opened it and stepped right away, starting to work for new songs again. Who knows that I would fall asleep while I was working.
President Hong cancelled the meeting with me yesterday because he needed to attend a really important meeting. He said he will inform me again if he has arranged his schedule.
I didn't expect Junhyung to appear right in front of me when I woke up. Not to mention that he looks really mad at me.
It's strange if I remember that I haven't talked with him after his confession and now he is mad at me. Gikwang looks really awkward between us that he keeps giving me and Junhyung confused looks.
"Look, I'm sorry, okay?" I break the silence, feeling more and more guilty now. "I don't have any intention to do that on purpose, do I? I was-"
"Gikwang said you forgot to lock it again," Junhyung cuts me even before I could explain. "Did you do this before, Rima?"
"I...," I want to explain but I stop and pout. Somehow I know he is going to scold me more if I try to defend myself so I purse my lips. "I'm sorry, Junhyung..."
He heaves a sigh and messes his own hair in frustration. He takes a deep breath before looks at me with serious expression, "Grab your jacket. We're going outside."
"Eh?" I blink in confusion but he has stood up, ready to wear his shoes. "I'm sorry, Gikwang, but I need to talk with her. Alone."
After he emphasized the 'alone' world, I know he wants to talk about something that he doesn't want Gikwang to know... and somehow I don't want to be alone with Junhyung.
It's not that I'm afraid he will do something bad to me because I know he won't. I just don't know what to do if he talks about his feeling for me again, simply because I can't accept his feeling.
I don't want to hurt him.
"I-I think I need more sleep. You know I'm lacking sleep hours so-" I stop immediately when he gives me a glare. "I'm going to take my jacket now."
When I have worn my jacket, I find Gikwang is already waiting for me outside with Junhyung. I sigh and then wear my shoes, locking the door for sure this time. I turn around to face both of them with uncertain look.
"I'll be back later then," Gikwang smiles to me, making me feel better after the whole tension. "Just send me a text message after you return, okay?"
I nod to him and then he excuses himself, heading back to his apartment, leaving me and Junhyung alone. I take a glance, too afraid to say anything. I just d don't want to be scolded by him again.
"Come on," Junhyung takes my hand with his and drags me along with him. I blush really hard because he holds my hand really tight yet gentle.
"Y-Y-Yah!" I start to stammer when we have walked out from the apartment building. He leads me somewhere he only knows while I have no power to complaint at all.
He finally stops when we have reached a small playground. There is no one there, luckily, because I have no idea what his fans will say if someone finds us together.
I try to pull my hand away from me but he doesn't let me go. He turns to me and my heart starts to beat really fast because of his gaze.
"I'm sorry," he bows down but our hands are still tied together. "I'm sorry for raising my voice against you, Rima."
I blink, trying to progress his words in my mind. He straightens his body and I can see the apologetic expression pretty obvious, "I was really worried when I found your door was unlocked. I thought something happened to you... I... I'm sorry."
Heat creeps to my cheek as I stare at the ground, feeling really embarassed... for a good reason though.
Silence.
"Rima," he mutters my name and my hear skips another beat. He looks at me deeply as he takes a step closer to me.
Please. Please. Please. Don't ask anything that I don't want to answer.
Please. Not this conversation. Please.
Please. Not this conversation. Please.
"Rima, do you want to be my girlfriend?"
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Author's Note:
Happy New Year 2012 everyone !
I spent almost half of my 2011 with AFF and I'm so grateful for all readers and friends here.
Have a blast year ahead and blessed be ! :)
I spent almost half of my 2011 with AFF and I'm so grateful for all readers and friends here.
Have a blast year ahead and blessed be ! :)
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