Nichkhun's POV
"So you broke up with her?" Taec asked and I nodded numbly. 
"I won't say it's good but it isn't exactly bad either. You won't hurt anymore, right? "
"I suppose. "
I was in the practice room with the guys telling my story. We were about to start practicing for 'My House' again.
"Brighten up, bro! You've been through sooo much pain being with her. You're better off without her!" Junho said. 
"I'm not. Don't say anything like that again." I was mad. How dare he talk about my Steph like that? 
"Yea we had significant problems and yes she caused me pain. But I did, too. Didn't you hear what I told you just now? The always bright Tiffany passed out because I hurt her so much. And yes it really wasn't a nice break up but don't you remember our happy times? How I sat in this practice room smiling like an idiot just because I got a cute text from her? I felt like I was on top of the world with her and now it's me who makes me fall all the way down again myself. I'm the reason behind my misery and hers too."
"Then go back to her. " Chansung suggested. 
"Shut up, moron. " Taecyeon interfered.
Now I was furious. I ran out of the room away from anyone who annoyed me. I landed on the rooftop alone. The slight breeze soothing me. It reminded me of the times I stood here with her. I looked onto the roofs of Seoul some time before my train of thoughts was interrupted by steps behind me. 
"What do you want?" I asked not looking who it was. 
"Turn around at least." Taec said and as I turned ar round something was thrown at me. 
"Beer?"
"Let's talk. You and me."
"What is there to talk about? "
"You sure there isn't anything."
"I think it's more like there's too much." He chuckled bitterly before opening the can and sipping. Taecyeon walked to the end of the rooftop and slid down to sit leaning against the wall preventing people from falling down. I did the same. 
"I won't ask why you broke up when you still love her. I know why."
"I know you do. That's you. If I was a girl I'd date you immediately. You're so understanding." 
He laughed and notched my shoulder. 
"It's not the time to be gay, mate. I know you're hurt because of the break up but there's something else, right? "
I sighed and gulped down mouth full of the liquor. 
"I'm worrying. So much. How is she doing? Does she eat enough? Does she always have sugar with her? Is she maybe still crying over me sometimes? Does she drink less? Is she still partying that much? I can't stop thinking about it. But the question that haunts me the most is: does she know that it's not her fault? That I am not blaming her? It's my fault. For being weak."

Tiffany's POV
"It's completely my fault TaeTae. I hurt him. I did. I neglected him too much and in the end I lost him."
"It's not your fault Fany. It's his too. Both of you are at fault."
"How is it his fault? What did he do?"
"He ignored you. He didn't talk to you before deciding on his own. Even after these two months without contact. He could've spoken to you first, to Try it once again. He should have told you how he felt first. You can not change anything without knowing about it. Your relationship was too precious for him to just break it off without trying anew. Why didn't he talk to you first? It's irrational. He's an adult, too." I just cried more hearing that. It was the fifth day after breaking up and I was yet to leave my bed on my own will. Sure I had recorded heart a tag but my manager along with Taeyeon and Sunny had to drag me out of bed and my stylist had a hard job covering the dark shadows underneath my eyes. Apart from that I stayed in bed.
"Come on let's grab some food Fany. Sunny is doing her FM date so it's the two of us! "
"I'd prefer Tequila right now."
"Then let's do that. I won't approve of drinking with Jessi for now. But I am Taeyeon. I'm trustworthy and rational."

Nichkhun's POV
It's been such a long time since I'd last drank and it seems like I became bad at it.
"Taec I miss her." I slurred, my head hanging low. 
"Bro you're drunk."
I put my finger on his lips upon hearing that. "I'm not, baaaaaaaabo."
"I'll get someone to bring you home. Stay here. And please don't jump around the edge."
I nodded virgously showing an OK-sign. Suddenly I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. 
'Steph' it read.

Tiffany's POV
We had been drinking a lot. And I mean it when I say a lot. Two thirds of the bottle were empty. I didn't know how much time had passed by but it sure wasn't much. It seemed like it had only been half an hour if not less. Taeyeon and I were both not able to stand and even sitting was complicated so we both just lay down. 
"So Fany."-she hiccuped-"do you really only blame yourself?"
I giggled although I was not really sure why the situation was funny. 
"I do. He did dump me but I was a complete and not the good one. And you know he tried to contact me but I didn't understand and.." I heard a light snore next to me and chuckled. She really is a weak drinker. 
I took my phone and dialed the same number I always would when I'm drunk. 
"Yoboseyo?"
"Nick?"

Nichkhun's POV
I was sure I was dreaming so why shouldn't I pick up? At least we could be together in another world.
"Yoboseyo?" I asked. I don't know why I spoke Korean now but I did. I never did when talking to her. Was I trying to push her away? I didn't know.
"Nick" her husky voice ringed in my ears. Oh how I missed her beautiful tone. 
"Yeah it's me." 'Great response idiot'
"Yeah so. I...eh... I wanted to apologize."
"What for? " I asked dumbly. My dream was supposed to be nice and not about things I tried so hard to avoid. 
"For being a bishhhhh." She slurred. Was she drunk again?
"You drunk?"
"Pffff nah! Are you? "
"I think so." I chuckled.
"Great." She giggled herself. 
"So yeah. I really wanted to apologize. I hurt you. Badly and I was too dumb to notice that earlier. I just wanted to tell you not to have a bad conscious because ehhh even though I'm hurting and believe me I'm hurting a lot I want you to know that it's not you're fault. It's entirely mine."
"Nonsense. It's mine."
"Mine."
"It's mine! "
"No it's mine. Silly."
"You're silly. It's mine. I pushed you away. I didn't let you explain. I didn't give you a chance."
"You gave me enough chances. Nick, I..."
"Let me talk. I shouldn't have acted like this. Loosing a member sure is hard. I know that but she wasn't a member. Jaebum left but we weren't on bad terms and we didn't consider each others as brothers but you did. Jessica was a sister to you. You came here without knowing the language properly without friends without home without anything so you had to rely on people speaking the same language as you did. Jessica was the one who had always been there for you. Even before all of your other members were. We'll let Taeyeon aside. No matter what you do keep her by your side and I will be able to sleep at night. So when I heard that Jessica was going to leave I was shocked but I didn't think how you would feel. I didn't understand. And when you started to get out every night partying and drinking with Jessi I didn't get it. But now I do. I may be drunk as right now but I thought a lot Steph and I know now."
I heard her crying and a tear left my own eye.
"What is it? What do you know?"
"That you were just lost because she left. Devasted. You fell down and I wasn't there to catch you. Instead Jessi did. Another friend who spoke the same language back when you first came. Someone who had been LIKE Jessica in your harder times. So you relied on and believed her because she was part of your past WITH Sica. It was only logical that you went to see her and I wasn't thinking that you just needed someone to lean on when an important part of your life, a sister you were close to, left. I was ignorant. Dumb, silly, a douche bag, whatever. It was my fault."
"It was not. No it wasn't. Instead of leaning on a girl who only thinks about partying I should have spend more with another English speaking person who was in my life before debuting. I should have talked to you more. I neglected you. I did. Don't try to defend me now in front of myself Nick."
"I have to Steph. You do have a bad conscious and that's irrational. I don't blame you nor do I think that anyone should including yourself. You sure hurt and triggered me but in the end it was still my decision. So my decision, my responsibility."
"You're not responsible."
"I am."
"Nick? "
"Yes?"
"I still love you."
"So do I but we can't go on like that. We'd end up hating each other and I don't want to hate you. No, I would kill myself if that happened. That's probably why I decided to make a clean cut. I didn't want to start hating you because I still hope that someday we can be friends again. I do think it's possible."
"I don't. For me it seems impossible."
'What? ' I frowned. Did she mean that? Was she that hurt?
"Steph..."
"Because as for right now I think that I will always see you as more than a friend. You're my best friend, the one who understands me better than I do myself, even now, my pal, my life, the one I want to grow old with, my love. I'll always see you as the love of my life, Nick. Nothing less."
I nodded even though she couldn't see. 
"Just know that I don't blame you. It was only logical that you searched for someone outside SNSD to try to forget everything. You just chose the wrong person. People make mistakes, Steph, and they learn from it. That's what makes us human. Oh and I'm not saying Jessi is a bad person. She's not. She's nice but her mentality isn't what you needed back then. Just don't blame yourself. Did you hear me?"
I heard a slight sigh before I myself lost my balance and closed my eyes. 
"Don't. .... blame..." I out.

Tiffany's POV
I woke up with a major headache next to my phone. I looked at the time and shrieked. It was 1 pm. 
'How could I sleep so much?'
I noticed that Taeyeon was next to me still sleeping. 
"Tiffany's. ..." she mumbled and I shook her to wake her. 
"" She screamed when she sat up apprubtly. 
"Yah byuntae! It's not the time for your little phantasies!" I smacked her with a cushion and heard all my bones cracking. She laughed dorkily and stretched like nothing had happened and her bones cracked too.
"Aigoooo~ Fany we're too old to sleep on the couch."
"And both of you are too fat for me to carry you." Sunny said as she Moved to the refrigerator.
"What did both of you do yesterday?"
"Had some drinks?"
"Some? I'd say some bottles. Taeyeon had passed out and you were mumbling into your phone, when I came home."
"Who did I talk to?"
"Don't know."
I checked my list and I literally felt how my face lost its color. I dropped my phone and nearly cried.
"What is it? " Taeyeon asked and took my phone.
"Oh ." She said and hugged me.
"What did I say? "

Nichkhun's POV
"Wake up drunkard!" Taec yelled merely two centimeters away from my face. 
"Shut up. I want to sleep."
"It's 2pm" -he chuckled-  "oh that irony. But yeah it's 2pm you slept long enough don't you think? "
I rubbed my neck yawning. 
"I suppose. So how did I get here? "
"Me and hyung carried you. You should loose some weight, bro." Chansung said.
"Shut up I'm perfect!"
"Yeah believe that."
"Who did you talk to, bye the way?"
"What do you mean?"
"You were on the phone when I came back. Don't you remember?"
Suddenly I had a flashback. Steph's name on my screen. 
"Oh ."
I searched for it and indeed. We had had a conversation the day before but I couldn't remember. I sighed and threw my head back in frustration

Nobody's POV
Both of them were lying down saying the same things over and over until both of them remembered bits of their discussion. 
'He told me not to blame myself'
'She wanted me to believe it wasn't my fault'
'He still loves me' 'she still loves me' both grinned at the same time and sneezed.

Author's Note: Oh my gosh this is so:oooooo our lovely co-author wrote it... She had exams and a big thing going on so she couldn't write anything. Seriously, I thought she's going to die:D but now since she's a normal person again and doesn't look like a zombie anymore the story is back too... Yeah, but your author is losing inspiration:D as you can see, everything's explained through this chapter properly, it's no one's fault in particular (hoping that the misunderstandings are completely disappearing now because Tiffany isn't at fault alone here)
I guess my sister better... Than me... *sob* 
I'll have to admit that:D thanks for reading!:)