Title: Our Love Story

Reviewed by: AzHiie

Please don't take any offense in my review, I only point out mistakes in order to help you improve your writing skills.

First impression:

Very colorful and bright. If it was your purpose to make it look cute and have a cheerful atmosphere, you succeeded. But in the eyes of a perfectionist, he would prefer using only black as the font color in the very first page.

Story title:

It’s simple and commonly used, but no worries! Sometimes it’s hard to think of a more different title in stories like these because normally, authors can think of a more specific and fitting title for their stories when it’s finished. Titles usually come last in writing.

Also, do change it to 'Our Love Story' instead of using 'Our love story'. The only words in a title that shouldn't have their first letters in capital are the conjunctions - linking words.

Graphics:

It’s cute and it clearly gave the image of what the story is going to be like. I like how you didn’t use a known girl to cover the main character of the story; usually, people would use those from famous girl groups instead when it was supposed to be an OC. Readers who wouldn’t want their favorite male idols to have female idols as their partner earns your story a plus. (I don’t know about Donald Duck, though – I don’t see why he has to be in there.)

Description and foreword:

A teeny tiny mistake; the main characters’ introductions should be in the foreword instead of the description. In writing chaptered stories, the idea of the plot should always be in the description and the characters should be in the foreword – but if it’s a one-shot or a very short story, you don’t usually have to introduce the characters and just type up the plot or summary in the description instead.

In introducing the characters the bulleted way, never use any punctuation marks. Use only if you introduce your characters the paragraph way.

Here are some of the original descriptions that need correction:

Love your dad the most and can joke around like friends instead of dad!!

Dad brought you up along since your mom ran away with another guy since you was young

4th richest family in korea

Cold and rude when you guys first met but will it all change??

In a famous boy band EXO

Here is how I revised them to make them more fitting to the bulleted way of introducing:

Loves your dad t