Title: The Start of an End

Reviewed by: AzHiie

By reading your request form and knowing the fact that this is your first story, I don’t think you know who you’re up against so I suppose I’ll try to be as easy on you as possible.

First impression:

I think it’s lacking in a lot of things – which I will be pointing out later in this review.

Story title:

As you can see at the title above, that’s how I want you to change it if you could. Story titles are not supposed to be written in all small letters, and simply ‘Start of an End’ doesn’t sound like a story title so I added ‘The’ in the beginning.

Your title is one I would expect from a beginner writer, so you need to improve more in writing titles if you plan to write more stories.

Graphics:

The poster is absolutely wonderful. Could be better if the font was more loose and cursive-like to go with the theme of the story. You could use a background image since it’s a long story – it helps lure in readers.

Description and foreword:

Here is where you’re especially lacking. Readers would need more ideas of the story in the description so they would know whether they want to read it or not. Don’t just give up on writing something you want to be read.

I suggest you put character introductions in the foreword since the girl is an OC and your story isn’t cliché that will make the readers understand right away what it is about.

Plot / flow / originality:

The plot is undeniably unique alright, but I honestly don’t know about the flow.

You write the story in a diary way and I suppose it’s slightly confusing with the dates and change of POV’s sometimes. I personally like your effort in writing a planned story; normal writers usually write cliché stories as their first so you have a plus right here for being exceptionally different in your starting line.

Grammar:

Like any other beginner, you, of course, have flaws in your writing too. Although, I’m quite impressed that your knowledge in vocabulary words is expanded that I didn’t see specific words being repeated over and over again like normal beginners would.

Your writing skills will improve if you take note of the following:

Always, always reread each chapter you complete before publishing it. You need to avoid typographical error as much as possible to make your story presentable.

Never forget to capitalize the noun ‘I’.

Always put period