The Story of Jung Dahee

by: yeolwho05
reviewer: thehunnist
 

FIRST IMPRESSION

the moment I knew I was going to review your story, I sighed. Because I'm no fan of angst as I tend to cry at the slightest thing haha. The way you designed your description and foreword surely draws readers in, and that's what's important. No matter how good your story's plot is, the description and foreword must be just as good in order to catch readers so that they'll subscribe and continue reading. I was intrigued since the way you write this story is in the sense of diary entries; which not many people are willing to challenge this writing style (it's complicated to write in diary entries because the small details, as well as important details might be missed out). 

But since I don't really read angst *cries* I was a bit hesitant to read your story xD I apologize for that.

STORY TITLE 

the title had a sense of nostalgia to it, I don't know why xD But it fits with the story, genre and mood. So it's perfect :)

GRAPHICS

your graphics are no joke lmao. So many of them and all of them are beautifully made. I'd give 9/10 for that ;)

DESCRIPTION AND FOREWORD 

Though the layout of your description and foreword draws people in, the way you write it down is a bit of a turn-off. I'm a very picky reader, hence my strictness in reviewing would probably be of a high standard. First of all, it's good that you put a qoute there. Suitable qoutes can surely lift the mood of the story that you're planning to make. Now, it is important that you know the importance of good combination of your story genre and the mood. If the genre is angst like your story, the way you write and design your foreword must be as such too. You can't tag 'angst' and then write as if you're writing a comedy story. Hence sentence structures and even choices of words as you write is very important. But I shall further explain this later.

Anyway, what makes it a bit of a turn-off is the way you wrote the description of Dahee. Now, note that long descriptions is good. But DO NOT make it too long with useless and unimportant sentences. Descriptions, at best, should be written SHORT, SIMPLE, yet filled with IMPACT so that the readers that viewed your story for the first time would be intrigued to subscribe and read more. They'll be curious of how this story works out.

My advice and opinion would be: Write your description short yet simple. If you wanna make it long, then put in a sense of mysteriousness so that you'll catch the readers' curiosity. Hint the readers on the plot, but don't write your description or make it look very predictable. You had caught my interest to read, but when I read that long description, you lost me :/ But ignore me, since I'm a very picky reader xD

PLOT/FLOW/ORIGINALITY 

the plot is perfect so far and the originality is purely your style. The flow is also t