Title: Missing You

Reviewed by: exoexoexolellel

{{WARNING:  This review is particularly harsh and if you can not take critiscm, I suggest that you do not read this review. Do not take anything here personal, it is only my review opinions.}}

First impression (5/5)

I was really intrigued with your story; it sounded and looked amazing. Personally, I really like elegant dividers like the floral/flower one you used.

Story title (8/10)

It perfectly sums up your short story though just by glancing at it, I knew it was a really common title. Typing up your title in the custom search bar, eighteen results popped up so it's not really original. There are ther alternatives but your story is already done so there's no point in changing it.

Graphics (3/5)

The graphic is impressive though I find it strange how the artist has faded Luhan out and boldened Yura. If you just told me one of the characters were dead, I'd guess it would be Luhan. Also, I don't receive the angsty vibe that I should feel from the poster and background. Are the white puffs supposed to be clouds? Because if they are, does it really suit the story? 

Description and foreword (5/10)

I like brief descriptions that give the reader an idea of what they will be reading yet not much is revealed. You went straight to the point about how Luhan misses Yura and I felt some tension being built as I read this. However, that tension disappeared when I read "What shoud he do?" because you've thrown the history of the story in my face; his girlfriend died, he misses her, he wants her. And then suddenly you ask me what he should do and I think that just ruined the moment for me.

I enjoy reading quotes from the main characters except I see it being pointless in your story as Yura is already dead. It's alright to keep them though, it just didn't give any effect to me. The trailer is great, I felt my heart breaking watching it. I was really excited to read your story.

I think the sneak peek should be put in the foreword but that's entirely up to you.

Plot / flow / originality (4/20)

I was really disappointed when I read your story. Honestly, I was expecting so much of the story because the suspense you created in the foreword was just so overwhelming. But we're just learning, right?

The story was way too abrupt. I don't think it's best to start four months in Luhan's sadness as the start of the short story if you can't fully describe his pain. I was a little emotional through the first half of the chapter because I was expecting you to hit me with a load of depressed thoughts. Summing it all up in one paragraph is too short for my taste.

Then in the next chapter, you made Luhan try and forget Yura just because of a dream and I was just so confused. Where is the love Luhan felt for Yura? If falling for another girl is so easy for him, was there any true bond between Luhan and Yura at all? I just thought it was bizarre for Luhan to suddenly fancy Seohyun considering that he tried to suicide after Yura's death. I was real