Title: A Common Phrase Like ‘I Miss You’

Reviewed by: AzHiie

You ship TaeKook, you’re instantly my friend. However, that doesn’t mean I’ll treat you like one in reviewing your story – I’ll say what I have to say.

First impression:

Quite alright; I found the color of the background relevant to the idea of the story.

Story title:

It’s long, but it’s not a bad thing for me. I’m positive there aren’t any other stories with the same title, and though it’s simple, it’s original – there is no way to shorten the title because that’s how it’s supposed to be. I like it as it is, but you mentioned it was a sequel, so you should add ‘[Sequel]’ beside the title.

Graphics:

It’s beautiful. It would be better if ‘A Common Phrase Like’ had a different font instead of letting it be prim, though, since the story circles around the idea of missing someone so it’s supposed to be less stiff and more like the ‘I Miss You’.

Description and foreword:

I’m alright with the description being short since it’s a short story, but the foreword seems to be out of place. I think it would have been better if you put quotes about missing someone instead. And Jimin didn’t necessarily have to be in the description – it wasn’t like him being called a delusional midget happened all the time to make it seem important.

The font is unnecessarily big and takes up space. It’s nicer to look at if you used a normal font size instead so it doesn’t seem like you’re slapping the idea of the story in the readers’ faces. (I meant it to sound funny, I hope it didn’t seem like an offense whatsoever.)

Plot / flow / originality:

You asked if the plot was too cliché, I answer yes. I have to say your story was pretty amusing in some parts, but it’s not very different from other stories I’ve read before.

The first chapter was too short and didn’t match the length of the other two. I would have posted all of them in one chapter if I were you; although, two parts would be just fine, too.

The flow is a little fast overall, but there were two parts I noticed where it was too fast.

In chapter two, where Taehyung called to explain what he had tried to say the night before that, Jungkook let it go in just a snap. You lacked words of how he could have felt there. For instance, you could have mentioned how humiliating he thought it was, how embarrassed he felt or how stupid he was for jumping to conclusions so easily.

In chapter three, all of a sudden, Jungkook was already coming home. You could have added more scenes at the second chapter of him staying in America to make it seem like it’s been such a long time since he last saw Taehyung, because it didn’t feel that way to me – it felt like he had only stayed there for a single week.

The story basically circled around Jungkook’s thoughts. I think it would have been better if you used his point of view instead.

You weren’t very clear in writing the story. It wasn’t ever directly mentioned if they were in a relationship, and even if it was a sequel, you could have let the readers know even just once because not everyone does the effort to read the stories before their sequels; not everyone believes that a sequel can’t stand alone.

Grammar:

I don’t think I saw much typographical error, but you really need to improve your grammar –