Marriage by Force[M]

Written by: soroue

Genre: , arranged marriage

Short Summary: Jung Mirae isn't an outgoing person but being the daughter of one of the most rich business man leads her to an arranged marriage.

Story link: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/637420

First Impression:

For me, as the first impression, it was pretty okay. But it didn’t really pique me up to that very extent. Because, most of the arranged marriage stories will possibly have some same scenes and mostly of some matters to why they started; common (and to be honest the only reason why) is because of ‘business matters’ second, ‘company going down (or so)’ and lastly, of ‘parents’ (to be quite honest they’re all the same). Get me? It was also quite unique because of the main character not going out of the interior and locking her self up. So to sum it all up, your story /at first/ is plain and common but it was mixed with uniqueness of the character’s doing. Hey, first impressions, they say, change. (And maybe, I can say, it might have done to me.)

Title: 

As for me, the title may have been common and really simple and plain. Don’t get me wrong, simplicity is beauty. But it’s just that it won’t really get much attention from readers. I, too, am not good at making creative titles. As far as I know, the title completely says that their marriage is really forced. And yes, all the arranged marriages are forced (and maybe not at some, because they had a secret behind?) So, I say that thing is making the title one of those being called ‘common’. So here’s a simple tip: why not try making creative titles by some quote, lines from a drama, lines from a song, a question and maybe an answer when it ends, an object to which they’ll find out through reading? Or something like a hint. Maybe that’ll help. I’m not making you change it but how about in your upcoming stories?

Description:

The description was okay, too. But it was mostly revolved around her not going outside. I predicted that It’ll be more on the marriage’s details, how or why and what happened. Just maybe a description like... “A tall man approached me at a gala I wasn’t sure of him since he was an anonymous until he told me his name... And now, what’s happening as if it was almost unreal. An arrange marriage with a guy that I met on that very night.” That thing just came out. And to be also sure, I’m not good at descriptions. So a simple tip? Make descriptions that’ll lead out to curiosity and BOOM! Attentions and readers. Like they’ll ask, “Who’s the guy?” It’ll be up to you to where you want to focus with the description. And let’s make sure that it connects with the title!

 Foreword:

I saw your foreword and it was all acknowledgements, credits and all that. Let me say this, it’s not all about that, it’s also about posting your previews there, maybe a written trailer... Yes, a preface. That’s it. When you write about like that, don’t sum everything up, just maybe some thrills that will go in one’s spine. Like this:

“I’m a shadow of the unknown... killing is my hobby, but, how come you can see me? I was once a person, now... definitely a demon.” The big shadow hover over me, and I looked calm as ever. I stepped closer and touched the shadow when I even can’t.

Without a second passed, everything was black and I felt him...
then... blood.

Well, mostly you don’t have to do details and what they do. Just a simple conversation or a dialogue is fine like:

“I hate you.”

“She said that she loves me.”

“I never missed you!”

“I missed her a thousand ti