6. UMMAPPA

Even though Minki and I had been welcomed into imo’s family with open arms and even more open hearts, I waited. I waited for their hearts and doors to close on us. I waited for us to grow into a burden.

I waited in vain.

Six months passed and imo and uncle loved us just as much as the first day we had sought shelter with them. My broken mind and body had healed a lot. I was not perfectly healthy as I still coughed when stressed, but at least I was way better than before.

Minki had started speaking within a month of going to school with imo. And man, did she start speaking. I was shocked at her expertise in both Korean and English. Imo was very proud that her solution had worked. Minki and I usually conversed in English, because I wanted her to remain proficient in that language.

One Sunday, I was met with a question I had been dreading, “Umma why are you my umma when you are a man? All umma are girls like imo-halmeoni.”

“Baby it’s because I mother you like an umma.”

“Why not mother me like an appa?”

“Appa is father, not mother. Then how can I mother like an appa?”

“Ummappa.”

“Eh? What is that?”

“You. You are my umma who is an appa. Ummappa.”

Her logic left me flabbergasted. It took me the whole day to recover at how convolutedly her little baby brain worked. Soo-jin and Jiyeon found it funny. For the next few days they called me “ummoppa”.

My family still came to visit imo once a month. I don’t know why. Imo joked one day that they were checking to see when she and uncle would beg them to take Minki and me back with them. Minki hugged Soo-jin on hearing that and started crying, “I want Choo and Ji unni”.

Imo mock-pouted, “What about imo-halmeoni? You don’t love me? You can leave me?”

She hugged imo also then, “No, no. I want imo-halmeoni also.”

“And what about your imobu-harabeoji?” Uncle asked her with a smile.

She immediately jumped onto his shoulders. “Imobu-harabeoji I want ice-tream.”

Everyone laughed at her “ka” and “ta” lisps. She beamed and made her already big eyes rounder and bigger.

Taemin had caught on to her lisp and would every time he visited.

“Dotty say coca cola.”

“Tota tola.”

This would make everyone laugh except me. I didn’t like anyone making fun of Minki even if it was my own brother.

After a few repetitions, she devised her own defense.

“Dotty say coca cola.”

“Pepsi.”

Everyone stared open mouthed at her.

I laughed my guts out. I high fived Minki. “Way to go baby.” She climbed onto my shoulders immediately to beam at everyone from a higher place. My royal princess!

Jongin began calling Kibum “ummappa” following the example set by Minki. Kibum did not look happy with it. I did not analyze the reason. Maybe he wanted to be the trendsetter not a follower. Whatever. He continued being “Tee umma” to Minki.

In all this fun, appa would implore us to go back with them. But I steadfastly refused. I had spoken to Minho and convinced him to sign over my money in his bank account. It was not easy. He had refused for a long time. Finally I told him it was not for me. He had to do it for Minki. He agreed because he wanted to show everyone he was a good father. I honestly couldn’t understand his warped logic and did not waste any brain time to analyze his decision. According to me, thinking about Minho was a total waste of brain space. I just sent OP from the office to collect the check from Minho. I opened a bank account for Minki under my guardianship and converted the check into a time deposit in her name.

My rental income and earnings from uncle’s office were also deposited into my personal bank account. Imo and uncle refused to let me pay for anything. For them food and stuff for extra two persons cost only marginally more. This was so different from how everyone had behaved at umma’s. There, Minki and I were a financial burden and our every little expense was highlighted, even though I took care of our personal expenses on my own. I finally stopped paying Minho’s bills. I had called and informed the local grocery store to cancel my credit account till I came personally to restart it.

I had presented my first check to umma and appa. We all had especially driven to their home and I’d handed my first pay to appa. Appa had taken it and passed it to umma. She kept it with her and put an equivalent amount of cash in my wallet. I’d protested but they wouldn’t listen. Appa had wanted to celebrate my first pay with champagne but uncle did not drink and I refused too. So appa celebrated by drinking alone. At least he didn’t fight with anyone.   

I don’t know why I didn’t foresee the late reactions. Appa now started harassing umma about my low earnings. He would go on about how my uncle was paying me much less than I was worth. Oh man! When would anyone learn to be just happy for me and take joy in my smiles? I reached the conclusion it’d never happen with my family at least. I stopped paying any attention to what they said. I listened to umma and forgot it after the phone call was over. I was satisfied and that’s all that mattered. I knew that with the combination of rent and my pay I would not need money from appa.

Umma related that Kibum had begun nagging Taemin to let him join a school as a teacher. Taemin was adamant that he did not want a career-oriented partner, he wanted a stay-at-home one. He had made that clear before marriage. Kibum sulked for many days. Finally Taemin relented and agreed. Kibum applied to nearby schools and got a job teaching primary school. He joined but was not happy because earlier he was a high school teacher.

Umma was even unhappier than Taemin and appa because she had to look after Jongin. Minki had been a very calm child to look after, hardly giving umma any trouble. Jongin in comparison was a hyperactive boy and physically wore out umma within a few hours. This created more problems for umma at home. Everyone accused her of being partial to Minki and me and mistreating Kibum and Jongin.

The dysfunctional Lee family was at its best once again.

I was still going to uncle’s office with him. However, I was not working the front desk anymore. I had moved from there when his receptionist returned. I had spent a few weeks with every other worker in the office, learning each one’s work till I could do it flawlessly. I had even been introduced to the media houses. In the end I was sitting in the office manager’s chair, who was still on leave.

The girls handling the ad releases developed a strange habit. They would commit a mistake and when questioned by uncle, they would blame it on me. I kept silent, but then, unknown to them, devised my own method of dealing with their mistakes. I had realized that no one kept any records of daily orders systematically. Many of the orders were missed even. Next time they pointed a finger at me, I asked them to bring the ad release order. I pointed out the dates and days in my writing and showed my diary which showed corresponding dates and days. It became clear to uncle that the mistakes were never committed by me.

Later in the car he told me he had never doubted me for even a moment because he knew me. But he was busy with work outside the office so he had no proof of my innocence. He was sure that from then on the girls would be more careful with their work.

Since I was given the temporary responsibility of being the office manager, I debated about how to proceed. I discussed it with uncle and he said to do what I thought was best. He trusted me. He had already had to explain to his office workers earlier that I was not there to take over anyone’s work. My quick adaptation and the burning desire to learn everything perfectly had scared some of them. I was also a perfectionist. I’d realized that with uncle out of the office, most of the time the employees were very casual about their work. Only 8 out of 10 incoming ad orders were completed and released to the media. Two would get lost somewhere or their release date would pass without even a draft ad creation.

I devised a simple way of keeping track of incoming and outgoing ads which would take no more than two minutes daily. But no one was willing to follow it. In desperation, I discussed this with imo. She told me to keep silent about it and not tell uncle. Even if I was family, he was very possessive of his staff. I decided to follow her advice.

On Sundays I’d casually tutor Soo-jin in science and help her with school work. Minki developed a habit of climbing all over me while I taught Soo-jin with single-minded concentration. She’d make me stand up and begin climbing from left side and on reaching my shoulders, switch to right side to climb down. She will keep doing this till Soo-jin also learned to ignore her antics.

Soon Jiyeon also began sitting with me to study and ask problems related to her school work. I started giving Minki her own work with coloring and alphabets while I taught Soo and Jiyeon. I found that I did have patience in me. I had always assumed that I was very impatient, but now I found it to be the reverse.

One day imo had school holiday and Minki wanted me to stay home with her. She climbed into my lap as I fed her breakfast.

“Ummappa stay with me.”

“I have to go to work baby. You stay with imo-halmeoni and be a good girl for her.”

“I want to be with you ummappa. I miss you all day.”

“Baby I need to work.”

“Why do you need to work?”

“To earn money.”

“Why do you need to earn money?”

“For us to have food to eat.”

She was silent for a minute.

“We will not eat food. We will just drink milk.”

Oh my God!

“But baby even milk does not come for free. We need to buy it with money.”

“Oh! Okay you go to work. I will not say anything.”

“I love you baby.” I kissed both her cheeks.

“I love you ummappa.” She gave me a big kiss return.

She had surprised me with her logical brain once again. I understood that usual explanations will never work for her. It was better to reason out logically with her instead of simply commanding or ordering as a parent. I was proud of my daughter. I beamed all day long at work.  

Another two months passed. Uncle’s office manager returned from her leave and resumed her position. Now I was the chairless person in the office. Uncle put me in business development. I started visiting offices and businesses to convince them to transfer to uncle’s company for their advertising requirements.

Here I met my first and biggest hiccup. Some of the people I talked to made improper propositions to me. A few even made a pass at me. I got many invitations for drinks and dinner in return for their company ad contracts. My Ice Prince mode would turn back on as I refused all of them, but my stress level kept increasing. I began dreading going into offices. My cough returned. With full staff back to work, there was actually no work for me in the office anymore. But I was not suited for this outside work either.

After thinking hard for a month, I decided to quit. I had not been a success outside the office. Uncle noticed the change in me. Both he and imo kept asking me what was stressing me. I didn’t know how to express myself without offending uncle. I finally told that I was not suited to marketing because I had failed to get even a single account even after trying for a month.

One Sunday, I quietly expressed my desire to leave uncle’s employment. To me it was like fraud to accept money for work I had failed to perform.

Imo got to the root of the problem immediately. She had spent more time living with the advertising business. “Jinki, you are too pretty to be in marketing.”  

“Imo I am not. I am a man.”

“Okay ostrich. You are a pretty man. Are you getting invitations to date?”

My shocked eyes told their own truth. Imo laughed and uncle was apologetic.

“I am sorry Jinki I never realized you might have this problem. I have never employed anyone for marketing before. You can work back in the office. I will get another computer and you can design ads. There is enough work coming in.”

I shook my head.

“I got it. Jinki, do you want to work with small children? The day care incharge in my school is going on maternity leave. You can take up her position.”

“But imo I am not trained for it.”

“You are not trained for anything but you have an aptitude for many things. You are great with young children. You are good at tutoring. You even fitted into your uncle’s office without any problem and he never voiced any complaint about you, meaning he was happy with your work. Come on, give it a try.”

“Dae Hei hadn’t you once said the incharge was receiving very low pay?”

“What are the work timings imo?”

“The regular school hours. You will be back home with me every day. Let me speak to the management and you can come for trial and training before the incharge actually leaves.”

“I don’t want Jinki to leave my office. I rarely find someone who is good at every single workstation.”

I raise my brows in question.

“Okay, okay nitpicker. Let me correct myself. Someone who is good at ‘almost’ every single work,” he finger quoted the word almost.

“Uncle your office work has continued well without my presence in the past month. I know you don’t feel so, but I will feel myself to be a burden on you. Please for my happiness let me go.”

“I am letting you go, only to stop making you cough. But I want my formal protest to be clearly understood. Dae Hei you are stealing my best employee.”

“Guilty as charged. Jinki I will arrange for an interview for next week.”

“Okay you work in the office till then Jinki.”

I shook my head. “I will spend some time with Minki. Can I uncle?”

“Of course! How stupid of me to not realize that. Today’s dinner is in celebration of Jinki quitting his job.”

I started laughing. Only this family would celebrate my being jobless.

Minki was dancing because I would be staying home with her. Soo and Jiyeon had their own celebration dance because I could help them with school work every day.

I drove everyone to dinner at a nearby restaurant. We clanked cola glasses in cheers and drank to my being jobless and spending time with Minki again.

It had been a year since I left Minho. I was happy and satisfied. Everyone drank more cola to celebrate my “separation anniversary” coming up in a few days.