13. SING ME A SONG

Jonghyun called me almost every day. I was not very keen on talking to him daily till he reminded me that he liked talking to me about his everyday problems. I either listened quietly or offered practical solutions. He told me about his proposed dates and then we dissected the dates later. He dated a different girl each time. I laughingly warned him that he would date all the girls in Daegu very soon if he kept that up. I did ask him a question that had been niggling at me for some time.

“Jjong, when you tell me about the end of your date, it’s always a good night. Don’t you kiss your dates?”

“Toki kissing is after a few dates, but I never get to date the same girl more than once.”

“Why do they refuse a second date with you? What do you do? Tell them about all your ersions?”

“I think it’s my lack of money. Or maybe I am boring. They never laugh like you do when I talk to them. How come you find me funny but they don’t?”

“Because you are a playful puppy to me. You should tell them to see you like a small puppy too. You will begin receiving kisses even before your date begins.”

“Does that mean you want to kiss me?”

“Absolutely no way. I want to put a leash on you and take you for a walk.”

“Toki I never knew you were into dom-sub stuff.”

“If you let your erted mind show through on your first date, no wonder they refuse the next one. This is way advanced stuff.”

“You didn’t answer me toki. Are you a dom or a sub?”

“I am neither. Does that mean you have never kissed a girl?”

“What’s the big deal about it? I have my whole life ahead of me to kiss a lot of girls or kiss a girl lots.”

“At this rate I doubt that.”

“Toki in all the videos I have seen, during the kiss the hands are on the girl’s body. How can I do that with a girl on the first date? I will get slapped.”

“Don’t tell me you have learnt how to kiss from the clips you keep watching.”

“Yes. It’s not as if we have tuitions on kissing or kissing as a subject in school or college. Hey wait. You can give tuitions in kissing.”

“Hahahahaha, oh man no. Tuitions in kissing. That’s the most absurd thing you have said.”

I laughed for a long time, till he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Stop laughing toki. I am serious. Where do the hands go?”

“You can either hold her hands or put them in your pocket. Do not touch her body on the first date or the second or third. Not unless she invites you to. And don’t keep staring at her lips during the date. It will spook her.”

“! How did you know?”

“Jjong I hope you are not using such words in front of Minki or when talking to her. Remember to keep your language clean with Minki and your dates.”

“Yes, I know. You told me and I am careful of my speech with Minki. And you should hear the language of some of my ex-dates. But how did you know?”

“Elementary, my dear Watson. You have not even had a kiss. During the date you will be jumping ahead in time and thinking about kissing the girl and then end up staring at her lips all the time. I hope that’s all you stare at.”

“Sometimes their s too. I wonder whether they will fill my hands when I kiss them.”

“Which dinosaur age did you crawl out from? Be glad they don’t hit you before refusing the second date.”

“One did.”

I began laughing non-stop at that. The puppy was way too funny.

“I can’t talk anymore on this topic tonight puppy. Tomorrow please. Oh god, you are so dang funny.”

“But I have a date tomorrow. You have to tell me tonight only.”

“Don’t think about kissing her. Don’t think about holding her s or touching any part of her body.”

“Her hands?”

“No part of her body puppy. Not even her hands.”

“Then what should I think about when I look at her.”

“The sky, the food, anything but kissing and touching her.”

“How do you know? You have never dated a girl.”

“She is not a commodity puppy. Don’t make her feel so. And I don’t have to date a girl to know how to treat her well. I have a girl of my own. There is no way I’d ever want her to date a person who treats her like a commodity. Now good luck for tomorrow’s date and we will talk after that.”

“Toki I want to know more.”

“First try this and then next lesson puppy. Now good night.”

“No good night. I have a date tomorrow and I have to know what else I am doing wrong.”

“How do I know what you are doing on your dates puppy? How can I tell you what else you are doing wrong?”

“Then go on a date with me. I want to be able to take a girl out more than once. I am desperate here toki.”

“You know I can’t date you puppy. It will spoil our friendship, not to mention all the reasons I have already told you before.”

“Please toki. Do you want me to die a ?”

“Don’t be so overdramatic. I will buy you one of those ‘dating for dummies’ books.”

“Devil toki. I am dying here and you are making jokes. At least help me get to the kissing base.”

“As long as you have your girly magazines and your videos, you are not going to die.”

“Seriously Onew, how much will it hurt you to give me one hour of your life?”

“Jonghyun it’s not that I don’t want to. But I cannot see how it’s possible.”

“You want to date me Onew?”

“I did not say that. You know I meant about helping you move to second or third date. Give me a few days to think over your problem and find a solution. And seriously please burn your magazines and throw away all your CDs.”

“No way. They are my only rays of hope to survive the frustrating dates.”

“Suit yourself. Now can I say good night and sleep?”

“Yes your highness you can.”

“Thank you my loyal subject. Tell me tomorrow what happens. Bye!”

“Bye toki!”

The next day all thoughts about Jonghyun’s date flew out of my mind. Minho called to inform that he would be leaving for USA in a month’s time. He had gotten a job there. When I probed for details, he refused to give me any. He wanted to meet Minki and asked if he could come over in the evening.

Minki had heard me speak out his name and began pestering me to talk to him. When I handed the phone to her, Minho told her he was coming to see her in a few hours. I could not refuse him a visit after that. At least, not without becoming a villain in Minki’s eyes.

When Minho visited imo’s house in the evening, he was greeted cordially but coolly by imo and Soo-jin. Jiyeon talked to him for longer time. Minki was smiling so broadly and her eyes were shining so brightly that it was obvious she was the happiest person in the house to see him. I stayed sitting in one place while Minki hopped around. Once she got over her initial excitement, Minho began probing her about her life. Soon her almost every sentence began or ended with ajeossi. Minho raised his brows at me in question, but I ignored him for a long time. Finally, he began grilling Minki about details of the ‘ajeossi’. She informed him he was a police officer and had a big bike and began talking about our activities that involved him. I knew trouble was brewing but maintained my silence. I did not owe any explanation to Minho.

When he took his leave, Minki was upset for sometime but got over it when Jiyeon began tickling her. That night Minki insisted on sleeping with me only. I sang softly to her and rubbed her back while she led me for a long time before falling asleep. I was her emotional anchor that night. Could any number of words ever express how much I loved her?

Minho called me soon after. I ignored his call. As soon as the phone stopped ringing, I called Jonghyun.

"Free to talk for a few min Jonghyun?"

"What's wrong Onew? What happened? Is Minki alright? Are you?"

"Calm down Jonghyun. Everything is okay."

"Don't lie. Tell me what has upset you?"

"Why do you think I am upset?"

"Your voice, toki. Tell me what's wrong? Minki?"

"She's fine. Sleeping next to me."

As I said that, Minki began looking around for my in her sleep. I had forgotten to button my night shirt and was still pressed to my chest. It was clear that Minho's visit had subconsciously disturbed Minki very deeply. I thought for a few seconds before guiding her lips to my . My baby needed me that night, that's all that mattered. She led for a few seconds and relaxed as she fell asleep again.

Jonghyun had been silent. After many nights of talking when everyone was asleep, he had come to understand when to remain silent. We talked in whispers whenever I didn’t go out into the balcony.

“Onew?”

“Hmmm.”

“Tell me what’s wrong?”

“Minho visited today. It has emotionally disturbed Minki. She needed to le so I had gone silent.”

“She les you? Isn’t that something babies do for feeding?”

“Hmmm.”

“Did you feed her?”

“Hmmm.”

“How are you are holding up after his visit? Did he say anything to upset you?”

“No. We hardly talked. Minki told him about you.”

“What did he say?”

“Nothing. He gave me a call just now. But I ignored it. I don’t have anything to say to him Jonghyun.”

“What’s troubling you?”

“........”

“Talk to me Onew. I am your friend. Let me help you please.”

“I don’t know how to explain you to my family Jonghyun.”

“I am your friend. Simple.”

“It’s not that simple. I have been in only one relationship in my whole life, and that too a gay one. Explaining a male friend is not simple at all. My family hardly understands me anyway. They will not understand our friendship either. It’s not just me. I am afraid that they will create problems with Minki meeting you. She is very attached to you. All she talked about today with Minho was you.”

“Hmmm. We will find a solution when the time comes Onew. Do not begin worrying about what your family will say right now. You are not staying with them. You are living with imo. As long as imo and uncle understand, things will be okay. Just because your family thinks otherwise, I am not going anywhere. What did Minho want?”

“He is leaving for USA. He has got a job there. I wonder what he will do there? He hardly worked here. He is not used to working.”

“Why let that worry you? Let it be his headache.”

“Yoda puppy.”

“Onew don’t over think things. Let them happen when they do. You are strong and wise. You will find a solution for each problem as it arises. Imo, uncle and I are also there with you. We will not leave you alone. We will always be there for you.”

“Jonghyun don’t make promises that you may not be able to keep.”

“I know what I’m saying Onew. I am not Minho. I do not know exactly what went wrong in your marriage, but I know he is the biggest fool on earth to let a person like you walk out of his life. Mark my words. He will repent hurting you. Do not insult me by comparing me to him. I know what promises mean to you. I am making you a promise that I will keep till my last breath. I will always be there for you. Trust me at least on this.”

“I do trust you Jonghyun, or else I would have never allowed you to take out Minki alone.”

“I realize that Onew. Thank you for letting me be with Minki. She has made a permanent place in my heart. Just like her ummappa. I will always protect her. And I will try and protect you also if you will allow me to.”

“Thank you for loving her Jonghyun.”

“Should I sing you a song to help you sleep?”

“Won’t everyone at the station think you’re crazy?”

“Who cares for what they think. Do you want to hear my favorite song?”

“Hmmmm.”

He softly sang to me till I fell asleep holding the phone to my ear, Minki pressed close to my heart.