23. LEECH

I woke up with a feeling of foreboding. Throughout the day I couldn't shake it away. It kept twisting deeper into my guts and tying up my insides in big knots. I called my puppy while the daycare kids rested briefly. Everything was fine with him. I called him again in the afternoon. He was eating a late lunch. At home imo gave me a short list of things she needed from the supermarket which I texted to puppy. I called him again while having tea. He must have thought I'd gone crazy. But the bad feeling refused to go away. I had called uncle also, to confirm if everything was okay with him. Umma said everything was fine at their end too.

I told imo that I had decided to play by the ear regarding the house key. Keeping or returning it would depend on how the evening shaped up. She advised me again to keep it.

When puppy returned, I discreetly checked him out to make sure he was really alright. Soo served coffee to him and imo. While all of us chatted at the table, Soo and I began to chop vegetables. Minki had climbed into her ajeossi’s lap as usual and was recounting her day to him. Then she asked him about his day, as I had taught her to. Actually I had told to ask about him first but she was still a baby. It had become our daily routine. After relating his day, puppy would ask imo about hers then me, Soo and Jiyeon. Jiyeon was on a candy as usual. Minki was eating a choco pie and asking about the wrapped gift he had pushed towards me. He explained it was a toy police bike for Jongin's collection. I smiled at him.

Minki became possessive, "I want one ajeossi. Why Jongin? You are my ajeossi."

"You don't need a toy minx you have a real one."

"I do? Where?"

"My bike is there ne. What is mine is yours ne."

"Is it?"

"Yes minx."

"Can I ride it alone?"

He looked at me and I discreetly inclined my head in permission from my side.

"When you are old enough, I will teach you how to ride it and we may even get you one of your own if you get into a good college."

Minki began beaming. Soo began pestering to learn too. Imo said uncle's permission would be needed. I asked Jiyeon if she wanted to learn too.

"No oppa, I prefer to sit behind ajeossi or appa. You learn."

"Toki you do not know?"

I shook my head.

"I will teach you soon."

"You know, I can always ride behind you. I feel too lazy to learn."

He went to freshen up and change. Over the past two months he had become familiar with my wardrobe and had added a few of his clothes to it too. Every time I opened my wardrobe and saw our mingled clothes, it gave me a warm fuzzy feeling. Soon a few would become all. I was still wracking my brains for ways to make him stay the night. The first of all future nights.

He had not yet said yes to moving in. But I was unwilling to let his yes or no make any difference to my plans.

“Yeobo, what are you doing staring into your wardrobe?” He whispered in my ear.

“I was just imagining it full of our combined clothes.” I whispered back. I could see us in the mirror that hung inside the wardrobe door.

“When?”

“Tonight?”

“You sure?”

“Very.”

We exchanged a long look in the mirror and seeing complete certainty on my face, he nodded. We smiled. A new chapter in our life had begun.

We went to help imo with the dinner. Looking at the clock, imo prepared tea for uncle who was to arrive at any time. I told Jonghyun to talk to uncle about his moving in and take his permission even though he had offered himself the night before. He nodded. We hoped uncle had not changed his mind.

When they talked, uncle’s grin told us he was still of the same mind. I could hear Jonghyun assuring uncle that even though he’d be sleeping in the same room as me, we’d make sure we did not embarrass anyone in the family. He said we’d be sleeping with our door open. I was so proud of him at that time. Our phone conversations apart, he was sensitive to the need of circumspection while we shared a room. In the family where even imo and uncle slept apart, the closing of our bedroom door while anyone was awake would be highly disrespectful.

My other family arrived and a lot of time was spent in greeting and welcoming. The knots in my guts made themselves known yet again. Appa gave Jonghyun a long look of appraisal. I could make out he was wondering about Jonghyun’s role in our lives as he was present every time appa visited us. I didn’t think I owed him any clarifications so I kept silent, he wouldn’t understand anyway.

Jongin absolutely loved the toy. He took out about a dozen small toy cars from his bag and started playing with his vehicles. Minki was sitting in Kibum’s lap telling him how she was going to learn to ride a bike when she grew up. Kibum also gave Jonghyun a long look when Minki mentioned he would be teaching her. Jonghyun looked him straight in the eye till Kibum looked away. When Minki sat in puppy’s lap again, Kibum came over to me and sat down beside me.

“Hyung, why is he always around?”

“Who Kibum?”

“Jonghyun, your friend.”

“You answered it yourself. He is my friend.”

“Who is making future plans with Minki? Is that wise?”

“Why does it make a difference?”

“Hyung I miss you. Please come back. Your house is empty now. You can live there again.”

“I cannot live there Kibum. I am happy in imo’s house. I plan to stay here.”

“Don’t you want to be near us hyung? We are your family. You know we love you. I love you. Please come back.”

“No Kibum, I will not come back. I refuse to live with people who consider me a liar.”

He looked taken aback at my straight forwardness.   

“We believe you hyung. We always did. It was just a misunderstanding at that time with everyone not thinking straight. Please don’t hold it against us hyung. We all miss you and Minki. Appa keeps talking all the time about you. Your brother loses his temper quickly but he is not bad at heart. He really cares for you.”

“Kibum I know my family very well. Better than even you in fact. I am content where I am. I have no plans to move out.”

“What are you two whispering? Appa asked

“I am trying to convince hyung to move back with us,” Kibum explained.

Uncle spoke up, “Jinki is not going anywhere. He will stay with us.”

Appa responded to uncle, “Ho-jin you are inviting a leech to live with you. He’d be nothing but a leech to you for the rest of your life, you dry, like he has been to me all his life.”

I felt as if I had been slapped.

Jonghyun got up from his place, “I will request you to be careful with your words ajeossi. If you cannot respect him then don’t disrespect him either.”

“Don’t interfere in our family matter.” Appa warned him.

“He is family.” Uncle informed.

“Hyeongbu you say you treat your children equally, is Taemin also a leech to you?” Imo spoke up.

“Dae Hei how can you compare the two. Taemin is looking after his own family.”

“With all the money you have given him hyeongbu. Even Jinki’s share.” Imo continued to argue.

I took out the house key from my pocket where I had placed it earlier in my indecision. I went to the key holder and took the car keys. I put them both in front of appa.

“I am not a leech appa. I thought I was your son. I never realized I was nothing but a leech to you. I am returning the last of your gifts to you. The house and the car. If you want, you can calculate the money you have spent on me from my birth till date. I will pay it all back to you.”

My voice broke at the end. Jonghyun squeezed my shoulder to lend me his strength. He looked at uncle for permission and on receiving a nod, he led me away to the kitchen. He immediately wrapped his arms around me and put my head on his shoulder.

“Yeobo don’t pay attention to him. Ignore whatever he says. He just wants to hurt you. He wants to drive a wall between you and uncle. He cannot see uncle replacing him as your father. He is saying all this in frustration.”

I stood stiff. My body was as numb as my brain. “I am a leech Jonghyun. My family thinks of me as a blood er. He is right. I have been him dry since my birth. And now I have latched on to uncle and you.”

“No, no yeobo. You are nothing like that. Please don’t think that. I love you. We are one. We are a part of each other. I am nothing without you yeobo. Please see yourself through my eyes and you will know how precious you are to me.”

“I am just a leech Jonghyun.”

He guided me to sit in the dining chair and called Soo. He left me with Soo and went back to the family room.

Imo was calmly reminding my father of all his promises to me. Jonghyun went and stood in front of my father. I know because I followed him.

“How dare you say something like that to Jinki? Do you even have any idea of how emotionally and physically scarred he is after his life with Minho? And you come to give him more scars? If you cannot love him, if you cannot heal him, at least do not hurt him anymore. Do not undo all the healing done by us. What harm has he done to you except to love you? Is this the price he has to pay for loving you? Isn’t what he has suffered till now enough? What kind of heartless monsters all of you are?”

“No Jjong, don’t say anything more that you will regret later.” I stopped his further words with my hand on his arm.

“Let me please. Someone needs to open their eyes to make them see what they did and are doing.”

Appa directed his anger at Jonghyun, “And who the hell are you to tell me anything about me or my family. You two-won earner are telling me what is right and wrong. What is your place in life at all? Who has given you the right to talk to me? This boy? This useless boy who has not done anything sensible through his whole life?”

“And for that you punish him by hurting him again and again? Are you really a father? Do you even consider him your son? And I don’t need anybody’s permission to correct a wrong. You are wrong ajeossi. Plain and simple, wrong.” Jonghyun continued.

Minki began to cry. We both looked at her. Jonghyun immediately picked her up. He held my arm and turned to uncle. “Uncle permit me to take them away please. We will be back in an hour or so. If you want us back earlier, please call me.”

Uncle nodded and Jonghyun guided us out. Once outside, he consoled Minki to stop crying with a promise of a happy meal from McDonald. We silently agreed to talk later and to concentrate only on Minki for the moment. We both pasted smiles on our faces and put cheer in our voices.

In McDonald we got her a happy meal and she munched away at her burger and played with the toy. Then went to the children’s play area and played in the balls with her ajeossi. She was a happy little girl again. We joked and laughed with her. Before starting for home, Jonghyun called uncle for an update. He was informed everyone had left immediately after eating dinner.

We went back home. They were waiting for us to have dinner with us. At the dining table, mood was somber but no one mentioned what had happened earlier. After dinner we brought the desserts I had put in the freezer – sundaes from McDonald. At least the girls cheered up with that. Sensing the atmosphere, Soo took Jiyeon and Minki for their baths and closed the bedroom door, giving us the required privacy to talk.

Imo handed me the keys and hugged me, “Jinki these are yours? Don’t pay any attention to your father. I gave him a solid piece of my mind today for talking nonsense.”

I hugged her back, “Don’t fight with him for me imo. Why spoil your relations with him? And these are not mine. I don’t want them.”

Imo interrupted, “Don’t be stubborn Jinki. Be practical. You need a car to go to work.”

“I don’t actually imo. We can always go back to your old routine of uncle dropping us off to school in the morning and we can use public transport to return. If necessary, I will buy my own car later. Remaining time Jonghyun’s bike is there. “

“Dae Hei, Jinki is right. Return the keys to Daewon-ssi. After what he said today, Jinki should not take even a single won from him. He doesn’t need to anyway.”

“Return them please imo.”

Jonghyun spoke then, “Imo don’t worry. Please do as toki requests. I have applied for department housing today. It may take some time to get processed but it will be allotted. Two months ago, I had put his name for all my benefits from the department. Child-related benefits for Minki are also under processing. I have made sure that both of them will be provided for imo. Don’t worry.”

I stared at him. He’d been planning a life with me very seriously for a long time now.

Uncle began laughing softly. “Give me the keys Dae Hei. I will have an office boy drive the car back to Daewon-ssi’s house and give him the house key as well.”

Imo handed over the keys. She then looked at Jonghyun and smiled, “Welcome to the family. I had no idea toki’s lapdog had such big teeth and such a ferocious side.”

Jonghyun blushed, “I couldn’t see him hurt toki. I am sorry, I spoke out of place. I hope you did not hear anything wrong because of my lack of control.”

“It was worth it Jonghyun. It was so totally worth it. You should have seen the look in all their faces when you picked up Minki and walked out with them. It took the wind out of their sails. Hyeongbu immediately sobered up after that. You are just what they need. I don’t think they will say anything more to Jinki after tonight.”

Minki put an end to our discussion as she came bounding up to us and climbed into my lap, “Ummappa I am sleepy.”