43.  Couvade Syndrome

Since the ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy, puppy was grinning all the time. He had a new bounce in his step. Once in a while all of a sudden he’d whoop and raise his hands in the air in cheer. All by himself.

He had climbed Mount Everest. He was going to have a byong. He began messaging again at all odd hours from his work.

Yeobo I love you

Love you too jagi. R u dancing once again?

Can’t help it. ultrasnd does not leave my mind. Though I still cant remember seeing our byong there

Don’t worry I couldn’t either. It will be a few more weeks before we can see it.

Want to kiss u

U sent me kisses just an hour ago

Can I come to hagwon n kiss u

No u shud stay away. All mamas hav gon crazy

What did they do now?

I m laying down on a couch who knows from where it appeared in my office n one is reading my emails for me and will type my answers which I will dictate while lying down. She is an ex-secretary n decided she will b my sectry till byong’s born

Hehehe tell her to keep up the good work

She is 56 n granny of one student. Her daughter claims she is best pregnancy caretaker

I will come n get her flowers

Do that in the evening. Save your leaves for delivery

But I want to kiss u now

In front of her?

Oh :( sob sob

Nite

10

5

12

6

20

Where all?

All over. U said you’d lose interest?

I didn’t factor in a y dragon

What u doing now?

Feeling y

Whats gran doing?

Gone out to talk to Cinder

Touch your s for me

No I m not going y in my office

Want to kiss our baby. Is the red circle still there or u removed it again?

I hav stopped removing it. u just mark it again. I think it will be permanent soon

Yeobo I want to eat u up

Ah appa dragon is hungry. Go eat food

U r tastier

Stop making me at work

How ?

Very very very

Deep or shallow tonite?

Any

Hard or gentle?

Gentle

Fast or slow?

Stop. This is not helping.

Should I come n personally help u

erted puppy

Always for u

U r making my s tingle again. don’t do this to me jagi

Then stop telling me what u r feeling

Stop texting

Can’t help it

Neither can i

y tokki

Always for u

Bite bite

Your super calling again. go work

“Yes Siwon?”

“I will take his phone away Jinki and for good this time. Or I will ban his phone at work.”

“Your time will come Siwon. Don’t get jealous.”

“Do you know he is grinning like an idiot and while texting you he patted and kissed a juvenile delinquent on his head telling him to keep up the good work and make his parents proud?”

“And what did the delinquent say to that?”

“He has run off to his home swearing loudly that he would turn a new leaf immediately if only we keep the crazy officer away from him.”

“Now isn’t that a good thing? Puppy made a juvie stop misbehaving without any legal action. I think you should gather all the local juvies in one room and let him loose amongst them. Your crime rate by minors will go down.”

“Hehehehe. But it’s really not funny Jinki. Stop making me laugh at his antics. Who heard of kissing criminals to stop crime?”

“Hmm Siwon, who heard of pregnant men? Maybe some juvies turned to crime because of lack of love at home? Put your bouncing Jjong to work and make him give a hug and kiss to all juvies. Start a new program in the station – ‘Love Your Juvie’ and make puppy hug and kiss every juvie brought in from now onwards. First read up to make sure it is not illegal. He will father them till they are fed up of his hugs and kisses and start behaving just to avoid him, I think.”

“How can you make something so crazy sound totally logical? I will discuss this with the superiors and put your puppy to good use.”

“Seriously?”

“Of course. What’s the harm in trying? Every program we have right now did originate from some brain at some time. I never knew ‘hare brain’ works so well.”

“Go roar at someone Simba and stop purring at me. And don’t take away his phone. He will go crazy without it. It’s just his way of keeping in touch with me to know everything is alright. Show some sympathy or I will make your life miserable when it’s your turn.”

“But tone it down you two.”

“Okay. I got another idea. You can even start an “Adopt a Juvie” program where you designate family time for juvies with your most loving and understanding officers. They go for dinners and family outings with the officer and his family. Maybe we can offer free studies at our two hagwons for those juvies who correct their behavior and want to have a better life.”

“Jinki I swear you and Cinderella will soon become Citizens of the Year if this continues. In my opinion your decorations were due this year but it’s your relationships that made them change their mind. Imagine awarding a medal to gays in Korea.”

“That would be really funny.”

“I have to run. My turn to get a scolding. Let me write up your two ideas to show it was a productive work-related call and not a social chat. Take care and give my love to Cinderella.”

With Siwon’s might behind them, the three juvenile delinquency programs were quickly initiated at their station. All the juvies who responded positively to hugs and kisses by puppy were quickly adopted by police families for a period of three months. We admitted them in our hagwons for improving their school grades and counseled them in how to improve their life and future. Part time jobs were arranged for those from poor families.

At the end of the first month of the juvenile program, everyone declared it a huge success in terms of achievement. We just had to wait and see if it worked in the long run. That’s where their enrolment in hagwon became crucial. We were once again approached by the local tv channel to record and broadcast a documentary on the juvie program. We directed them to the police station as the initiative was theirs, we were just supporting them.

A program was recorded keeping the juvie identities secret. We did not want anyone to suffer from discrimination in our hagwons or the society. That would undo all the improvement.

Before we realized it, the baby was nearly 5 weeks old. During the ultrasound we heard and saw the fluttering heart. The doctor pointed out the teeny red dot on the screen that was the heart of our baby. Puppy promptly burst into tears. Through his tears he took out his red marking pen and marked a bigger circle on my abdomen. He got the ultrasound recorded to show everyone at home and a photograph for his photo album.

The doctor told me to be prepared for sympathetic pregnancy. According to him, there was a strong chance that puppy would exhibit similar symptoms like me as the pregnancy progressed. I comforted my puppy who was still sobbing his heart out ‘in happiness’.

It was a crazy week. And I geared up for even crazier days ahead. Puppy was a delight to watch. His s began to tingle and became sensitive. He cried at the drop of a hat. And he slept a lot. Even more than me.

In our 6^th week ultrasound we heard the strong sound of baby’s heart beat. It was clearer than the week before and the doctor pointed out baby’s head to us. We got another recording and photograph. I dried my puppy’s tears as the doctor talked to me. Puppy was too busy crying. I got medicine to combat morning sickness if and when it began.

It struck in the middle of the week, in the middle of the day. I thanked whoever had brought in the couch into my office. I was spending most of my day on it anyway. When I related it to puppy later at dinner, he promptly rushed to the bathroom and threw up his dinner. All of us stared at him. He was really one very weird puppy.

That night he insisted that I make love to him. I wondered aloud if he took any of my prescribed hormones. He shook his head.

It was like both of us were pregnant. His body was as sensitive as mine. He was more emotional than me. When I tried to take away my pregnancy books from him, puppy began howling. I gave them back to him and he hugged them to his chest. He let go of them only when I promised I wouldn’t hide them.

He opened the book to the chapters on weeks 8 and 9 of pregnancy. He checked each symptom with me and then marked them in the book. He memorized the baby’s growth. And checked the image with byong’s image. Our weeks were counted differently this time from the book as we did not count first two week before fertilization.

Puppy had made it a nightly ritual to check my body for changes and then make sweet gentle love with me. He stopped tossing the coin. It was now him bottoming on demand. And if I didn’t agree, he would burst into tears convinced that I did not find him y anymore. It would take me many hours to convince him that he was always y to me. I found it was easier to give in before tear dam burst.

During our next week’s appointment I discussed this in detail with the doctor only to be informed that my puppy was suffering from Couvade Syndrome. His body was mimicking my pregnancy symptoms. Reasons for his strangeness were his stress as a first time father, concern for my male pregnancy, and empathy for my suffering due to his extreme love for me. His hormone tests showed them totally out of balance. I was assured that it would resolve with time or as soon as I delivered. Puppy just looked adoringly at me and kept whispering “You are amazing tokki. You know so much.”

Oh my god! This pregnancy was way too much fun. My puppy kept me in a happy mood all the time. When he cried, I forgot my mood swings. I tried not to laugh while calming him down. He was the best stress buster of my life.

I love you jagi. You r the best

Love u too yeobo. U r amazing

Why r u crying now?

I love u so much yeobo. How did u know I was crying?

Your text was dripping wet. I had to dry it before reading it

Hehehe u r funny tokki

Always for u puppy why were u crying

Becoz I m scared of losing u

U r not going to lose me. I m safe n sound.

Lov u yeobo take care. Let me know if u need my help with anything

Love u too jagi I will let u know. I am totally ok for now. tissue for your eyes

Thanks xoxo