[princess!luhan and shixun; set in ancient china]

In a distant land, filled with rich minerals and surrounded by mountains as well as rivers, lies Chang'an. It was picturesque country known for their delicious food, painting like scenery and beautiful woman.

It was the place which Luhan loved with all of her heart, this was the place that she grown up. The familiar sights, the laughter of people who she cherished and now, she was going to sacrifice herself for this place.

What does being responsible mean?

She honestly didn’t know for that matter. Going across the border and having to marry the Turkish Prince was her responsiblity, that was what everyone had been telling her. It had been drilled into her from young that her worth was amount to being able to sacrifice herself so that this country could retain the peace it had.

How does one grow up?

She didn’t know that too. Maybe she had grown up when she realised that her father cared nothing for her and her mother had pushed Luhan forward when they wanted one of the Princesses to marry the Turkish Prince.

The only reason her mother pushed for was simply to gain the affection of her father. But to Luhan, her life was thrown into turmoil. Or maybe she was just kidding herself, she didn’t have any freedom in deciding where she wanted her life to go. Her life was set from day one, who she marry, how to behave so that she was worthy of the princess's title. 

Her freedom to make her decision was taken out of her hand when she came into this world. The thought of running away did cross her mind but at what price? She couldn’t bear the sin of having thrown this country into a war because of her selfishness and her unwillingness.

It didn’t matter anymore, her whole life didn’t matter. It was cruel, it was harsh and it had taken her so long to come to terms with it. She had cried herself to sleep at night, be at the unfairness of this world. But still, nothing changed. 

If possible, she rather that she wasn’t a Princess. If possible, she didn’t want all these riches and comfort. All she wanted was simply to go around this world, broaden her horizons instead of being trapped in this expensive cage.

This palace was a cage in disguise, killing people’s hope and their humanity as they tried to survive against each other. Yet as hard as she tried, she couldn’t turn her back on this place, she couldn’t turn her back on her Princess’s title.

It was all that she had known, it all all that she was taught.  

It was the day before she had to set off, Luhan didn’t do anything besides packing her stuff. Not that there was much to take away from this place, there wasn’t anything worthwhile to bring along.

“Han – er,” Luhan turned back when she heard the familiar voice. The man who stood in front of her was the man that she wanted to marry but alas, that was a dream never meant to come true.

“Shixun,” her face showed nonchalant despite her wanting to simply drop everything and hugged him tightly. “You shouldn’t have come – “

“I – Don’t go and run away with me,” Shixun took a step toward her as she moved back. “We will run to a place where no one knows us and – “

Luhan shook her head sadly, that was another dream that couldn’t come true, “Shixun, you are going to be the future prime minster of this country and this isn’t something you should say or do.”

“I don’t care, what’s wrong with wanting to protect the woman I love – “

Luhan hurried forward, placing a finger on his lips to stop him from talking. The tears were flowing, those were words that couldn’t be said out loud. “Don’t say anything anymore.”

Shixun relented and simply settled for hugging Luhan, trying to remember the feel of her body against his. Leaning down, he placed a kiss gently on her lips. Those lips which he will never had a chance to taste again, “Luhan, Luhan, Luhan – “

Shixun simply repeated her name again and again as he placed those kisses on her lips, forehead, eyes and cheeks.

In the sedan, Luhan was dressed in the finest bridal grown. Her make-up had been done with the utmost carefulness, her hairdo was combed by her mother as the last parting gift. Luhan didn’t cry, not even once when her mother hugged her, telling her to be happy.

It had been extremely cruel of her mother asking that of her when she had known that Luhan won’t have any happiness. The Turkish Prince was forty years old this year and last she heard, he had more than ten concubines.

How was Luhan supposed to feel happy marrying such a man? Not to mention that she was going to be the outsider in that place. She had to familiarize herself with the country’s culture, speak a language she didn’t know and marry her man she won’t love.

Hearing the command for the sedan to set off, Luhan tightened the hold on the handkerchief in her hands and she could taste blood on her lips from bitting too hard. But still she didn't cry, all her tears had been spent yesterday night. 

Goodbye to this place where she grows up.

Goodbye to her family who was part of her life once.

Her back was ramrod straight, there wasn’t any more of those conflicting feelings. Her only regret was that Shixun couldn’t see her off but she guessed that was rather cruel of her to ask that of him.

Goodbye to the man she had loved and will always love.

Wu Shixun.

Shixun did head to the gate and saw the sedan setting off. The woman who he loved was going to marry another man, a sight he didn't want to see but he was powerless to stop this from happening. They were bound by their responsiblities, they were bound by their duties and their blood lineage. Soon, Shixun will be made the Prime Minster of this country after his father stepped down.

He will be the one to govern this country that Luhan had loved so much, to take her place and protect this place so that her sacrifice will be worthwhile.

Goodbye to the girl who had grown into the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Goodbye to the woman who will always have his heart.

Fifth Princess of China, Luhan. 

*an: honestly, i still think that i am rather lacking in writing angst. so i guess maybe the next few drabbles will most be angst or whatever that strikes me. but if you guys have an angsty prompt, do drop it in my ask.fm! 

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