[prompt: insecure!luhan who is blind.]

Not being able to see had its disadvantage at times especially now when Luhan desperately wanted to know how Sehun looked like. The younger male had put Luhan’s hands on his face, letting him trace his features but it wasn’t enough.

It will probably never be enough, Luhan not only wanted to hear Sehun’s voice, feel Sehun’s heartbeat and hold Sehun’s hands, he wanted to see how Sehun looked like when he smiled. He wanted to see how beautiful the younger male was ­– yes, Luhan was selfish.

The younger male had been the one who came up to Luhan, he had been the one who stayed and managed to worm his way into Luhan’s heart with his kindness and tenderness. He didn’t mind Luhan being blind and he had never once lost his temper with Luhan nor treated Luhan as inferior.

“You are beautiful,” he would whisper it into Luhan’s ears at night, under the cover of stars. “Very beautiful.”

It was on the tip of Luhan’s tongue to say that Sehun was beautiful too. He didn’t know about his appearance but his heart was definitely beautiful. Such a male made Luhan insecure because what did Sehun see in him?

He wasn’t normal, he will never be normal and – life just isn’t fair. Love had turned Luhan weak, it made him so vulnerable and he was scared. Scared of the day that Sehun will started to despise him, scared of the day that Sehun will leave him.

When it was night and he felt Sehun sleeping, Luhan had his side so that he could face Sehun. He placed his hand on Sehun’s heart, wanting to feel his heartbeat. This was a sign, an assurance that Sehun was still here with him. A sign that they were still together.

Times like these, Sehun would grab his hand before spooning him. Telling Luhan to sleep in his sleepy voice, telling Luhan that he will always be here. He wrapped Luhan up in a cocoon of love, surrounding him with his presence, holding Luhan’s hands and telling him not to be afraid.

This warmed Luhan’s heart and dispelled his fear of being abandon. But even that couldn’t dispel that deep rooted fear when he heard rumours in school of another girl confessing to Sehun. The murmurings that started when Sehun was with him, he guessed everyone possibly thinking Sehun was wasted on him. The younger male could have anyone he wanted but he had chose Luhan.

Sehun would usually place his headphones on for him as he held Luhan’s hands, daring anyone to stop him. Daring anyone to tell him that this love was wrong.

All those had been the assurances that Sehun had given him but Luhan couldn’t bring himself to keep Sehun shackled to him. He had to stop being selfish.

“We are not breaking up – “

“Yes, we are.” Luhan retorted. “I am leaving you because I – I don’t love you anymore.”

“Lies,” Sehun took a step closer to him, his voice unbearably soft. “Don’t say things that hurt yourselves, don’t say things that hurt me.”

“No – “

“If that was the truth, then why do you look so sad?” Sehun thumbed his tears away for him gently. “Why do you look so heartbroken?”

“Sehun, don’t.” Luhan took a step back but before he could, Sehun had already hugged him. Hugged him so tightly, afraid that if he let go, Luhan might really leave.

“I am scared too, I am scared that what if I am not doing a good job for you. I am scared of you wanting to leave me because I didn’t love you enough. I am scared of our relationships falling apart because of your insecurities.” Sehun confessed, his forehead on Luhan’s. “So let’s figure this out together, as long as you are here with me, we can figure everything out slowly.”

“But what if you get tired – “

“Do you know that the first time that I saw you, I have already decided that you will be my endgame?” Sehun confessed. “My heart isn’t big enough for anyone else, having you is enough. I need you.”

Luhan swallowed, he might never be able to see Sehun. He might never be what other deemed as suitable for Sehun but he didn’t care.

Not anymore as he held Sehun’s hand. "I need you too."