[prompt: mute!luhan]

Luhan always felt that not being able to talk wasn’t that much of a big deal. Due to a serious illness at the age of fourteen, he found himself unable to speak ever since. He remembered how he fell into depression because of it, he even contemplated if he should end his life.

It took him a month to get himself back on his feet when he saw how his mother had cried secretly at night.  His mother was probably more upset than Luhan and he couldn't forgive himself if he hurt his mother any further. He learnt to convince himself that if you wanted to convey something, words weren’t needed; they weren't necessary.  

He could convey what he wanted to say in other ways like writing it down or through his actions. Yet, that conviction was wavering when he saw Oh Sehun being confessed to by one of his many admirers.  

Oh Sehun, the perfect prince charming that all girls dreamt of. He was smart, good looking and it didn’t help that he was nice. For one reason or another, Sehun had went out of his way to be Luhan’s friend.

At first, he thought that Sehun was simply using him to pass time. Maybe this was some bet that he had with his friends and at the end of the day, he would just drop Luhan after getting what he wanted. 

Luhan was really cold to him but Sehun never gave up, he walked him to his class. He helped him carry his stuff and Luhan’s resolve at not being his friend simply crumbled bit by bit when he got to know Sehun. The male never made fun of him and he had treated Luhan as though he was normal. There was no pity in his eyes and Luhan realised that by giving him a chance, he was giving himself a chance as well.

Therefore, he dropped his guard and over time, they grew from friends to best friends.

One was rarely seen without another and Luhan started to realise that his feelings for Sehun went beyond friendship. But alas, that feeling was never to be spoke of because Luhan wasn’t normal. He will never be what other deemed as suitable no matter how hard he tried.

Taking one last look at the confession scene, Luhan was about to walk away when he heard Sehun’s answer. “I am sorry but I am in love with someone else.”

That gave Luhan pause because as Sehun’s best friend, he didn't even realise that the male had someone he loved. The girl had nodded after that and went away without much fuss. Not wanting to be caught for eavesdropping, Luhan hastened to his classroom.

Luhan couldn't help it, he was a curious child by nature and he often got into trouble because of that. However, he really wanted to know who Sehun loved. Deep down, one of the reason that he wanted to know who Sehun loved was because he wanted to see if that person was better him. If that person was better than it made giving up on Sehun much easier.

But there was a deep rooted fear, fear which Luhan never told anyone. What if Sehun realised that he didn't need Luhan? What if he started to compare his crush to Luhan and found how the latter was lacking? No, Luhan refused to be the one who got hurt first. 

He knew that if Sehun was to do any of those, his heart would probably break into pieces. Pieces which was so fine that Luhan would need a long time to pick everything up before piecing it back together. To protect himself and save himself the heartache, Luhan decided to be the one who walked out first. 

His effort at escaping Sehun managed to last for a week until the male trapped him in his class. Sehun wasn’t smiling at him and he had looked downright scary that made Luhan realised, perhaps, he had hurt Sehun in his attempt to protect himself.

“Luhan, look at me.” Sehun said and Luhan shook his head, refusing to meet his eyes. “Are you seriously going to do this to me?”

Luhan bit down on his lips, still not wanting to meet Sehun’s eyes. He was afraid of being unable to stop his tears if he was to look at him. It was useless, despite not seeing Sehun, the longing didn't lessen one bit. Luhan missed the male more than before and it made him realised how deep he had fallen.

“Honestly, what the hell am I supposed to do with you?” Sehun sounded extremely displeased and there was the undisguised hurt in his voice. “How could you just decide to not be friends anymore? Leaving such a note in my locker instead of telling me isn’t very nice of you.”

This time round, Luhan looked right into Sehun’s eyes. Yes, he had hurt him and Luhan didn't know how selfish he was until this moment. 

“If I have done something wrong, then tell me.” Sehun placed his forehead against Luhan’s forehead. “If I screwed up somewhere, say it. Don’t just avoid me because that really hurt.”

Sorry. Luhan’s arms went around Sehun, letting his head rest on his chest. This was his way of apologizing and after a while Sehun returned the hug as well. 

“You – I am not going to let you out of my sight anymore. I am going to hold your hands so tightly and make you fall for me so deep that you can’t escape me anymore.” Sehun softened his voice with each word, Luhan’s heart started to beat even faster. “If that isn’t clear enough, I am confessing now – “

Before Sehun could continue on, Luhan had already reached up and kissed him on his lips like what he wanted to do since forever.

I love you.

Words that Luhan weren't able to say yet Sehun could feel it in the way Luhan kissed him, looked at him and the dazzling smile which followed after.