The Block B Cult

Suicide Notes

(Sing the first several lines to the song "Deck the Halls" :D)

Day Thirty-Seven


~ 블락비 ~


"'Tis the season for some candles." I sang as I arranged the candles in a big circle.

"Bwa ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha." P.O continued as he lit each candle I put down. "Don't forget a-bout the clo-oaks~"

"Bwa ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha." I finished.

Before we could sing the next verse, B-Bomb interrupted us. "Can you guys shut up? Why are you singing to the tunes of Christmas carols? It's not even Christmas!"

"Well we might as well have fun while we're preparing for you-know-what." P.O smiled.

"It's not like we're referring to Voldemort or anything." B-Bomb said which caused P.O to exaggerate his gasp.

"You said his name!" P.O did another gasp.

B-Bomb rolled his eyes. I sighed and said, "In this situation it's like saying Voldemort's name—" P.O gasped again as I rolled my eyes. "Anyways, it's not like we can say what we're doing outloud. He might find out."

"True." B-Bomb nodded. "Let's just finish setting up." No one must speak out loud of the events going on, so I'll just inform everyone now in a nonspoken monologue. Why did I just use an english literary term? The author's english teacher must be making her memorize a ten-line monologue to recite after her winter break... Anyways, back to what I was saying, we are in the middle of setting up for our ritual to bring Hanhae back to the land of the living in case you guys couldn't figure it out earlier. I'm pretty skeptical as to whether this will work or not, but then again with all the weird things that have been happening ever since I was put in this institution, I wouldn't be surprised if it did work. Hell, I'd be more surprised if it didn't.

"Where did you put the incense sticks?" B-Bomb asked as Taeil, Zico, and Kyung came into the room.

"I have them." Zico waved the bag of sticks around as he threw them to Kyung.

"Now I have them." Kyung said before throwing the bag back to Zico.

"And now I have them." Zico threw the bag to Kyung.

"And yet again, I hav—"

"Shut up." B-Bomb growled. "We know you guys have them!"

"Yeah, let's get back to finishing out task." I sighed. "Can someone grab the cloaks and masks from my room? I put them on the bed."

Zico and Kyung looked at each other. They then turned to Taeil and continued to stare at the shark. Taeil rolled his eyes and sighed. "Fine, I'll go get them."

Taeil then left the room as the Zikyung pair high-fived each other. "Zikyung strikes again!" The two said in unison.

"Okay, since he's getting the cloaks, do you have 'Hanhae' right now?" P.O looked at me.

", I forgot to get him from his room." I sighed. "Who wants to go gather up Hanhae's flesh and intestines with me?"

"Ooh!! Me! Pick me!" Zico and Kyung both raised their hands and jumped up and down.

"Gee, I wonder who I should pick." I said in a sarcastic tone. "Let's go." The two ran ahead of me to Hanhae's room.

"Oh, one more thing." P.O said, "Get U-Kwon here as well but don't tell him what we're doing... somehow."

"And how would I do that?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Knock him out or something." I then proceeded to go to Hanhae's room, walking really slowly. No need to rush since we have all the time in the world. As I got to Hanhae's room I saw Zico and Kyung standing outside, not entering the room but just standing there and looking through the open door.

"Why are you guys just standing there?" I questioned as I told them to move. When they wouldn't, I pushed them away and peered inside. I continued staring into the room and realized what they were looking at. "Guys?"

"Yeah?" they said after a pause.

"Where is Hanhae's flesh?"

"I think it's gone." Kyung answered.

"I know that!" I glared at him. "Since there is nothing where all of his flesh used to be two days ago!"

"Correction," Zico said. "There's air."

"Thanks." I rolled my eyes as I walked into the room. I observed the entire room. It was in the same state, sort of, as before Hanhae exploded. "This is weird...." I mumbled. "Why is the room cleaner than before?"

"What are you looking for?" a voice said. I looked up to see U-Kwon sitting in the same spot that he was the night Hanhae died.

"Oh, uh..."

"If you're looking for Hanhae's body, well... flesh, I disposed of it. It's not longer here." U-Kwon smirked.

"Well, obviously." Zico rolled his eyes.

U-Kwon looked to the boys in the doorway. "I see that you two now know that I killed Hanhae." He then looked back at me. "I thought I told you not to tell anyone."

I put my arms up in front of me. "I didn't say anything. You just told them right now."

"Oh."

"Yup."

"Yeahh."

"So anyways, where did you put him?" I asked.

"He's in here." U-Kwon patted his tummy with his tail.

"Ew." I scrunched up my face in disgust.

"Oh ." Zico stared at Hanhae.

"Dude," Kyung pointed at him. "You have a tail!"

"Yes I do, thanks for pointing out what's obvious." U-Kwon rolled his eyes.

"Not only that, it's blue!" Zico exclaimed.

U-Kwon and I stared at each other before we sighed. "What simpletons." He said.

"I know." I nodded in agreement. "So how do I get Hanhae back now? Do I just wait for him to be digested?"

"You could do that." He smirked. "But what would you need him for?"

"Eeehhhh, proper burial?"

"Sure, because we all know that's true." U-Kwon stood up from his seat and made his way over to me.

"Waiting for him to digest Hanhae is going to take too long." Kyung groaned as he and Zico walked over to us as well. "So we have a quicker method."

"And what would that be?" U-Kwon raised an eyebrow.

Kyung looked at Zico and nodded. Zico grinned before saying, "Say night-night." He then took a shovel from behind his back and hit U-Kwon across the head, knocking him out. "There, problem solved. Now grab his arms while I get his legs."

"Should I even ask where you got the shovel?" I looked at him as I watched Kyung grab U-Kwon's arms as the two started to carry U-Kwon out the door.

"If you want." Zico shrugged as he stepped out of the room first, followed by Kyung. They knocked U-Kwon's head into the doorknob without realizing it.

"That must hurt..." I winced as I followed them back to the living room where the cult was taking place.

"Took you guys long enough." P.O said when we entered the room.

"Well, U-Kwon had already gotten rid of the flesh by eating it so we had to knock him out. But hey, we have both of them here." I said, "One is in front of you, and the other is seperated from us by U-Kwon's tummy."

"Okay. This works too." P.O shrugged before handing Zico, Kyung, and me a cloak and a mask. The rest were already wearing theirs. "Put U-Kwon in the middle of the circle of candles and then go put on the cloak and mask. Close the lights while you're at it."

The three of us then put on the black cloaks with the hood on our head. Then we put on the mask that covered our face except for one eye. Aren't these masks cool? Well, they are until you accidentally poke your revealed eye with an incense stick. Anyways, after we did so, we all gathered around the circle and took a seat as Taeil went to 'close' the lights since no one else wanted to do it.

"Are you guys ready to start our ritual?" P.O asked and everyone shrugged in response. "Let us start. The Block B Cult! First you have me, P.O. To my right is Jaehyo. Next to him is Zico. Next to Zico is Kyung. Next to him is B-Bomb. Next to B-Bomb and on my left is Tae—"

"Just get it on with damn it! We already know who everyone is." B-Bomb growled.

"Okay, okay geez." P.O pouted. "I'll start officially now then." He cleared his throat and stayed silent for several moments with his eyes closed.

We all stared at him wondering if we had to close our eyes too. Zico then asked, "Do we close our eyes like he does?"

Everyone shrugged and P.O opened one eye looking at us, "Close your eyes guys. Just do everything I do unless I say you don't have to. Now Jaehyo, where is the fizzy lemonade?"

I gave him the bottle of fizzy lemonade while we all closed our eyes. Hm, my eyelids sure are dark. It was silent for the next five minutes. Each of us slowly opened one eye to see why P.O didn't say anything to continue the ritual.

"Yah!" B-Bomb threw a pillow a P.O. "Why are you just sitting there sipping your lemonade?! Get on with it so I can leave!"

"Okay geez!" P.O put his lemonade down and cleared his throat. "Ohhhmmm..... Shisus, oh holy one. Please come forth."

It was silent again as we all stared at P.O, who had his eyes closed and was mumbling something, I'm not sure what... "What's he doing?" I heard Kyung mumble to Zico.

As we stared curiously at P.O, we started to feel a rumbling on the ground. "Holy ! Earthquake!" Zico then hid behind Kyung and clutched his head. Kyung sat there, having a mini-spaz attack.

"Annyeong Shisus!" P.O grinned.

"Why have you awakened me?" A deep voice bellowed.

"We have summoned you today for a special reason. We would like to bring back someone because he was blown up by a U-Kwon Demon thing." P.O nodded.

"Do you have a sacrifice for me?"

"The sacrifice is placed before you." P.O said.

"Good. But to bring someone back is very difficult. I might need even two sacrifices—Is that fizzy lemonade?" Are you frickin' serious? He's asking for lemonade?

"Why yes it is." P.O said.

"Oh I miscalculated. This task is fairly simple."

"Oh my god..." B-Bomb mumbled.

"How dare you say the name of the lord in vain!"

"Just ignore him please. He has issues." P.O told him, causing B-Bomb to growl.

"Let the process begin."

As we all waited for this Shisus guy to continue, U-Kwon apparently regained conscious. How did I know? Well, he started groaning and stood up. "You... How dare you guys knock me out with a shovel." As he said this, dark make-up started to appear on his face, making him even more demonic-like. His lips turned completely black, like he had lipstick on. Above his eyes were purple eyelids like he had eyeshadow on.

"That's so cool." Kyung whispered. "He can magically apply make-up."

"This is not make-up you twit." U-Kwon glared at him. Before U-Kwon could attack Zico and Kyung someone entered the room squealing like a woman.

"Oh my Panda baby!" I turned to see Jokwon hopping up and down, alternating feet. "What happened to U-Kwonnie?" He proceeded to squeal again like the woman that he is as he grabbed a bat from the corner and hit U-Kwon across the back of his head, causing the demonic boy to drop to the ground. As the body dropped to the ground Jokwon began to have a spaz attack.

"That's one way to take care of that..." B-Bomb mumbled.

"Eww, he needs lessons on how to apply make-up." Jokwon scoffed before leaving the room. We all stared at the unconscious boy in silence.

"Can we move on?"

"Yes." We all said in unison.

"Okay. I need absolute silence." We all waited, being as quiet as possible... Until we heard slurping noises. "Mm, where did you get this fizzy lemonade?"

"Augh, just get on with it!" I shouted.

"Silence! Didn't you hear me the first time?!" I rolled my eyes. "Anyways, continuing on. Ohm... SHABALABASHUKUKU!!!" Oww, that was loud. I think my ears might be bleeding.

"Put your hands out like this guys." P.O instructed us. I put my hands out in front of me, hovering over U-Kwon, with my palms facing the ground.

"It is done." he said after U-Kwon's body had a mini explosion from the inside. Well, that's what it looked like.

"Thanks doing business with you Shisus!" P.O grinned.

"No prob. See ya." And with that the ground rumbled once more.

"Ahhh!!!" Zico and Kyung shrieked. "Earthquake!!"

I rubbed my temples in annoyance. "There is no earthquake! It's just the Shisus dude leaving."

"Oh." The two stared at me. "...Ahhh!! Shisus dude leaving!!"

I facepalmed as I stood up from my seat. "Ah , my is numb from sitting for a long time."

"Mine too." Taeil said as he rubbed his .

"So where's Hanhae?" B-Bomb asked.

"What about Hanhae?" P.O asked.

"Weren't we bringing him back?" B-Bomb looked confused.

"We were doing that?" P.O asked. B-Bomb glared at him. "Just kidding! Yeah, we brought him back."

"Where is he then?" I asked.

"We need to cut up that shell." P.O pointed at U-Kwon's body.

"Shell?" Taeil looked confused, as did the rest of us.

"Yup." P.O nodded as he grabbed a knife from under his cloak. He then went over to the shell and sliced U-Kwon down the middle.

"Eww... Where did you even get the knife?" Taeil asked.

"I found it in the kitchen." P.O said before stepping away from the shell. We watched to see what would happen.

"Ahh!" Hanhae sat up from inside U-Kwon's shell and started coughing. "Air!!"

"H-Hanhae?" We all stared at the boy.

He looked over at us and grinned. "Hey guys!"

"What the is going on?" B-Bomb asked. "Where the hell did he come from?"

"From inside Kwonnie."

"No ." B-Bomb rolled his eyes. "What I'm asking is how did that happen?"

"Well," P.O started. "U-Kwon ended up eating the flesh so Hanhae was put back together inside of U-Kwon."

"Wait." Hanhae interrupted. "What you're saying is, I'm currently sitting inside of the person who made me explode and now I'm alive again?"

"Yup." We nodded.

"..." Hanhae stared at U-Kwon. "Holy . This is so cool!! Although really gross at the same time, but still hella cool!!"

"Sure... Go shower or something. You look gross with U-Kwon's green blood on you." I scrunched up my face in disgust.

"Okay..." Hanhae said as he got up and left the room.

"Damn, it's dark in here." B-Bomb said. "Someone go turn on the lights."

Taeil sighed and went to turn on the lights. "I'll do it—"

"AHHHH!!!!"

"That sounds like Hanhae." I said.

"It does." Zico nodded. We all didn't move from where we were standing or sitting.

"Shouldn't we go find out if he's okay?" Taeil asked.

"Why?"

"Well, we just sat there for a really long time trying to bring him back." Taeil said.

"I SAID... 'AHHHH!!!'" We heard Hanhae shout again.

"And since we spent that time bringing him back, it would be a waste if he got killed again." Taeil reasoned.

"True..." I nodded. "I'll go see what's up. Let's go Taeil."

The two of us walked out of the room and down the hallway. "Where's Hanhae?" I wondered.

"Over there." Taeil pointed ahead of us and we walked over to him. "What's wrong?"

"Look." Hanhae pointed into a closet he was standing in front of.

We looked in and saw U-Kwon tied up with duct tape on his mouth. "U-Kwon!" I reached for the duct tape on his mouth but he backed away from me. This scene seems familiar... I sighed and asked. "Did 'I' do this to you?" U-Kwon nodded as he glared at me. I sighed and ripped the tape off of his mouth.

"Oww!!!" He twitched in pain. "Why did you do that?!"

"It wasn't me." I sighed. "Explain to him Taeil."

"I think it's safe to assume that you've been in this closet for almost a week?" Taeil asked and U-Kwon nodded. "There was a person that impersonated Jaehyo about that long ago. He's the one that stripped you and duct taped your mouth."

"Oh..." U-Kwon said. "Okay."

"Wait, if this is the real U-Kwon, what the hell was that thing with the blue tail?" Hanhae asked.

"The Jaehyo that did this to me conjured him." U-Kwon explained. "It was so cool but so scary."

"Oh..." I nodded and turned to Hanhae, "Didn't you tell me that you've seen that U-Kwon thing with the tail before this week though?"

"I was kidding..." Hanhae scratched the back of his head. "I had no clue what you were talking about before. I thought we were playing a game so I went along with it. I didn't know that you were telling me stuff that was real."

I facepalmed and sighed. "I have nothing to say to you."

"Go shower Hanhae." Taeil said as he untied U-Kwon. "You too."

U-Kwon then scurried off to the bathroom with Hanhae. I sighed and turned to Taeil. "At least that problem is solved."

"How would you feel if I died like what happened with Hanhae?" He asked, suddenly getting serious.

"That's ridiculous. Why would that happen?" I shook my head at him.

He shrugged. "I was just asking." He then walked away.

"Well that was strange..." I furrowed my eyes as I watched Taeil walk away.

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Thank you!
NoLimitxInfinite
ok, so I hid ch. 19 & 20 (the play) since there was offensive material. I meant to do this sooner, but I haven't gone on AFF in forever. So I'll edit 'em later

Comments

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ExtremeACRepairman
#1
Chapter 53: This is really great
3VIP2BESTFRIEND
#2
I just wanted to say that I love this story to bits. I first found this story almost 4 years ago when I didnt have an account. I read the whole thing in 2 days and it was SOOOOOO funny! Ive almost never been on this site since 2012 and honestly, this is the only story I remember so well. This is some really good work and I'm glad you shared it with us.
CoolJirl
#3
When i first read this fic i didn't have enough points to upvote it. And now i do. Good thing i found it again. This is one of my favorite stories and what made me get into crack fics ^^
Kkomaenggi
#4
Chapter 48: fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccckkkkk !!!! someone should make an anime/cartoon of this story! like seriously I could totally see this happen in a cartoon omg it was hilarious though I loved it!! but that ending though xD that was something I kept thinking the entire story, I mean ghosts demons and ing rainbow monkeys?? xD LOL seriously awesome you deserve a prize
looshyhooshy #5
Chapter 48: I liked this story and being just a dream make sense for all that weird things that happen!!
A story for INFINITE .. I'm sooooo gonna read it <3
Fighting!! ..
looshyhooshy #6
Chapter 44: I knew he "Taeil" would try to commit suicide or something but I didn't think that you're really gonna kill him ..
I mean u killed hanhae once but u brought him back .. but this time is different!! :/
I'm really sad for him ..
it was weird already since he asked jaehyo that time when they braught hanhae " what would u do if I dided?! " ..!!
looshyhooshy #7
Chapter 16: This story is really funny and weird .. I liked it ;)
Wishing tp know why jaehyo tried to commit suicide ..
bit here at this chapter .. I so u wrote muhammed!!
Do u mean our prophet mohammed?! :/
CoolJirl
#8
Chapter 27: I love this story. Cracks me up everytime. But still don't get the mino reference :( sorry. Can someone tell me?
Amira5
#9
Chapter 12: "I was afraid his ugliness might have caused my face to be less beautiful. Oh ho, I am so silly. Why on earth would I be less beautiful? I am Ahn Jaehyo after all. Nothing will cause me to become hideous."
This line!!!!! XDDD
KawaiiMaria
#10
Chapter 48: This was the best and really funny, that was a shocking plot twist. I really like this story.