Have you ever been unable to breathe. Like you've just fallen a few feet onto your back, and now you're winded and your lungs feel like they have collapsed and you won't regain the ability to breathe again?

Well that's how I felt right now as I stared at the girl sat opposite me.

My emotions were suddenly caught up into a whirlwind, scattering the thoughts in my mind.

All I could feel was pain and shock and hurt and...love?

"You..." I finally forced out.

She smiled again. That smile that made my heart feel warm and special, but also made it break into tiny pieces.

"You're surprised right?" She said before giggling.

Leave, I wanted to say.

Leave me alone.

Go away!

But the words that I so desperetly thought couldn't form on my tongue. It was like I was having a mental block. Perhaps I didn't believe in them enough?

She suddenly leaned forwards to grasp my other hand in her remaining one. I could feel the world spin, my heart faltering and the blood roared in my ears and sweat broke out on the back of my neck. 

Instinctively I reeled away from her touch, snatching my other hand from her's.

I stood up abruptly. The world rushed and my knees felt wobbly but I refused to let it get the better of me.

Now was time to have a panic attack. Now was the time to leave. If I couldnt tell her to go away, then I would just go myself. I would force myself to move. To run away.

But I couldn't. I just stood there, my hands shaking, my chest heaving, and my gaze unable to leave her hypnotising eyes.

How much I had missed those eyes you wouldn't understand.

She stood up too, walking around the small table. She didn't even reach my chin in height. Her head barely graded my shoulder. She gazed up at me with those wide eyes.

"Oppa, are you okay?" She asked in a kind, subtle voice.

Don't, I wanted to say. Don't act like that, when that's not who you are. Don't confuse me.

Suddenly she wrapped her arms around my waist, her body cold but mysteriously comforting. "It's okay. I'm here" she whispered.

"It's okay" Victoria said, sitting down next to me and holding my hand. She began to draw little circles with her thumb.

"Im here. I'll always be here. You'll always have me, so dont worry" she reasurred me, smiling softly. Instantly I calmed at her smile. I loved her smile. I loved her.

I sighed before smiling myself. "I know" i said, lightly her cheek with my hand. She closed her eyes, her smile still there. Gently i leaned in and kissed her soft lips.

I loved her.

At the memories bubbles of rage began to form within me.

She was nothing but a liar. 

She just wanted to ruin me again.

She just wanted to get in the way of my new life. My new life in Korea.

My new life with Jessica.

With this new rage in me I pulled back from her embrace, my panic replaced with fury.

She looked up at me in surprise. "Oppa..." She began to say, but I walked past her, mercilessly pushing her aside so I could leave.

I needed to escape.

"Sehun-ah, wait!" She called after me, her voice suddenly harsher and louder, no longer soft and innocent.

That's the Victoria I really knew. The true Victoria.

"Will you talk to me?" She said, jogging to catch up with me.

She reached to grab my hand, but I harshly snatched it away.

"Will you not say anything!" She exclaimed, her small face alight with irritation.

"Go away Victoria" I said. 

Finally, I had brought myself to speak my thoughts. And I said it with sincerity.

"Not until you speak to me" she said stubbornly.

I laughed humourlessly. "And why would I want to do that?"

We had reached my apartment complex now. 

I futilly hoped she would abandon me in the lobby, but I knew that she wouldn't. She followed me straight into the lift. When the doors closed I turned and finally met her gaze. The glint of innocence was still there, but I knew it was just an illusion. There was nothing innocent, sweet, or kind to her. She was simply a manipulative fox.

"Sehun-ah" she said in a forced calm tone. "Please, just talk to me. That's all I want."

"Why are you here?" I suddenly asked.

She seemed momentarily surprised before she collected her expression into her usual cool expression. "I was in the neighbpourhood. I never expected to see you there. I was just as surprised..."

"Cut the crap Victoria" I interrupted her. "I can tell when you lie" I said.

She bit her lip in frustration as she often did when I caught her out, which used to be often.

"Fine, I looked for you. But doesn't that show how much I missed you? That i care to find you, just so i can see you?" she said the last bit in a pleading voice, as if that made everything better.

I scoffed.

"So what? Do you want an award? Id rather you left me alone" I snapped.

The lift stopped.

I gladly got off. Unfortunately Victoria followed hot at my heels.

"Don't follow me into my apartmenmt" I commanded, but she continued to walk.

I could feel the monster in me begin to have enough. I didn't have the strength to put up with her anymore. I didn't want to. I just wanted Leave me alone.

"Yah!" I finally burst, rounding on her. 

She finally stopped walking, bumping into my chest before gazing up at me with her stubborn eyes.

"I want to talk" she said quietly, her voice firm and demanding.

But I didn't bend to her demands anymore.

"Too bad" I spat bitterly.

Suddenly a slow smile suddenly crawled across her face. She placed her hand gently on my chest, tracing circles like she used to all that time ago.

"But oppa... please" she pleaded.

She was using that soft tone again. She was trying to confuse me with her innocence. To sway me with her kindness.

It was a shame none of it was real.

I knew that now.

Gritting my teeth, I gripped onto both of her shoulders, pushing her so that her back was up against the wall. I placed my hand on the wall and leaned in closely. I could feel her breath tickle my skin, her floral smell filling my head

"I have nothing tonsay to you" I said slowly, hoping that each of my words would hurt her like she had hurt me.

But her gaze burned into mine, and I could feel my breathing falter again. She always had that sparkle in her eyes. The look that I had fallen for. The one that took my breath away and rendered me unable to think.

She smiled. It looked so sincere and honest. I could feel my head get fuzzy, suddenly full of her and her smell and her smile that I missed so much.

No, I thought. I couldn't lose my focus. I had to leave, now. 

But it was too late. Already I was captured by her eyes, their shine hypnotizing like that of a snake.

Her smile widened and she my cheek with her hand. Her skin was soft and smooth. "See, you've missed me. I knew you would have" she whispered.

My breath came out unsteady. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to pull away, but I couldn't.

"I love you oppa"

 I missed that Victoria. The one I had thought I'd known. Not the one in front of me now.

So why couldn't I bring myself to pull away?

Jess' POV

"I can walk you up you know" Kai said as I got out of the car.

It was cold in the car park. I had much preferred the warm interior of Kai's car, that smelled like Kai. Warm Korean bread. It was sweet and made my mouth water.

I shook my head before I suddenly started to think of Kai as food.

"Yah, its fine. I can manage to walk myself to my apartment you know. I'm completely capable" I said.

Kai rolled his eyes before pouting. "You know, you could just get back in the car. We could go somewhere" he offered, wiggling his eyebrows in temptation.

I giggled. "Like where?"

He leaned through the window, his eyes suddenly wide and glittering even in the poor lighting.

"Anywhere. Wherever we can be together" he said in a soft, mystical voice. It made my stomach flip for some reason, and I could feel myself begin to blush.

I laughed in my sudden nervous state, shaking my head.

"Tempting, but I think I should go home. I need a shower anyway" I said.

"You could shower at my place" he offered. His eyes glinted mischievously and he wiggled his eyebrows.

"Yah, you ert!" I yelled, laughing.

When he left, his absence instantly left a heavy weight on my chest.

Was I already missing him?

On my way up to the apartment I couldn't help but think about my feelings for Kai.

Could he just be my friend?

Did I want him to just be my friend?

I wasn't really sure.

I enjoyed his company. He made me feel happy. And I liked him. Just how much I wasn't sure.

And then there was Sehun whom I had to factor into the equation, though I didn't even know how I felt about him. My own fiancé, and I still wasn't sure how I felt about him.

How bad does that sound?

Did I like Sehun?

Of course not!

But still..the butterfly's I got in my stomach when I was with him told me differently.

But more importantly, did he like me?

Was Kyle correct in that Sehun was pushing me away for a reason, not just because he could? 

Did Sehun really want us to fall in love?

All these questions were killing me.

I just wanted a normal relationship, with someone I liked. Was that too much to ask for?

Why couldn't things just be normal?

I sighed, massaging my temples which were beginning to throb. I should I will simply love myself! That seemed much easier.

The lift binged open and I got off, fumbling in my deep coat pockets for my key card when I stopped dead in my tracks.

For a second I thought I was seeing wrongly, but it was definitely him.

And that was definitely another girl.

And there was definitely less than an inch between their faces.

Suddenly unable to breathe correctly, I retreated, dissapearing around the corner before I was noticed.

I pushed the button of the lift with shaking fingers.

About before, did I like Sehun? 

Well given my reaction, yes. Yes I did.

To some degree, I must like him, or care about him at least, because if I didn't then my heart wouldn't feel like it was being torn apart right now.

But more importantly did he like me?

Clearly not.

God Moon Jiyoon, you're so stupid.

I stumbled into the lift, my breathing now in quick pants as i fanned my face, trying and failing to holding back my tears.

I hated crying. The fact that i was crying over Oh Sehun i hated even more.

Oh Sehun, I hate you.

A/N-Oooooh lots of drama. What will happen next? Well just encase youve forgotten, the upoming event is the charity event Jess and Sehun will attend. Remeber, from aaagggeeesssago when Sehun took Jess to the mall and chose her dress for the event? I wonder what drama will happen then? Please anticipate! Ill update as soon as i can. Dont forget to suscibe and please comment my lovely readers! Gamsahamnida~AlviinK