Chapter 27
The Arranged Marriage.Jessica's POV:
I tried to keep my breath even as I raised my hand. With the damp cloth I Sehun's cheeks, light grazing over his cuts and wiping away the blood on his face. I tried to keep my hand steady, resisting the urge to look at Sehun's face which was barely inches away. I knew that if I did I would undoubtedly get captured by his gleaming eyes. I could feel Sehun's gaze burning holes into my face. Then suddenly Sehun's face was no longer a few inches away but right there, in front of me as he suddenly leaned in and lightly kissed me. His lips were soft and warm, and his citrusy scent filled my head with fog as my body froze from shock. My eyes widened and I stiffened but for some reason I was unable to pull away.
My body literally felt numb and my thoughts jammed. I didn't even know where to look, and so I just stayed there, my hand in a tight fist curled around the cloth. When Sehun pulled away I stared at him in shock mixed with disbelief. My fist shook and normally I would have swung it straight into his jaw, yet for some reason I still couldn't move. It was as if my body had been paralysed, the numbness wearing away to tingles in my fingers and down my legs. I now realised I had been holding my breath and so I took in a big gulp of air. A dull throb appeared at the back of my head and I had to look away, unable to look at Sehun's face. I was still wondering whether it had been real or if my imagination was driving me crazy.
Suddenly I was unable to stay here. The air alone was almost enough to suffocate me and the throb I my head was becoming painful. Quickly I got to my feet, dropping the stained cloth onto the floor and turning to run away. To run away to the furthest parts of the earth away from Sehun. Just as I took a step to leave Sehun's warm hand wrapped itself firmly around my wrist and yanked me back. I stumbled into his chest and gasped when he suddenly turned me around and pulled me into a warm embrace. He buried his face into my hair, which made me stiffen even more and try to pull away. But already I knew Sehun was too strong and I quickly gave up.
"Please" Sehun suddenly pleaded in a soft, quiet voice. He sounded like a scared young child. "Don't leave me" he murmured. A lump grew in my throat and my heartbeat felt painful against my chest. "Don't leave me again" he said. I stared over his shoulder, trying to sort out my fried brain and think of something to do or say. What was Sehun talking about? He must have really lost his mind, because for some reason I got the feeling that I wasn't who he thought I was.
"Sehun" I managed to choke out, my voice barely audible. My knees were beginning to wobble and I feared I would fall if I stayed close to him any longer. I felt Sehun stiffen and taking advantage of his sudden distraction I pushed him away with as much force a I could muster. He stumbled back only a couple of steps. The dim light from outside lit up his expression with a faint glow. He looked almost a shocked as I felt. I had to take a few deep breaths, unable to look at Sehun without feeling dizzy.
It felt as if the air was trying to suffocate me and I turned to search for the door, my ability to think disappearing more and more each second. I turned and practically ran for the door. This time Sehun didn't stop me. With shaking fingers I punched the button for the lobby and waited impatiently for the lift to arrive. I still wore my house slippers which earned me a few disapproving stares.
At the lobby I ran outside into the cold winter night. I didn't go far, just a bit further than the entrance for the building. Cars purred by on the distant road, there rumbles muffled by the trickle of water from the fountain at the entrance. Frost crackled under my feet and my breath came out in thick, white clouds. Already my fingers and toes felt numb and I hugged myself for warmth as shivers shook through my spine and rattled my bones. The light breeze blew strands of hair into my eyes as I reached for my phone.
There was one person I wanted to talk to, and only that one person. My thumb hovered above his contact, barely a millimetre from the screen. I wanted to speak to him, but I can't. Kai didn't want to hear about Sehun, and though he would be the only one who could comfort me I knew it was selfish to make him uncomfortable just so I could feel better. After a longing stare at his contact number I sighed and pocketed my phone. I took a few deep breaths of cold, crisp winter air, trying to calm my knotting stomach before I turned and walked back inside.
Sehun's POV:
The door slammed loudly after she left. The echo flew straight through my body as if I were hollow. Because that's how I felt. I felt hollow, and I wasn't sure why. I didn't love Jessica, but just like the person before her she had left. Suddenly I slapped my forehead. No Sehun, she's not like her, I scolded myself. They're not the same person. So why did I keep thinking they were? This concussion was truly driving me crazy. I'm sure that when I get better everything will be normal again. I hoped.
But you kissed her, so it won't be the same, an annoying little voice in the back of my head said. I growled under my breath and made my way to the bedroom. It wasn't even a proper kiss, so it doesn't count, right? I sighed heavily and looked around the bedroom. There were a lot of smash able objects in the room, but since my hand hurt enough I grabbed the nearest cushion and threw it across the room. It hit the window with a thud and slid to the floor. "Agh!" I exclaimed in frustration, running my hands through my hair and kicking the end of the bed. Then I exclaimed again but this time in pain.
Nice going Sehun. Nursing my throbbing toe I hopped over to the window and picked up the pillow, dusting it off with a bit too much force. I stared outside for a while, watching the cars go by. Then I spotted a small figure not too far out. Instantly I knew it was Jess. She was visibly cold and my heart twisted guiltily. She was awkward and cold because of me. It wasn't fair on her. I sighed as I watched her tiny figure. I didn't love Jessica. I'm sure of it, right? Maybe something was there, but it was only interest and fascination.
Not love. I think. But I knew that for some reason, deep down I wanted to marry her, to be with her. And maybe it was because she was so similar to the person I loved last. But that wasn't fair on Jessica. Because I didn't love her, but I didn't want to lose her. I couldn't lose her. There was just something about her that made me want her stay.
sorry I don't update frequently. But I still am really, really grateful for all of your support, and hopefully I will be able to get this story finished soon
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