YOUR POV

What was that all about? What is his intention for doing that? Ugh!!!!! I’m still occupied by what happened three days ago. Why did he do it? Was he really just thankful? But what he did was too much. I just gave him a cheap handmade bracelet and now, he was saying it was his lucky charm. NO. He exactly said that it was I who’s his lucky charm. He said I was his lucky charm! Damn, I don’t know what to think from it. And this isn’t a joke. He’s confusing me, big time! And the worst, he could have just hug me normally! A normal hug for a normal fan. Or let’s say, for a friend. But a back hug??? Seriously??? But wh…

“Yah, are you with me? You’re spacing out.” Hana unnie interrupted my thought, thankfully.

“Uh? No! I was just thinking about what to put on our thesis. You know, it’s getting difficult. I’m in the middle of the fourth chapter.” I lied. We’re almost done eating our lunch in the university cafeteria. She was saying something a while ago but it looks like my ears cannot comprehend anything. Am I that distracted?

“I was asking about how do you know when someone likes you. You’ve mentioned you had a boyfriend before. And I never had one. I was wondering if you know something. You know? There’s just really something bothering me lately.” She said. What now? I was just thinking about some guy and now she’s asking something like this. Bothered? She’s bothered too? About what?

“Ah, about that. What’s bothering you by the way?” I asked trying to shift away from what she had just asked. I don’t know either how to answer.

“I wasn’t sure yet so I’d rather not to talk about it. Just answer me, please?” she pleaded. Okay, I’ll try to think. She won’t stop either if I didn’t say anything.

“Okay, fine. First, when you felt he’s treating you different from the way he was treating you before.” I said and I was hit by what I’ve said. Doojoon was cold to me before. He even hates the fact that we’re teamed up for a thesis. But now… totally opposite. He even insist on helping me. Never mind, our case was different.

“Hey, you’re off somewhere again! What’s next???” then Hana unnie interrupted again. I was distracted again.

“Sorry. Next, you felt he cares a lot about you.” I added and damn, I was hit again. He took care of me when I got sick in their dorm. He never got to sleep that night. And on our meeting that night when we went to Banpo bridge, he gave me his scarf so I wouldn’t get cold. Talking about that scarf, I haven’t returned it to him yet. And I was carrying it all this time so if I would have a chance, I would return it to him.

“Next?” Hana unnie said, waiting for the next word I would say. But why is it all related to my case? Based on my experience, those were the indications when someone likes you? So… Doojoon? No!!! It’s still depends. Our case was different. I’m sure this one would not hit me again.

“Uhmm… next. When someone makes you feel special, whether by words or by actions. You would feel it eventually.” I added. , something came into my mind immediately. Though I hate the idea, but the things he’s doing lately, it exactly matches. Above all he’s been acting lately, makes me feel special. First he took care of me when I got sick. Any girl would feel special when someone did that! When he gave me that limited edition cd! It’s special since it was signed by all of them and other members didn’t mentioned anything about that. Bringing me to somewhere with a romantic feeling to it. Yup, that Banpo tour we had. He suggested that we go there. And that night looks like a date to me though that night was an embarrassing one. And more importantly, those things he said and did to me that day they won. His lucky charm? Okay, let’s break down what each word means. First ‘lucky’ – good luck. When something brings a good luck, it means its important. When something’s important, it’s now special to you. SPECIAL. ‘Charm’ – it’s something attracts luck. And when that something attracts luck, of course, it would be special. SPECIAL. No matter how long to break down the definition, it would all just end up at the word ‘special’. But how to explain that back hug? I’m confused. My thoughts are in total mess right now. I just sighed in defeat and ducked my head on the table.

“Hey, are you okay? What are you thinking about?” Hana unnie worriedly asked. Thanks to her, I’m back to reality. I raised my head and faced her to answer her.

“Nothing. Are you satisfied with my answers? Does it answer your questions?” I asked so she would think that I’m fine.

“Yeah, a bit. But not totally.” She said and sighed and ducked her head on the table too. She’s confused too. But who’s making her confused? Someone’s showing her some intentions too?

“People are different. Some guy would match on what I’ve said, some wouldn’t. The only solution to that is… wait for him to confess something about it.” I said and patted her shoulder. Yeah, right. I shouldn’t be thinking that he likes me. Maybe I was just assuming. Maybe I just misunderstood everything. People are different so it would different for every case. And ours, it’s too complicated to figure something on it now. We’re totally different. He might likes someone. Yeah, ‘might’. I wasn’t sure about it anymore, him and Gayoon unnie. I didn’t saw anything from him and her. He never mention anything about her too. But what about the thing I saw? That they kissed? Did I just misunderstood? Did I just saw it at some wrong angle? One thing’s for sure. She still loves him. I’ve heard it clearly. I don’t know. I’m totally lost right now. But the hug he gave me still bothers me!

“Unnie!” I called out, nudging her to face me.

“Why?” she asked. She looks so frustrated and confused right now. She’s totally bothered.

“What do you think about back hugs? Escpecially here in Korea, what do back hugs mean here?” I blurted out, finally got the courage to ask her. Maybe she would help me clear up my mind.

“Why did you asked suddenly?” she asked back. No more interrogations, please?

“Nothing. I’ve just watched some Korean dramas with a lot of back hugs. I was just wondering what that meant here.” I lied. Good thing, I’m still good at excuses.

“Ah, yeah right. Well, that didn’t really meant anything much.” she said and I sighed. Questions answered.

“But for me, that back hugs were the most special ones.” She added and I leaned, waiting for more explanations from her. “Though I never been into relationship yet but for me, I really dream of being hugged like that.”

“Why? It was just a normal hug.” I said to her, trying to convince her by that fact. Or it was myself who I try to convince?

“Well for me, not. If you analyze it, either the guy or the girl hugs the other. Only one of them embraces. Perfect picture for an unconditional love. You hug someone without minding to be hugged too. Unconditional love, you love someone without asking anything in return. So special right?” she said with much optimism on her face and sparkling eyes. No, my head hurts more.

“Arghhhhh!!!!” I screamed then ducked my head on the table again. I was expecting a preferable answer that would clear up my mind but this one! I know this one is a clear answer but my thoughts and concerns are fighting in my mind. My mind is in total chaos.

“Hey, are you okay?” she asked but I remained my head ducked. I should escape this. I’m pretty sure everyone here in the cafeteria’s looking at me.

“Let’s go. Our lunch break’s almost done!” I said as I stood up and dragged Hana unnie out of the cafeteria.

“Yah, what’s wrong with you?” she kept asking on our way to our class. I can’t tell you, unnie. I’m sorry. I’m pretty sure you’ll freak out if I say it.

“Never mind what I’ve asked and what I’ve been acting. I’m fine. Let’s go.” I said, gaining my composure and we walked normally to our class. Hana unnie just stared at me weirdly, obviously confused with what I’ve just acted a while ago. As soon as we’re settled on our seats in class, Hana unnie tried to open up again a topic.

“Hey, have you watched? BEAST won at MuBank and Inkigayo too. Three trophies in a row!!!” Hana unnie said but I already know it. Of course, I watched it but on tv only. Hyunseung oppa asked if I could come but I declined. I’m still confused and I don’t want to be more confused since I’m going to see Doojoon again.

“Of course, I did.” I answered plainly and we got silent again. I guess Hana unnie got the cue and preferred to be silent. Maybe she felt something’s bothering me too.

As soon as our class ended, I decided I should take my mind off from this. And there’s this place I had in my mind that I knew would help me. It’s been ages too since I’ve visited that place. The park I shared with Hyunseung oppa.

“Unnie, go ahead. I still have to go somewhere.” I said, decided to be alone for now.

“Okay. But are you sure you’re fine? Just tell if you have a problem, I will listen.” She asked worriedly.

“I’m fine. I know something’s bothering you too. Just tell me, I will listen too.” I fought back and we laughed.

“Okay, okay. I’ll go. Take care.”

“You too.” I said and hugged her. She waved as she was walking on her way. Then when she’s nowhere in sight, I went to the park. It was just 4 in the afternoon.

As soon as I reached it, I smiled as soon as the peace welcomed me. Still the same, minus Hyunseung oppa. They’ve been busy. Both of them weren’t able to go to class lately. I hope they could catch up. I sat on the farthest bench since there’s no sleepyhead guy sleeping on it. After taking my time here, I would go home immediately. I still have to do the thesis. But soon as I sat down, my phone rang. I looked at my phone to see who is it. Just as I’m about take my mind off him, here he is, calling me. What is it now again?

“Hello?” I answered as soon as I get the call.

“Hey, are your classes finished?” he greeted. No hellos. No signs of uneasiness. He already forgot about what he did?

“Yeah. Why?”

“Have you forgot? It’s October 16 today.” He plainly said. What with October 16?

“Yeah, it is.” I said, still clueless but… “Gosh, I forgot! It’s your 5th anniversary! I’m sorry.” Suddenly my confusion were forgotten and only think about what is it today. I totally forgot. The days before, I’m counting down for this day. I’m totally occupied these days.

“It’s okay. But could you come here at Cube Cafe? We’re having a little celebration.” He said. I should go. I have to.

“Okay. I’ll be there. Bye.” I said and hunged up. Though meeting him today and whatever he’s planning to do again today, I want to celebrate with them. It’s been five years. I know how important this day to them and I want to be part of it. They’ve reached the curse of 5-year mark. The one they said that an idol group must pass. It seems like only few idol groups reach their fifh year. It seems everything undergoes to the worst and biggest challenges in their career during that time. Just like what happened to Big Bang who successfully surpass their fifth year challenges. There goes Daesung’s car accident and GDragon’s scandal. Though I’m not much of a fan, but I could say that’s really too much for them to take. But I’m happy to see they’re fine now, greater than ever. I hope BEAST wouldn’t have to undergo the same fate. I hope this fifth year would be a safe and calm one. I don’t know what to do if something unfortunate would happen to them.

On my way, I decided to buy a cake for them. At least, I wouldn’t come empty-handed. I just picked whatever my eyes wants to and told the ahjumma to put some dedication. And I’ve said with some sign languages since we can’t understand each other. As soon as I reached Cube, I was surprised with what greeted me. Numerous fan girls and boys are outside the building. There were white and gray balloon they’re holding. Some fans are doing some fanchants. Some were dancing to BEAST’s songs. I smiled as soon as I saw that scene. Dedicated fans just like me. And I know they could see this and are now very happy to see this. But then I realized, I’m in total right now. How am I suppose to get inside now? I think I should call him. Yes, him – Doojoon.

“Hello? Doojoon?” I greeted as soon as I heard I got connected.

“Oh, Maya! Are you on your way now?” he asked.

“Actually, I’m already in front of the building. And I called because I was wondering, how am I suppose to get in with these fan girls outside your building? I want to get inside alive.” I said, exaggerating and he laughed on his line. His lovely laugh. Damn it, I’m getting carried away again.

“Okay, okay. Of course, we want you here alive. And besides, b2uties are harmless. You should knew that well, you’re one of them. Wait, I’ll send someone to get you out of there.” he said, still laughing as he said it. I just smiled and satisfied by the fact that he was laughing while talking to me.

“Sure, thanks. I’ll wait at the coffee shop in front of the building.” I said and as I was about to end the call, he stopped me.

“Wait. Another thing. Please, hide your identity. Cover yourself up. I don’t want to ruin your private life. They might get suspicious, you know.” He added. And there he is, showing his concern to me again.

“I get it. Thank you again.” then I hung up immediately. He might say something again if I didn’t. First, I went somewhere where no one could see me. I remember that I bring Doojoon’s scarf so I could return it to him. I guess it wouldn’t be a bad idea if I use it again. I wrapped it around my neck, covering the lower part of my face. I fixed the black beret I’m wearing in my head, the same with my full bangs. These bangs were so useful especially when I want to hide my face. I guess I’m good. As soon as I got inside the shop, I bought a coffee. It’s getting colder and colder with this autumn wind. I sat somewhere secluded since the coffee shop is also filled with fans. I waited for a while and sipping on my coffee from time to time while saiting for that someone Doojoon said who would get me. Then sipping again from my coffee, a woman came to me.

“You’re Maya? I’m Hyojin.” she asked smiling then I looked up. I guess it’s her. I smiled back.

“Yup. Ah, Hyojin? He sent you?” I whispered then she nodded. I stood up and followed her out of the coffee shop. On our way, I could hear some chattering from the fans were passing.

“She’s one of the stylists noona?” I heard a fan said. Oh, right. I saw her everytime at the dressing room when we came to watch them. The gossiping got louder as soon as we’re almost in front of the building.

“Gaja! I still have a lot to teach you in styling.” Then suddenly, Hyojin said in Korean and I kinda understand that then linked arms with me. She smiled at me, waiting for me to get what she meant by that. Oh, an act! I have to go with it.

“Okay!” I answered enthusiastically. The chitchats ended and we got inside the building. Success!

“Hyojin-ssi. Thank you so much for helping me out there.” I said to her as soon as we got inside, walking towards the elevator. Then my eye caught something at the lobby. It was all filled with balloons, teddy bears and bunch of gifts. “Woah! Fan gifts?” I asked, amused by so much gifts are there and she just nodded.

“It’s okay. But may I know who you really are? To Doojoon?” she asked while we’re getting inside the elevator and she pressed on the 3 to the third floor.

“Me? I was just his classmate who he got paired up for a thesis. And eventually, I become friends with the others.” I explained. That’s the truth.

“Oh really? That’s it?” she asked, looking confused. “But you know, it’s the first time he asked some favor like this. To bring an outsider. And honestly, I didn’t want to do it at first but he really insist and pleaded. Since he’s really nice, I did it anyways. And you seems nice too so I have no regrets following him.” She added and I smiled at her, thanking her for what she said. But this was the first time? I hate this feeling but I’m feeling I’m some kind of special. I already know this idea of going here would confuse me more. I should have just listen to my instincts.

“Ah, that? We’re just friends. And just like you said, he’s really nice. Being nice of him, he invited me.” I said, convincing her but no, more like convincing myself. He’s just being nice, right? And for hugging me and saying those words, he’s just being nice. That’s what I want to believe for now. She just nodded and didn’t asked anymore. Suddenly, we heard the ‘ting’ sound indicating we’re on the third floor now.

“They’re at the practice room right now. I guess they’re having their break.” She said and I nodded.

“Thank you so much, really!” I said and I bowed at her and she smiled. She went the other way while I proceeded to their practice room. I peeked inside since the doors open, and Hyojin is right. But then I noticed the foods on the table. I guess that’s for the celebration. I knocked on the door then everyone looked.

“Am I just in time?” I asked smiling.

“Maya!!!!” They shouted and came to me. I walked inside to meet them.

“Happy anniversary, BEAST!!!!!!” I greeted while waving the box of cake I was holding.

“Woah, what’s this?” Kikwang asked.

“A cake!” Yoseob shouted.

“Additional cake!” Dongwoon shouted then I noticed the dozens of cake on the other side of the room. Woah, I guess it’s a wrong idea to bring a cake. They already have a lot! Bigger and looks more expensive. That made me feel a bit down.

“I guess this will be the perfect cake for the celebration. What do you think?” then out of nowhere, Doojoon blurted out and everyone just nodded profusely. I knew it. He really plans on confusing me! Perfect cake?

“What do you mean? That one looks tastier.” I said as I pointed out the most appealing cake on that room. Why my cake?

“Yeah, maybe. But this one’s special.” Doojoon said with a serious tone. Here comes that word ‘special’ again. I looked at him trying to figure out what that special really meant and he just smiled at me warmly. Yoon Doojoon, you really enjoyed confusing me? Is everything on purpose???

“Hyung’s right. Let’s put candles on this one and we’ll blow it. Then eat it! Thank you for this, dongsaeng!” Hyunseung oppa said happily while putting an arm on my shoulder. What could I do? Doojoon can easily dominate the mind of these people. But talking about Hyunseung oppa, it looks like he’s really back to his self. He’s being the sweet oppa again.

“But how are we going to eat everything? I know we’re all glutton here but we also have limitations. We couldn’t finish up everything.” Yoseob said and others nodded. He’s right. What should they do with these foods? By what it looks, it could feed a small town!

“How about sharing it with the fans outside? It’s been five years and you’re still on the right track of your career. I guess it’s payback time!” I suggested. I know everyone outside would be very happy.

“Good idea! Since we don’t have schedule today, let’s go outside and share the food we have here. I know it’s cold outside but they’ve been there since morning so it would just be fair. What do you think?” Doojoon agreed to what I’ve said. I really hate you! It’s not that I really mean it, of course. Though no matter how try to fight off these feelings, it’s still there. It will always be. And especially these days, when he’s here trying to tease me with what I thought of the situation and what he is showing to me.

“Let’s repack those sliced cakes and gave it to them personally!” Yoseob oppa said with much excitement.

“Okay, let’s do it! Yoseob and Dongwoon…” Doojoon said and paused “no, you can’t be teamed up. You’ll just end up eating the cake.” He added and the room filled with laughs. What is he planning? “Yoseob, Junhyung and Hyunseung, you teamed up slicing those cakes on that side. Kikwang and Dongwoon, you slice those cakes on the other side.” Doojoon commanded. I was waiting for what should I do but he didn’t said anything. What would I do now?

“How about you, hyung? And Maya?” Kikwang asked. Yeah, right. What about us?

“WE’ll first go to the manager hyungs to ask permission. Then when WE come back, WE’ll repack those sliced cakes.” He said as if everything is just normal. As if his idea was just a normal. I don’t know what's wrong with my ears but it just kept emphasizing ‘WE’ everytime he said it. What now, Yoon Doojoon? Me and You? We? Though it sounds so good, but it just keep messing up my mind more.

“With me?” I asked, trying to sound it would just be useless if I come with him to their managers.

“Yeah. Because it’s your idea!” He insisted. Fine whatever, I will still lose if I argue with him. Others eyed us weirdly. I guess they’re also getting confused with what this Yoon Doojoon has been acting lately.

“Start slicing!” he ordered to them and they start getting their knives. “Let’s go?” he said to me and I just nodded. I followed him outside the practice room.

“They’re at the fifth floor right now.” he said to me as he was walking to the elevator. FIFTH FLOOR??? I still have to endure that awkward ride on that elevator, AGAIN??? What could I do? He’s inside the elevator and waiting for me to come inside. Stop torturing me. As soon as we got inside, he pressed the 5 button for fifth floor. Why the hell this elevator so slow??? As I was just looking at the screen, waiting for the elevator to indicate were at the fifth floor, suddenly he went in front me. It really startled me and immediately stepped back. Damn, why is this elevator so small??? My back hit the wall and he kept coming closer. What is he going to do? Is he going to…? No, stop. I kept staring at him, almost shaking. Is he really plan on doing that here??? He’s face getting closer and closer and I’m feaking out inside me. Too much panicking make me stoned to my place. Then suddenly, just as I thought he was going to do something, he fixed my beret and my bangs to the side. HUH?

“Don’t put it that way. I can’t see your eyes.” He plainly said and smiled. Then another movement made me again flinch again as he raise his hand. Raised his hand to fix the scarf around me, lowering it from my face and made sure it was properly covering me. “This is my scarf right?” he asked and he finally stepped back. He smiled to himself as soon as he felt satisfied with what he did. And I know not only for fixing my hair and my scarf but he was satisfied for succeeding on making me nervous and making me blush. I could feel I am. My cheeks felt so hot. My heart flutters after what he did but was it wrong to be?

“Ah, I’m about to return this to you just now. I jus…” I explained but stopped as he stopped my hands from taking off the scarf. He is now actually holding my hand! You could just stop me without holding my hand!!!!

“No, keep it. It looks good on you.” he said and smiled again. That smile that could melt my heart. What is he exactly doing now? What is he thinking right now??? Then finally, the elevator made a ‘ting’ sound again that I’ll be always thankful for saving me from awkwardness. He went out first and I just followed him to their managers’ office. But soon as he was about to go inside, he stopped. He looked shocked. What did he saw?

When I peeked inside, I got shocked too. President Hong Seungsong is inside! What should I do? Should I really be here?

“Hey, I think I should go now.” I said and about to return to the practice room but he stopped me.

“No, it’s fine. He’s nice, don’t worry.” He reassured and I just sighed. I hope so. Then he went inside first and they talked in Korean and I can’t understand any of it. He went back and called me. As soon as I got inside and got to meet eye-to-eye the big man behind Cube Entertainment, I bowed down to him.

“Annyeonghaseyo! I’m Maya Lim It’s a pleasure to meet you.” I said, quite shaking.

“So it’s you who helps Doojoon in school? It’s nice to meet you, finally.” Then just like that, my nervousness gone as he said that and offered a handshake. I took and shook it firmly while smiling.

“Actually, we’re helping each other.” I clarified.

“Oh, well. Thank you.” he said and said. I just bowed a bit.

“What is it you want to say?” Manager Joonkun asked. I looked up to Doojoon and he just signaled me to just say it.

“Uhm… I just came since they called me. And we all know it’s their anniversary today and the members are troubled with what to do with those foods. I know it would be too much if only the members and the staffs would eat it. The food might be just put into waste. So I suggested since it’s their fifth year and there’s still lots of fans supporting them. I saw a lot of them outside. I guess it’s a good idea if BEAST share the food with the fans outside. Just like a mini fanmeeting for today’s celebration. That was just a suggestion.” I explained and finally able to breathe normal again. The managers looked at each other and President Hong smiled.

“That’s a good idea! Sure. Work on it, Doojoon. Managers, announce it and coordinate the mini fanmeeting outside.” President Hong immediately ordered and I looked at Doojoon who is now smiling widely. “You guys, should help too!” he said to Doojoon.

“We’re already working on it, Sajangnim! The other guys are working on the cake already.” Doojoon reported and he just nodded. And just like that, the office turned into chaos. I felt the surge of responsibilities now because of my proposal.

“Okay then. Go ahead, do your work.” President Hong said then went back to the practice room. Elevator again. I have to do something about this awkwardness here. As soon as we got in, I initiated a topic far from what’s bothering me.

“What if we conduct a raffle for them?” I suggested then he looked at me.

“Right. But what are we going to give to them?” he asked.

“Anything you want to give. Fans enjoy memorabilias from their idols. Like that necklace you’re wearing or…” then my eyes catch a glimpse of the bracelet I gave him. He’s still wearing it. As soon as he realized where I was looking, he hid his arm behind him. “O-or… anything! It doesn’t have to be expensive. It would be priceless if they saw you’re wearing it. Or we could ask them what they prefer. A hug or a gift. What do you think? It’s just a good way to bond with the fans. They should ask for one member only.” I added.

“We should do that. Help us, okay?” he said and I just nodded. Then finally we reached the third floor and went to the practice room immediately.

“Okay, guys. Managers and President Hong agreed to idea. Let’s do it.” Doojoon announced and everyone smile. “And our friend here suggested something.” he added and everyone looked at me.

“What if we have some raffle for your fans? Whoever won would get to choose whether a hug or a thing you own. It doesn’t need to be expensive. Necklace, ring, tumbler, shirt, anything whatever you want. One member per fan. What do you think?” I explained and looked at each other, nodding.

“Sure, let’s do that! And you two, start doing your work. We’ve already sliced a lot of cake here.” Junhyung agreed and we just nodded.

“Bring to us the cakes you’ve sliced. Let’s sit at the middle.” Doojoon said and I nodded. It’s me and him again. I should do something so he couldn’t insert his confusing actions during the time being.

“Let’s put stickers on the plastic wrappers randomly so that would serve as a proof of winner. Whoever gets the cake with sticker would get the prize. Let’s only have 10 stickers?” I suggested and he just nodded while smiling. I looked at him and he was staring at me. I thought I could do something about that. We sat there in silence while wrapping the cakes we decided to have 5 stickers each to put on the wrappings. I tried to stop myself from look at him since I know what would happen. But there’s some force that want me to look and I failed holding back myself. Everytime I tried to just glance at him, he was staring. I looked away, trying to ignore him. But when I felt he is busy with what he’s doing, I try to have a glimpse of him. My heart quivered as I watch him getting busy. He’s so handsome in anything he do and I can’t help but smile as I enjoy that scene. As I was lost looking at him, he looked up to me and I panicked again. I looked away then went back to wrapping. I heard him chuckle. He succeeded again on teasing me. As soon as we’re done wrapping, finally, we smiled at our works. Everyone’s smiling, feeling contented.

“Hey, let’s do ‘hwaiting!’” I suggested then they agreed. We put our hand together. My hand was above their hands but then someone put a hand above mine. I looked whoever it was. And yes, it is him again. It’s Doojoon.

“Okay, I’ll lead.” He said and secretly smiled at me. Then I felt him gripped my hand and softly rubbed his thumb on it. I don’t know if he intended to do it or not. I tried to ignore it but didn’t I say I felt weak when a guy held my hand? Seems familiar? Yeah, this thing already happened before. The day of their comeback. I should just ignore it but there something inside me that I just can’t. “Let’s make this mini fanmeeting a happy and successful one, okay? Hwaiting!!!” then we tossed our hands in the air. I thought that was the end. As someone went on their ways, my hand wasn’t released yet. As if it was just normal, he held if for a while before saying something again. “Thank you for making this celebration a special one.” He said and smiled then finally let go of my hand. He went to carry the remaining tray of gifts and there’s nothing left for me to carry.

“What would I do now?” I asked looking around for something to do.

“Just help us go down and watch.” He said. I was about to opposed but he was now out of sight. They are all outside the room and I just followed. I helped them to get inside the elevator since each one is carrying the cakes. Then suddenly, on our ride at the elevator, a phone rang.

“Who’s phone was that?” I asked and they all looked at each other.

“It’s mine.” then Doojoon said.

“Can you get it for me, please? I need to answer that.” he asked. I looked around and realized I was the only on who got a free hand. There’s nothing wrong, I guess. I have to.

“Ugh…okay.” I said then he pointed with his lips that it’s on his right pocket. I looked at him and I could clearly see he was about to smile. Tch. I looked at him angrily and he just looked away, almost blushing? What’s that for? I ignored it and tried getting it from his pocket. Damn, why does he have to have that deep, small pocket??? I was having a hard time to get his phone from his pocket. My hand was inside and looks like it’s stocked. I looked up and the other members are about to laugh too with that situation. I blushed. As soon as my hand reached the phone, I smiled a bit and tried to pull it off from his pocket. It was still ringing. Just then, I succeed getting the phone off from his pocket. I sighed happily. I showed it to him who is it and he nodded.

“Could you hold it for me?” he asked and I just nodded, defeatedly. I pressed the answer button and put it on his ear. They start talking in Korean and I try not to interpret it anymore. Then the elevator signaled that we’re on the ground floor and they’re still talking and I am still holding his phone to his ear. Then finally after talking, they hung up.

“Thanks. Could you hold my phone for a while? Just don’t answer any call.” he said and I just nodded. They all getting busy. The make-up artists put a little make up on them. But I see no difference except the covered eyebags. I watched them all getting busy. I could see from here the fans who are already in their line, waiting. I smiled as soon as I watched everything. I guess I’ll stay inside and watch them from here. And I could see that the mini fanmeeting flowed out successfully. After almost an hour, they’re still not finished with the raffle. I guess they’re already down to the last ones. I decided to wait for them at the practice room to prepare their food. They haven’t eat anything yet. I saw Hyunseung oppa glances inside and I motioned that I’m going up and he just nodded.

As soon as I got to the practice room, I went to prepare the food. But after preparing, they’re still not done. What to do now? Then I heard some ringing on my pocket. Oh, it’s Doojoon’s. I looked who’s calling and though in Korean, it says Doori noona. Oh, his sister? But he said I shouldn’t take any calls. I’ll tell him later. After a while, it finally stopped ringing. Suddenly, something in me want to look over on his phone. But that’s invasion of privacy! He wouldn’t know anyways, right? Just a peek won’t hurt. I heard from someone that you could totally know someone by looking at the their phone. The contents of someone’s phone could say what kind of person he is. Like mine, my phone’s totally invaded by Korea. From the music up to the pictures then to my apps, it’s all related. Then I start everything by unlocking his phone. I was shocked to see what was his wallpaper. Not my collage anymore, but the teddy bear I gave him this time. W-why? It wasn’t cute. It wasn’t that special. Why did he took a picture of it and make it as his wallpaper? What the hell is wrong with him? I’m confused. I don’t want to believe to that conclusion that started to form in my head. I don’t want to have these false hopes again. I don’t want get hurt. I tried to ignore that wallpaper though I know it would bug me, and continued to look through his phone more. I have to find something that would make me stop totally this feeling. I need to find something that would slap me real hard. Let’s try looking at the messages. It wouldn’t be that bad since I wouldn’t understand everything. Yeah, I can read and understand a little but not everything. As soon as I reached his messages, I saw the messages were from their manager hyungs, some were people I don’t know, then there’s Gayoon. My heart shrinked again. I would rather not to take a glance of whatever it contains. I locked his phone once again and put it inside my pocket.

I looked around the practice room. This wasn’t the first room where I saw them. There’s a lot of instruments in here – guitars, drum set, piano, violin and some wind instruments. I went to grab one of the acoustic guitars and checked if it is still in the right tune. “Oh, it seems it hasn’t been used for a while.” I told myself while trying to adjust the tuning. Not a pro here but my dad used to teach me things like this. What should I play? Should I try “On Rainy Days”?

DOOJOON POV

“I remember we have some souvenirs upstairs that we can give to our fans.” I lied. I just wanna check on Maya if she’s getting bored waiting for us.

“What are you talking about, hyung? We have everything here.” Dongwoon asked with a hint of teasing. Aish, he could easily tell if I’m just making up stories.

“Uhm… I need to get my phone from Maya. I need to check something.” I lied again. Wait no, that wasn’t a lie. What if she’ll go through my pictures? Weird pictures? My endless selfies? Some of her pictures? I definitely need to get it now. Why did I just remember that now? I don’t know how will I be able to endure the embarrassment if ever she’ll see those things there.

“Whatever.” Yoseob scoffed. I ignored their weird stares and immediately ran inside to the elevator. I really hope she hasn’t seen those yet. I frantically pressed the elevator button praying it’ll make it move faster. No, Maya. Don’t ever look at those pictures.

Finally getting off the elevator, I suddenly heard a faint sound of a guitar playing. Did we left the music player playing? On Rainy Days? But this is the first time I’ve heart this. I slowly approached the practice room and the sound of the guitar playing gets closer. That isn’t recorded. I peeked carefully from the door and saw Maya playing the guitar. Maya? She can also play? Wow. I’m more amazed what this girl could do. I stayed on my place and watched her play. The way she pluck those strings. Her tiny reactions when her fingers gave in and hurt her a bit. It seems its been a long time since she played. Her smiles when she’s pleased with the sound she makes. I smiled to myself. Everything I want in a girl are already in her. I like everything about her – her positivity, her talents, her cheerfulness, her loyalty to us, her smile, and her kindness. Right from the very start, even though I’ve been trying to fight this feeling, I know I’ve always been attracted to her. Ever since on that subway. Ever since I first saw her in class. Ever since she stopped that professor for scolding me further. Ever since she followed me outside and convinced me to do our project. There’s a lot to say but there’s only thing I knew right at this moment and I’m ready to admit this. She’s special to me. I like her. So much.

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A three year old draft that I finally uploaded. And I have new subs omg T.T Thank youuuuu ❤❤❤ 

I'm still in the process of editing some parts without changing the story, of course. I finally realized its better to put a name on those underlines. 

Subscribe and comment! I'm totally lost in this fic and I have no idea how to write this to follow the right course again. I need some inspirations T.T 

AGAIN, THANK YOU AND I ❤ U ALL !!!!!