Behind that Scene
Love at First Act
DOOJOON’S POV
Finally, I was able to talk to the well-mannered girl. And for the first time, we talked informally. I feel happiness on me. I know it’s weird but I can’t help it. I was able to say what I think of her. I’m glad she won’t feel that I’m a cold person. I’m just so happy.
As soon as I felt everyone’s getting drunk and I have to admit including me, I can no longer control everyone. Everyone is being their craziest. G.na noona is already sleeping, 4minute girls and the other members are still being their hyper selves. I guess I need to take some fresh air. I’m starting to get dizzy and I guess fresh air would help.
As soon as I reached outside, I walked around. The scent of the autumn air is the best for me to take. My head start to get normal again. As I felt I’m okay to return at the room, I saw stumbling Gayoon walking towards me.
“Oppa!!!!!” she sang as she reached me and hugged me.
“Yah, you’re already drunk.” I said at her as she was still clinging on me. It’s weird, I’m not feeling nothing at all. I should be feeling happy right now. She’s hugging me.
“Doojoon oppa, I miss you!!!!” She said while still hugging me, now tighter. I was struggling to get her off me coz she’s really drunk.
“Yah, Gayoon-ah!” I only managed to utter then she looked up to me and gave me a drunked smile.
“Doojoon oppa, I still love you!” she shouted then suddenly… she kissed me. I was so shocked by that sudden action. My eyes opened wide. And my immediate response is to get her off me. I hold both of her shoulders and pushed her away carefully.
“Yah, what are you think you’re doing? You’re already drunk.” I shouted at her then she starts crying.
“Oppa, it hurts. You don’t love me anymore?” she said while weeping so hard. I was struck dumb right on the spot. I don’t know what to answer. When I’m about to say something, she immediately lost her balance. I looked at her and she already fell asleep, leaning on my chest. I should send her home. I immediately put her on my back and start to gave her a piggyback ride to my car. As we reached my car, I put her at the back so she could be comfortable to lie down. As I settled her at the back, I texted the others that I’ll be sending Gayoon home since she already passed out. I immediately start the car and drive off to 4minute’s dorm. As I’m driving, again, I’m lost in my own thoughts. The thing she asked me made me confused. I should be happy she hugged me. I should be happy that she said she still loves me. I should be happy that she kissed me. But I don’t feel anything. I didn’t feel any feeling of happiness, excitement, fulfillment. Instead, I immediately held her away from me. But on contrary of that, she’s the one who didn’t give me an answer or more like, rejected me. But why is she telling me that she still loves me. I really felt guilty. What happened to me? What happened to my feelings for her?
As we reached their dorm, yeah I know the combination of their door lock for emergency just like now, I brought her to her bed. I removed her heels and covered her with a blanket since that’s only how far I could do for her. Then suddenly, she murmured something that I have no idea what it was. The look on her face is so sad. Did I really hurt her this bad?
“Mianhe, Gayoon. Sorry if I am hurting you. But you didn’t also tell me why you still haven’t answered me. I’m so confused right now. I don’t know what happened. I don’t know what to answer you. I don’t know if I still love you. I’m sorry.” I murmured while looking at her though she’s still sleeping. I know well she wouldn’t hear me but I prefer saying it in this way. I don’t know if I could still face her after this. I’m sorry, Gayoon. I’m sorry.
As I immediately walked out of their dorm, I immediately went back to that noraebang. I wonder if they’re already having too much fun. Maybe their hyper selves would help me forget how confused I am. I drove back and immediately went inside as I arrived there. As I entered the room silently, I carefully watch everyone. I saw that the well-mannered girl is the center of all this craziness. She started to act just like everyone. Oh, is she also got drunk? But she said she’s not a drinker? Did they asked her to drink a lot? And this Hyunseung oppa just let her ‘dongsaeng’ drank a lot? Aish, nappun oppa!!!! If I were him, I’ll be “better”. Wait, huh?
“Yah, you’re having too much fun without me?” I greeted then everyone stopped ‘cause the well-mannered girl stopped singing. Everyone looked at me except her who just kept her head down. Is there something wrong?
“Maya unnie, why did you stop?” Sohyun asked. I silently watched them as the other members approached me.
“Oh, nothing. I just felt like singing a different song.” I heard she said. Then the others start asking me. I guess it’s about Gayoon and how I end up sending her home.
“Yah, what happened to Gayoon?” Junhyung asked.
“Uh…I saw her went outside as I was having a walk for a while then she passed out. So that’s why I end up sending her home?” I explained, quite stuttering as I remembered what happened between us. I saw everyone’s brow twitched.
“Oh, that’s it?” Kikwang asked, sounding doubtful. Then everyone eyed on me, curious on what I’ll answer them.
“Yeah, that’s all. I don’t know but I guess a lot of things changed.” I answered. Oh !! Why did I said that?!!!
“I saw no changes at all. I can clearly see she still loves you. I don’t know about you, hyung.” Dongwoon said. This maknae is really tactless. I really hate talking to drunken people!!!
“I don’t know either.” I simply answered then Yoseob patted me on the shoulder. Then everyone start to lose their attention on me when they saw the well-mannered girl typed in another song. Oh, so her drunk side lessen her shyness? But that’s a good thing, I guess. I could see her sing a lot without being shy. She’s really great. I want to see her sing.
“Oh, That Woman!” Yoseob shouted as we saw the title on the flatscreen tv. I looked at the well-mannered girl and realized she’s really drunk. She was smiling and being playful but then suddenly as the song starts playing, she got serious.
“Han yeojaga geudereul…” she start singing. I felt something is wrong. I watched her closely, singing that song. It wasn’t just singing. It wasn’t just a song. There’s something wrong. Every lines she sang seems so full of emotion. How sad the song might be, she just made it sadder. I could feel the pain from every line just like how it really meant. I know too well that song is a real sad song. But the pain doesn’t come from the song. I know that too well coz I’m a singer. It directly comes from her. I keep on staring at her as she was still into singing. She closes her eyes from time to time then keeps avoiding everyone’s stare. I guess everyone is getting carried away by her song. And I guess everyone noticed how emotional she sings it. And I realized as I looked into her eyes, it looks so unusual. It’s quite puffy and the look in it is so sad. Was there something wrong? Have she been crying? But why? As she was close to the end of the song, I saw something glittering on her eyes, something liquid on her eyes. Is that tears I see? Why?
“Oppa, I have to go now. It’s already getting late.” She said as she finished singing. Everyone was still staring at her and I noticed that they all looked concerned to her. I guess they noticed that too.
“Oh, right. Let someone take you home. You’re drunk.” Hyunseung said, not even asking if she’s okay, or why she looks sad. Hyunseung, why aren’t you saying anything? Are you that numb?
“Oppa, do you want an accident to happen? Everyone is drunk. I’m going to take the cab. I’m not that drunk. Oppas, Unnies, Sohyun, I have to go now. I had a great time. See you soon.” She explained and no one seems to obliged. She half right but going home alone and drunk? No way!!!! If no one wants to say anything, I should at least do something. I know I’m not already that drunk. I should offer to take her home. But before I was about to ask her, she’s immediately nowhere to be found, already outside the room. Is she in that rush? Then suddenly she went back, I guess she’ll ask this time for someone to accompany her.
“Oh, oppa! I forgot to give you this. Happy birthday!” then she handed her a gift wrapped in a really nice wrappings to Hyunseung. So really doesn’t forget about his birthday? Is he really that important to her?
“Thank you Hyunseung oppa for bringing me here. Thank you oppas, unnies and Sohyun.” She said and everyone just waved at her since everyone looks so wasted and dizzy. Then just again, just as I realized that I should take her home, she’s gone again. She should be okay, right? But she’s drunk and it’s very late. Something might happen to her. Aish, my conscience and concern for her is haunting me!!!!!
I ran outside the room and immediately went outside the building to look for her. I was panting so hard since I was really running so hard. I looked everywhere and I can’t see her. She should be okay, right? But she’s drunk and it’s already late. Something might happen to her. Then suddenly I felt so afraid of what might happen to her. I should’ve asked her right away. But I wanna know what’s wrong. Is something happened? Is she sad? I wanna know why she acted like that!!! She was okay before I left then when I came back, she’s different. Though she’s smiling, but her eyes are betraying her. Why is she about to cry?
But after all these thought passed my mind, something confusing arouse again. Why am I acting so concerned? Why am I acting this strange? Why I don’t know why am I acting like this? Waeyo???
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