DOOJOON’S POV

“Your turn in five minutes! Last minute check –mics, wardrobe, earpieces. Finishing touches on their make-ups!”Manager hyungs shouted as everyone got frantic for the last minute before our performance. We all prepared to get set for a smooth performance. We have to make this performance a memorable one since this might be our first winning performance. I felt all charged up now since I’ve heard her voice for today though she can’t make it today. I understand how she put first her studies, the real reason why she’s here. I’m happy, not only me but the members as well, to hear her never-ending encouragements she never fail to say.

We’re all set and before going to the stage, one thing must be done.

“Everyone, gather up!”I shouted as I lead them for our cheer and everyone came.

“Let’s make this performance a hit.”I said while putting our hands together. “Na, deul, set…Hwaiting!!!”as we shouted and cheered for each one of us. I let out a sigh before walking outside our dressing room.

As soon as we climbed up the stage, we waved at our fans and our fans cheered loudly. That encouraged me more. We positioned ourselves and waited for our song to be played and the camera rolling. Then as soon as we heard the cue, we started our performance. Though we’re all getting exhausted and tired, our fans’s cheer made us all charged up. I performed with my all effort and I could feel that other members’doing the same. I could really wish she’s here so she could watch this.

As soon as our performance ended successfully, we bowed down at our fans and waved at them. If there would be a superlative word for thank you, I would say it to them. We returned backstage happily though tired since we only had slept for three hours. As soon as we reached our dressing room, we all went to our own ways how to recover from our exhaustion. All of us are all attended by our coordi noonas. They all went to wipe our sweats, retouched our make-ups then fixed our clothes. I’m really thankful to them, actually, all of us are. There wouldn’t be gorgeous B2ST on stage if it weren’t for them. All of us were done so we still have time to rest while waiting for the awarding.

“Yah, you all did great there! Watch this.”Manager Jiyong greeted and gave us the video recorder. I immediately grabbed it and everyone starts surrounding me to have a look. We all watched closely on our own performances. Each one of utters what they’ve noticed.

“My blocking was a little off. And feet movement was not at its best because of my aching ankle.”Dongwoon uttered.

“My body waves were kinda stiff.”Hyunseung pointed out.

“My rap intro timing was a little off too.”Junhyung uttered.

“I was a bit sharp on my ending notes. Maybe because I can’t hear well since my nose is clogged.”Kikwang said.

“I could do better than what I did in my high note part too.”Yoseob said.

“My voice is obviously husky.”I noticed since I’m having a sore throat. We all felt disappointed since we all knew we could all do better.

“Seriously? How you could still point it all out? What I saw, probably, was your best performance for this album.”Manager Joonkun asked, trying to make us feel better. But we all know that deep in our heart, we will always be greedy and will not be contented on what we did. We always put in our minds that we shouldn’t limit what we could do, that we could always do a little better. With that ideology, we could always improve ourselves. 

“Really, hyung?”Dongwoon asked looking up.

“Yeah, I mean that. Improve more but don’t be too hard on yourselves. By the way, I’ve monitored the sales of your album from all the online shops and physical sales, and it was all crazily high. This would be probably your best selling album! Within a week, it already beat the sales of your Lights Go on Again and Fiction albums if combined!”Manager Joonkun said enthusiastically. We all jumped from our seats and cheered.

“Really?”We all shouted. I can’t believe it. This is unbelievable! I can’t believe this album could be this hit! I wasn’t expecting much but with that much sales???!!! WOW! What luck probably we had all this time?

“Hyung!!! I can’t believe it!!!!!!”Yoseob shouted as he held my wrist and raised it up in the air while jumping. Everyone in the room were all celebrating and jumping out of joy.

“Waaaaah!!!”I shouted while laughing so hard and while hitting Hyunseung on the shoulder out of joy. It’s been a habit.

“Ah! It hurts!”Hyunseung complained and stepped away while rubbing the spot that I’ve hitting.

“Mianhae, Hyunseung-ah!”I apologized while rubbing the spot that I hit and he just shook his head. Then while rubbing his shoulder, I noticed the bracelet that I’ve been wearing. The bracelet that she gave me. I smiled to myself as I analyzed the bracelet. Since she came, everything seems went well. Since she gave this bracelet, I felt some strong positive energy flowing within me. I know, I’m exaggerating. But since she gave me this, this incredible album sales happen. If we won our first crown now, I would start to consider this bracelet a lucky charm.

After waiting for long, the PDnims called us since it’s going to be the awarding. We all went out of our dressing rooms and headed to the stage. It’s against us and SISTAR. They’re getting much attention these days and that made me nervous a bit. Then the emcees start announcing the scores for the sales to the voting. My mind was all blank so I wasn’t able to compute everything in my mind. I could see my members are all nervous as well. We all closely watched the scores on the screen. Then our hearts stopped when we saw the score stopped. We won!

“Today’s winner, BEAST!!!”MCs, Infinite’s Sungyeol and Secret’s Sunhwa (a/n:lol this is so random). We all smiled widely as we accepted out trophy then Sungyeol gave me the mic to thank the fans.

“Ah, Kamsahamnida! Thank you, President Hong Seungsong, our manager hyungs, Cube staffs. Thank you also Shinsadong Tiger-hyung, Ha Woosin hyung and PREPIX. Everyone who came to watch, thank you also and for our dear B2UTIES who always been supporting us ever since, thank you very much!”I stopped and almost gave the mic to Sungyeol when I realized I forgot something.

“For our international fans who are here, thank you so much! Thank you for supporting us all the way here. Thank you so much! And we love you all!” I said and bowed at them. Ever since meeting her, I realized how hard it is to be in between of the language differences. I remember how she tried so hard talking to the cashier that night we went out. I mean to say this to her. I hope she was able to watch it even just a replay. I would be happy if this message reached her. And for the other international fans, though I didn’t know how hard it has been for them to endure this language barrier, I hope they all got what I mean that I’m really sincere. I hope I broke this barrier and this made them happy. We wouldn’t be known all over the world if it wasn’t for those loving international fans. My eyes caught the bracelet again on my wrist and smiled again. Yes, this is, indeed, a lucky charm. She’s a lucky charm.

As soon as we ended our speech, other groups bowed at us and congratulating us which we bowed back in return and they start leaving us on the stage for our encore.

“B2UTY, thank you!!!”I shouted again.

“Kamsahamnida!!!!”Junhyung shouted and others followed and we started singing our song with while waving our first trophy for this promotion.

“Saranghae!!!”Dongwoon shouted while trying his best to do some aegyo. We laughed at him how funny he is doing that. And once again, we bowed altogether at the audience for thanking them. Then after a while, we got the cue that they already stopped airing it and the music also stopped. We all waved goodbyes as we headed backstage. There’s going to be a celebration!

As soon as we’re back at our dressing room, the room was filled again with our cheers. We took picture with our trophy with big smiles in our faces.

“You all did a great job. And I would like to announce a celebration later!”Manager Jiyong announced and the room got noisier. Celebration? I guess it would be a great idea, if she’ll be with us. She deserved to be here.

“We all deserve a celebration!”Junhyung shouted and everyone agreed.

“Where are we going to celebrate? How about on our favorite chicken restaurant??? Unlimited chicken!!!!!”Hyunseung shouted as the usual chicken guy. But that wasn’t a bad idea, I also love that! Should I ask if he should invite her since they’re close? They would misunderstand if it would came directly from me.

“Yeah! Good idea, Hyunseung. How about inviting Maya?”I asked while trying not to be obvious that I really want her to be here.

“Eyyy, Yoon Doojoonie! Why not you since it’s your idea?”Hyunseung teased. Hyunseung teasing me to her? What happened to him? I thought he likes her but now pushing me to her? He doesn’t like her anymore? I have no rival then? Aish, what am I saying?

“Yeah, Hyunseung’s right. But are you sure about that, Hyunseung?”Yoseob teased Hyunseung and he just nodded awkwardly. What is he trying to do? He obviously still likes her.

“Okay, Doojoon-hyung. You do it! We also want her here. She brighten ups the atmosphere.”Dongwoon insisted. Aish! I was trapped with my own plan.

“Do it! Do it! Do it!”then Kikwang shouted and lead others to shout also. This is getting irritating.

“Okay, okay. Fine! I’ll do it!”I said annoyingly and get my phone from my bag. Everyone looked at me with much anticipation and a bit of teasing. I guess I’m quite obvious now. I dialed her number and everyone start to get closer to the phone while trying to listen to our conversation.

“Yah, go away!”I shouted while pushing them away and finally they obeyed but eyes and ears still glued to me. As soon as I pressed the call key and with just one ring, it was answered already.

“Hello? Doojoon?” she greeted, quite confuse. Maybe she was curious why I was calling at this time. Maybe she’s still in her class.

“Oh, Maya!” I answered back, trying not to be awkward specially with these annoying people around you, smiling weirdly as soon as they heard that she’s on line now.

“Uhm… why did you call?” she asked. I have to have a straight answer for this.

“The members would want you to come with us to the celebration. What time your classes would end?” I asked. I hope she could make it.

“Well, actually. We’re here in the studio.” She answered. Studio? What studio? I thought she has a class. She’s here??????

“What do you mean studio? We? You’re with Hana? You’ve got to watch our performance???” I asked excitedly. I just can’t help it. The thought that she’s somewhere near excites me. Then the other members have all surprised expression on their faces as soon as they heard it.

“Yeah.”she answered shortly. She’s really here!!! But how? Maybe later.

“Okay, just head backstage. You know where to go, right? Okay, bye.” I ordered and hung up. I know she wouldn’t refuse it so I didn’t wait for any response. And I couldn’t wait to see her. It would be our first meeting after the revelation between us that I knew the she likes me. But to make this less awkward for her since she’s the type who easily got shy out of something, I’ll try to act like nothing happened. For now.

“She made it! She was able to watch our first win!”Yoseob said happily.

“But what about that, hyung? The members would want you to come? Only us? This was your idea, right? Why not tell the truth?”Junhyung teased and other laughed. I’m the apple of their eye to be teased again.

“Cause I want to! Bye! I’ll just go to the restroom!”I said and left the room. That’s the only thing so they would stop.

“Don’t go, hyung! Let’s watch the performance again!”Kikwang shouted, more like of teasing again. I ignored what I heard and head to the restroom. I hope she’ll be there when I come back. As soon as I reached the restroom, Infinite’s Sungyeol was there too.

“Doojoon-sunbae! Congratulations! I also heard about your album sales.”He said as he bowed and I bowed back while smiling.

“Oh, thank you! You guys are also doing good too. I heard about the response of your Japanese fans on your concert there. It was great.”I complemented back and that spark off our conversation. We’ve talked about each other activities and gave him some sunbae advices. I didn’t realized we’ve talked for almost 20 minutes and remembered that she’s coming so I guess I have to go.

“I have to go. They’re waiting for me already. Good luck on your activities. You’re doing good! See you around!”I said and he agreed.

“I guess I have to go too. Thank you for your advice, hyung. It would really help us. See you. Annyeong!”he said and bowed and I did too. We both went out of the restroom, going on both opposite ways. As I was walking back to the dressing room, I could already hear the noise coming out of the room. I guess she came already.

“Doojoon! Congratulations.” She greeted as soon as I got inside the room. I felt those butterflies in my stomach again as soon as I heard her voice. I guess she still thinks about what happened the last time we met. Then I walked to her.

“Thank you! Really.” I said sincerely as I patted her shoulder. I really mean it. Her existence has been a great help to us as our solid moral supporter. I smiled at her and she smiled back. My heart always jumps everytime I see her sweet smile. All of the exhaustion seems gone. I am exaggerating again, you think? But that’s what I’m feeling right now.

“Hyung, there will be no celebration anymore!” then Dongwoon said, interrupting the moment between us. HUH??? No celebration? I wouldn’t be able to be with her for long. I guess a surprise schedule came. But it’s okay, there’s still time to celebrate. What’s important is she’s here.

“Kwaenchanha! There would be next time.”I said and patted Dongwoon’s head. I know everyone wants a celebration now but there’s no time. Though that celebration with her would be my chance to thank her.

“Hyung, that’s what Maya said a while ago! You have the same way of thinking.” Yoseob said, obviously teasing us. He’s starting it again. But really? I guess I have to agree to that. We have something in common!!!

“Everyone would think just like that!” I defended. I have to change the topic. Why is she here? I thought she has class. Did she cut class for us?

“I thought you have classes?” I asked to her.

“About that, our professor didn’t came so we went here.” she answered naturally. She seems not shy now. That’s right, there’s nothing to be uncomfortable of.

“Technically, running!” then Hana added out of nowhere, and we all laughed by that fact. I guess they really want to be here. Fortunately, that professor didn’t came. Thanks to whoever that professor is, Maya’s here!!!

 “We have a photoshoot for CeCi. They’ve just informed us now and we couldn’t let that opportunity pass. We have to go now.”Manager Joonkun said as he came to announce. I guess this is the end of our meeting. “We have to go. Next schedule.” Junhyung explained to her and she nodded. Though sadly short, I’m happy that I saw her. I want to say a lot of things to her right now but I don’t know how. I want to make her feel I’m really thankful and how happy I am that she’s here. I need a proper timing for this.

“I guess we really have to go too.” Hana said sadly. It’s nice to see that she have someone really close to her. I felt relieved even though I haven’t able to see her lately. I wasn’t able to go to school these days.

“Well, that’s it! We had our first trophy. Our reward?” Dongwoon jokingly asked. They still cannot forget that. They’ve been talking about that even in our dorm. But luckily, when they saw mine, I just said that it came from a fan. They didn’t ask anymore and I’ve been sleeping with it beside me peacefully since then.

“Not yet, triple crowns from all the music shows, remember? In three weeks, oppa.” she said defensively. Yeah, right! I have to do well also. I might get another one hahahaha. But now, I need to have her alone for me to do what I have to do. 

“Challenge accepted. Let’s go?” Hyunseung said then we all head out of the room. Aish, this guy’s lucky! They’ll have a dinner alone! But I could ask her anytime I want to, right? But how???

“Hey, we’re heading the other way. Okay, just always do well. Rest when you can and eat well. Look at you guys, there’s eyebags on your faces. Yoseob oppa, you’re getting thin. You too, Junhyung oppa. And Kikwang oppa, you got a clogged nose. Dongwoon oppa, you’re quite limping. Hyunseung oppa, it seems you have a stiff neck. You’ve been stretching you neck since I came.  And Doojoon, don’t force your voice much, you’re voice seems hoarse now. Take care of yourselves well.” She said concernly, even sounds like nagging. She noticed all of that? But how?   

“How did you noticed all of that?” Hyunseung asked. Yeah right. How she did that? She knew something’s wrong to us. She’s like a mom who knew her kids well.

“I am fan and I have a sharp eye when I saw something was off to all of you. Right, unnie?” she answered confidently. She could see all of that? Everything? I wonder if since from the start she already could noticed everything. Though we try hard not to show that we’re not okay, they still could see it. They still got worried.

“Uh..yeah! Maya, let’s just meet up at the restroom, okay? I really need to pee now. You all did well. Congratulations. I really need to go. Annyeong!”Hana agreed and ran off. Good job, Hana! Okay, this is good. She’s alone now. I guess it’s my time now. I feel more grateful and I want to do something for her. I want to say something to her to make her happy. She deserves it. And if I didn’t, I would be uncomfortable anyways. My heart is going unstable again because of all of the feelings I’ve been holding in. But how? How would I approach her? What to say?

“So after all, fans could see anything even we tried to hide it from them?” Kikwang asked and she nodded. We really can’t hide anything from our fans. I wonder if I got them so much worried. If she got so much worried for us, for me.

“Look at this dongsaeng.” Hyunseung said as she put an arm around her shoulder. This oppa and dongsaeng thing they have really irritates me. Do they really have to show it off???

“We have to go now. Thank you for reminding us, Maya.” Junhyung said. Okay, this is my cue then. I have to walk off with them then when everyone’s out, I have to pretend I forgot something and I’ll go back. I hope I could still see her then.

“That’s nothing! Take Care.”she waved and others waved back at her. As soon as I made sure they’re out of sight, I did what I have to do.

“Just wait me on the van, I think I forgot my phone charger at the dressing room.”I said and they just nodded. Success! Then I ran back and tried calling her but not so loud.

 “Maya! Wait!” I shouted and she turned back to face me. I smiled as soon as I stopped in front of her. This is it.

 “Oh, Doojoon. Why?” she asked, with her clueless face. That remind me how she look when I first saw her on the subway.

“Uhm… I just want to thank you. I’m thankful you went here. I’m thankful for supporting us.”I said without pausing for a bit. I think she was surprised that I just came back to say it to her.

“Ah… that? It was nothing. I’m a b2uty, right? I’ll do what I have to do.” she answered. You don’t know how much it meant to us, to me. We’ll lucky to have a fan like you. I’m lucky to have you.

“That was everything for us…”I uttered, rephrasing the words that I really want to say. “And also, thank you for this.”I added while raising my arm to show her the bracelet. I wonder if she noticed that I’m wearing it when we performed. I’m sure she did. She said she have sharp eyes.  “This has been my lucky charm that’s why win. Thank you.” I said. Yeah right. You are.  

“That can’t be lucky charm, I just personally made it. You guys are really great and a lot of people support you that’s why you win. You deserve it because of your hard work not because of some lucky charm. You’re great, remember that.”  she said and my heart fluttered. I don’t know how to respond to that. Though she right, I still want to think I’ve got some lucky charm. I still can’t believe that we’re that great in the eyes of our fans, in the eyes of the people. Those words made me happier. Our hard works are deeply appreciated. Every effort we gave is worth it. It’s great to hear words like that especially when it came from someone special. Yes, she is special. I know I’m being bold but I really want to hug her right now.

“You have to go. I guess they’re already waiting for you. Annyeong!”she said, not waiting for my response. I’m still speechless. Words I want to say are overflowing in my mind and I don’t know how to say those. As soon as she turned her back and ready to walk off, I wrapped my arms around her, hugging her. I could feel her whole back on my chest. It feels so warm. The warm feeling that would always be loved.

“D-doojoon?”the only thing she immediately said. I know she’s confused right now and have a plan to move away. Just don’t, Maya.

“Don’t move. Listen to me, just accept my thank you. Accept the fact that the bracelet you gave me was a lucky charm, my lucky charm. I’m very thankful for that. And thank you for always supporting us. It’s a big thing for me. Thank you for being here. Thank you for your concern.”I whispered to her, still hugging her. I want you to feel how thankful I am for your existence in our lives. I know if I just said those words, it would be just plain words of gratitude. But doing this would not just to make you feel my gratitude but there’s something inside me that just want to hug you. This growing feeling inside me for you, I cannot do something about it anymore. Should I just go with the flow of my heart?

“Should I say, you’re my lucky charm?”I added, finally saying the cheesiest words I’ve ever said. But saying those words, I just want to make her feel more special, that she’s special to me.

As soon as I felt that I accomplished what I have to do, I decided to let go of her even though I still don’t want to. I have to. I know they are already waiting for me. And if I didn’t let go, this cute little girl would faint. And I was right. As soon as she faced me again, there’s no difference between her and a tomato anymore. She’s blushing seriously and I let out a laugh though I want to hold it in. She bowed immediately and walked off immediately without saying anything. As soon as she’s far enough, my hands curled up and I was smiling weirdly. I was getting giddy and all. Then there are those butterflies in my stomach again. I can’t understand what I feel. Then there’s one guy who saw me and eyed me weirdly. I just bowed at him and proceeded to walk off. My intentions and messages were sent to her. I’m pretty sure. She was blushing when she at the end of what I did. She’s really cute everytime she’s blushing. Should I make it more frequent from now on? But I’m pretty sure she’s totally lost right now. I made her confuse more. Don’t worry, everything would be clear to you when the right time comes. I would clear it up for you.

As soon as I reached our van, they all eyed me weirdly. I hope they didn’t saw anything. They would tease me again if they did. I hope they’re just looking at me like that since I was smiling. I’m pretty sure I am. I just can’t help it. The thought of what happened are still processing in my mind.

“Yah, what took you so long?”Junhyung greeted, nagging again. I just smiled again. I feel so happy now. Let’s share the happiness.

“I forgot where I put it so I have to search it around the room. Sorry, kids!”I answered happily then I went inside and closed the door of our car. I decided to sit behind, beside Dongwoon.

 “Why so happy, hyung?”Kikwang asked as he looked back at me. I guess he noticed.

“Nothing. I’m just happy I found my charger.”I answered and I laughed all by myself. They just shook their heads off and got settled. Good, they didn’t saw anything. They didn’t asked more. I guess they knew well that I was on a good mood where they couldn’t talk to me properly. I smiled at Dongwoon beside me and he just kept a straight face. I looked away, feeling nervous and decided to watch on the road. What’s wrong with him?

“I saw everything, hyung. Everything. You and Maya” out of nowhere, Dongwoon whispered to me and I faced him nervously. I wasn’t able to respond immediately, waiting for his expressions on how to respond to that. Then I guess Dongwoon got what I want to see and he smiled teasingly. I sighed and smiled back. I just playfully put my index finger on my lips, signaling him to keep it secret and he just nodded, smiling. Good maknae. But I got busted again by one of the members. Don’t worry. I’ll explain whatever it is in no time. Just wait. I’m still balancing everything in my heart. I’m still balancing whether this feeling a good or bad one. I’m also thinking of everyone’s sake. What is more important now is our successful promotion of our album. But honestly, after what happened, after what I did, I’ve got all recharged and got more courage to do well on everything I do. I know now that there would always be people who could appreciate everything I will do. And I’m happy to know one of them. I’m happy that it was Maya as one of them.

I touched the bracelet once again and smiled to myself. My lucky charm from now on. I can’t lose it. I guess I have to go with the flow of my heart. 

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Problem fixed, same with the internet connection:) thank you for you concern, @Moony_Kat . Don't worry, I'm not offended. I really appreciate it, really!:)