Light.

Yoona woke up with throbbed heavy head, “Urgh ! I couldn’t sleep well again!” she clenched her hairs then ruffled it.

But also she wondered when in the last time she got nice sleep? Yesterday? Last week? Last month? Last year? 3 years ago? 8 years ago? 10 years ago? Or she never got a nice sleep after she realized that she was live in cruel life?

Now she was 24 years old and she had taste the bitterness of life since she was 10 years old. When the time kids usually play with their parents, she saw her mother and her father screaming each other. When the time teenagers usually play with their friends, she should struggling with her own bills. When the time youngster spend their time with their lover, she spend her time with her bestfriend, alcohol, smoke and pills.

“Ah i never have a nice sleep i guess hahaha” she said it and laugh bitterly.

She moved her head to window, “The sky is so dark like my life, right?” she asked to herself.

Right, she knew it the answer was absolutely right. She have a dark life since ever, and all she need is a light, her own light like the city light that lighten the city on the night. But she thought, she have no one on this world, all she have is her self. Friends? She have but not much and not so close. Bestfriend? Her bestfriends are alcohol, smoke and pills. Family? She never knew what is family to her.

Sometimes she wondering, what the points of her life? She have no one to love and she have no one who love her, all she do is working for the bills and her bestfriends. After she working she will just bought her bestfriend, go back to her apartement and drowning herself in the darkness. Sometimes she thought, she has no reason again to live but is her have a real life from the first? She feel that her body was live but she was dead inside, broken and no one can fix her, except her light. But she still not found her light so she will still stay in the darkness waiting until her body following die like her soul.

Now her eyes was wandred to her room, “This is room or what?! Hahaha! Empty bottles everywhere! Dirty clothes! Look ahahaha my !!” she said following by laugh, she laugh very loudly and madly until she felt crazy. “I must be so crazy! Hahaha why i laughing by my own ty joke?” she laugh again cracking the soundless night.

But the truth is, she have been crazy or depression atleast. Her life was too cruel for her, she lucky and maybe not so lucky because she has her three besties, cigarette, alcohol and pills. Cigarette always make her calm, alcohol always make her happy, and pills the most important bestie that she have, pills always prohibit her to do a suicide. She got the pills from her doctor, but the stupid is she always took the pills more than the normal dosage, until she was addicted to it but she think, if she die, she has no one who cried for losing her.

She walk to the bath room and open cabinet, her smle growing oddly as she looks many  tube full with pills. “My happy little pills~” she sang as touch like it was the most precious things on the world.

 She open the tube and took a lot of pills, “10 pills of prozac.. 10 pills of xanax.. should i add it with mdma or ectasy?” she asked her self and took everything she want. She gripped the pills tightly on her hand, and took a glass of mineral water. When she took the pills to someone slapped her hand and make the pills fell to the ground.

“What the hell?!!!” Yoona yelled as she look at her pills. “You?! Why you do—“ she immediately stop as she saw her.

“Unnie.. stop it..” she said between her sobs.

“Doctor how can you come to my apart—“

“Stop it unnie! And stop call me doctor when we are not at hospital.” She sniffed, “Unnie please stop it, you start addicted of it, i don’t want give you any anti-depressant again!!!!”

Yoona still shocked seeing her doctor suddenly at her apartement in the middle of the night, even though Yoon gave her passcode of her apartement but Yoon know Seohyun is polite person so it’s impossible to her bragging other people place. But the most thing that make her shocked is seeing Seohyun tears rolling in her beautiful face. Why she cried? Why she prohibit me to take the medicine, why she threw my pills, does she care to me?, Yoona thought.

“Unnie!!! Listen to me!!!!” Seohyun yelled.

“You still not answer my question.” Yoona said it coldly, “Why you are in here? In this the middle of ing night?”

Seohyun still not answer Yoona’s question, only sobs could heard from her.

“You still won’t answer my question?” Yoona took a cigarette and put it between her lips.

When she want to lit it up Seohyun took it and stepped it to the ground.

“What the hell Seohyun?!”

“Can you not took your self nearer to death?” Seohyun said and ran to Yoona to hug her, “I don’t want see you like this” Seohyun burried her face to her shoulder.

Yoona still shocked and frozen seeing her like this.

“I have been visit you at night for almost 2 month. But i always keep silent and watching you, you smoke, drunk, eat a lot of pills, not eat healthy, and cry. It’s hurt see you like this unnie. And today i want you stop everything, i will help you, i will help you!”

Yoona kept silent digest every words she said, her shoulder was damped of seohyun tears, Seohyun still hugged her tightly.

“Why you doing this?” Yoona said softly, “Why? You are not even my friend. You are just my doctor, we rarely meet, why you do th—“

“Because i love you!!!!”

“Nobody love me..”

“But i love you unnie!!!”

“Nobody love me.”

“I really love you!!!”

“Nobody love me! and how can you can love stupid, useless, crazy person like me?!”

“I don’t care unnie! I really love you!!”

Yoona tried to broke the hug but Seohyun hug her more tightly.

“Unnie don’t push me.. I really love you!” Seohyun said it and cried more louder.

Yoona still don’t realized her tears was slowly fall too. She doesn’t know what she felt now, she didn’t believe that someone love her but she was happy too knowing someone was love her. Slowly her heart moved her hands to hug Seohyun back when Seohyun keep telling Yoona that she loved her too much. Then Seohyun stop when she felt Yoona’s hands on her back.

“If you really love me, please be my light on my dark life and guide me get out from this darkness.” she said it softly.

Seohyun smile, “I’ll unnie... I will...”

Another what the story of mine~ Next time Yoonsic~