Painful Decision

Lana’s head started to spin as she recalled the painful yet beautiful memory. In front of her was the same man she encountered many years ago. She couldn’t believe her eyes for seeing and her ears for hearing the familiar tune all over again. Yongguk was that man. He was there for her all along. She couldn’t recognise him before but now her memories confirmed it all.

“G-G-Guk-Gukk-Gukkie...” Lana stuttered.

Yongguk closed his eyes and let his ears be thrilled by the same voice he once heard. His lips quivered in happiness. Lana still remembered and that mattered the most to him. “Yes, Lana –“ He responded with a smile.

However, his face creased when he noticed Lana’s painful expression. “It can’t be.” She stammered. Her hands reached for her shaking head as she frowned in agony. “My head hurts.”

“Lana, are you okay?” Worried, Jongin went by her side and held her tightly.

Yongguk watched in surprise as Lana began to recoil. “L-L-Lana –“ He stuttered.

“My head hurts.” Lana looked shaken and distressed. Yes, she wanted to believe Yongguk but everything was happened too fast for her to comprehend. She shut her eyes tightly and tried to calm herself but it turned worst when Jongin’s voice entered her ears.

Lana was Jongin’s mate. But Yongguk was the first person she promised to be with.

Jongin wrapped his arms around her as he watched her in concern. He didn’t know the reason for her sudden agony. He was just worried for her. Meanwhile, Yongguk stepped back and watched their embrace. Honestly he was hurt not because he wasn’t the one by Lana’s side. He was hurt because Lana seemed to deny his presence. It was as though she knew who he was but refused to believe him.

After a brief moment, Lana slowly opened her eyes which instantly landed on Jongin’s. His eyes showed that he was just as confused as her but there was more. His eyes displayed his genuine love and care only for her. At that moment, she wished he wouldn’t view her that way. She couldn’t bear to look into his eyes any longer knowing that she was bound to hurt him.

Lana took a deep breath slowly and began to speak. “Jongin, I want to go home.”

“Yes my love. Let’s go home.” Jongin replied and her cheeks ever so gently. The amazing feeling when Lana decided to go back to EXO brought him joy.

“Lana –“ Yongguk bent down to reach for her but instantly the girl looked away.

“I’m going back.” Lana said without looking at Yongguk’s eyes. She knew he was hurt by her actions but she couldn’t help it. She was afraid to look at him once more. “Thanks.” She muttered before walking by Jongin’s side.

Kris turned to Yongguk and knew right away something just happened. Although he didn’t know what it was, but he could see that Yongguk was hurt. Yet, he was still gracious enough to flash a smile and say. “Thank you for healing Lana.”

“No worries. I have been and will still be looking out for her.” Yongguk smiled weakly.

Lana heard his words but she continued walking away before Junhong stood in front of her abruptly. “Lana, Hyung is the one... Please believe... I know it’s hard for you but it’s even harder for Hyung –“

“Junhong, stop.” Yongguk voiced.

However, Junhong ignored. “Deep down, you’re waiting for him all this while.”

Lana’s heart sank because whatever Junhong just said was absolutely right.

“Lana, let’s go.” Jongin pulled her arm gently and walked out of the room without waiting for her to speak. The longer she stayed with the vampires, the harder it was for her to leave. Besides, she was hurting as every second passed. Jongin knew it. He could feel her aching heart.

Yongguk watched as her back slowly disappearing from his sight. A part of him was glad he successfully healed Lana. His worries were now gone after knowing that the healing pool worked just right for Lana as well. Of course, it did. Lana was half of their kind after all. However, another part of him was in terrible pain. Lana remembered but she refused to believe him.

“Hyung, what are you going to do now?” Daehyun stepped forward as he looked sympathetically at Yongguk.

“I’ll continue what I’ve been doing all along; to protect and love her indefinitely.” Yongguk replied.

Lana walked silently back home with her head hung low. Jongdae turned to Kris to see if the leader knew what just happened. Just like the rest of EXO, Kris was unsure. Meanwhile, Jongin was worried but besides worrying for Lana, he also felt tensed. There was something about Yongguk and Lana; a connection which even Jongin could sense. Although he wished to brush it off but Lana’s eyes confirmed it all. Her eyes instantly lit up when Yongguk spoke to her. It was as though her hidden happiness was suddenly unleashed.

“Lana, are you okay?” Luhan finally asked after enduring the silence way too long. However, Lana remained quiet and didn’t answer. Luhan walked up to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. She turned around to see Luhan’s worried expression. “Lana, what’s wrong?”

Weakly, she shook her head and replied. “Nothing –“

“Are you still hurt?” Jongdae asked.

Lana flashed a brief smile and said. “I’m fine, thank you.” She turned around and started walking again. The guys shrugged, still wondering why Lana turned glum suddenly.

Jongin could no longer stand it; seeing Lana’s distraught face and also listening to her heart beating slowly and heavily were only turning him anxious by the second. He approached Lana from behind, stopped her and spun her around. Gripping her shoulders tightly, Jongin pierced right straight in her eyes. “Tell me what’s wrong?”

“N-N-No –“

“Don’t lie to me. I want you to tell me what’s bothering you.” Jongin cut before she could even answer.

Lana gulped nervously. It was the first time she saw Jongin up close with his eyes flashing anxiously at her. Ever since the night she became his, Jongin was never rough with her. He was gentle and kind but at that moment, he seemed distressed watching her. Lana didn’t blame him. It was her fault for making them worry but she couldn’t help it. Whatever happened back in the palace with Yongguk still invaded her mind. She wished to tell Jongin everything but it wasn’t so easy.

“I-I-I-I...” Lana stuttered. It was difficult to speak especially when those pair of eyes staring at her. She didn’t want to hurt Jongin; never ever. “I’ll tell you when I’m ready.” She finally said.

Jongin smiled and assured her nicely after seeing her terrified face. “You don’t have to tell me if it is going to hurt you more –“

“No. I promise, when the right time comes, I’ll explain.” Lana inserted.

Jongin pulled her in for an embrace. “I’ll wait.”

Lana closed her eyes and buried deep into his chest. She wanted to scream and tell him to let her go. She didn’t deserve this; not at all. She felt like a betrayer. However, her body remained still as she enjoyed his warmth. She wanted this more than anything. It was perfect. Nothing could beat Jongin’s warmth.

Meanwhile, in a far distant, Yoochun slumped to the floor. His mind games were over. He was too exhausted. Despite losing out because the girl was healed, Yoochun flashed an evil grin. All his hard work definitely paid off when he already found out who is the real one. Now that the target has been sealed, they’re just waiting for the right time to end it all.

“Lana, we will see you soon...”

~**~

Days passed after the incident and the EXO guys together with Lana seemed to have slowly gained back their normal daily lives; all except Mira. Mira has not forgotten one bit of the night’s event. The scar on her face was still there and it only reminded her one thing; revenge. It was painful watching herself in the mirror, but it was more painful seeing EXO worrying over Lana; the girl she hated so much. She was after all the cause of her immense misery. That night, if Lana wasn’t there, the vampires wouldn’t have appeared. That night, if Lana wasn’t there, Mira would have had a memorable night with EXO, especially Jongin. Basically Mira would only be happy once Lana ceased to exist.

Mira’s gazed down after seeing her reflection on the mirror. She couldn’t bear to see the ugly scar. In school, everyone talked about her. At home, everyone stared at her sympathetically. She didn’t need all this. Furiously, she grabbed the hair brush and threw it right at the mirror. It cracked loudly and shattered into pieces. The noise definitely caught some of the guys’ attention. Luhan, Yixing and Jongin barged into her room, fearing that something bad has happened to her.

“Mira, what happ –“ Luhan stopped to see Mira crouching down on the floor, sobbing out loud. He turned to see the mirror in pieces.

Yixing turned to Jongin who watched Mira in surprised. Jongin knew Mira was affected after the night’s incident but he didn’t expect it to be so bad and dragged for so long. It has been almost a week but Mira was still in a wreck. It hurt him of course. Although Mira was never nice to Lana, Jongin still cared for her like his own sister.

“Mira, are you okay?” Yixing bent down to check on her. Thankfully, there wasn’t any physical injury.

Mira abruptly pushed him and looked away. She didn’t want to see them; especially Jongin who was watching her. “Go away!” She yelled.

“Mira...”

“I said go away. I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to see anyone. I don’t even want to see myself!” Mira shouted angrily.

The guys were taken aback by her words. They obviously had no idea of Mira’s pain and felt bad for not giving her the attention when she needed them the most. Jongin stomped towards her and bent down. He took her hands and held it tightly. Mira was pushing him away while crying but Jongin firmly gripped her.

“Mira, get a hold of yourself.” Jongin said as he directed his eyes at her. “Everything will be fine; I promise.” He her right cheek where the scar was.

Mira calmed down a little before saying. “Don’t look at me with those pitiful eyes. It hurts more –“

Without wasting any second, Jongin pulled Mira into a tight embrace and rested his chin on her head. He let her cry out loud. His heart sank as he felt her sniffing away continuously. He wished he could help her get through this as easily as possible but he cursed at himself for being too weak. He should be stronger for her. “Mira, you are still the same girl I first saw 12 years ago. Nothing has changed, not one bit.” He assured while gently patting her back.

“Oppa...” Mira sobbed.

Meanwhile, Lana entered the room amidst the commotion. Watching their embrace, a tear dropped. Her heart ached so much for Mira. There was nothing Lana could do but just watch. She could feel Mira’s pain yet she was helpless. She knew Mira wouldn’t forgive her, never. Slowly, she exited the room, not wanting to intervene anymore.

The next day in class while waiting for lesson to begin, Lana was reading a book when Junhong entered. After the unfortunate incident, Junhong has been absent from school. It was said that he took leave, for how long? No one knew. Hence, when he finally appeared, Lana was happy to see him. However, Junhong didn’t seem like how he used to be. He entered with a dark and grim expression, a total opposite of his usual cheerful bubbly self. His aura was slightly terrifying that some students decided not to ask him on his whereabouts. He went to his seat, which was beside Lana and placed his bag noisily on the table. Lana could swear that he heard a hissing sound from him. Slowly, she faced him and smiled but Junhong stared right at her expressionlessly. She pulled her gaze away from him and reverted back to her book. She let out a sigh knowing that the sudden change in attitude could have resulted because of her.

After the incident, everyone changed including Mira’s group of friends. With Mira’s scar taking a long time to heal, she had no choice but to face the schoolmates with a prominent scar on her right cheek. Ever since then, everyone chided her. The once highly popular girl in school was reduced to dirt. Hara, who used to be Mira’s close friend decided to find new friends. Furthermore, their friendship was long gone when Hara began ridiculing Mira.

“Look at that , such an ugly scar.”

“Damn, she’s ugly now. I don’t even want to sit close to her.”

“Serve her right. It’s about time she stops being the Queen in school. Besides, she wasn’t even pretty to begin with.” Hara added on the comment made by her new found friends.

Mira heard their insults and tightened her fists. She tried to remain calm and let it be but it continued. Her body started to shake due to the humiliation and anger. Just when she was about to snap at them, a voice entered.

“Will you stop?! I can’t believe you’re saying all these to Mira when she was once your best friend!” Lana scolded as she stood right next to Mira. Her eyes flashed fury towards Hara and her group of friends.

“Oh please, that was before she has that ugly scar on her face.” Hara shrugged, treating their friendship so trivial.

Lana pushed herself forward and glared right at the girl who was shorter. “How dare you –“

“Stop!” Mira yelled and slammed her fists on the desk. She approached Lana and pulled the girl roughly.  “Mind your own business!” Instead of thanking her, Mira scowled.

“Mira, I was trying to help.”

“I don’t need your help. Go away!” Mira shouted and pushed Lana harshly until she stumbled backwards. Thankfully, Junhong was quick enough to catch her from falling and hit her head against the chairs and desks. Mira’s eyes didn’t show any signs of remorse; in fact she looked even angrier. She pushed everyone and left the class abruptly.

“Mira –“ Lana called but was totally ignored.

“You okay?” Junhong asked while still holding tightly to Lana. However, his harsh cold expression immediately softened when he noticed a tear flowed down her cheek. Shakily, she stood up and straight away avoided looking at Junhong. She didn’t want him to see her tears. But it was too late because he saw everything. He felt so miserable after seeing how hurt she was. Although initially he was irritated at her for being cruel to his Yongguk Hyung, he couldn’t help but feel that Lana was the one hurting the most in this mess.

An evening after school, Lana sat in the balcony waiting for the sky to turn dark. Her mind was whirling over so many things and she needed fresh air to soothe her nerves. She rested her back against the comfortable sofa and hugged her knees as the air turned chilly. Suddenly, she heard footsteps approaching and instantly ly to see Jongin.

“Hey doll, why are you out here alone?” Jongin asked and took a spot beside her. Instinctively, he pulled her closer and wrapped his warm arms around her. His arm around her was a perfect fit. She was definitely the right size for him, the right one for him.

Lana shook her head gently and stared low. “Nothing, I’m just thinking.”

“What are you thinking?” Jongin asked nicely.

“How’s Mira?” Without replying to his question, Lana posed a question at him.

“She’s fine. Don’t worry...” Jongin answered as he rested his head on top of her head. “I want to apologise for Mira’s behaviour in school.”

Lana shook her head and said. “Don’t apologise. I should be the one apologising to her. I’ve caused her so much pain. I-I-I...” She stuttered. “I don’t even dare to see her after knowing what I’ve done.”

“Shh... it’s not your fault. Everything was an accident.” Jongin hushed. “Baby, don’t think too much on it.”

“How can I not think and worry after seeing her like that?!” Lana snapped. She pulled away from Jongin and stared at him. “Countless of apologies won’t even do anything.” She added.

“Lana, it’s going to be okay.” Jongin held her shoulders.

Lana looked away and sighed. “Jongin, I think...” She stopped briefly trying to figure out how to convey her thoughts. “Use your blood for Mira and heal her.”

“What are you saying?” Jongin asked and gaped in surprised.

“Your blood can heal all sorts of injuries, so use it for her.” Lana answered.

“Lana, you’re my mate and –“

“Use it and let her be your mate instead.” Lana cut in before she listened to him.

Jongin’s eyes widened as his mouth hung open. He didn’t expect to hear such things from Lana. “Don’t talk nonsense.” His voice hardened.

“I’m not. I’m serious. That’s the least I could do to make up –“

“’Then, what about me? Have you not spared a thought for my feelings?!” Jongin scolded.

“You’ll survive. Besides you know Mira way longer than you know me.” Lana’s words were harsh. She knew it but that was the only way. She was having difficulties controlling her emotions especially when she was hurt just as much.

“Lana –“ Jongin was in utter shock and disappointment. “Am I really that insignificant in your life?”

Lana looked away, unable to see his eyes any longer. Tears flowed down her cheeks and it was unstoppable. “I’m telling you to give her a chance.” She finally reasoned.

“How could you say such things?” Jongin choked. Tears welled up but he refused to cry. He wanted to know his position in Lana’s life. “Answer me honestly; do you really want me to leave you?”

Lana sobbed uncontrollably. That was it, totally hit her weak spot. That was the question she prayed to avoid.

Jongin understood the silence and took it as a yes. His heart was crushed unimaginably. His world seemed to have stopped moving. Unable to look at her any longer, Jongin stood up and headed to the balcony ledge. In a swift movement, he climbed the ledge and jumped down to the first floor, unhurt. Yes, he might be physically unhurt but his inside, everything shattered.

After Jongin left, Lana crouched down and cried out loud. She sobbed so hard that her body was shaking. She couldn’t even believe the words that came out. She hurt him and he could never forgive her.

“Jongin, I’m sorry... Please don’t leave me...” Lana let the painful tears continuously flow. 

To be continued

So, is Lana letting Jongin go and choosing Yongguk instead or...

Stay tuned! ^__^