DARA's POV

 

Run! Hide! my mind screamed those words at me. But my feet won't move.

 

“I'm surprised you still remember me,” he sarcastically remarked, smirking. But I saw through him. Behind the sarcasm was pain, behind the smirk was longing. He was trying to compose himself in front of me. I can see it in his eyes, in his face. He's wearing that gorilla mask again. He was trying not to show his vulnerability in front of me. I know that everytime he wears that mask, he's trying to protect himself from me. I know that when he's wearing that mask, he's afraid that I might break him. I can't quite believe that he would need to protect himself from me. ME. To distract myself, I looked over him, starting with his feet. He was wearing beach slippers and shorts. His fingers were still slim and slender, I can clearly remember how it used to hold my face in place against his. His arms were still the same, except that it looked a bit revamp. He was also wearing a white sleeveless top and I can clearly see how his chest rose up and down. My eyes moved to his lips. I can't help but smile a little. His cheeks were different though, it seemed shallower than before. Then, my eyes met his. I gasped upon seeing the dark depth of his eyes. His eyes. Everything about him was beautiful and hot but the one I loved the most was his eyes. Then my eyes went to his hair.

 

“You cut your hair short!” I accused. He laughed. The sound of it sounded beautifully in my ears.

 

“After years of not seeing me, do you expect me to keep my hair long? And is that all you're going to say, Park?”

 

Hearing his voice made me realize how much I missed him. I started closing the distance between us and threw myself at him. “Tabi!” I exclaimed as my arms went around his neck while I buried my face in his chest. I inhale his scent. Ghad! I missed this. I missed him. I felt him froze for a while and it seemed like he had stop breathing. But then I felt him relaxed a while later, felt his heartbeat went faster. His arms encircled my tiny waist and he pulled me in closer, tighter.

 

“Dara,” he mumbled. He whispered my name over and over again, as if trying to convince himself that it's really ME in his arms; that he's really hugging me right now. I would have wanted to stay like this forever. I would have wanted to remain like this forever. But life taught me that nothing lasts forever. Life taught me that everything has to end. And as if to prove this, Hyun Seung's voice broke in.

 

“Ok, I'm happy to see your reunion but please can someone explain how this guy who looked exactly like Jiyong is not the Jiyong we know?”

 

I looked up and turned my head around without letting go of Tabi. My eyes squinted. “Aside from the name and face, he got nothing in common with Ji,” I said a bit acidly. I looked at Mr. Kwon, glaring but I was surprised to see his face. All signs of life seemed to left his face while his eyes looked like someone invisible has been torturing him but he's trying to put up a brave face.

 

“But how did that happen?” Taeyang asked this time. I opened my mouth to answer just in time the others reached us.

 

“What's going on here?” CL asked. But I ignored everyone as my eyes were still fixed on Mr. Kwon. Even someone like him doesn't deserve this kind of torture or whatever he's going through. He doesn't have the right to look like that. A pain kicked my chest as I finally recognize that look. I've seen that before. I've seen that kind of look in my eyes before in the mirror: when Appa and Ji died. Mr. Kwon looked exactly like he's watching someone he loves dying and he can do nothing to stop it.

 

~o~

 

After all the questions, long explanations and clarifications, we also found out that Mr. Jang is actually Hyun Seung's uncle. See? I was right. Fate love playing tricks on me. And to add up to it, CL asked them to move in to the resthouse with us. Great. Just great. I know that I'm not yet done talking and explaining. Tabi will surely start asking questions later on. But as for now, we were making our way towards the resthouse. There was an awkward silence between me and Tabi. Eventhough I just showed some affection to him a while ago, I can't seem to look straight into his eyes right now. Dae was driving the van with Minzy, Bom unnie, Hyun Seung, Taeyang and Seungri. As for me? Well, CL-roo insisted that we join her in Mr. Kwon's car since the van is crowded already. We, meaning me and Tabi.

 

“Small world, isn't it? Wow, I can't believe the coincidence. . . . . .” CL's voice droned on and on. Blah, blah, blah. . . . I wish she would just stop babbling and ranting. I was looking outside the window when I heard an impatient sigh. I looked up and saw Mr. Kwon staring at me through the mirror. I was sure it was him but then CL continued talking and talking. I looked beside me and saw Tabi wearing an expression that says he's in deep thought. Both CL and Tabi looked like they haven't heard Mr. Kwon sighed audibly. Was it possible that I'm the only one who heard him?

 

A while ago, he looked like someone has been torturing him but now he looked all stoned, like he became numb from all the torturing. Inspite of that, I ached to reach for him and comfort him. I know it's stupid because he's been so mean and sarcastic to me, he keeps on insulting me, belittling me and judging me. But the need to touch him was so overwhelming that I felt my arm rose to reach him but it was stopped by Tabi. I felt him laced his fingers through mine. He put our interlaced hands on his lap. I looked at him. His eyes said: we'll talk later.

 

 

RESTHOUSE. . .

 

No, I don't want to talk to him YET. So, I kept myself in the company of the others, trying my very best not to be left alone. The others were trying to get to know each other. Seungri was attacking CL-roo with questions. I know sooner or later, they'll be starting to question me, too, about me leaving without a word and all that. But I also know they're trying to give me a little time and I'm grateful that they're my friends. Bom unnie suddenly pulled me to the room she's sharing with Minzy. The moment the door closed, she faced me with a fierce determination on her face.

 

“You know that this is complicated, Dara. You better sort your feelings out!” she said.

 

“What do you mean?” I asked, frowning.

 

“Don't play innocent with me Ssantokki!”

 

I gave a forced chuckle. “I really don't know what you're talking about, unnie.”

 

Her eyes turned into tiny slit, and then she sighed. “You know I love you and I also love Chaerin, right? So, I hope the day won't come where I have to choose.”

 

 

TOP's POV

 

Dinner was done when I saw Jiyong stepped out silently. I stood up and followed him. As much as I wanted to talk to Dara, I need to talk to him first. He stopped at a dark part of the garden with his back facing me and hands on his pockets.

 

“CL looks like a nice girl. Pretty decent,” I started. I heard him take a sharp breath in.

 

“Yes, she is.” he answered curtly.

 

“But she got a lot of similarities with Dara,” I said. He whipped around to face me sharply. “Is she some sort of substitute?”

 

“She's not a substitute!” he gritted.

 

“Oh, puh-leeze. I've seen how you look at Dara and I can safely say that you look at CL differently.”

 

“I don't know what you're talking about,” he said.

 

“I've seen that look even before. The way you looked at your BESTFRIEND before.”

 

“You're out of your mind,” he said.

 

“You know what I think drew Dara to me?” I said instead. Without waiting for his response, I continued. “It's my selfishness. You see, I'm so selfish that I only think of myself and I don't give a damn to what others may think or feel. I don't give a damn if someone else gets hurt as long as I'm happy.”

 

“Why are you saying all these to me? Look, I really don't care 'coz I don't know what you're talking about.”

 

“Being selfish, I've had the guts to stand up and claim her as mine. And Dara needs someone like that. Unlike you, you're so selfless that you always think of what others may say and feel. You always worry about others that you neglect your own happiness.”

 

SILENCE. . .

 

“I really don't know what you're talki-”

 

“Don't take me as a fool. You might have fooled Dara and the others but not me. So no need to pretend in front of me!”

 

“Stop that! I am not preten-”

 

“I know the truth, Jiyong. I know the reason why you left, though I must say that I only learned about it recently. You should have seen how shocked I was when I saw you with her one time while she was going home. But I must admit, I'm wondering why you are putting up all these pretenses.”

 

“Chaerin and Dara knew each other,” he answered as if it settles everything.

 

“You're hurting her, do you know that?”

 

He sniggered. “If you really know the truth, then you'd understand why.”

 

“No, I don't understand. If it is really about the reason why your family left, then you should have told her the truth already. It would hurt her more.”

 

“I'm not planning to tell her anything.”

 

“She deserves to know.”

 

“She deserves to know?! Are you trying to say that she deserves to get hurt?!? When she finds out, it will shatter her!!!”

 

“Truth is always associated with pain. And I see that you're still protecting her. You'd better practice consistency with your words and actions. What are you really doing? Revenge? Or protection? I must say, you're over protectiveness is wrong. She got used to the way you always shield everything for her that she can't face her own problems. She needs to learn to face them, not run away from them!”

 

He chuckled. “Is that you talking? You matured pretty enough.”

 

I fell silent for a while. “Do you know how it feels to sleep in front of a doorstep, her doorstep, just to listen to her screaming in her nightmares? Do you know how it feels to want to comfort her but you can't? Do you know what it feels to miss her like crazy? Do you know how it feels to desperately want to hear her voice that you'd rather endure her nightmare screams eventhough it's killing you slowly? Now tell me who won't mature after that.”

 

I turned around as I felt the tears started forming. I started walking. I was maybe three steps away from him when he called me back.

 

“I have a question,” he said. I stopped.

 

“What?” I asked without facing him.

 

“What if I stand up and fight for her. Will you let me?” he asked.

 

I thought for a while. “Yes, I will let you. But I'll fight thrice harder than you will.”

 

“If that's the case, I have a favor and don't worry; I'm not going to do that.”

 

I sniggered. “Why would I give you a favor?”

 

“It's not for me. It's for her.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“Don't tell the others and don't tell her anything,” he said in a half-pleading voice.

 

“I can't promise that,” I answered.

 

“I'd do anything you want,” his voice was now pleading desperately.

 

~o~

 

CL asked that our things be brought to the house by Uncle Jang. I saw Dara talking to the girl called Bom. The latter is really creeping me out. The way she looks at everyone makes me think that she knows everything about everyone. Before I could think of hiding from her gaze, I bravely went to pull Dara out. “Come with me,” I said.

 

“But-” she protested.

 

“We need to talk,” I firmly said. She stood up. I took her hand and pulled her outside with me. I went to the direction of the metal swing and took a seat, asking her to do the same. For a while, we remained silent as we let the soft breeze touch our faces gently. “You shouldn't have left like that,” I started.

 

“I'm sorry,” she mumbled.

 

“Your umma's worrying about you.”

 

I heard her sniff. I glanced at her. She was stiff, with her fists balled atop her lap. I took both her hands and tried to straighten her knuckles, massaging it along the way.

 

“She's worried but she's proud,” I continued. She looked sharply at me, a lot of questions in her eyes. I smiled a little. “Two or three months after you left, I found you. I've been secretly following you, secretly taking photos of you, showing it to your mother. I also told her what's happening to you. She's pretty proud that you learned how to be independent.”

 

She gasped. “You looked for me? But why didn't you show up yourself?”

 

I fell silent. After a while, I opened my mouth, finally letting myself vulnerable. I know she can break me easily but right now, I really don't care. “I was scared. I grew afraid,” I whispered.

 

“Afraid of what?” she whispered back.

 

“Of you. I was scared that if you saw me, you'd run away again. I was afraid that if I show up in your doorstep, you'll shut the door close. So I just contented myself in following you. I never outgrew that fear. I'm still scared right now, actually,” sighs, “I asked your mother that maybe if she will show up, you'll go home. But she told me we have to wait, because that's what you said in the letter.”

 

 

AUTHOR's POV

 

Dara looked at TOP in wonder. The always confident TOP was being vulnerable right now. She hated herself for doing this to him. Without thinking, she hugged him and whispered his name gently in his ear.

 

“Say my name again,” he gently said as he wrapped his arms around her.

 

“Tabi,” she whispered. TOP closed his eyes and savored the moment. Hearing his name from her lips brought him tranquility. He had always dreamt of this: to hear her voice like this, to hug her close like this again. Eventhough she caused him pain and he hated her for making him vulnerable like this; eventhough he suffered because of her and eventhough he wants to be mad at her, he can't. The longing outwon everything. Then, he felt something moved, a shadow retreated back, stumbling along the way. With that, he hugged Dara closer.